The organizers of the “Patriots United Trump Flotilla” planned for Sunday in Destin, Florida have hired a “professional audit team to verify” their world’s largest boat parade attempt rather than the Guinness Book of World Records, a review of the event’s website revealed. Because the CyberNinjas joke just writes itself, we’ll instead skip to the part of the event description in which the organizers say they’re fundraising for “The Implant Truth Survivors Non-Profit 501c3” (or “TITS”), to raise awareness of the dangers of breast implants, something that doesn’t exactly seem germane to a boating event in tribute to a man given to objectifying women’s bodies as part of his brand.
Then there’s also this attempt occurring on the first anniversary of the infamous Dumbkirk disaster on Lake Travis, Texas on September 5th, 2020, so in our opinion, the organizers of Sunday’s Florida event should ditch the independent non-Guinness auditors and invest in sonar equipment to warn of any approaching Antifa submarines. Those bastards are capable of anything.