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Clarence and Sam are exactly who you thought they were

Separate reporting on Thursday further confirmed your preexisting biases about MAGA Supreme Court Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas’s commitments to corruption and extremism.

Bloomberg Law reports that Clarence’s lawyer Eliot Berke just outright refused to answer any of the Senate Dems’ questions about why the old bastard received a $267,000 loan from some healthcare industry shitbag who then forgave it, money which Clarence used to buy an RV. “At the moment, Justice Thomas has done absolutely nothing to address the perception that he may have failed to report hundreds of thousands of dollars in forgiven debt on his federal income tax returns,” wrote Senate Finance Chair Ron Wyden and Senator Sheldon White House in a letter to Berke on Thursday.

The New York Times reports that in the aftermath of the 2020 election, a lot of “patriots” hung American flags upside down – the universal symbol for distress – to express their horror at their Orange God Emperor’s defeat. Samuel Alito was long-rumored to have been one of them, but now have confirmed it by reaching out to his neighbors and reviewing their photos, dating January 17th, 2021. Alito blamed his wife in an email in response to a request for comment. “I had no involvement whatsoever in the flying of the flag. It was briefly placed by Mrs Alito in response to a neighbor’s use of objectionable and personally insulting language on yard signs,” Sam wrote. He did not elaborate on what those “objectionable and personally insulting” signs actually said, so that’s probably bullshit.

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