Health officials in Communist totalitarian North Korea are in a race to obtain desperately-needed medical supplies to solve a crisis that threatens the future of the state, the AP reports, citing South Korean intelligence reports indicating that the problem is increasingly expanding in size and weight.
Specifically the officials need drugs to treat high blood pressure and diabetes-related ailments being suffered by 40 year-old 5 ft 8, 308 lbs dictator Kim Jong-Un, whose sedentary lifestyle, coupled with heavy drinking and smoking are a major crisis in the tiny, improverished state’s government.
It’s not clear if efforts to get Kim to switch to Nicorette gum or Juul, booze only on weekends, and go on a crash diet of rice and lean salmon were met with summary executions or more elaborate and creative executions like the doctors getting blown up by large artillery guns on live television.