Sources tell the Washington Post that convicted felon President-Elect Trump is looking at privatizing the US Postal Service, complaining that a system whose founding predates the Declaration of Independence itself operates at a loss and that the government shouldn’t be subsidizing it anymore, the Washington Post reports on more of the usual scams that threaten to fuck up everything.

“The government is slow, slow, slow – decades slow on adopting new ways of doing things, and there’s a lot of [other] carrier services that became legal in the ’70s that are doing things so much better with increased volumes and reduced costs,” said Casey Mulligan, one of the first Trump Admin’s economic advisors. “We didn’t finish the job in the first term, but we should finish it now.”

“Attempts to privatize one of the most prominent parts of the federal government could spark a political backlash, especially for Republicans representing rural districts that the agency disproportionately serves,” the Post writes as if the tobacco road hillbillies who rely on medications delivered by mail wouldn’t quickly find some way to conclude that no, it’s actually awesome that all those socialist scumbag postal workers have to get real jobs because America First.

While privatizing USPS is probably impossible for Trump to do unilaterally, he can just fuck them over by blocking loans from the Treasury, just like he blocked emergency funding during the COVID-19 pandemic and the 2020 election because he didn’t want them delivering mail-in ballots on time.