Convicted felon President Trump – who couldn't remember the words "criminal" or "prosecute" and instead used "people of crime" and "persecute," respectively, while introducing her – is taking time out of his day to have Pam Bondi swear in now Interim US Attorney Alina Habba. Do the Senate-confirmed US Attorneys even get this, having Bondi have to read a 50-something word oath that she doesn't know by heart by now in the Oval Office with a bunch of reporters present?

"An Oklahoma man was sentenced in a federal court in Midland to 540 months in prison for charges related to sexual exploitation of children. According to court documents, on Jan 30, 2024, Jonathon Chase Russell, 36, of Elk City, posted in a messaging app 15 images that depicted two minor females engaging in sexually explicit conduct. The next day, Russell sent three of the images to an undercover federal investigator, stating that the two minors were three and 11 years old. Further investigation led FBI agents to identify Russell's IP addresses and locate him at a hotel in Midland."

"On Feb 8, 2024, agents executed a warrant on his hotel room, where they discovered pairs of children's underwear and a green tactical backpack that contained sexual devices. Agents also discovered a smartphone, which had been hidden underneath a refrigerator and which forensic examination revealed contained a substantial collection of images depicting sexual abuse of minor children. The Western District of Texas filed a three-count indictment on Feb 28, 2024, charging Russell with possession of child pornography, distribution of child pornography, and travel with intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct. Russell was also indicted in the Western District of Oklahoma on April 3, 2024, for one count of production of visual depictions of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct. His Oklahoma case was transferred to Midland, and on Aug 19, 2024, Russell pleaded guilty to the count charged in the Western District of Oklahoma indictment and to all three counts charged in the Western District of Texas via a superseding indictment," says a Friday press release from the US Attorney's Office in the Western District of Texas.

It doesn't say he's a registered Republican. That's at trusty resource VoterRecords.com, which says 36 year-old Jonathon Chase Russell of Elk City, Oklahoma is a member of the elephant party.

"Consumer sentiment confirmed its early month reading and fell for the third straight month, plummeting 12 percent from February. The expectations index plunged a precipitous 18 percent and has now lost more than 30 percent since November 2024. This month's decline reflects a clear consensus across all demographic and political affiliations; Republicans joined independents and Democrats in expressing worsening expectations since February for their personal finances, business conditions, unemployment, and inflation. Consumers continue to worry about the potential for pain amid ongoing economic policy developments. Notably, two-thirds of consumers expect unemployment to rise in the year ahead, the highest reading since 2009. This trend reveals a key vulnerability for consumers, given that strong labor markets and incomes have been the primary source of strength supporting consumer spending in recent years."

"Year-ahead inflation expectations jumped up from 4.3 percent last month to 5.0 percent this month, the highest reading since November 2022 and marking three consecutive months of unusually large increases of 0.5 percentage points or more. This month's rise was seen across all three political affiliations. Long-run inflation expectations surged from 3.5 percent in February to 4.1 percent in March, reflecting from a large surge among independents plus a sizable rise among Republicans."

"Here, as is the case for other measures from the Surveys of Consumers, aggregate trends are driven by and align closely with the views of independents, and thus are not being swung by polarization across the two major parties," says the University of Michigan's Survey of Consumers.

This and the core inflation index's rise caused stocks to take a beating Friday.

Fanboy Texas Congressman Pat Fallon wasn't sure what to say on Friday after Fox Business News anchormoron Maria Bartiromo rambled to him about the NPR CEO Katherin Maher being on the board of Signal so he just went into his generic canned complaints about her tweets. Then, just about 11 minutes later, Trump ballsucker pollster and former Clinton minion Mark Penn sat and stared uncomfortably as Bartiromo switched to blaming "Chinese" White House aide Alex Wong and his "Chinese woman" wife, a federal prosecutor involved in January 6th prosecutions, as supposedly having set the trap for Mike Waltz to have invited Jeff Goldberg into the Houthi PC Small Group.

Bartiromo half-corrected herself, saying "I assume they're American citizens, obviously."

"I just finished speaking with Prime Minister Mark Carney, of Canada. It was an extremely productive call, we agree on many things, and will be meeting immediately after Canada's upcoming Election to work on elements of Politics, Business, and all other factors, that will end up being great for both the United States of America and Canada. Thank you for your attention to this matter!" posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, conspicuously forgetting to address Carney by the same title that the fat bastard had bestowed upon his predecessor, the "governor" of "the 51st state."

Also looks like he's just assuming that Carney's going to remain in the premiership after the election, the latest in a series of uncaring fuck yous to Canadian conservatives, amid the post's overall tone of deference and respect that could indicate Carney worked him even better than Trudeau did.

"Pursuant to Rule 23 of the Rules of this Court and the All Writs Act, 28 USC 1651, the Acting Solicitor General – on behalf of applicants President Donald J Trump, et al – respectfully files this application to vacate the orders issued by the US District Court for the District of Columbia. In addition, the Acting Solicitor General respectfully requests an immediate administrative stay of the district court's order pending the Court's consideration of this application. This case presents fundamental questions about who decides how to conduct sensitive national-security-related operations in this country – the President, through Article II, or the Judiciary, through TROs."

"The Constitution supplies a clear answer: the President. The republic cannot afford a different choice," says the Trump regime's petition to the US Supreme Court over DC Circuit Judge James Boasberg's orders impeding the fat fuck's invocation of the Alien Enemies Act to speed up deportations of Venezuelan migrants without any shred of due process. "The republic cannot afford a different choice" part's definitely on-brand with the histrionic, entitled cuntishness.

Conservative Mormon entrepreneur Trevor Milton, founder of failed EV truck company Nikola, who had been sentenced to four years in the joint for two counts of wire fraud and one count of securities fraud for lying to investors about the technology and how many preorders had been placed for the trucks, and on the hook for $695 million in court-ordered restitution to shareholders and a backer, is now free of such burdens after receiving a pardon as a return on investment to convicted felon President Trump's 2024 campaign, CNBC reports on more third-world bullshit.

"Oh my gosh, oh, you won't believe what just happened," Milton, who sent $920,000 to the "Trump 47 Committee," said in an Instagram video posted Thursday. "Probably the best day I've had in five years. I just got a call from the president of the United States, on my phone, and he signed my full and unconditional pardon of innocence… I am free. The prosecutors can no longer hurt me. They can't destroy my family, they can't rip everything away from me, they can't ruin my life." There was some doubt initially over whether Milton was pardoned, but the White House confirmed it to CNBC.

Nikola was once a "unicorn" in the space despite being stuck taking famed inventor Nikola Tesla's first name since his last name was already taken, lol. They're the second American electric truck company born in the era of the Orange God Emperor's "manufacturing is back" bullshit in his first term to turn out to be built on a foundation of lies after the Lordstown Motors failure.

A GoFundMe page set up for Harvard Medical School bioinformatician Kseniia Petrova linked from an article by a Cyrillic site CurrentTime.tv detail how Petrova was arrested at Boston Logan International Airport last month carrying frog embryos she allegedly failed to declare or were contraband or something and has since been locked up in an ICE facility in Louisiana.

"Hello! We are friends of Kseniia and are hoping to find others who will help to support her through a difficult time ahead. Kseniia's story (in brief): Ksenia fled persecution in Russia for protesting (without destruction or violence) the war in Ukraine. As a talented computer scientist, she was hired to work for Harvard Medical School and came to the US on a work visa. She has worked hard and lived in the US for over two years now. Coming back from a trip in France, she had her visa revoked and stated she was afraid to be sent back to Russia. At that point, she was taken to an ICE detention center. We are awaiting her parole, but she has been detained since Feb 16," says the GoFundMe page's summary of the predicament that seems a little extra on the hopium for parole and not the distinct possibility that Petrova will be deported to face Russian "justice."

Worth asking if the Trump regime grabbed her because the Kremlin mentioned they needed a favor.

Great to be in Manila with @dndphl Secretary Gilberto Teodoro, Jr. The U.S.-Philippines alliance was forged in WWII and remains stronger than ever. Shoulder to shoulder, we stand for peace through strength in the Indo-Pacific. pic.twitter.com/AMl4v9heQO

- Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth (@SecDef) March 28, 2025

"President Trump's dramatic rug pull of Rep Elise Stefanik's (R-NY) UN ambassador nomination has given House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La) a new series of headaches," says the lede to a Thursday Axios story immediately followed by a "Why it matters" bullet point saying "Johnson has to reassure GOP lawmakers after their president said he's nervous about a Trump +20 district."

Lol. Then, in a "Driving the news" bullet Axios writes "In explaining his decision, Trump undercut the NRCC line that there was no risk of the GOP losing any special elections this year."

Also lol and very reminiscent of when the fat bastard refused to rule out a recession in that interview with Fox News idiot Maria Bartiromo, causing stocks take an absolute beating the next day. It's almost like just shutting the fuck up and letting the cards fall as they may would've been the better option for Trump in both situations which, though different, are inextricably linked. Mostly in one direction, as a recession and even talk of one are definitely a factor in the GOP's electoral outlook.

The Axios story doesn't have any good anonymous quotes but Politico's similarly-premised Friday article has an unnamed "top GOP operative" saying "If we're far underperforming in seats Trump won by 30 then there's obvious concern about having to chance special elections in seats Trump won by a lot less. The juice is not worth the squeeze sweating them out." Sucks for Elise Stefanik.

A mid-level Department of Homeland Security official is currently on unpaid leave, faces revocation of her security clearance, and is almost certainly going to be looking for a new job after an incident in late January when she accidentally added a reporter from a DC-based right wing news outlet to an email thread about and prior to a series of ICE raids in the Denver area, NBC News reports.

It gets better: The official – unidentified by NBC's sources "out of fear she would face retaliation from members of the public who are pro-immigration enforcement" – realized her mistake and then spoke to the reporter who agreed not to publish any of the unclassified details of the planning for the raids, apparently not even after they were executed without incident. The official owned her mistake to colleagues, who let it go save for one who passed it along to dog-murderer Kristi Noem and bald asshole Tom Homan – during a time when both were having public tantrums over leaks supposedly having compromised other operations. Homan himself fucking told people in December that Chicago would be the main target for ICE raids and that made its way to a Wall Street Journal article. Then in February he told Axios others in the administration needed to stop publicly hyping raids in advance, almost certainly after getting screamed at by convicted felon President Trump.

Anyway, the DHS official has 30 days to appeal her security clearance revocation. To whom the NBC article doesn't say but it doesn't sound like it's going to end well for her or that she'll still be working there in a few months. They do however amply contrast her predicament with a certain other situation currently unfolding in the Trump regime but it's so fucking obvious that there's no point in putting it here. It's not like them letting some heads roll while guiltier ones stay on is anything new.

https://t.co/PVdINmsHXs pic.twitter.com/Bw5YUCI2xL

- The White House (@WhiteHouse) March 27, 2025

ChatGPT users taking advantage of the AI chatbot's new image generator have been going hard on creating "Studio Ghibli"-style renditions of real-life events and, never the ones to look out of sync with the cultural zeitgeist, the White House on Thursday decided to publish to its official Twitter account a depiction of an undocumented immigrant being arrested in the art style of the Japanese anime studio beloved by millions. That's where were at on month three of the second Trump regime.

A fake penis used for deceiving parole officers with synthetic urine during observed piss tests is a real headache for a South Dakota convict who wasn't supposed to have it – or the meth and marijuana in his bedroom at his parents' house, the Mitchell Daily Republic reports.

The piss-fueled nightmare for 45 year-old Mitchell man Courtney Stork began when a detective spotted him driving around town without a license and, rather than stopping, Stork drove home and bolted inside. He then came back out with his mom and consented to a search of the vehicle, in which cops found the "Whizzinator" fake penis rig, an elaborate pump system in which a pouch of fake piss is strapped to one's abdomen and then they squeeze it out in view of parole/probation officers loathe to look too closely at their dicks. Stork admitted it was his, upon which cops called his parole officer to search the home for the shit that Stork is not supposed to have while enrolled in the 24/7 drug testing program. There they found meth residue and a half-smoked joint.

Local prosecutors took their time on the February 26th incident, and for whatever reason took until this week to bring charges against Stork. On Tuesday he pleaded not guilty to two possession misdemeanors for drug paraphernalia and under two ounces of weed, and possession of meth, a felony. It's not clear what happened to the fake cock or if it counts as "drug paraphernalia."

A 7.7 magnitude earthquake centered near Myanamar's second largest city of Mandalay on Friday collapsed at least three high-rise buildings in that town and killed at least three people in neighboring Thailand in a disaster that is guaranteed to have a grievous toll, the AP reports.

At least 90 construction workers were missing at a site in Bangkok, said Thai Defense Minister Phumtham Wechayachai. The shallow quake even caused damage and injuries in China.

Presiding over a preliminary hearing in American Oversight's complaint against the MAGA Reich over their use of auto-delete-y texting app Signal to discuss their fucking attack plans against the Houthis in Yemen, DC Circuit Judge James Boasberg on Thursday ordered the dumbasses to preserve all their messages from March 11th through 15th, ABC News reports.

It had to be a little awkward for Don Jr to have a new baby half-brother when he was 29, from a stepmom who has only a few years on him. He's probably chatted about this with Lachlan Murdoch, whose half-sister Grace is also 30 years younger, ex-stepmom Wendi four years older.

There's a woman named Svetlana in Berlin who's got them beat though, as her new baby brother Philipp is 45 years younger. There's another difference and this story's so fucking wacky that it needed some kind of roundabout intro: It was Svetlana's mom, 66 year-old museum owner Alexandra Hildebrandt, who gave birth to Philipp, her 10th, per Fox News, citing German outlet Bild.

For her part Alexandra looks to be in extraordinarily good shape for her age, and told Bild she eats "very healthily, swim regularly for an hour, run for two hours, don't smoke or drink, and have never used contraception," and feels "like I'm 35." Philipp was born via c-section like most of his siblings.

It's not clear if Alexandra's descended from the product of some Nazi breeding program. Those were real and there's no way around it that their freakishly superior genetics are present in the populace today. Still get the sense that it's kind of "taboo" there to identify as having some Nazi selection.

Israeli officials complained to their submissives in the US intel community after reading that "The first target – their top missile guy – we had positive ID of him walking into his girlfriend's building and it is now collapsed," line dumbass National Security Advisor Mike Waltz had written in the Signal chat the moron invited the Atlantic's Jeff Goldberg to join, potentially compromising an informant the IDF has on the ground in the Houthi-controlled region of Yemen, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Pretty standard shit for a crew so fanatically obsessed with protecting Israel from terrorists.

Note that Turkish Tufts PhD candidate Rumeysa Ozturk, 30, is not alleged to have actually participated in any "ruckus." All she did was write an op-ed in support of the Palestinians. That's what got her abducted off the street by ICE agents in Somerville, Massachusetts on Tuesday.

"The Secretary expressed concerns regarding recent arrests and protests in Türkiye," says a Wednesday State Department press release about a meeting with Foreign Minister Hakan Fidan. The concerns were not elaborated upon but maybe had something to do with freedoms of speech and expression being cracked down during protests over anti-democratic political repression, lol.