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Orange Fat Bastard melts down over Manhattan DA and NYAG, slips in the “this is all normal business” defense in statement

“Radical Left New York City and State Prosecutors, who have let murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and all other forms of crime to levels, and who have just announced that they will be releasing of people involved in violent crime back onto the without retribution of any kind, are rude, nasty, and totally biased in the way they are treating lawyers, representatives, and some of the wonderful long-term employees and people within the Trump Organization. After hundreds of subpoenas, over 3 million pages of documents, 4 years of searching, dozens and dozens of interviews, and millions of dollars of taxpayer funds wasted, they to ‘in search of a crime’ and will do anything to frighten people into making up the stories or lies that they want, but have been totally unable to get. In an unprecedented move, they retained an outside ‘Never Trumper’ lawyer from a Trump-hating law firm to work on the case. It is a continuation of the greatest Witch Hunt of all time. Now they are issuing ultimatums, working in close conjunction with the Washington, D.C. hacks who have been investigating me from the day I came down the escalator in Trump Tower, but who have failed.”

“In fact, the guilty parties were these prosecutors’ partners in crime, the Radical Left Democrats and friends. They will do anything to stop the MAGA movement (and me), even if it involves prosecutorial misconduct and harassment of a political opponent, which they are using at levels rarely seen before. They leak, they lie, and they campaign based on information that has already been gone through in other of the many investigations I have put up with. Now they just leaked that we were given one day, today, to make our case about things that are standard practice throughout the U.S. business community, and in no way a crime” says Trump in a statement that keeps going, but we thought it’d be best to end the clip there, where he says the shit his company is about to be charged with did in fact happen.

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