House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is going to have to sit down with Congressman Madison Cawthorn and have an important sex talk with him after Madison told his friend some things about “orgies” that he doesn’t understand yet, Politico Congress correspondent Olivia Beavers reports.
See, sometimes Republican grownups have urges that are perfectly natural and normal, and it’s nothing to be scared or ashamed of, but these urges make them want to do some things in front of each other or even with each other while they put white powder up their noses that makes them feel energized. The things they do with other adults that satisfy these urges might seem “gross”, but they’re mostly a special thing that Republican adults share in private. Kevin isn’t mad at Madison, but he needs to understand that he made some people upset by talking about these things with his friend in that interview without asking Kevin or another grownup about them first.
The other Republican grownups were reportedly upset with Madison because it made them feel ashamed, because other people don’t understand how special and secret they are. If Madison can show Kevin he understands then everything will be okay and nobody will be upset, Kevin promises.