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Statement from Hawaii Governor David Ige’s office: “Mauna Loa’s continuing seismic activity is causing concern for some residents on Hawai’i island, but there are no signs an eruption is imminent. Hawai’i County emergency managers and experts on volcano geology will hold the latest in a series of briefings to update the public on the situation this evening in Pāhala.”

“Both the Hawaii County Civil Defense Agency (HCDA) and the Hawai’i Emergency Management Agency (HI-EMA) have increased monitoring of the volcano. The United States Geologic Survey’s Hawaiian Volcano Observatory (HVO) has been issuing daily reports on Mauna Loa’s activity since September but has indicated its scientists have seen no indications of an immediate threat. ‘Mauna Loa continues to be in a state of heightened unrest,’ said Ken Hon, chief scientist at HVO, in the observatory’s most recent report on the active volcano. However, Hon noted, ‘the current increase in activity does not suggest that a progression to an eruption is certain.’ HCDA has been posting daily snapshots via social media of Mauna Loa’s activity, based on data from HVO, including the current alert level, status, and a recap of activity over the previous 24 hours. ‘Under current conditions an eruption from Mauna Loa is not imminent,’ said Talmadge Magno, Hawai’i County civil defense administrator. ‘We’re reminding people to take this opportunity to register for county emergency alert messages and prepare or review their plans to be ready for any disaster.'”

Said New Hampshire Republican Senate candidate Don Bolduc on some MAGA dipshit’s internet TV show on Thursday: “Identifying as a cat, hissing at other students, meowing during tests, licking themselves like cats do to clean themselves. Very, very disruptive behavior, very unnecessary behavior, and behavior that doesn’t belong in the classroom. And nobody can do anything about it. The teachers can’t do anything about it, everybody’s hands tied and they have to facilitate this type of behavior which detracts from the discipline required in a classroom, the regimentation required in a classroom, and people’s ability to learn. Very, very distracting.” As we’ve reported, the apparent origin of this insane bullshit was the very real need for one Colorado school district – the one in which the 1999 Columbine massacre occurred – buying kitty litter to have something for students to use in case of extended lockdowns keeping them in classrooms without access to toilets.

Sources told the Associated Press on Friday the suspect specifically targeted the Pelosi home in San Francisco when they broke in and beat the shit out of Paul Pelosi with a hammer overnight. The odds of this being a politically motivated MAGA attack just went up dramatically, so Gateway Pundit and Breitbart staff should start prewriting their “false flag” stories to get ahead.

UPDATE 10/28/2022 12:17 PM EDT: the AP now reports the suspect shouted “where is Nancy, where is Nancy?”, as if the motive wasn’t already kind of obvious enough. Still waiting on formal identification of suspect and info on their politics to call this MAGA terrorism but damned if it does not sound exactly like what Trump fans were screaming in the Capitol on January 6th.

Nevada Secretary of State Barbara Cegavske on Thursday ordered Nye County Interim Clerk Mark Kampf to stop his moronic and terribly disorganized hand count of early vote ballots being conducted by volunteers after the state Supreme Court ruled the count is illegal.

“I am in receipt of today’s Order Granting Motion for Clarification from the Nevada Supreme Court. Pursuant to this order, Nye County’s current parallel hand count process violates the Supreme Court’s orders and NRS 293.269935(3), which prohibits the early release of voting results. The current Nye County hand counting process must cease immediately and may not resume until after the close of polls on November 8, 2022, pursuant to NRS 293.305. Further, no alternative hand counting process may proceed until the Secretary of State and Nye County can determine whether there are any feasible ‘specifics of the hand-count process and observer positioning’ that do not ‘violate [the Supreme Court’s] mandate.’ Order at 3. Please reply with confirmation that the parallel hand count process has been stopped no later than 8:00 p.m. on Thursday, October 27, 2022. You may call or email me with any questions you might have,” Cegavske wrote to Kampf.

have you done any work to figure out how the polling in these races fits v the overall house picture? it doesn't sound like it

— Nate Cohn (@Nate_Cohn) October 28, 2022

The Nates are fighting while we’re hiding under blankets hoping they stop so we all can just go out and have a fun election day together as an American family. Not sure which Nate is the mommy and which one is the daddy in this situation, but it’s very scary. Please stop Nates.

Anyway, on Thursday there was a set of four swing district snapshot polls taken by the New York Times/Siena that a quite a few people saw as actually a decent sign for the Dems’ chances. Pretty much everyone except for the Times writers – including Nate Cohn himself – who framed it as bad news, calling it “fresh evidence that Republicans are poised to retake Congress this fall as the party dominated among voters who care most about the economy,” hence the controversy.

“Early this morning, an assailant broke into the Pelosi residence in San Francisco and violently assaulted Mr. Pelosi. The assailant is in custody and the motivation for the attack is under investigation. Mr. Pelosi was taken to the hospital, where he is receiving excellent medical care and is expected to make a full recovery. The Speaker was not in San Francisco at the time. The Speaker and her family are grateful to the first responders and medical professionals involved, and request privacy at this time,” says a Friday press release on the attack from Pelosi’s office.

We’re going to give it 3:2 odds that the attacker is a homeless drug addict over MAGA scumbag. If it’s a homeless person then the right wing media are going to run wild as it fits into their “exploding crime rate” propaganda, but if it was politically motivated then they’ll say nothing. Maybe a little bit about how it was somehow justified or whatever, but not much beyond that.

Dipshit MAGA Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson told his fans this week not to vote early – or maybe not vote at all – if their county clerk is not a Republican, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports.

“I would recommend early voting if you have a Republican election clerk,” Johnson said during a virtual town hall Monday night in a clip which was tweeted by lefty news outlet Heartland Signal on Thursday. “I’m not sure I would recommend a Republican go vote in Milwaukee. I don’t know about the bipartisan observation of those early votes. It might be possible,” Johnson added.

RonAnon’s campaign tried to play it off like he was just joking. “Obviously the senator meant that as a tongue-in-cheek comment,” Johnson spokesworm Alexa Henning said, probably after realizing her asshole boss depressing his own turnout in Blue counties could actually end up making the difference between winning and losing to challenger Dem Lt Gov Mandela Barnes.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky says his country’s military has downed 23 of 30 or so Iranian Shahed drones launched by Russia in the past two days, Bloomberg reports. Also, per Zelensky, Ukrainians have shot down a Kh-59 cruise missile, two Ka-52 attack helicopters and another Su-25 fighter jet over the same period. Over 4,500 missile strikes and 8,000 air-raids have been carried out on Ukraine since the beginning of its invasion in late February.

Fascist MAGA lawyer John Eastman, already under federal criminal investigation for his role helping fat former President Trump in the failed attempt to overthrow American democracy after the 2020 election, is at it again in New Mexico, as a recording obtained by Politico shows him coaching “poll watchers” on how to challenge ballots and meddle in voting on election day next month.

“Document what you’ve seen, raise the challenge. And [note] which of the judges on that election board decline to accept your challenge. Get it all written down,” said Eastman at a meeting last week. “That then becomes the basis for an affidavit in a court challenge after the fact,” he added, obviously planning a self-sustained feedback loop of fake “irregularities.”

Anticipating a cold winter and sky high fossil fuel costs for heating, suppliers of firewood in Europe are cranking up prices amid a surge in demand – and thefts – the AP reports.

Remember “the Right Stuff,” the dating app run by the sister of former White House Binder Barbie Kayleigh McEnany catering to closed-minded conservatives?  Well, they have a new ad out, and apparently, they’ve pivoted to become an app to help sleeplessness.  Oh my gawd, it looks so boring.  Besides the rampant transphobia, there’s really nothing attractive about any of this for anyone…. except people who splurge on mayonnaise.  I mean, this make beige look exciting.

“Think Bi– Think Biden can do that?” notorious cheater Donald Trump blares after what was likely a shot following four mulligans and a “practice swing.” “I don’t think so.” Once again, Donald Trump demonstrates he has no idea what skills are needed to lead a nation.

Also News:  Kanye West runs a school!  (Or, ran.)

Donda Academy, a Los Angeles school run by temperamental presidential candidate and artist Kanye West, abruptly shut down Wednesday “at the discretion of [its] founder, the Times of London reports.

The pre-K through 12th grade school, which charged an annual tuition of $15,000, has around 13 teachers and 100 students.  School administrators sent an email to students’ parents Wednesday reading “at the discretion of our founder, Donda Academy will close for the remainder of the 2022-2023 school year effective immediately. … There is no school [Thursday].”

None of the four children the celebrity, who wants to be called Ye, has with reality TeeVee star Kim Kardashian attend the school.  Parents who send their children to the school sign a confidentiality agreement about the academy’s operations and activities.

Yay! Free Speech! Woo!

Great Britain’s Royal Mint has started striking its first currency featuring King Charles III:  a 50-pence coin that will start distribution in December.  It’s the first piece of UK currency not featuring the King’s late mother, Queen Elizabeth, since 1953.  The coin features a portrait of the King, which helps to cut down on the width of a coin needed if it were a head-on shot.  The reverse is a designed used on a coin issued to commemorate the Queen’s coronation in 1953.

The DC Circuit Court affirmed a three-judge panel’s decision that Donald Trump cannot block the House Ways & Means Committee from obtaining his tax returns as part of the Committee’s authority to research government policy, NBC News reports.

“The law has always been on our side. Former President Trump has tried to delay the inevitable, but once again, the Court has affirmed the strength of our position,” Neal said. “We’ve waited long enough—we must begin our oversight of the IRS’s mandatory presidential audit program as soon as possible.”

The House Ways and Means Committee has been attempting to get Trump’s returns from the Internal Revenue Service to proceed with a number of different probes, including why the agency had such a difficult time auditing Trump’s taxes, which Trump himself had promised to release as long ago as 2015, but claimed they were constantly under audit.  In reality, Trump could have released them himself.

“It’s on everybody’s radar screen.  Everybody’s concerned.  I mean, pe-people are afraid to rele- to leave their homes to go geh, get prescription drugs,” suspected Russian agent and insurrection abettor Ron Johnson (Q-WI) tells bloated talking walrus John Solomon.  “You hear that from seniors, so….  Skyrocketing crime is front and center, together with inflation and record gas prices.”  [Editor’s note:  Gas prices hit a record high in June and dropped for nearly 100 straight days, and are now 33% below the peak.]

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz and French President Emmanuel Macron are so concerned that Joe Biden’s programs to attract, keep and support companies in the United States will successfully encourage investment, they’re planning countermeasures to protect European businesses, Politico reports.

While the previous administration’s policies sought to inflict wounds on foreign industries in a massive trade war that failed miserably, Biden crafted bills like the Inflation Reduction Act and various infrastructure bills to attract foreign companies to grow their operations in the United States.  The IRA also incentives companies and consumers to buy American-made products–particularly in the growing renewable energy and electric car markets–putting European-made products at a disadvantage both intra- and internationally.

As inflation nearly double that of the US hits across Europe–’cause y’know Bidenflation is global–the leaders of the European Union’s two largest economies met for a three-hour lunch in Paris that included wine, fish and Champagne.

The House January 6th Select Committee is looking to conduct some more interviews with Secret Service personnel, including Tony Ornato and Bobby Engel, the two Trump loyalists who were supposed to be voluntarily coming in to testify again to “debunk” Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony about Donald’s presidential SUV meltdown but strangely never did, CBS News reports.

Disgraced former President Trump is having trouble deciding on a nickname for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to use when their ongoing cold war inevitably turns hot, stuck on whether “Potato Boy” or “Fat Ron” will be his verbal his weapon of choice, Huffington Post’s SV Date reports.