Staff with the “Saving Scotland’s Red Squirrels” wildlife advocacy group are sounding the alarm over a suspected outbreak of “squirrelpox” which amazingly only affects squirrels, Sky News reports.
Unlike chickenpox, monkeypox, cowpox, bird flu, swine flu, tomato flu, and all sorts of other pathogenic ailments named for flora and faunae, only squirrels – specifically red squirrels – can be infected by squirrelpox. There is no current danger to humans from squirrelpox. In fact grey squirrels can’t even get sick from it, though they are apparently carrying it around and infecting the red ones. Of course should this change and the squirrelpox find its way to the United States, we’ll be ready with predictable jokes about Appalachian hillbillies getting it from eating squirrel meat.