Crude oil up 8.65 percent, Dow futures down 534 points on spike

Sunday’s a good day for oil and a bad day for stocks after convicted felon President Trump’s attack on Iran spiked the price of a barrel of black fossil goo up 8.65 percent to $72.77 and the Dow Jones Industrial Average futures down 534 to 48,462, CNBC reports on the MAGAnomic miracle.

Darwin awarded

Crude oil up 8.65 percent, Dow futures down 534 points on spike

“Sadly, there will likely be more before it ends”

Some of you may die, but it’s a risk Trump is willing to take

Three US troops KIA so far in region: Live update Sunday

Former Iranian President Mahmoud Amhadinejad killed in strike

Washington state AI’s “Spanish” option just English with an accent

IDF celebrates pew-peweing middle manager

Orange Ayatollah celebrates regular Ayatollah’s demise

Ayatollah confirmed dead: Israelis

Thank you for your attention to this matter

Israeli intel thinks Ayatollah dead

Presidential address canceled

Tulsi should probably delete this

“All I want is freedom for the people”

K$H greatly angered his Orange Messiah over Milan trip

WATCH LIVE: Demented old slob rants at Texas “energy” rally

Orange Baby freaks out at tech CEO’s refusal to supplicate to him

Islamabad claims 297 Taliban dead in so far in war

Fox News catches Energy Secretary drawing solar power

DHS announces plan to build gulags in flood-prone areas

Marketing wizard commands his thrall to rebrand their vaporware

Fat Hitler claims he’s “exonerated,” wants to “take over” Cuba, etc

NOS-huffing maniac wanted in Pennsylvania for torching house to kill phantom spider swarm cuffed by NYPD after crashing U-Haul

NASA adds a second Artemis Lunar test mission

Suppose it was only a matter of time…

Colombian pro-Trump party lawmaker’s son finally deported

Mike Johnson says Republican’s health situation may be “terminal”

Cabinet secretary’s wife says Trump “too cozy” with commie tyrant

House schedules grueling two-day workweek in DC

Wholesale price index crushes expectations in January

Ivanka’s backup somehow significantly more unqualified for job

Heartbroken Florida man wasn’t suicidal, just kinda stuck in mud

Palestinians overtake Israelis on American sympathies: Gallup poll

Huckabee tells Americans to GTFO of Israel

US laser shoots down US drone on US soil

Pakistani jets bomb Kabul

Byron Donalds disagrees with Stitt fact-checking MAGA bullshit

Indiana school bus driver manages incredible four year streak of drinking on the job without getting caught and immediately fired

Netflix capitulates in WB bidding war

WATCH LIVE: Hillary unbowed by Comer’s dumbassery

Stephen Miller “repelled” by Noem-Lewandowski affair: book

Tampa International Airport’s Crocs ban sadly just a joke

Zohran comes out victorious again

Convicted attempted murderer accused of succeeding on cellmate

Trump kayfabes a world where he obeys court orders

Surreptitious shot, consequential chaser

New Doritos Protein to boost Doritos eaters’ athletic edge

Orange God Emperor hears out “Stop the Steal” assclowns’ plan for him to declare “national election emergency” ahead of midterms

WATCH LIVE: Trump sends JD to lie to voters about US economy