What if say sometime mid-morning tomorrow CNN breaks a well-sourced story that Chinese intelligence services had paid 2020 Libertarian presidential candidate Jo Jorgensen $3.5 million to run and also funded a whole bunch of Facebook ads micro-targeted at Trump fans in Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin, thereby helping to tip the election against him? Or maybe some New York Times reporter gets fired for being an alcoholic and then in retaliation reveals the data they got on Trump’s tax returns came directly from Chinese hackers who stole them from Trump’s accountants? Or maybe Fox News breaks that last June Hunter Biden and Ron Klain met with Chinese agents who were offering info on Trump’s business dealings in China, and Hunter Biden told them “If it’s later in the summer then I love it”. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?

We could tell the MAGA kids things like “It’s a total nothing-burger” and “collusion isn’t a crime”, “there’s no there there”, and “Stop trying to undo the results of the 2020 election” while they get all frustrated and angry. Then to distract from it we can come up with some story about how Trump sold all of our plutonium to China so he was the one actually colluding with them. I would even “break” the news, John Solomon-style, right here on National Zero. It’ll be a hoot.

Actually, maybe aside from the last joke, and the fact that all of this would be a just punishment for the GOP spiking election security bills repeatedly, this would suck. Nobody should ever want their party and its leader to collude with a hostile foreign nation. The real point is that Republicans are fucking scumbags for letting that shit go four years ago when it was blatantly obvious that Trump was hiding (and still is hiding) the truth about his relationship with Russia. Merrick Garland better have something good in the pipe. He’s still getting settled in, and the Capitol riot is the more immediate priority, but our patience is not infinite. We need answers on Trump and Russia.