Voters in New York State’s Lake Erie-area 144th Assembly District face a choice next week: Do they go with a name evoking imperial courage and strength in Democratic Lockport Mayor Michelle Roman? Or do they go with the vaguely salty and gross pink processed meat-sounding Paul Bologna, the chief of staff to incumbent Mike Norris, who’s running for a state Supreme Court seat.
“When I say I believe in local control and home rule I mean that you have to give a local government the opportunity to make decisions on whether or not these massive energy generating facilities, whether it’s wind, solar or what have you, battery storage, is going to be in their community,” said Bologna at some candidate forum reported on by the Lockport Union-Sun-Journal and how is the guy’s name pronounced? Is it like Bo-LOG-na or is it “baloney”? Does he have to correct people when they say “Paul Baloney”? How the fuck does someone run for elected office with a last name like that? Like it might as well be “Malarkey” except malarkey is funnier because Joe Biden.
Hell, even “Wiener” is a better last name than Bologna/Baloney. If he was Paul Wiener then he could say he was going to stay extra hard for his constituents. In conclusion, baloney is gross.