“A Novato cyclist was killed last month after swallowing a bee while cycling. Phil Heiman was a 69 year-old former superintendent of water treatment in Marin County,” says the lede to a story by California CW affiliate KRON. Heiman died on November 11th, but the station picked up the story on Thursday, citing the obituary that said the man “lived doing what he loved until the very end.”
Exactly how the bee killed Heiman is unclear, like if he was allergic and the fucker stung him while inside his throat or if he just straight up choked to death on it. Either way it’s godawful and this isn’t meant to be a Darwin Award-type article like about that dipshit Kentucky Republican who drove his ride-on mower into an empty pool or the United Heathcare CEO getting canceled for his cruelty where you don’t have to feel bad about it. There’s also zero indication whatsoever that Heiman was anything other than a dedicated public servant who took water treatment seriously, unlike former Anchorage, Alaska Mayor Dave Bronson and former Richmond, Vermont water superintendent Kendall Chamberlain, both of whom unilaterally turned off the fluoride supply because it makes you gay like the frogs in that Alex Jones story or whatever those fucking mutants believe these days.
So we guess the takeaway is to just be stay alert and try to breathe through your nose when out on a bike ride. It can happen to you too, even when you’re just minding your own beeswax.