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K$H launches witch hunt to find out who “lied” about him

In a leak to MS Now coming from inside the FBI, binge-drinking Director K$H Patel is ordering agents to find out who inside the FBI leaked to the Atlantic’s Sarah Fitzpatrick the details of last month’s deeply-reported story about his drinking habits, after which the paranoid man promptly filed a $250 million defamation suit against the magazine claiming they lied about him. “Print it, all false, I’ll see you in court – bring your checkbook,” K$H was quoted in the account detailing his “conspicuous inebriation and unexplained absences” – and that on at least one occasion his personal security detail had to bash through the door of his hotel room to wake him up after a night of partying.

MS Now’s source, who was probably one of Fitzpatrick’s sources, said the Huntsville, Alabama-based agents assigned to the Nixonian witch hunt “know they are not supposed to do this. But if they don’t go forward, they could lose their jobs. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

Also not great for his lawyers working the defamation lawsuit. Might ruin their case.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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