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Secret Service gives up on finding White House cokehead

Sources within the Secret Service tell CNN they’ve concluded their investigation into Cocainegate and, as they warned given the traffic at the location within the White House, have been unable to identify the suspect who dropped a baggie of Colombian snow in the West Wing.

MAGA Congressman Tim Burchett also confirmed the same to CNN Capitol Hill reporter Manu Raju as he left the House Oversight committee’s briefing with Secret Service officials. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” said Burchett, plainly disappointed they didn’t tell him it was definitely Hunter or Joe Biden who was walking around with the nose candy.

The AP followed up and reports Secret Service investigators were unable to obtain any fingerprints or DNA from the bag. Not to go all “Blue Anon” here but that detail makes it all too easy to imagine that someone with an agenda might’ve made sure that there was nothing traceable on the bag when dropping it in a conspicuous place in the Biden White House. Some low-level fifth columnist with business there but otherwise personally in league with some James O’Keefe types who knows that a lack of conclusion keeps the story hanging in the air for the MAGA media complex.

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