Category: Uncategorized

Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg, fresh off her Tuesday arrest at a coal mine protest in Germany, is headed to Davos, Switzerland in what’s sure to be a contentious meeting on Thursday with International Energy Agency executive director Fatih Birol, Reuters reports.

The news might cause some serious headaches for MAGA conspiracy theorists as Thunberg can’t exactly be a puppet of the Davos global elite if she’s headed there to annoy the shit out of the Davos global elite. Now of course they could dismiss the whole thing as staged, but that would require them to follow through with the purpose for which both the globalist energy industry establishment and the teenage rabble rouser are colluding. Such a hypothesis is probably out of reach for the limited capacities of most Truth Social users and likely to be too convoluted to be worth the time and energy for the few who are. Barring the “it’s all a show” go-to, the fanboys need a hero and a villain for their usual simplistic binary narrative and it’s hard to see how Thunberg and the IEA fit neatly enough into their worldview. Energy industry good, Davos bad, Nordic white girl activist good, climate change propagandist bad. It just doesn’t shake out neatly for the fanboys.

Safe to say this is quite a pickle for the perpetually paranoid and angry MAGAmerican media complex. We’re excited to see if they have the sand in them to take this one on or if they just skip it.

Apparently hedging his illustrated child-friendly propaganda empire against the possibility that disgraced former President Trump won’t win the 2024 Republican nomination, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee has gone ahead and published “The Kids Guide to Ron DeSantis.”

It’s a rare and prestigious honor for the Napoleonic Florida Governor, as so far only Donald Trump and Joe Biden are the only other living politicians to be given their own junior Huckabooks. MAGA parents excited by the $1 special offer to introduce their kids to the angry little bastard who “may be our next Commander-in-Chief” should take caution however, as they’ll be roped into a $20 per month subscription which is impossible to cancel, according to the Huffington Post.

The floor leader of the Michigan state House GOP last month personally flew to Florida to hand deliver a letter, signed by at least a quarter of the members of his caucus, to Florida Governor Ron DeSantis urging the diminutive autocrat to run for President in 2024, Politico reports.

Michigan state Rep Bryan Posthumus, yeah, that’s really his name, delivered a letter calling the demented little conspiracy freak “uniquely and exceptionally qualified to provide the leadership and competence that is, unfortunately, missing” in the White House, and that they “stand ready and willing to help [DeSantis] win Michigan in 2024.” The letter marks a pretty notable break from the Orange Tyrant, according to former Michigan Republican Party executive director Jason Roe.

“I think it is very significant that elected Republicans are so overtly looking for an alternative in 2024. It shows a seriousness about winning, at the risk of poking the Trump bear. I think we will see more of this in the coming months,” said Roe, who was browbeaten into quitting his party post in 2021 for refusing to believe the 2020 election was stolen from Trump.

Ukraine’s interior minister is among at least 18 top officials and civilians dead in a helicopter crash in a Kyiv suburb on Wednesday, the Associated Press reports. Interior Minister Denys Monastyrskyi, his deputy Yevhen Yenin and State Secretary of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Yurii Lubkovych were among the dead, according to Ukrainian National Police Chief Ihor Klymenko.

It’s not clear if the chopper was brought down by enemy fire or if it crashed on its own. No fighting has been reported recently in the area, however. Nine of the dead were on board the aircraft, while the other nine were on the ground, according to officials. An investigation is underway.

Rejoice libtards. You win. There isn’t going to be a “Freedom Phone 2” as the Daily Beast reports the company has collapsed amid infighting, bricked phones, money embezzled to fund a video game shopping spree, and other such failures for a “revolution” that turned out to be just a lousy $120 Chinese Android model modified to be more freedom-y and justify its $500 price tag.

The Pentagon is planning to send a portion of a vast American weapons stockpile in Israel to plug holes in Ukraine’s artillery shell inventory, the New York Times reports. The Israelis of course bitched and moaned, worried that such a move would damage their relations with Russia, but the shells don’t have the Star of David flag on them. US officials also withdrew from supplies in South Korea and, as an actual, non-fake ally, they were much more amenable to the move.

For all the silly jokes people have been making about lying piece of shit Congressman George Santos claiming he landed on the Moon in 1969 or invented penicillin or won multiple gold medals in the Olympics, nobody we’ve seen has really stepped out and asked “Well, what’s theoretically more realistic for George Santos but just so fucking dark and ugly that nobody would laugh?”

Of course somebody had to be capable of imagining this one. We give that anonymous hero or heroes our props, for their pessimism has been validated: Patch.com reports Santos in 2016 raised $3,000 for veterinary surgery for a disabled veteran’s dog suffering from cancer. Santos stole the money and the dog died in agony. Not much else to add here. It’s one thing to lie about working for Citibank, because whatever fuck them. Ganking some dude’s pricey scarf was scummy shit too, but it’s just a scarf. The guy can buy a new one. But to check this many boxes – disabled veteran, suffering dog, charity scam – in one single article about Santos is… We’ll just end it here.

Police in Hudson, Wisconsin say the patriot who knocked out power for thousands on Sunday afternoon in a “lone eagle” attack on a substation was found dead at the site, WEAU reports.

“We are aware of the power outage. Unfortunately an American Bald Eagle flew into a power line and caused the outage. The proper authorities have been contacted for the power outage and the deceased eagle,” said Hudson Police officials in a Facebook post. It’s just the latest attack on energy infrastructure with suspected domestic extremist motives but the first attributed to a living symbol of American patriotism rather than humans who paint them onto the hoods of pickup trucks.

A woman who ran for a seat on the Surfside, Florida town commission was charged with murder by firearm in connection to a death that occurred just six days after she lost the election, the Miami Herald reports.

Fifty-two-year-old Shannon Gallagher was arrested during a trip to Chicago and extradited to Florida last weekend where she was charged with murder.  The details of the case are under seal, however, the date of the alleged murder coincides with the death of Gallagher’s 74-year-old uncle, who in a case of highly coincidental timing had just signed four days before his death, a new will leaving his estate to his niece while explicitly excluding his ex-wife and children.

The alleged murder happened March 21st, a week after the March 14th election for the town commission, which pitted Gallagher against five other candidates.  Gallagher finished the race in sixth.

The Justice Department had considered having FBI agents supervise President Biden’s lawyers as they searched his homes and offices for Obama-era classified documents but ultimately decided against it as Biden’s team had been forthcoming about their findings, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The revelation will no doubt frustrate the absolute shit out of Trump fanboys who think there was a double standard applied to the two presidents’ respective situations but that’ll again only underscore that Biden was cooperative and Trump wasn’t. Let them squirm angrily as much as they want.

I will never attend the World Economic Forum.

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) January 17, 2023

Rescue personnel with the Coast Guard and Hawaii County Fire Department on Tuesday continued searching for a third day for 63 year-old angler Mark Knittle who disappeared in the waters about four miles off Honaunau early Sunday morning, immediately after yelling “This fish is huge!” and being pulled overboard and underwater by the large ahi tuna he had hooked, the AP reports.

Not sure what else to write here. The account of what was very likely Knittle’s last moments relies on only one witness, but you would have to expect that cops are looking at that person very closely to see if there would be any motive for them to fake such an accident. Barring that, we’re left with what’ll probably end up the kind of funeral everyone laughs through tears, and “This fish is huge!” ends up in bold letters on Knittle’s headstone, jokes about how Hemingway’s waiting just inside the Pearly Gates, ready to punch Knittle in the face in a jealous rage. We should all be so lucky to cash out on a cartoonish mishap where the tuna hooked a human for his kind for once rather than expiring in a decrepit hospice from COVID or brain cancer wrought by stupid artificial sweeteners.

In a misdemeanor bench trial guilty verdict for California Capitol riot defendant Danean MacAndrew, DC Circuit Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly on Tuesday ruled that MacAndrew had been heeding fat former President Trump’s commands to go into the Capitol building on January 6th, 2021.

“Beyond a reasonable doubt, Danean MacAndrew knew on January 6, 2021 that her actions at the Capitol were unlawful. Every step of the way, from the western boundary of Capitol grounds, to the West Lawn, to the Upper West Terrace, to the interior of the Capitol itself, she saw sign after sign that her presence was unlawful. Nevertheless, heeding the call of former President Trump, she continued onwards to ‘stop the steal.’ For her participation in the insurrection of January 6, the Court finds Danean MacAndrew GUILTY on Counts 1, 2, 3, and 4,” wrote Kollar-Kotelly in the verdict.

A former staffer for deadbeat dad Herschel Walker’s failed Senate campaign has filed a lawsuit against gropey CPAC chief Matt Schlapp and his wife Mercedes over the sexual assault the man alleges occurred as he was driving Matt to his hotel room in October 2022, Politico reports.

There’s already some fairly solid circumstantial evidence backing up the still-anonymous plaintiff’s accusations against Schlapp in the form of contemporaneous text messages and that the Walker campaign barred Schlapp from coming to an event the next day. Walker himself even offered his campaign’s lawyer’s services to the staffer. The lawsuit, filed in an Alexandria, Virginia circuit court seeks $9.4 million in damages from the Conservative movement power couple.

The real takeaway here is that, despite all the money and media coverage lavished on CPAC, Matt Schlapp is not a star. Because when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.

This event is located in Las Vegas Nevada. In the oak room at the Venetian https://t.co/UBNERQEPFS

— Kyle Rittenhouse (@ThisIsKyleR) January 16, 2023

Because, as Fox 5 Las Vegas reports, the “Oak Room” bar has canceled the event. The Venetian’s management apparently told them no fucking way would they be allowed to throw an event with this little shit, saying “Our tenant informed us that they have canceled the event. We do not speak on behalf of our tenants, but want to emphasize this event did not align with our property’s core event guidelines,” in a statement. What’s gotta sting even more is that dead former Venetian owner Sheldon Adelson probably would’ve vetoed the cancelation if he were still around.

Pro-domestic terrorism Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene was unanimously approved by the steering committee for a spot on the House Homeland Security Committee Tuesday, CNN reports.

In a tearjerker of a story/photo essay from the New York Times, students at a Kyiv school for kids ages 6 to 18 continue to show up and learn even amid blackouts and interruptions from missile strikes causing them to evacuate to the basement shelter. There’s even pics of the younger kids having a pajama party in a darkened classroom on the last day before their winter break.

Missing from the story are parents complaining over non-existent critical race theory lessons, books being banned for being written by Black authors, litter boxes, and teachers being sued for acknowledging gay people exist. The children are however threatened by armed maniacs empowered by a Kremlin-backed organization. Though here in the United States it’s the NRA and in Ukraine it’s the actual Russian army and Wagner Group, they do tragically have that in common.

The cowardly Speaker of The House also said he doesn’t think the incident where a Santos campaign staffer impersonated McCarthy’s chief of staff was that big of deal because Santos fired that staffer, as if we’re supposed to believe any of that complete bullshit non-explanation.

In related news, McCarthy’s security detail reportedly had to step in Tuesday when a Republican Congressman exploded in rage on the floor over being denied the chairmanship of the House Ways and Means Committee. “You fucked me, I know it was you, you whipped against me,” screamed Florida Republican Congressman Vern Buchanan to McCarthy. According to Puck News, Buchanan is so pissed he may simply retire early to screw McCarthy out of a vote.

The Andrew Tate fanboys who watched in horror as their hero tried to troll teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg with pics of his garage full of luxury cars, then recorded a video claiming all the likes on her hilarious clapback came from bots, a video which indicated to Romanian authorities that Tate was in the country because of a pizza box from a local chain leading to the men’s rights activist’s arrest on sex trafficking charges, and the subsequent seizure of all of those luxury cars can take a small measure of solace in the fact that Thunberg was arrested in Germany on Tuesday.

Yeah it was just a protest arrest and Thunberg will probably have to pay a fine or do community service or whatever for trying to block a new coal mine. Maybe she’ll be banned from Germany for a year or two at worst. And she meant to do it. But Tate’s fanboys should take what they can get. Thunberg still very temporarily suffered the indignity of being handcuffed and detained by authorities. That should still mean something to them, even though it absolutely pales in comparison to possibly the greatest fucking self-own in the history of mankind that Tate achieved.

Biden Administration officials on Tuesday called on cowardly shitweasel House Speaker Kevin McCarthy to explain to the public what he gave away to the House Freedom Caucasians for them to acquiesce to him becoming speaker after 15 votes of holding out, Politico reports.

“An unprecedented tax hike on the middle class and a national abortion ban are just a glimpse of the secret, backroom deals Speaker McCarthy made with extreme MAGA members to end this month’s chaotic elections and claim the gavel. It is well past time for Speaker McCarthy and the ultra MAGA Republican House members to come out of the dark and tell the American people, in-full, what they decided in secret,” said White House spokesman Andrew Bates in a statement shared with Politico.