First those Iranian thugs increased your gas prices, now they’re coming for your housing too! In a story headlined “The war in Iran hits home as housing rebound stalls,” Politico reports that the Ayatollah and his evil minions raised mortgage rates by half a percent and made the dream of home ownership more expensive for regular Americans! Will Tehran stop at nothing to act on its hatred of you and the president’s pro-family, pro-Christian, pro-freedom, pro-Law and Order agenda?
When you really think about it though, if you don’t find a house that sold for $400,000 in 2003 and sign a 30 year fixed 6.4 percent rate mortgage to buy it for $950,000 even though the school district is shittier than it was two decades ago, then you’re letting the Iranians win, really. Everyone’s gotta pitch in and if that means moving in and then on the first day getting repeatedly asked by your neighbor’s 26 year-old convicted sex offender live-in son if he can inspect your gutters as part of a free consultation for the new business he’s starting then goddamn it you better let him borrow your ladder so he can climb on the roof in sweatpants and Crocs. American national security is at stake here, you can’t be whining about only finding out he was a sex offender after you noticed that he started going outside wearing a Hot Wheels-branded hoodie after he definitely saw your son’s parking garage set in the moving boxes. Iran getting a nuclear weapon is so much more of a threat to him than some 6’3 225 lbs unemployed pederast whose parents insist is just misunderstood.
Whose side are you on? America and Israel’s or Iran’s? Sign the fucking note, you Marxist.
National Zero will resume our regular news coverage after this very important call for all patriotic Americans to make the necessary sacrifices to protect our housing supply from Iranian attacks.