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Having already corrupted pro golf with his vast wealth and influence, evil autocrat Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed Bonesaw is setting his sights on the video gaming industry with a $37.8 billion investment into acquisitions and expansions in the publishing and eSports sectors, Axios reports.

Over $13 billion of the spend is earmarked “for the acquisition and development of a leading game publisher to become a strategic development partner,” meaning that in just a few short years gamers can expect exciting new titles like Call of Jihad: Holy Warfare, LIV Golf Tour 2K25: Trump Luxury Club Edition, Super Kushner Bros, Dissident-mon: Gotta Catch em All!, Democratic Opposition Crush Saga, and Infidel Exterminator. There’ll be something for every type of player!

Plastered with a grin that screams  “I’m going to get questioned about my attempt to overthrow the Constitution but I don’t care because I’m protected by my Supreme Court justice husband who you can’t question because we’ll yell ‘racism,'” Supreme spouse and stand-in Bumble from a holiday cartoon Ginni Thomas strolls into her interview with the House Select Committee investigating the Republican-led January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress and other efforts to stop the certification of the 2020 election.

Exhibiting the carefree attitude of someone overloaded on lithium and a certainty that no one can touch her, Mrs. Thomas is likely to attempt to claim she never, ever spoke to her husband, Clarence, about her career and lobbying efforts, for which she’s been paid hundreds of thousands of dollars annually from partisan groups like the Heritage Foundation.

This morning, I spoke with Governor Ron DeSantis to discuss the steps we're taking to support Florida in response to Hurricane Ian.

I've also directed FEMA Administrator Criswell to travel to Florida tomorrow to check in on response and survey where additional support is needed. pic.twitter.com/W6MDDDepe2

— President Biden (@POTUS) September 29, 2022

Michigan legislators on Wednesday approved a new law allowing election workers to begin processing absentee ballots two days before election day, finally straightening out the kink in the process that made so much room for disgraced former President Trump to claim voter fraud in the 2020 election in the three “Blue Wall” states, the Associated Press reports.

Now to partially self-plagiarize from an article we wrote back in March about the Wisconsin state Senate killing off a similar bill: There are now only nine states which do not allow any processing (meaning simply opening envelopes and otherwise prepping the ballots for tabulation, not even the tabulation itself) whatsoever of votes prior to election day and as shitty luck would have it in 2020 three of those ten are the “Blue Wall” triumvirate of Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. Prior to the 2020 election, the Republican legislatures of all three resisted any and all pleas to let ballots be counted beforehand, which caused the “Red Mirage” and guaranteed the “big, massive dumps” of late night ballots for Biden that look suspicious to the paranoid dumbasses MAGA Land.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers are pushing back against Special Master Judge Raymond Dearie’s order that they either confirm or deny that the Justice Department’s inventory of the items seized during the FBI’s Great Raid on Mar-a-Lago last month, CNN reports.

Whining about technical issues like “the Special Master’s case management plan exceeds the grant of authority from the District Court on this issue,” and “Additionally, the Plaintiff currently has no means of accessing the documents bearing classification markings, which would be necessary to complete any such certification by September 30, the currently proposed date of completion,” in a Wednesday night filing, as if it hasn’t already been established by both Dearie and the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals that the docs marked classified are irrelevant to the special master review, they’re actually way more boxed in than was originally apparent in the order last week.

As Marcy Wheeler wrote in a Wednesday analysis, ANY affidavit or statement from Trump’s lawyers say about the validity of the DOJ’s inventory would constitute either an admission that their fat orange client committed a crime or the lawyers would be forced to lie in a court of law. So yeah, they’re kind of fucked, and could even drag down Aileen Cannon if she fires Dearie.

A 50-foot section of one of the three spans that connects Sanibel Island with the Florida mainland collapsed overnight because of damage caused by Hurricane Ian, a storm that hit land as a Category 3 hurricane that Republicans believe was most definitely not fueled by higher ocean temperatures caused by climate change, so it must be because God just doesn’t like Florida and how Florida’s state leaders promote hate and bigotry, ’cause Pat Robertson says God directs hurricanes to places He isn’t happy with.

Florida authorities have shut down the remaining Sanibel Causeway bridges to all vehicles except emergency traffic until engineers can inspect the remaining two spans before opening them to civilian vehicles.  Sanibel Island is home to about 6,500 people.

Lee County, Florida Sheriff Carmine Marceno told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on Thursday that fatalities from Hurricane Ian are “in the hundreds” and thousands are waiting to be rescued.

“I don’t have confirmed numbers, I definitely know fatalities are in the hundreds. There are thousands of people waiting to be rescued, and again, we cannot get the true assessment until we’re actually on scene… We can’t access people, that’s the problem,” said Marceno.

A study by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found that young people in the UK who received automated text messages reminding them to practice safe sex ended up with higher rates of venereal diseases than those who did not get the messages, Sky News reports.

All of the sample of kids aged 16 to 24 had been treated for a previous chlamydia or gonorrhea infection, with half being registered with the regular SMS reminders to wear a condom – 22.2% of them ended up coming back to be treated again for one or both of the nasty bugs, while a slightly smaller 20.3% of the non-recipients needed their pipes cleaned again. It’s hard to come to any conclusion other than that these turgid young colts said simply “Oh this bollocks fuckin auto texts again! Oy just for that imma go sex up a (bloke or slag) just for annoying me!”

In 2001, at the age of 21, I was cited for having a BAC between .05-.08 while driving in Japan. Since I'm not Paul Pelosi, it led to a penalty.

I'm not proud of it. I learned from it. I remain focused on the issues affecting Ohio, in 2022. pic.twitter.com/udpAcbrh3Y

— JR Majewski (@JRMajewski) September 28, 2022

Following their “victory” in rigged referendums that we’re not sure if they even bothered to publish the actual results of, the Kremlin on Thursday announced they will “formally annex” the four regions of eastern Ukraine that supposedly want to join the Russian Federation, the BBC reports.

Welcome to the public debut of a new artist.  The images you see above aren’t photographs or even photorealistic art by a graphic designer.  They are images that have been automatically created based on text inputs.  Meet DALL-E, pronounced “Dali” in honor of Salvador Dali and WALL-E, the first artificial intelligence-enhanced text-to-image generator.  After having a limited-access test run, DALL-E is now available to the public for free at the website.  Simply put in your text–“photo of a rubenesque woman in a pool eating an apple,” for example–and DALL-E goes to work scouring its system to determine how to create the images.  It then produces four similar images it creates, not images it finds, like Google.

As their nation’s national anthem plays prior to their World Cup warm-up match against Senegal Tuesday, the Iranian men’s national soccer team wore black jackets to cover up the Iranian emblem on their jerseys, an act done in solidarity with the protestors in Iran demonstrating against the death of a 22-year-old woman taken into custody by the country’s “morality police.”

In a response to Special Master Raymond Dearie to the government requesting more time, Donald Trump’s attorneys spill the beans that the government may have recovered 200,000 pages of government documents during the August search of Donald Trump’s geriatric meeting venue and meatloaf emporium, Mar-a-Lago:

The problem is compounded by the fact that when Plaintiff’s counsel referred to either 11,000 pages or even 11,000 documents during the status conference (we are still awaiting the transcript), the Government chose not to interject with an accurate number.  In conversations between Plaintiff’s counsel and the Government regarding a data vendor, the Government mentioned that the 11,000 documents contain closer to 200,000 pages.

When Donald Trump made a trip to Japan in April 2019, a number of sources reported that he required a US Navy vessel, the USS John S. McCain, to cover up its name because Trump did not want to see the name of his political nemesis adorning a ship.  (The ship was originally named for the senator’s father and grandfather; the ship was rededicated in 2018 to add Senator McCain to the honor.)  The White House, in its inimitable way, whipped up its self-victimization machine to claim the Mainstream Media was targeting Trump to portray him as a sore loser and bitter, bitter man.

Well, guess what?  Trump *is* a sore loser and a bitter, bitter man.  Bloomberg reporter Jason Leopold had been pushing a FOIA request for information regarding the incident.  They were released today, and they included the line first reported by the Associated Press in 2018:  “USS John McCain needs to be out of sight.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s long-suffering cuck husband Perry Greene has apparently filed for divorce from his unfaithful conspiracy freak wife, per a screenshot of a petition filed Tuesday by Perry.

The rollout of the Sabadell, Spain TUS bus system’s new mascot, Bussi, was by all appearances a roaring success on Wednesday, as the people dancing along to the beat of the the route-mapped rabbit thing promotional character’s debut seemed to be genuinely having fun. Do we even have a Bussi-type character here in New York? No, those assholes doing their lame pole dances and then acting like they’re entitled to a buck for annoying the shit out of you on the subway don’t count. Why can’t we have a Bussi too? Why must Europe continue to put us to shame culturally?

Republican Ohio Congressional nominee J.R. Majewski was not permitted to reenlist in the Air Force after his four-year commitment was over likely because he was detained for drunk driving on a US military base in Japan, not because of a fight in an Air Force dorm as he has claimed, the Associated Press reports.

Majewski has been taking a lot of flak for lying about his military service:  he claimed to have been stationed in Afghanistan, but his military records show he was actually assigned to a supply base in Qatar.  Mejewski countered the report by claiming his duty billet was classified, posting travel orders for a TDY (Temporary Duty) assignment in South Korea as proof.

Documents reviewed by the Associated Press show Majewski was arrested days before the September 11, 2001 attacks in the United States, on September 8th, Majewski was caught at a gate to the Kadena Air Base on Okinawa driving a civilian car while drunk.  Show that Majewski was written up for the offense and demoted to the rank of E-2, one step above a recruit and the rank Majewski would hold for the last three years of his stint in the Air Force.

At least six people have been shot at an independent K-12 school in east Oakland, USA Today reports, with all six being transported to hospitals in unknown conditions.  The sheriff reports that there is no longer a threat, but the condition and identity of the shooter were not disclosed.

The shooting happened at a campus of buildings that house four independent schools, including Sojourner Truth Independent Study, BayTech Charter School, and Rudsdale Newcomer High School.  It is not clear if one school or one class was targeted.

Vertol Systems Company, the Oregon-based company Republican Florida Governor paid more than $1.5 million so far to traffick Venezuelan asylum seekers from Texas to Massachusetts, appears to have violated campaign finance laws by donating to Matt Gaetz and another Florida Republican candidate while it was a government contractor, reports Forbes.

In August 2016, Vertol got a four-year, $3.4 million Defense Department contract to train pilots.  Two weeks after getting the contract, the company gave $2,500 to a Florida PAC, North Florida Neighbors, affiliated with Republicans Matt Gaetz and Neal Dunn, who were running for office for the first time.  In March 2017, after Gaetz had won, the company gave the PAC an additional $5,000.

While the law at the time of the donations clearly blocks contractors from donating to campaigns, some other issues may prevent the company from ever seeing justice:  The Citizens United decision by the Supreme Court would likely void the prohibition, and the first donation has now fallen out of the statute of limitations.