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https://youtu.be/ypkNUZ_39cw

The backlash from the MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT of a piddling Trump NFT has the right wing in tatters, as we noted earlier, but here, Steve Bannon and Sebastian Gorka chide Donald Trump’s handlers, calling for their immediate firing.

However, the most chilling part of the clip slips through nearly unnoticed.  “We have two years until the actual inauguration,” Gorka says at one point, signaling elections mean nothing to them anymore.  They’ll fight every election result where their candidate loses.

i can’t believe i’m going to jail for an nft salesman 😔

— Baked Alaska (@bakedalaska) December 15, 2022

That’s Anthime “Baked Alaska” Gionet, a hardcore antisemite MAGA influencer facing six months in the clink after his guilty plea for a misdemeanor parading charge from January 6th.

If there’s a better example of a prominent Trump fan publicly admitting to just how badly they got suckered by the fat Orange God Emperor, then we would love to see it.

With a bipartisan vote, the House passed the Puerto Rico Status Act, which would require the people of the US territory to take a vote to decide if it wants to become a state, remain sovereign but aligned with the United States or become an independent nation, the Independent reports.

By a 233-191 vote, with 16 Republicans joining 217 Democrats, the legislation made it through the House; only Republicans voted against it.  Republicans want Puerto Rico to stay a non-state because they feel the voters of the island would elect Democrats to the House and Senate, undercutting their undemocratic ways.  They may have a point, given the last Republican president botched the response to a major hurricane because he didn’t realize Puerto Rico was part of the United States.

It’s likely to die in the Senate because of that whole thing mentioned above about Republicans not wanting Puerto Rico to have two Democratic Senators, so there will be no combination of ten GOP Senators who would join all the Democrats to pass it.  The legislation will die at the end of the term even if the Senate won’t take a floor vote.

A school board member from a suburban Philadelphia district has resigned her position after saying she would not vote for “the only cis, white male on this board [to be] president of this district” even after acknowledging he would make “an excellent president,” NBC News reports.

Upper Moreland School Board member Jennifer Solot announced during a December 6th meeting that candidate Greg D’Elia, running against April Stainback, would certainly make “an excellent president,” before adding, “I feel that electing the only cis, white male on this board, president of this district, sends the wrong message to our community.  A message that is contrary to what we, as a board, have been trying to accomplish.

“I think that it is important that we practice what we preach. And that our words have strength when they are spoken, whether we speak them from the neighborhood sidewalks or from behind these tables,” Solot continued.  “Mrs. Stainback has done an exemplary job as president these last few months, and the strength of her performance has earned her my vote tonight.”  Stainback received eight of the nine votes from the board.

Trump Announces New Line Of Collectible POGs https://t.co/bzhZklH9RH

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 15, 2022

A Thursday afternoon article in right wing Onion clone The Babylon Bee satirically reporting that disgraced former President Trump had began offering “Pogs” to fans was arguably less ridiculous than the real world rollout of his NFT “digital trading cards” earlier in the day.

Despite being a dumb novelty that this author wasted probably hundreds of dollars (including $8 on a special set of OJ Simpson trial Pogs) on before it fell off in the first half of 1995, these fictitious 21st century Trump Pogs would at least be a physical item that could theoretically create a secondary market of among Trump fans buying and selling them in the parking lots at MAGA rallies, particularly with the $249.99 Pog “slammers” described in the Bee’s article.

Edgelord Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema on Thursday filed the paperwork required to run for reelection in 2024, not guaranteeing that she will actually run again, but allowing her to raise money for the campaign effort should she formally announce she will, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Tell me you are in a cult without telling me you are in a cult.#MajorAnnouncement https://t.co/QRi913fy1L

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) December 15, 2022

Kevin McCarthy’s inability to lock down support for the Speakership is seriously fucking things up for the incoming Republican majority, as now Politico reports he’s pushed off conference-wide votes for committee chairmanships until after January 3rd, setting the presumptive leaders back weeks as it freezes their ability to start working on bills, hire staff, and set up hearings.

Not sure what else to write about this guy that hasn’t already been written here. Republican voters should be ripping their hair out in rage over McCarthy’s utter void of anything even resembling a typical virtue of courage or leadership. Of course it’s entertaining to us non-MAGA folks, but goddamn it’s also kind of frustrating by proxy in a weird way. McCarthy just sucks that badly.

The National Archives on Thursday published thousands of files about the investigation into the 1963 assassination of President John F Kennedy. Free National Zero t-shirt to the reader who reads through the whole thing and finds the document proving Ted Cruz’s dad did it.

It’s been a little over three hours since The Great “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” of December 2022 took the internet by storm and by now you’d think every major right wing website had by now covered what the most badass president of all time had unveiled for his adoring fans. They’re kind of taking their time with it, requiring us to dig a little deeper into the dregs of the MAGA internet beyond our usual Breitbart/Gateway Pundit comments to find some choice reactions to fill this out.

“I’m impressed TGP ran this article. Damn embarrassing for Trump” – The current top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s story, published only about 35 minutes ago. Not clear if the commenter is even a MAGA guy. The Newsmax and Washington Times threads were filled with libs mocking the NFTs.

“It’s hilarious how badly made these are compared to other memes of him made over the years for free, not to mention the dissolving of years worth of garnered trust” – Post on Patriots.win.

“This is embarrassing…and I’m a staunch Trump supporter” – The current top comment on the Breitbart story about the launch. Might not be the top comment anymore because it’s getting absolutely blasted with downvotes from other Trump fans for insufficient loyalty to their god.

I had some MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENTS the last couple of weeks, too…

✔️ Inflation’s easing
✔️ I just signed the Respect for Marriage Act
✔️ We brought Brittney Griner home
✔️ Gas prices are lower than a year ago
✔️ 10,000 new high-paying jobs in Arizona

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) December 15, 2022

Oh, the shade from Dark Brandon.

Indicted criminal Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s office early last summer requested the state Department of Public Safety to compile a database identifying Texans who had changed their stated gender when renewing their drivers’ licenses in the prior two years, according to internal Texas DPS DMV division emails obtained from a public records request by the Washington Post.

The staff member in Paxton’s office was never identified as some of the exchanges were described as having happened verbally. The purpose of the request was never stated either. Though the matter was fairly quickly dropped as the 16,000 records would’ve required a manual examination to determine if the driver had actually transitioned as opposed to changes simply made to correct inputting errors by DMV staff, the real reason, whatever it was, could not have been anything good.

Not hard to imagine that sick son of a bitch implementing some sort of program to monitor trans Texans, finding out if they work in any field where they might have contact with children in order to harass them out of a job, or worse – “accidentally” leaking their home addresses to MAGA freaks who would then threaten them with violence like a state-sanctioned Libs of TikTok account.

Three of the men convicted for plotting to kidnap Democratic Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer have been sentenced to at least seven years in prison, the first major sentence in the plot by right-wing extremists pushing an anti-government agenda, the Associated Press reports.

Pete Musico, 45, will serve at least 12 years in prison.  Joe Morrison, 28, was sentenced to 10 years and Paul Bellar, 24, got seven years.  They will only be eligible for parole after serving those sentences.  The three men were not directly involved in the kidnapping operation, but they were convicted of providing material support to other members of the nationalistic Wolverine Watchmen who would carry out the scheme.

Adam Fox, the leader of the Wolverine Watchmen, faces life in prison for the plot which involved kidnapping Whitmer from her home, trying her for her public health directives during the pandemic, and a pre-ordained guilty verdict and subsequent execution that he wanted broadcast online.

Trump’s major announcement, as taken from Truth Social, was that he’s introducing a line of digital trading cards.  Yeah, “major” announcement.  He’s done.  Over.  An ex-relevant person.  A joke.

Additional commentary by Spartan: Well don’t all of us who thought this MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT might have had some sort of actual political implications – like a run for Speaker of The House, a running mate pick, or a switch to an independent – feel stupid now. Turns out my first instinct of “It’s obvious it’s going to be something really stupid, but I’m actually stumped here. What the hell could it be? And whatever it is will it at least be something we’ll be laughing about and referencing for years in mockery or will it just be something mostly boring and forgettable?” was right on the mark before letting myself get roped into all the theories that it would be something that would matter.

An attorney leading the DC Bar Association’s disciplinary investigation into shitbrained alcoholic Rudy Giuliani on Thursday recommended the disgraced former New York City mayor be disbarred for his role in the failed attempt to overturn Trump’s defeat to Joe Biden in the 2020 election.

“Mr. Giuliani has testified on several occasions that he believes there was a conspiracy. There was a conspiracy. And he was the head of it,” said disciplinary investigator Phil Fox, as the disciplinary panel reached a preliminary conclusion that Rudy had committed at least one violation.

Villages, Florida woman Ievgeniia Pinchuk, 21, was arrested at approximately 10:00 pm Tuesday for driving under the influence after she left her 2003 Honda Civic parked in the railroad crossing on Main Street in the nearby town of Bushnell, which promptly resulted in the car being smashed by a southbound CSX freight train, Villages-News.com reports. Pinchuk was apprehended on foot in the area by Florida Highway Patrol officers, who also ticketed her for illegally parking on the tracks.

This story faced tough competition in the Villages crime aggregation game, most notably from the 52 year-old resident who was arrested for throwing a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument over cooking dinner. The tree reportedly broke in half, but it’s unclear if it is a fake one that could be simply reassembled or if it’s a goner. Other strong contenders would include the 64 year-old woman arrested for shoplifting “potato chips, Tostitos Scoops, cinnamon muffins, cheesecake, Bic lighters, pistachios and beef sticks” from a local Walmart, the 74 year-old woman arrested for hitting her 79 year-old male companion over the head with a wine bottle, or the post-trivia night golf cart DUI arrest of a 63 year-old Villages man. Despite its lengthy absence from National Zero we still don’t want to overplay coverage of the vast, dystopian retirement community’s effectively limitless supply of stupid crime stories, particularly if it only really comes from one site upstream.

Senate Republicans are basically patting Kevin McCarthy on the head and saying “Hey, that’s great kid” as he complains over them cutting him out of a spending deal, Semafor reports. Stupid story short, McCarthy wants to drastically cut down the omnibus spending package’s duration from September 2023 to January 2023 so he can get a chance to “negotiate” (but really just utterly fail to control his caucus’s batshittery) early on in his not really certain at all Speakership.

“Allow the American people what they said a month ago, to change Washington as they know it today,” McCarthy said Wednesday. The Senate GOP think that’s fucking stupid and want to give him some time to grow into the role he might just squeak into before taking on a big responsibility. “I just think for Kevin’s sake, even though he’s not asking for it, I think some Republicans just feel like we should relieve him of that burden” said Republican South Dakota Senator Kevin Cramer.

The judges of the International Criminal Court in the Hague on Thursday rejected Ugandan warlord Dominic Ongwen’s appeal of his 2021 conviction on 61 counts of offenses including murders, rapes, forced marriages, and recruiting child soldiers during a 2002-2005 war crime spree, the AP reports.

Ongwen’s lawyers had argued their client was mentally unfit to be convicted as he was really stressed out and under a lot of pressure to deliver results for Lord’s Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony’s insurgency to overthrow the Ugandan government and establish a Christian theocracy at the time of the war crimes, adding that Ongwen was pressed into child soldiering himself at age 9.

Presiding Judge Luz del Carmen Ibáñez Carranza didn’t buy it, and ruling that the “appeals chamber rejects all the defense’s grounds of appeal and confirms unanimously the conviction decision.” The same judge will also issue a ruling on Ongwen’s appeal of his 25 year sentence later Thursday.

Dan Crenshaw should never be allowed to live this one down. We will give it to him that it was impressive that he actually jumped out of a plane for it, but man this is embarrassing even for lefties to watch. Certainly doesn’t help that the two “patriots” ended up losing three weeks later.

The Biden Administration intends to increase the capability of the Ukrainian military by giving it kits that can turn munitions into “smart bombs” known as JDAM, for Joint Direct Attack Munition, according to the Washington Post.  Curiously, the Post notes that it’s not clear if President Biden himself or his top national security advisors have approved the sale, making it sound like some defense official is floating the idea.

The kits can be used on a variety of munitions, turning bombs up to 2,000 pounds into precision-guided weapons.  American forces typically use them on bombs dropped by aircraft, but the kits could be used on ground-based artillery.