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This isn’t normal

Marco Rubio is, to put it gently, a fucking worm. He’s lied and made up all sorts of bullshit excuses about his Lord and Savior Donald Trump’s crimes. He left out that the campaign “canvasser” of his who got the shit kicked out of him on the street last fall was a Proud Boy-adjacent fascist who goes by “Cuban Confederate.” He’s a just barely closeted anti-semite with links to figures on the Latin American far right, among them the literal son of a Nazi SS officer. So being the right wing conservative politician he is, it isn’t exactly all that out of character for him to be alleging a vast conspiracy by the “Deep State” to keep some explosive information from the public.

Now this is obviously a fraught subject here and one that’s seen some serious friction between National Zero and a large portion of our readership in the comments. And to be fair it was admittedly a big ask to readers to consider that two young men who dialed 911 to report 10 foot tall aliens wandering around their backyard a little less than an hour after a glowing green object had fallen from the sky just might not have been making it up, even if the glowing green object was unambiguously real and its descent was captured on at least three independent cameras.

This time we’ll keep the challenge simple: Where’s the political pushback? Rubio’s the ranking member on the Senate Intelligence Committee, subordinate to Democrat Chairman Mark Warner. This NewsNation hit was two days ago. When did Warner come out and say “Rubio is full of shit”?

Imagine Rubio was instead claiming that a whistleblower told him that Hillary Clinton had sacrificed children in a Satanic ritual on Epstein Island. As far-fetched as such a claim would be it’s still relatively more “realistic” – as in that our readers would still rate it as more plausible than the allegation that certain elements within the US government are in possession of extraterrestrial technology. It would also trigger Senate Democrats to immediately demand Rubio’s resignation for being a crazy unhinged asshole for buying into QAnon-Pizzagate fantasies.

Here’s Wisconsin Republican Congressman Mike Gallagher wearing a t-shirt of wrestler John Cena’s face with Mao’s hair doing a hit on former NFL kicker turned WWE wrestler Pat McAfee’s YouTube show. There’s no need to watch the whole thing as we’ll give you the gist: Gallagher said a longer version of the same shit as Rubio, claimed he’s going to visit Area 51, and theorized that there’s an ancient alien shadow civilization currently present on Earth. He added he’s been party to a “variety of pretty intense conversations” with UFO whistleblowers in the government and military.

Again, no pushback from Dems. “Jewish space lasers” are theoretically more realistic than similar extraterrestrial tech and there’s no move to censure Gallagher strip him of his committee posts.

Actually it would appear quite the opposite…

You might say funding an office to conduct further investigation of hypersonic orbs sighted flying over distant skies is a far cry from hearing out “whistleblowers” who claim to have first or secondhand knowledge of clandestine government programs. But don’t worry, Gillibrand is fully on board with that too and wants former Army intel officer David Grusch to testify at a public hearing.

So does Republican House Oversight Chairman James Comer, famous for his ongoing failure to connect Joe Biden to any crimes. Should that hearing materialize with the committee we’ll very eagerly await ranking member Jamie Raskin carefully and methodically demolishing Grusch’s credibility in a scathing letter like he does with everything else Comer fucks up. If and when it happens we will be so happy to run it as we’ve ran so many of Raskin’s other glorious takedowns.

Until then we have to impress just how not normal this is. It’s not just not normal in the very obvious sense that allegations of Area 51 type secret alien spacecraft is not normal but in how Congress is handling it amongst themselves. We’re simply not seeing what we think we should be seeing in a world of endless partisan shitposting over conspiracy theories from our elected officials.

You can plug your ears and cover your eyes and scream “SWAMP GAS!” all the fuck you want, but if you don’t find what has and has not been happening just in the last few days – here on Earth, in the realm of the political – strange then you need an anal probe to find out what’s wrong with you.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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