Russian billionaire Alexander Subbotin, a former executive with energy giant Lukoil, reportedly was suffering from a wicked hangover Sunday when he visited the home of – we’re not making this up, just relaying a translated report from the Moscow Times – a shaman named “Magua” to be treated with poisonous toads, which apparently caused Subbotin to croak (Sorry, couldn’t help it).
Now, we get that Russia is suffering mightily from international sanctions and Gatorade or Pedialyte might be hard to come by, but they’re just sugar water. There’s zero chance a billionaire would be unable to acquire them or some cheap domestic knockoff. Who the fuck is so hungover they need a goddamned venomous amphibian administered by some Russian hick magical shaman to fix it? If it’s really that bad go to the hospital and get a saline drip. Holy shit this is ridiculous.