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The Dark Valley


Sometimes I forget how bad things are out there. Besides wearing a mask as a social formality and hand washing (because I was a habitual hand washer anyway in the before times), I stopped worrying about social distancing and what not. Quite simply, I think about Coronavirus the way most Trump fans do – it’s not a big deal. Something other people have to worry about coming in contact with. I pull my mask off sometimes when I shouldn’t. I’m cavalier overall.

Six months ago was terrifying. Every day from mid-March to mid-May was a dark valley of uncertainty, not knowing if the store would have baby formula or diapers, if the power and internet would stay on, if the city would collapse into anarchy and we’d all be dead in weeks – forget the virus itself – which I was resigned to. All I could do to get out for a few hours was to go work random shifts packing groceries in an Amazon distribution facility – sometimes getting on the subway at 3:00 AM. I didn’t need the money. I needed to not go insane staring at the news and hearing ambulances outside my window 24 hours a day. It was a very ugly time.


Times Square on the evening of March 30, 2020 (Own work).

But I’m still here. My suspicions about having been infected and the virus passing asymptomatically were confirmed when I tested positive for antibodies in early June. So there’s no way to say it without sounding like an asshole so I’ll just say it: I’m entitled because I feel like I’ve earned it. It’s not a great reason, but I have my reason for believing I’m immune.

What’s MAGA Nation’s reason? Much more importantly, what made them believe their leader was invincible? He’s the center of their world, but it’s not a one way conversation. Trump responds to them. They command him as he commands them. These people are supposed to be obsessed with law and order and discipline. What’s more disciplined than protecting oneself from harm? What the fuck is the problem with wearing a mask, even if you think it’s kind of pretending?

As of this writing there are conflicting reports from the White House on the President’s condition. It appears that the video and images of him “working” from Walter Reed have been doctored. We don’t even know where he’ll be at in 24 hours, let alone a week. The fate of the entire right wing universe hangs in the balance – on top of an already serious edging-toward-probability of electoral defeat in November – now Trump has to contend with the most serious health crisis of his life.


Trump campaign fundraising text, September 12, 2020.

Trump’s fanbase are attuned to imagined threats – Soros, caravans, Antifa, BLM – while they ignored a real one right in front of their faces. He had the resources and ability to protect himself from Coronavirus infection. His fanboys had the voice to nudge him to do so. Neither happened and their world is the one teetering on the brink, lost in a maelstrom of uncertainty.

Maybe Trump will recover fully and quickly, feeling as immune as I feel. Maybe he can go back to screaming at the top of his lungs about Kamala Harris being the leader who’s secretly going to control Biden if he wins. Maybe Biden will have a bike accident and the playing field will be leveled. Or maybe Trump’s condition declines steadily. Best of luck to MAGA Nation in this apocalyptic time.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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