Category: Uncategorized

The chief financial officer of Tyson Foods was arrested Sunday after being found drunk in bed.  A bed that was not his own.  In a house that was not his own.  Which was occupied by a family he did not know.  But don’t worry:  his job’s secure.

John R. Tyson–the 32-year-old executive at Tyson Foods who was named CFO on October 2nd totally on his own merits and not because he’s the son of company chairman John H. Tyson–was discovered by a woman returning home early Sunday morning.

The woman found Tyson, disrobed and reeking of alcohol, sleeping in her bed.  She found his wallet in his pants, on the floor with the rest of his clothes, with his identification and called police, according to KNWA/KFTA in Fayetteville. 

“Because Plaintiffs have established that the Board of Supervisors has acted unlawfully by ordering a full hand count, they need not satisfy the standard for injunctive relief here. Arizona Public Integrity Alliance v. Fontes, supra. Regardless, Plaintiffs have nonetheless satisfied the standard for injunctive relief in this case. Because the Board of Supervisors had no authority to order a full hand count audit of the electronic tabulation of votes cast in the general election, Plaintiffs are very likely to succeed on the merits of their special action. Additionally, because the proposed audit does not comply with clearly stated Arizona law, public policy and the public interest are served by enjoining the unlawful action,” says the ruling in a lawsuit filed by the Arizona Alliance of Retired Americans and a Democratic voter against members of the Cochise County, Arizona Board of Supervisors.

“Defendants urge the Court to consider that permitting a full hand count audit would help ameliorate fears that the electronic count was incorrect, and that it ensures that every vote is counted and counted correctly. However, there is no evidence before this Court that electronic tabulation is inaccurate in the first instance, or more importantly, that the audit system established by law is insufficient to detect any inaccuracy it may possess. The Court understands and recognizes that many citizens believe that a full hand count is the only appropriate methodology to accurately count the people’s vote. However, the question of what methodology of vote counting is most appropriate, or most supported by the public, is not the question that is currently before this Court,”

Climate change is hitting the United States harder and faster than most of the rest of the world, with temperatures increasing 68% faster and the impact being felt in every corner of the country, the National Climate Assessment reports, according to the Washington Post.

“The things Americans value most are at risk,” write the authors of the National Climate Assessment, compiled by the U.S. Global Change Research Program, a blue-ribbon presidential commission of scientists, economists, sociologists and other experts who believe in science. “Many of the harmful impacts that people across the country are already experiencing will worsen as warming increases, and new risks will emerge.”

The report finds that the United States has seen temperatures increase at a rate 68% greater than the rest of the world.  The continental US has seen a temperature increase of 2.5 degrees Fahrenheit in the last half-century.  Around the nation, that increase has led to diverse impacts:  more intense storms more frequently (i.e., “100 year flooding” every five years); drier air fueling droughts and wildfires; and increased flooding.

Heavy rain and snowfall forecast for California, Nevada, and Utah could dampen election day turnout, the New York Times reports. Kind of fucking pathetic we have to write this article at this point, but it’s not a non-factor considering how much Republicans have turned against mail-in voting and are banking on election day-only in-person turnout. Among the districts expected to get hit especially hard are California’s 27th, where FiveThirtyEight forecasts a 51.1% – 48.9% win for incumbent GOP Congressman Mike Garcia over Dem challenger Christy Smith and heavy rain could seriously make the difference there. The entire state of Nevada is expected to get rained on while the Senate and governor’s races are on a knife’s edge. Separately in Wisconsin, while we don’t expect there to be much impact from it, every little bit helps as light rain is in the forecast for the state’s rural northern hinterlands, as is the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

On the stand for cross examination by prosecutors during his trial on charges of seditious conspiracy, Oath Keepers founder Stewie Rhodes on Monday went there regarding his sexual relationship with the MAGA terrorist militia’s batshit lawyer Kelleye SoRelle and then got mildly annoyed with DC Assistant US Attorney Kathryn Rakoczy for asking about it on the next question.

Rakoczy asked Rhodes whether SoRelle was following his orders when she texted Oath Keepers about deleting their texts related to January 6th, to which Rhodes answered that it was her idea, saying SoRelle is a type A personality “outside the bedroom.” When Rakoczy then asked if Rhodes exerts “some level of control” over SoRelle, he shot back with “Do we have to get into kink? Really?”

Why Ted Cruz is riding in the World Series Championship parade for the Houston Astros is a question for another day–likely answered by Cruz having no self-earned glory, only disgrace, so he must shine in the reflected glow of others–but the reaction Texans have to the poser prince is obvious by the volume of boos.

Republicans are reportedly freaking out over rumors their Orange God Emperor may “officially” announce his comeback attempt at the presidency at the Ohio rally for asshole Senate candidate JD Vance, according to multiple reports.

In a #MehmetMonday miracle, the Crystal Ball is on board with our Sultan. https://t.co/BYce2ITBAC

— Jeff Ditzler (@JeffDitzler) November 7, 2022

The final pre-midterms Politico/Morning Consult survey finds the party of Hunter Biden leading the party of investigating Hunter Biden 48 to 43 percent on the generic Congressional ballot.

“Voters often treat midterm elections as a referendum on the president and his [son], which suggests that support for [the party of smoking crack and selling overpriced paintings] is on the wane, and many polling averages indicate that voters are more inclined to vote for [investigating Hunter Biden and his laptop] as a result. The POLITICO-Morning Consult poll is an outlier on this question, showing support for [pro-Hunter Biden] congressional candidates at 48 percent, five points above support for [anti-Hunter Biden] candidates,” write Politico reporters, badmouthing their own survey’s findings for not going along with the anti-Hunter Biden mainstream media narrative.

A brigade of Russian marines wrote a letter complaining of “incompetent” generals using them as “cannon fodder” after with 300 of their men were reportedly killed or wounded in four days of heavy fighting in Ukraine, the Daily Mail reports. Marines from the 155th Naval Infantry Brigade wrote an angry letter to a regional governor, claiming Generals Rustam Muradov and Zurab Akhmedov had walked them into a slaughter in the Donetsk region, a Kremlin-backed puppet state in Eastern Ukraine. The soldiers claimed Muradov and Akhmedov were “hiding” the battlefield setbacks and “playing down the number of losses for fear of being held responsible.”

The letter surfaced as reports of near-open mutiny among Russian troops in the Kremlin’s military circulated, with recent footage reportedly showing soldiers yelling “get out of here,” “shame on you,” and “down with Putin’s regime” at their general while being mustered at a training base in southwest Russia just prior to their deployment in Ukraine. Real savvy genius stuff.

“Should Donald Trump seek reelection to the presidency or any other office, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington will pursue his disqualification under the Fourteenth Amendment for engaging in the January 6th insurrection. In a letter sent to the former president today, CREW President Noah Bookbinder outlined how Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment bars anyone who engaged in insurrection against the Constitution they swore to defend from holding office, and let Trump know that CREW is prepared to take action. Nearly four years to the day after swearing an oath to the Constitution, Trump incited an insurrection that culminated in a violent attack on Congress. ‘The evidence that Trump engaged in insurrection is overwhelming,’ Bookbinder said. ‘We are ready, willing and able to take action to make sure the Constitution is upheld and Trump is prevented from holding office,'” says a statement by CREW from last week.

“In September, a New Mexico judge ordered Otero County Commissioner Couy Griffin be removed from office, following a lawsuit brought by CREW and others, ruling that the attack on the Capitol was an insurrection and that Griffin’s participation in it disqualified him under Section 3 of the 14th Amendment. That decision marked the first time since 1869 that a court has disqualified a public official under Section 3, and the first time that any court has ruled the events of January 6, 2021 an insurrection. ‘Let our message be clear,’ Bookbinder said, ‘if you seek office despite being disqualified under the Constitution for engaging in insurrection, we and others loyal to the Constitution will defend it,'” the statement concluded and man that’ll be quite an entertaining shitshow if they force Donald to testify like the QAdulteress had to back in April.

Newly updated data from the US Elections Project on Monday counts 40,786,501 total early votes either cast in person or sent by mail which, per TargetSmart (which is current as of Sunday night so shows a total of 40,044,962) puts total early turnout at 8% higher than in 2018.

Should the same pace hold, total turnout will hit 128 million, nearly a full 10 million more than the historic 118.5 Americans million who voted in the 2018 midterm elections. The level of Dem early turnout has Republicans so freaked out that, in Arizona at least, the MAGA assholes are reversing course and going all out to encourage their fans to turn in ballots ahead of election day.

“Hey there! Here is the ‘ribbiting’ late night content no one asked for. Yet here we are. The Sonoran desert toad (Bufo alvarius), also known as the Colorado river toad, is one of the largest toads found in North America, measuring nearly 7 inches (18 cm). What sound does it make? Its call has been described as a ‘weak, low-pitched toot, lasting less than a second.’ Was that the toad or did something startle you?,” wrote the National Park Service on Facebook last week.

“These toads have prominent parotoid glands that secrete a potent toxin. It can make you sick if you handle the frog or get the poison in your mouth. As we say with most things you come across in a national park, whether it be a banana slug, unfamiliar mushroom, or a large toad with glowing eyes in the dead of night, please refrain from licking. Thank you. Toot!” added the NPS’s post.

The final Phillips Academy/Andover survey of the 2022 cycle in New Hampshire finds incumbent Dem Senator Maggie Hassan leading “litter box” MAGA dipshit Don Bolduc 48 to 45 percent, while incumbent Republican Gov Chris Sununu leads Dem challenger Tom Sherman 58 to 36 percent.

Russian interference hoax believer Yevgeny Prigozhin on Monday continued to promote the myth of Kremlin meddling in US elections in a post on shitty Facebook clone VKontakte, Reuters reports.

“We have interfered (in US elections), we are interfering and we will continue to interfere. Carefully, accurately, surgically and in our own way, as we know how to do,” wrote the kooky tinfoil hat-wearing leftist Prigozhin, also known as “Putin’s Chef,” and the man behind the brutal mercenary outfit the Wagner Group and the so-called “troll farms” that libs claim have promoted totally accurate news about Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden being deeply corrupt.

“During our pinpoint operations, we will remove both kidneys and the liver at once,” added Prigozhin, who should be investigated for hyping this hateful Russia Russia Russia hoax.

Happy two year anniversary of the famous Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference! Thanks for the wonderful memory of you ranting about fraud and how Trump actually won only for the Associated Press and all the other major networks to call the 2020 election for Biden while you were standing in a parking lot between a porn store and a crematorium, former Mayor Rudy!

Disgraced former President Trump has been calling his minions in Congress to ask not just if or when they’ll vote on articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden, but “how many” times they plan on doing it, Rolling Stone reports on what says a lot about what Donald’s thinking is on the topic.

It’s obvious he knows there will never be a conviction in the Senate nor does he care what such impeachment articles will actually be about, he just doesn’t want to be the only President to have been impeached twice and likely also wants Biden to have broken his ignominious record, if only via completely manufactured and scurrilous bullshit charges from a GOP House majority.

Nevada early vote expert guy Jon Ralston of the Nevada Independent on Sunday called the state’s squeaker US Senate election for incumbent Dem Catherine Cortez Masto and Republican gubernatorial challenger Joe Lombardo based on his assessment of the early returns. Ralston also says Dems will hang on to two out of the three House seats they hold in the state.

“I was correct in 2020 about Donald Trump losing Nevada and even foretold of costly Democratic legislative losses – the election denier cabal has never explained how THAT happened two years ago. I was prescient in 2018 in foretelling Jacky Rosen’s Senate ascent and Steve Sisolak’s gubernatorial win, among a host of other bullseyes. I predicted the blue wave of 2016 and the red wave of 2014, although I missed how two heavily favored Democrats would lose, too. And in 2010, while the national conventional wisdom said Harry Reid was as likely to win as a skyscraper appearing in Searchlight, I said he would,” says Ralston of his pre-election day track record.

Previously, we issued a warning before suspension, but now that we are rolling out widespread verification, there will be no warning.

This will be clearly identified as a condition for signing up to Twitter Blue.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 6, 2022

After a number of “blue check” accounts tested Elon Musk’s commitment to free speech by changing their Twitter screen names to “Elon Musk,” the Chief Twit immediately implemented a new policy that barred people from doing something he personally found annoying. 

Republican Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton announced that he will not seek the 2024 GOP nomination for president, the first of the large expected crowd to make a public statement of his status, Politico reports.

In calls to donors and supporters, Cotton has said a presidential campaign would take him away from his two young sons, ages five and seven.  However, it could more likely be that Cotton–an arguably less clownish Republican than the field is expected to be–simply doesn’t want to be part of the circus.