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Well about as far ahead as he can of what could possibly be pretty damning. Santos told Semafor on Thursday he expects a secret recording made of him speaking in his office by a prospective staffer during a job interview will be published by Talking Points Memo later on in the day. “He’s violated the trust that we had in him,” Santos said of the would-be staffer who didn’t end up getting hired so why the fuck would “trust” be any part of the equation. Santos and his staff declined to hire the guy, Derek Myers, after they found out he’s currently facing charges in Ohio for – get this – wiretapping.

Santos provided to Semafor part of a text exchange between his chief of staff and Myers following the non-hiring. “I was so loyal to George, I defended him everywhere I went and then he just throws me away like I’m replaceable because I am,” Myers wrote. “I want a second chance. This was never about the money. This was about purpose and serving the citizens. You gave George a second chance. Please let me at least have a FIRST chance.” Jesus Freaking Christ this is ridiculous.

New Hampshire Gov Chris Sununu on Thursday told CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota he would support fat former President Trump if he ends up being the 2024 nominee. Camerota then pointed out that Sununu had called Trump “fucking crazy,” to which Sununu said “It was a joke! A funny joke!”

In related news fellow “RINO” now former Maryland Gov Larry Hogan does not actually support Trump for 2024, despite a shit ton of headlines on Thursday morning following an interview with conservative dickhead Hugh Hewitt. A spokesperson for Hogan later clarified and said Hogan did not ever personally vote for Trump in 2016 or 2020 and will not do so again in 2024.

Take that libs! A three judge panel of America First patriots on the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals on Thursday struck down the federal statute prohibiting persons currently under subject of domestic violence-related restraining order from possessing firearms! LOL! Go scream at the sky!

Spending disclosures to the Federal Election Commission by fat former President Trump’s “Save America PAC” lists payments totaling $132,000 in 2022 to Melania Trump’s hairstylist, Herve Pierre Braillard (who’s apparently also her dressmaker) for “strategy consulting,” Fox News reports.

Maybe that Trump is ripping his donors off (no shit) by spending their money on whatever his wife wants is less interesting than the fact that Fox News is reporting this. The whole organization dedicated almost the entirety of the last seven years to treating him like an infallible god king who could not do anything wrong, ever, and to even hint at the truth of his venality was sacrilege. Surely many, if not most, of the reporters and personalities on Fox News TV and who write for its website are still on the Trump train, but it’s possible this could be a small hint of a shift toward Ron DeSantis.

Two BLOCKBUSTER MEGA MAGA hearings in which all the LIB LIES will be EXPOSED have been scheduled in Congress for next week. First on Wednesday will be the BIG TECH EXPOSED hearing by the House MAGA OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE at 10:00 AM EST starring TWITTER EMPLOYEES getting PUT IN THE HOT SEAT by REPUBLICANS. Then on THURSDAY at 12:00 PM EST the MALE WRESTLING CHAMP Jim Jordan’s new WEAPONIZATION SELECT SUBCOMMITTEE will EXPOSE THE CORRUPTION of the FBI and the DEEP STATE. It’s all going to be LIVE ON CSPAN BITCHES!

Invoking the authoritarian and hardcore anti-LGBT regime of CPAC’s favorite European country, accused male sexual assaulter Matt Schlapp on Thursday told some MAGA media douchebag his fanboy convention organization’s next event will ban any journalist who has reported on Schlapp’s inability to get laid the night a Herschel Walker campaign staffer drove him to a hotel last October.

FBI agents will conduct a search of Vice Former Guy Mike Pence’s house in Indiana for any classified documents he might have accidentally taken from his time in office, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The “raid,” which is not pursuant to a warrant, will happen sometime within the next few days and Pence’s lawyers have been notified, similar to the FBI search of President Biden’s vacation house in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware on Wednesday, which didn’t end up finding any new documents.

She is the
✓ Youngest governor in America
✓ First female governor in Arkansas history
✓ First father-daughter governance in history

Everyone—including President Biden—should tune in. pic.twitter.com/8FlP4p8OIL

— Kevin McCarthy (@SpeakerMcCarthy) February 2, 2023

You can’t pick a small liar to deliver a load of untruths in a rebuttal following the State of The Union address. You need a big one. An all-time great gaslighter and propagandist to bullshit the American people right after their President is mostly honest with them for 90 minutes or so. Go XXXL Triple Whopper with extra bacon and cheese plus extra large lies and chocolate shake or go home.

An American Jew screaming over “idolatry” was arrested in Jerusalem on Thursday after vandalizing a crucifix in the Church of the Flagellation, the Daily Beast reports with an embedded video showing a passerby described as Palestinian wrestling the crazy asshole to the floor before police arrived.

Though most Palestinians are Muslim, there is a sizable Christian minority among them, and maybe the man who intervened was a congregant at the church. Or a Muslim who thought it was wrong to trash a house of worship even if it’s that of another faith. It’s just the latest in a string of attacks on Christian sites by Jewish extremists in Israel over the past month or so since the Netanyahu regime returned to power, and coming on day when the House Republicans, driven by the Evangelical Christian obsession with the modern Israeli state, are voting to kick a Muslim Congresswoman off the foreign affairs committee for criticizing Israeli influence over American politics a few years ago.

So if you want the scorecard there it is: Jewish extremists unleashed by an Israeli dictator are making life harder for Christians there – trashing graveyards, churches, and Christian-owned restaurants – while the supposedly pro-Christian House GOP settles a vendetta against a Muslim.

When asked Thursday by conservative dickhead radio host Hugh Hewitt if he would commit to supporting another Republican presidential nominee for 2024, twice-impeached former President Trump said “It would depend. I would give you the same answer I gave in 2016 during the debate… It would have to depend on who the nominee was,” which means no, he probably won’t.

It raises the question of why Trump doesn’t just go ahead and drop out of the primary and declare himself an independent candidate now. He doesn’t give a shit about the GOP, what does he have to lose by screwing them over and short-circuiting their whole primary? Plus he can simply say he “would’ve won but wanted to take his case directly to the American people” or whatever bullshit line.

Russian military leadership were forced to deploy a rapid response unit to put down a riot among their troops in the Donetsk region of eastern Ukraine, a Ukrainian military spokesman told Ukrayinska Pravda in a not very clearly translated article carried by Yahoo News.

“It became known yesterday that the SOBR unit (The Special Rapid Response Unit – ed.) has approached Donetsk Oblast from the Russian side. This is not related to assault actions, but to the morale and psychological state of the troops. This unit came to quell riots,” Colonel Oleksii Dmytrashkivskyi said, adding “Russian marines are also at work. The day before yesterday, in the Vuhledar area, marines tried to assault Ukrainian positions, and got, as they say, their ‘just deserts’. Thereafter, 10 people from this unit surrendered. A considerable amount of Russians died.”

Separately the Wall Street Journal reports Ukrainian forces are bracing for a large Russian offensive in the next few weeks as the first anniversary of the invasion approaches.

An omniscient rodent emerged from his darkened lair on Thursday and proclaimed to worshippers that the winter season shall continue another six weeks, KDKA reports. The rodent, whose cult of faithful call “Punxsutawney Phil,” delivered a psychic message confirming more winter to an acolyte priest, who then divined the message to those assembled for the annual pagan ritual.

The divination of a similar pagan ritual centered on a rodent god in the New York City borough of Staten Island was not yet known at this time. Extra precautions are still in place after Mayor Bill “Godslayer” DeBlasio publicly murdered one of the holy psychic rodents in 2014.

California Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi on Thursday endorsed fellow California Dem and Trump nemesis Adam Schiff’s 2024 run for the state’s not-yet-vacant Class I Senate seat, provided that 90 year-old Democrat Senator Dianne Feinstein actually retires, CNN’s Manu Raju reports.

“If Senator Feinstein decides to seek re-election, she has my whole-hearted support. If she decides not to run, I will be supporting House Intelligence Committee Chair Adam Schiff, who knows well the nexus between a strong Democracy and a strong economy,” Pelosi told Raju.

A dipshit Republican Kansas state House member on Tuesday invoked the September 11th attacks when trying to push a bill severely restricting the use of ballot drop boxes out of fear of “mules” collecting legitimate ballots and placing them in the boxes, the Kansas Reflector reports.

“Well, you know, on September 11, 2001, I bet people really wished they had locked the cabins on airplanes on September 10, but it was too late. If we’ve identified vulnerabilities, it’s ridiculous that we would not try to address those vulnerabilities until we’ve got evidence that they’ve been exploited in the election,” said Republican Kansas state Representative Pat Proctor in pushing for HB 2507, which would restrict ballot drop boxes to one per 30,000 residents of a given county and force local election officials to monitor them around the clock via surveillance camera.

The whole bill was inspired by Dinesh D’Souza’s moronic “2000 Mules” movie. The only non-Kansas state House member who spoke in favor of the bill during the Tuesday session was from out of state. Madeline Malisa, of the “Opportunity Solutions Project,” told lawmakers that there’s no evidence of ballot drop box fraud in Kansas because the drop boxes aren’t currently monitored by video camera. “I think part of the concern that’s kind of driven bills like this has been partly the whole notion of what are called mules, as far as that somehow somebody’s going to stuff a ballot box akin to, you know, there was a documentary called ‘2,000 Mules’ that came out a year ago,” said another MAGA lawmaker during the session, as if the “concern” isn’t self-generated on the right.

South African coal mining concern Seriti Resources announced Thursday it will build a 155 megawatt wind farm to supply power to its coal mines in the Mpumalanga Province, so it can keep mining coal to be burned for electricity at power plants across South Africa, Reuters reports.

South Africa’s grid has been strained by poor management and increased demand, forcing the company that mines the coal for electricity to come up with its own deeply ironic way to generate reliable power. “There are short-term solutions to alleviate some stages of [power outages], but the only long-term solution is new generation,” said Seriti’s renewable subsidiary CEO peter Venn.

Democratic voters cheer on gas stove ban: poll https://t.co/Oip3rS7aVM

— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 2, 2023

Nicholas Malindretos, a 26-year-old man from Clifton, New Jersey, has been charged with the Sunday attack on a Bloomfield synagogue in which a man was videotaped throwing a Molotov cocktail at the building, the CBS New York reports.

Malindretos failed in his attack; the bottle didn’t break.  He was identified thanks to a license plate reader that recorded his car at the time of the attack. For his effort, he’s facing federal charges of attempted use of fire to damage and destroy a building used in interstate commerce, which carry a sentence of 5 to 20 years in prison and a fine up to $250,000.

“I would like him to learn from this and to realize that we as a community are not those things that he fears and hates, but rather we are a diverse, loving, open community,” Rabbi Marc Katz said.

The company that governs the Advanced Placement tests released its final version of the curriculum for its new African American Studies program, and conservatives are crowing that the College Board caved to demands from Republican Florida Governor and guy you know who’s already planning the new curtains for the Oval Office Ron DeSantis.  But it all may have been political theatre.

According to the New York Times, the College Board claims it has time-stamped correspondence showing that the changes to earlier versions of the program were finalized in December, a month before DeSantis held a press conference decrying the “woke” agenda of the program and his Department of Education sent a defiant letter to the College Board declaring that it wouldn’t certify the program because it taught things like Critical Race Theory and white people’s role in the American slave trade and the Civil Rights Movement and stuff.

The College Board maintains that it had previously changed the curriculum, removing many of the most controversial aspects of the program and adding a suggestion that a project could be centered on Black conservatives.  From a business perspective, it makes sense:  removing controversial subject matter, regardless of its academic appropriateness, would smooth the adoption of the program in the 26 states that passed anti-CRT legislation in the Republican race panic.

A one-time Washington state glacier that stretched between Mount Rainer and Glacier Peak, the Hinman Glacier, has completely vanished, leaving only a few snowfields and a lake where a 320-acre glacier sat 50 years ago, CNN reports.

Researchers didn’t find characteristics of glaciers remaining in the receding snow, but a new lake, unofficially named Hinman Lake, was identified by the team.  “It’s completely disappeared. This was the biggest glacier in this part of the mountain range — it was exceptional,” Mauri Pelto, a glaciologist with Nichols College, told CNN. The glacier could reform, he said, “but as we continue to warm into the future that will be even less hospitable.”

Human roll-on deodorant and Republican Florida Senator Rick Scott told DC’s conservative cyber-rag Washington Examiner that his removal from the powerful Senate Commerce Committee was retaliation from human-turtle hybrid Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell for challenging McConnell for leadership of the Party caucus, an effort that failed miserably.

Scott says he and Utah’s Mike Lee, who supported Scott’s run, were removed from the committee by McConnell, a huge insult to Scott.  “This is what happens when you challenge leadership,” Scott said in a statement provided to the outlet. “It was McConnell’s decision to remove someone who has actually run businesses and ran the third largest state from a committee I’ve served on for four years. You’ll have to ask him why.”