What… What is this place? What hubris hath created a gas station and convenience store the size of St Peter’s square? Whom would openly defy God and nature with such brazenness?
The deity Buc-ee’s visage smiles widely as if to say “Look upon my creation and marvel! An entire glacier’s worth of ice machines stretching endlessly to the entrance of this temple!”
Your local convenience store sucks. You suck. You are nothing after you have seen this place. It is beyond context, beyond paradigm. It is utterly humbling to enter and exit Buc-ee’s in Texas City.
Even the restrooms are world famous!
Fountains of legend – and high fructose corn syrup!
The popcorn of mythical creatures! Whom conceived of such brilliance?
Utterly packed with fudge!
Meat being jerked all day, every day! Such wonder!
The goblets of kings! Shared by all in celebration of plenty!
Buc-ee stands alone, and who can oppose him? He does whatever he pleases. Buc-ee carries out his decree against me, and many such plans he still has in his store. That is why I am terrified before him, when I think of all this, I fear him. Buc-ee has made my heart faint, he has terrified me.