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Susie Wiles shittalks Jaydee, Elon, Donald in too candid interviews

Trump White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles’s job may or may not be in trouble soon as the New York Times reports that, in the course of 11 interviews with Vanity Fair, she confirmed that Trump is weaponizing federal law enforcement against Democrats (no shit, but you’re not supposed to say it, lol), is lying about whether Bill Clinton ever visited Epstein Island, “has an alcoholic’s personality,” that JD Vance “been a conspiracy theorist for a decade” and only went MAGA to win his 2022 Senate bid, that Elon Musk is “an avowed ketamine” user whose actions were not always “rational” and left her “aghast,” that OMB Director Russ Vought is “a right-wing absolute zealot,” and that Attorney General Pam Bondi “completely whiffed” in handling the Epstein files (also no shit, but lol).

This is worse than when Steve Bannon told Michael Wolff that Don Jr meeting with the Russians during the 2016 campaign was “treasonous” and then Trump ordered Breitbart to fire him, right?

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“Whistleblower” MAGA FBI agent fired after “Vishnu” threat to K$H

FBI agent Steve Friend, one of the douchebag “whistleblowers” suspended for spewing MAGA conspiracy bullshit over the January 6th investigations and subsequently paraded by spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan during the House GOP’s stupid “Weaponization” farce in 2023 and 2024, has been fired permanently after apparently threatening dipshit Director Kash Patel during an interview on another “whistleblower” assclown former agent’s podcast, the New York Post reports.

“You better pray to Gaia or Vishnu or whatever your maker is, that real Steve Friend is never in a position to be an instrument of God’s wrath, because I will be merciful: I won’t give you a trial and a hanging. I’ll allow you to breathe every breath that your body will have for the rest of its natural life inside of a box, and then when it ultimately fades to black, that’s when real wrath begins,” Friend told The Kyle Seraphin Show on December 5th when discussing the arrest of alleged pipe bomber Brian Cole – himself a MAGA asshole – who Friend thinks is a patsy and K$H is in on the cover-up.

The interview came less than two months after Friend had been reinstated to his position on October 10th, following his initial August 2022 suspension for violating the Bureau’s media policy by giving an interview to Kremlin outlet RT. During that stretch Patel had publicly supported Friend and as part of his “Government Gangsters” grift but, per the Post, “was concerned by what he found in personnel files about the real reasons for the ousting under the Biden administration.”

Friend was also late last month fired as a client by Empower.us, the slush fund agency-ish outfit founded by former Chuck Grassley staffer Tristan Leavitt that booked witnesses and coordinated all the insufferable, circlejerky hearings put on by Jordan and James Comer these last two congresses.

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Markwayne sees no problem with “TDS killed Rob Reiner” post

Asked by Huffington Post’s Igor Bobic to comment on convicted felon President Trump’s batshit insane “TDS killed Rob and Michele Reiner” post on Monday, Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin said that Trump “was respectful to him, said he was a once a really good actor and all that, and pointed out the fact that he didn’t like him at all… I don’t think it was distasteful at all. The guy does not like Trump and President Trump went out and still ended it in a very nice way.”

Well that’s a new one, right? Instead of the old “I haven’t seen it” to avoid addressing the batshittery, Markwayne mixes it up and just completely tries to gaslight people on the content of it to avoid addressing the batshittery. It’s like he hallucinated a much more logically coherent and grounded version of Trump’s post in which Donald wrote “Reiner was a liberal asshole, but this is a tragedy and my deepest condolences to his family. May he and Michele rest in peace.”

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Trump Tower Belgrade nixed

Convicted felon President Trump’s wienery son-in-law Jared Kushner on Monday pulled the plug on the Trump Tower Belgrade project after spending two years working on it, the planned development felled by local protests and the indictment of a local politician, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Some douchebag who does PR for Kushner’s slush fund confirmed in a statement saying “Because meaningful projects should unite rather than divide, and out of respect for the people of Serbia and the City of Belgrade, we are withdrawing our application and stepping aside at this time.”

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Michigan sheriff prefaces bad news by explaining they found snowmobiler’s helmet near snowmobile-sized hole in frozen lake

In what one might call an exemplar of how to exercise care and compassion when writing a law enforcement press release, whoever has that job in the Mason County, Michigan Sheriff’s office prefaced a tragic discovery by writing that the early Sunday search for two men on snowmobiles, earlier reported missing in the Sheridan Township area, first zeroed in on a set of the vehicles’ tracks leading onto the surface of a frozen lake that did not have tracks leading out of it.

“Due to darkness and heavy snow falling a check of the lake from shore could not be performed. At first light, what appeared to be a snowmobile helmet was seen out several hundred yards offshore on the ice. The Mason County Sheriff’s Office launched a drone when weather permitted and spotted a hole in the ice and confirmed a helmet present at the spot of the hole. Rescuers attempted to get to the area, but kept falling through the ice, make rescue efforts impossible,” the release said, making it sound like they really tried to effect a “rescue” after God knows how long.

“The Michigan State Police Dive Services Team and Mason County Sheriff’s Office Dive Team were called to assistand made their way onto the ice. An airboat from the Manistee County Sheriff’s Office was requested to support recovery efforts and did respond to the scene. Once assets were in place to ensure the safety of divers, efforts began to get to the hole in the ice. An MSP diver fell through the ice, but was properly tethered to another diver, and was pulled from the ice unharmed.”

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Jaydee will tweet about other Brown University shooting victim Mukhammad Aziz Umurzokov any minute now, probably

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The “I didn’t kill my wife I just butchered her corpse” guy convicted

Massachusetts man Brian Walshe, aka the “I didn’t kill my wife I just found her dead, panicked, butchered her corpse, and disposed of the parts” guy, was convicted of first-degree murder on Monday, ABC News reports on what had been a novel defense case not quite flying with the jury.

Prior to the trial, the 50 year-old Walshe pleaded guilty to misleading a police investigation and improper conveyance of a human body in an attempt to sell the court on the idea that yes his late wife, 39 year-old Ana Walshe, was in a relationship with another guy and had options for her and the three boys, now aged 4 through 8, that she’d had with Brian while he was heading to federal prison on a fraud charge. Yes, he’d Googled divorce lawyers in the days prior to her disappearance on January 1, 2023. And yes, she was dead that morning. BUT he didn’t do it, he just found her dead in bed, and then proceeded to dismember her corpse in a panic because nobody would believe him that she had suddenly died of natural causes during that particular stretch of time.

So that’s why he pleaded guilty to those counts. Not the murder though. That his team contested in front of the jury and lost, possibly because “Ways to dispose of body parts after murder” was in his search history. We’ll never know if “Ways to dispose of body parts after accidental death” might have given the jury a little less to work with when weighing if the burden of proof had been met.

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Villagers for Trump leader reincarcerated after ballot fraud verdict

The saga of former top “Villagers for Trump” official Robert Rivernider Jr is a genuine slice of MAGAmericana and can really only be told in a straight line: In 2013 Rivernider was convicted of a $20 million Ponzi scheme in a Connecticut federal court and sentenced to 12 years in prison but was released due to the COVID pandemic in 2020, promptly moving down to live with his father, Robert Rivernider Sr, in The Villages, Florida. Shortly thereafter, Rivernider Sr caught the ‘Rona and died on October 19, 2020. Then on October 29, the county clerk’s office received Rivernider Sr’s mail-in ballot, signed and dated the 16th, but postmarked on the 23rd. No mystery who the vote was for.

At some point Rivernider got himself a spot on the board of Villagers for Trump and, hilariously, became a coordinator for racist psychopath Laura Loomer’s doomed 2022 primary campaign against the vast corporate retirement community’s Republican Congressman Dan Webster. It wasn’t until 2023 when the Sumter County Clerk’s Office gave his old man’s ballot to the sheriff’s office for investigation, leading to his arrest that September. Rivernider was represented by none other than Anthony Sabatini – then also running a doomed primary against Webster. Sabatini put up no defense and Rivernider was convicted. Being white and MAGA however, he only got 180 days in jail.

It’s not clear how long ago Rivernider completed that 180 day bid, but either way he had been out as of June, when federal law enforcement arrested him on what Villages-News.com reports was a violation of the conditions of his supervised release – for which he was sentenced to three years in the federal joint last week. The article isn’t clear on whether the state-level voter fraud charge was that actual violation or if it was something else. Still one less MAGA on the streets no matter what.

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QAdulteress thus far the only Republican reacting to Trump’s post

“Rob Reiner and his wife were tragically killed at the hands of their own son, who reportedly had drug addiction and other issues, and their remaining children are left in serious mourning and heartbreak. This is a family tragedy, not about politics or political enemies. Many families deal with a family member with drug addiction and mental health issues. It’s incredibly difficult and should be met with empathy especially when it ends in murder,” tweeted rogue soon-to-be-former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Monday, the only Republican thus far to react to the Orange Tyrant’s batshit insane Truth Social post mocking the brutal murder of the outspoken liberal.

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President declares Rob Reiner a tragic victim of TDS violence

“A very sad thing happened last night in Hollywood. Rob Reiner, a tortured and struggling, but once very talented movie director and comedy star, has passed away, together with his wife, Michele, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding, and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, sometimes referred to as TDS. He was known to have driven people CRAZY by his raging obsession of President Donald J Trump, with his obvious paranoia reaching new heights as the Trump Administration surpassed all goals and expectations of greatness, and with the Golden Age of America upon us, perhaps like never before. May Rob and Michele rest in peace!” posted President Trump on Monday, mourning the murder of an outspoken Hollywood lib in his own way.

And yeah if this were some National Zero satire you would’ve been underwhelmed by the lack of finesse, subtlety, and – most importantly – a “theory of the case,” as in how Reiner and his wife were murdered because of “TDS.” Like if they’d committed suicide that’d be one thing, but the way Trump tells it he seems to be saying that Reiner was somehow targeted (?) by someone he drove crazy with his “TDS”-induced rants. Is that what the President of the United States is saying here?

How’s that funny even in the MAGAverse’s internal “logic”? There’s not even any way to bridge it to a place like “Reiner was anti-Trump → Which means he was pro-crime → A criminal broke into Reiner’s home and stabbed him and his wife to death [even though their son Nick Reiner was just charged with their murders] → Therefore, Reiner got what he deserved for being a pussy liberal → LOL, Trump wins again, libs.” The best efforts to spin it will go like “LMAO! Trump just made libtards’ heads EXPLODE! See how he throws the media into a tizzy with just one post?!?! Still the GOAT!!!”

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“We won’t allow you to ruin President Trump’s reputation”

A Saturday IDF strike that killed deputy Hamas military wing commander Raed Saad and three other people – who may or may not have been actual terrorists – prompted convicted felon President Trump’s regime to privately order Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu to stop fucking around and threatening the tenuous “ceasefire” that the Orange Tyrant claimed to have brokered, Axios reports.

“The White House message to Netanyahu was: ‘If you want to ruin your reputation and show that you don’t abide by agreements be our guest, but we won’t allow you to ruin President Trump’s reputation after he brokered the deal in Gaza,” a “Senior US official” told Axios, with “reputation” the short-hand for “talking point used to prop up Trump’s bullshit claim to being a ‘peace-maker.'”

You can give it to Trump for having secured the release of the last 20 living hostages in October. There’s no un-ringing that bell, which is why he should’ve just made that the win. However also worth mentioning is that 81 of the negotiated releases from captivity were brokered solely by the Biden Administration in November 2023, another 33 primarily by Team Biden in January-February 2025, and then the final 20 after the October 2025 “ceasefire” that “Bibi” was never going to realistically respect for another three years let alone move toward a permanent solution.

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James Woods could’ve just said he’s devastated, minus the politics

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K$H fucks up again: “Person of interest” released in Providence

The suspect arrested in the Saturday mass shooting at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, has been released and local cops are blaming the FBI led by incompetent idiot Director K$H Patel, NBC News reports. “It was actually picked up by the FBI and they followed through with it and they ended up coming and locating this individual of interest,” said Providence Police Department Chief Colonel Oscar Perez at a press conference on Sunday night.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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