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Oh yeah libs? Well CNN just FIRED DON LEMON!

Hahaha! While you libs were celebrating Tucker Carlson leaving Fox News, REAL PATRIOTS scored a victory too as CNN HAS FIRED DON LEMON! Take that you socialist scumbags! Don Lemon was way more important to leftists than Tucker was to Christian freedom lovers! SUCK IT LIBS! MAGA!

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage now that we’ve helped our MAGA readers feel like the score’s been somehow evened. Everyone please pretend like Don Lemon was important.

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Tucker Carlson out at Fox News

“FOX News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways. We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor. Mr Carlson’s last program was Friday April 21st. Fox News Tonight will air live at 8 PM/ET starting this evening as an interim show helmed by rotating FOX News personalities until a new host is named,” says Fox News in a statement.

We really wanted to write “fired” in the headline. It’s probably true, but we need to wait on confirmation from a reliable source for that. God bless Dominion Voting Systems for this either way.

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Gallego 42 – Lake 35 – Sinema 14 in Arizona 2024 Senate race: poll

An new survey by Public Policy Polling finds Dem Congressman Reuben Gallego leading nutcase Kari Lake 42 to 37 percent with incumbent “independent” asshole Kyrsten Sinema in a distant third at 14 percent in a hypothetical three way race for the Arizona Senate seat in 2024, Jezebel reports.

It’s an improvement for Gallego over the Lake 41, Gallego 40, Sinema 13 finding by the same pollster in December, making it clear Sinema needs to drop out if she wants to help Lake win.

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MAGA Land still undefeated against all challenges to their narrative

“I haven’t watched the interview and probably never will because I know it is nothing more than leftist propaganda. I have watched the video of Ray Epps at the capital on J6 many times since J6, though. I have been waiting for Epps to be arrested, jailed in a DC gulag, and awaiting trial for instigating an ‘insurrection’. That has never happened, and since I have seen, as you noted, grandmas and grandpas being arrested and imprisoned for simply walking around the capitol peacefully, and others for doing nothing more than Epps did, or less, for most, I have come to the conclusion Epps is definitely a government operative/provocateur and nothing the lying mainstream media says or does will change my mind,” says the current top comment on the RedState.com article “60 Minutes Basically Screams, ‘Leave Ray Epps Alone!’” posted Monday.

This was by all appearances a sincerely written comment, as Red State requires Disqus users to pay a subscription fee to be able to post there. Someone who is almost certainly an actual genuine right winger actually wrote this out of real belief, without irony, snark, trolling, et cetera.

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Hunter Biden lawyer fires off ethics complaint at QAdulteress

“We write to request the Office of Congressional Ethics initiate a review of and take appropriate action as a result of Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R-GA 14th CD) suspected violations of House Ethics rules and standards of official conduct. Representative Greene’s unethical conduct arises from her continuous verbal attacks, defamatory statements, publication of personal photos and data, and promotion of conspiracy theories about and against Robert Hunter Biden. None of these could possibly be deemed to be part of any legitimate legislative activity, as is clear from both the content of her statements and actions, and the forums she uses to spew her often unhinged rhetoric,” says a letter from Hunter Biden lawyer Abbe Lowell asking Office of Congressional Ethics Chairman Paul Vinovich and Co-Chairman Mike Barnes to drop the hammer on the QAdulteress.

In a possibly more consequential move, Lowell also on Monday wrote to the Treasury Department’s inspector general’s office asking them to look into how former Trump aide Garrett Ziegler, also a crazy fucking Nazi asshole,`obtained suspicious activity reports on Hunter Biden that he shared during an interview on Steve Bannon’s white nationalist podcast back in November.

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Surprise! Lots of anti-“ESG” Republicans own fossil fuel stocks

A review by CNBC finds quite a few Red State financial officers have more than simply political interest in leading a crusade of divestment from “woke” banks that have made investments in the environmental, social and governance (ESG) sector. Among them is Missouri auditor Scott Fitzpatrick, who as treasurer pulled $500 million from the state’s pension fund out of BlackRock over their climate-focused policies, while also owning at least $10,000 worth of shares of Chevron.

Same story with Georgia treasurer Steve McCoy, who along with Fitzpatrick co-signed a letter telling the Biden Administration they “should be spearheading a call to invest in American energy instead of pursuing ESG initiatives that divide American energy businesses and discourage investment in these reliable energy industries.” McCoy, an appointee of Governor Brian Kemp, who as of 2020 owned at least $5,000 of bonds in fracking company Halliburton and a stake in the US Oil Fund, a crude oil ETF. Texas Comptroller Glenn Hegar owns hundreds of shares in ConocoPhillips and Devon Energy and apparently didn’t see any conflict of interest when he co-signed the same letter and harangued other state financial officials for not inflicting enough pain on the “woke” banks earlier this year.

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Five dead in UK from new “Arcturus” COVID strain

Five people have died from the new 105 XBB.1.16 strain of the COVID-19 virus – aka “Arcturus” – in the United Kingdom, all of them in Northeast England, the UKHSA reports via the Independent.

Arcturus reportedly causes horrible pink-eye like symptoms in patients, but it’s unclear who decided the virus variant had to have this ominous, science-fiction-ish name attached to it.

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Caravan Alert: 3,000 Mexican migrants heading north

A group of 3,000 migrants will travel from Mexico’s southern border with Guatemala to Mexico City to protest the conditions that led to 40 people dying in a fire at a government-run detention center, Politico reports.

The migrants–mainly Central Americans, Cubans, Venezuelans, Ecuadorans and Colombians–will likely try to reach the US border after making their grievances heard at the Mexican capitol.   Tens of thousands of migrants are backed up at the southern Mexican city of Tapachula, where officials are blocking their migration north using transit restrictions and setting up checkpoints to confirm documentation multiple times.

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Tacopina asks judge to exclude from Carroll trial sexual assault accusations where Trump didn’t grab them by the you know what

Trump lawyer Joe Tacopina, who we guess is now taking the lead on the EJ Carroll defamation lawsuit since his ability to work the Stormy Daniels hush money criminal case might be in doubt given a possible conflict of interest over his 2018 consultations with Stormy, filed a motion on Sunday asking federal Judge Lewis Kaplan if he can exclude testimony from a woman who accused Donald of shoving her up against a wall and forcibly kissing her from the upcoming trial… because Trump didn’t grab her genitals during the assault, according to MSNBC legal analyst Lisa Rubin.

“You will recall that Ms Stoynoff testified in her deposition that Defendant escorted her into a room, and then grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against a wall and started kissing her. Then someone allegedly came into the room and the incident ceased. Defendant’s motion in limine sought to exclude this testimony under Federal Rule of Evidence 413(d). Your Honor denied our Motion; however, we request clarification with a proposed solution,” Tacopina wrote in the motion.

“If Trump’s conduct did not involve the groping or attempting groping of her genitalia – his words, not mine – they want her testimony excluded, as if forced kissing and holding a woman against a wall is not relevant,” Rubin writes. Sure sounds like this trial will be a fucking shitshow.

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Ohio Republicans working hard to ratfuck abortion ballot measure

This is how hard Republicans in the Ohio state House and Senate are working to make sure a November ballot measure to institute a constitutional amendment establishing a right to abortion doesn’t happen, according to the New York Times: They want to raise the threshold for a ballot measure to pass from 50 to 60 percent and also make it much harder to collect signatures in a petition drive, but in order to do that, they have to hold their own ballot measure to pass that amendment first and are setting it for a special election in August.

The best part is that Ohio eliminated August elections a few years ago citing the cost and low turnout. They’re making an exception this year so they don’t have to worry about ending up like Michigan or Kansas, where pro-choice ballot measures passed by 57 and 59 percent last year.

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“Jesus, Guns, Babies” freak wins key Georgia GOP post

Third place 2022 Georgia Republican gubernatorial primary finisher Kandiss Taylor, a QAnon freak who campaigned from a bus with “Jesus, Guns, Babies” emblazoned on the side, won this weekend’s race for GOP chair of Georgia’s 1st Congressional District, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

It was just one of several races in which the extremist “Georgia Republican Assembly” faction’s candidates defeated more “moderate” Republicans in what the AJC describes as the reason why the actual elected GOP officials in the state, such as Governor Brian Kemp and members of the legislature, have moved to build campaign infrastructure separate and apart from the state party.

“The party apparatus is, unfortunately, an entity that continues to choose irrelevance,” said lobbyist Cole Muzio of Frontline Policy Council. “Outside groups and individual campaigns have supplanted the GOP.” Former Cobb County GOP Chairman Jason Shepherd says he’s done with the state GOP too. “I don’t recognize the GOP anymore, and I’ve decided it’s time to devote my energies to better purposes, like actually helping elect Republican candidates,” said Shepherd.

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Texas sheriff sounds alarm over wave of cattle mutilations

“Madison County Sheriff’s Office are investigating the death and mutilation of cattle along TX-OSR. Ranchers advised a 6-year-old longhorn-cross cow had been found lying on her side, deceased, and mutilated on their ranch. A straight, clean cut, with apparent precision, had been made to remove the hide around the cow’s mouth on one side, leaving the meat under the removed hide untouched. The tongue was also completely removed from the body with no blood spill. It was noted there were no signs of struggle and the grass around the cow was undisturbed. No footprints or tire tracks were noted in the area. Ranchers also reported that no predators or birds would scavenge the remains of the cow, leaving it to decay untouched for several weeks.”

“While looking into the longhorn-cross’ death, five other similar occurrences involving four adult cows and one yearling were reported along the area of OSR running into Brazos County as well as Robertson County. Each incident occurred in different locations, pastures, and herds. The other cows were found in the same condition, lying on one side with the exposed side of their face cut along the jaw line and the tongue, once again, completely removed. On two of the five cows, a circular cut was made removing the anus and the external genitalia. This circular cut was made with the same precision as the cuts noted around the jaw lines of each cow. Just like the first, there were no signs of struggle or disturbance in the grass, no blood spill, and no noticeable tracks. No predators or birds would scavenge the remains for several weeks after death. The cause of death of all six cows remains unknown,” says a post by the Madison County, Texas Sheriff’s office.

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NAACP sues Mississippi over Jackson court and policing bills

“Today, the NAACP Office of General Counsel and Covington & Burling LLP filed a lawsuit in the US District Court for the Southern District of Mississippi on behalf of the NAACP, the NAACP Mississippi State Conference, the Jackson Branch of the NAACP, and a number of Jackson residents and civil rights activists to challenge two new Mississippi statutes. The counsel team includes former Attorney General of the United States Eric H Holder, Jr, Senior Counsel at Covington & Burling. Lawmakers and Jackson residents have opposed both bills throughout the legislative session, citing outside attempts to increase policing without adequate training, silence dissent from Jackson residents, and strip residents of their voting power to elect judges and district attorneys who serve their interests. Taken together, the two bills represent a state takeover of Jackson, MS.”

“The first statute, SB 2343, which was signed by Governor Tate Reeves on Friday, April 21st, significantly expands the Capitol Complex Improvement District to bring the entire predominantly Black city of Jackson under control of the state-run Capitol Police. The bill will also significantly restrict Mississippi residents’ ability to protest and hold demonstrations in and around buildings considered property of the state, requiring written approval from the Chief of the Capitol Police or the Commissioner of the Department of Public Safety before ‘any event’ occurs. The second bill, HB 1020, creates a new court with an unelected judge appointed by the Mississippi Supreme Court, which will have the ability to hear and determine all preliminary matters and criminal matters within the District. The bill also continues a court packing plan by appointing unelected Circuit Judges to the Seventh Circuit Court District in Hinds County,” said the NAACP in a Friday press release.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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