Failed autocrat may announce new campaign on July 4th: report

Sources tell NBC News fat former President Trump is bored with playing checkers in Republican primaries and wants to start running again to lose the popular vote a third time as early as July 4th – a date that holds some special significance to people who like to apply a patina of "patriotism" to their fascist ambitions. One adviser who is still trying to get the Donald to wait until after the midterms says the question is "whether he can sort of suppress his excitement about a 2024 rematch and not, say, go ahead and put that statement out… and waits for a big event, a big speech to do it… he also wants to crowd out the rest of the field." The urgency to squash the competition has been growing as former Vice President Mike Pence, formerly fat former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and subnational dictators Kristi Noem, Greg Abbott, and Ron DeSantis make more and more noise about running with or without the Donald making a comeback bid.

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