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“… and the people of Martha’s Vineyard, who by the way, aren’t the fancy summering folks, it’s the real people who live there–the average median income in around $70,000; they’re a majority minority enclave except in the summer when a bunch of rich white people show up and, y’know, they ignore Alan Dershowitz,” token liberal-esque host of The Five Jessica Tarlov skewers, to which you hear Greg Gutfeld honk approvingly ’cause he got the joke for once.

Doug Ramsey, Chief Operating Officer of plant-based beef substitute producer Beyond Meat, was arrested in the parking garage of Razorback Stadium in Fayetteville, Arkansas late Saturday on charges of terroristic threatening and third-degree battery after he got into a brawl and bit off a piece of another man’s nose in the altercation, KNWA/Fox24 News reports.

Ramsey, who joined Beyond Meat in December of 2021 after three decades with poultry giant Tyson Foods, reportedly snapped when the driver of a Subaru made the slightest contact with his Ford Bronco as traffic was inching out of the stadium following the University of Arkansas Razorbacks’ 38 – 27 win over Missouri State University. He then stepped out, and possibly in a rage over being deprived of animal-based protein for over nine months, punched through the back window of the Subaru. The other driver got out, upon which Ramsey “pulled him in close and started punching his body,” per a police report, and “bit the owner’s nose, ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose.” The would-be cannibal is due in Fayetteville District Court on October 19.

A Baltimore judge threw out the murder conviction of Adnan Syed, the subject of the first season of the popular podcast “Serial,” determining the prosecution withheld key exculpatory evidence that may have swayed a jury, the Baltimore Banner reports.  Per the judge’s order, Syed will be immediately released from prison after 22 years.

Syed was convicted in 2000 for the murder of Hae Min Lee, his ex-girlfriend who was found buried, dead by strangulation, in a shallow grave in a city park.  Prosecutors withheld evidence that another man had threatened Lee’s life and there was a serial assaulter active in the neighborhood.

While they are quick to say the court’s reversal does not exonerate Syed, prosecutors must decide whether they want to re-charge Syed for the crime.

Disgraced former Trump has been telling his minions he’s angry with Florida governor Ron DeSantis for stealing “my idea” to send migrants north to Blue Cities, Rolling Stone reports on the latest bitching and moaning about the diminutive challenger to leadership of the MAGA Republican Party.

We will give this to Trump: It really was his idea. Like a lot of shit he said he wanted to do to migrants arriving over the Southern border, he never followed through, but in an April 2019 rally speech he confirmed to the crowd he had ordered the Department of Homeland Security to bus migrants to sanctuary cities. “Now we’re sending many of them to sanctuary cities. Thank you very much. They’re not too happy about it. I’m proud to tell you that was actually my sick idea,” said Trump at the time before the plan never materialized and was forgotten amid other insane shit he said and did. The other funny thing to note here is that Texas Governor Greg Abbott has been at this a lot longer than DeSantis, of course Trump never cared about him because he doesn’t feel threatened by a guy in a wheelchair or think he’s serious competition for the 2024 GOP nomination.

The Biden Administration made arrangements to free an American civil engineer being held by a Taliban-affiliated group since he was kidnapped in January 2020 in Afghanistan in exchange for an Afghan drug dealer, the Associated Press reports.

Sixty-year-old Mark Frerichs, a Navy veteran, had been working on civil engineering projects for a decade when he was summoned to a meeting in Kabul in January 2020, which was actually a set-up by the Taliban-affiliated Haqqani network to abduct him.  The Haqqani took him from Kabul to Khost, near the Pakistan border.

Frerichs was exchanged for Bashir Noorzai, a Taliban-connected heroin dealer who was serving the 17th year of a life sentence in US federal prison.  President Joe Biden essentially commuted Noorzai’s sentence into order to facilitate the trade and gain Frerichs’ freedom. 

The US Chamber of Commerce, once thick as thieves with the Republican Party, will find itself the target of multiple investigations from House GOP Committees should Team MAGA take the majority in retaliation for their support of the “ESG” or environmental, social, and governance investment sector, the Intercept reports. This is that “woke capital” shit you sometimes see the Republicans whining about without any real context applied to it. The other axe to grind is the Chamber’s support for Democrats in recent elections, endorsing 23 swing-district Dems in 2020.

Weeks after being fired for backing the wrong horse in a GOP primary, failed former Wisconsin Republican 2020 election “review” czar and ex-state Supreme Court Justice Michael Gableman called for violence against the government over Trump’s loss in to Joe Biden, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports on video obtained from a closed-door event by muckraker Lauren Windsor.

“Our comfort is holding us back from taking the action that is necessary. The greatest challenge of our poor in this country is not lack of food, it’s obesity,” said Gableman, who is obese, at a private dinner hosted by Outagamie County, Wisconsin GOP on September 9th. “It’s a beautiful world. But it’s that very comfort that is keeping us from what our founders knew to be the only way to keep an honest government, which is revolution. Thomas Jefferson said that the tree of liberty must be watered by the blood of revolution in every generation. I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

A Minnesota federal judge on Monday denied MyPillow assclown Mike Lindell’s motion to dismiss the defamation lawsuit brought in January 2022 by voting systems company Smartmatic over Lindell’s insane 2020 elections falsehoods, Politico reports. “Smartmatic has alleged sufficient facts to support its allegation that Lindell’s statements were false,” wrote US District Judge Wilhelmina Wright in the ruling, as if Lindell wasn’t already having a shitty month. Lindell is also the defendant in a $1.3 billion lawsuit brought by Dominion Voting Systems for the same reasons. Unlike Dominion, Smartmatic did not specify the damages they sought in their complaint against Lindell.

Plainly terrified of the very real possibility Dems could hold the House and expand their Senate majority in November, the Wall Street Journal’s far-right editorial board warned readers Monday the abolition of the Senate filibuster would do lasting damage to MAGAmerica’s fascist ambitions.

“The H.R.1 voting bill creates a federal right to mail ballots and overrides state laws banning ballot harvesting. It requires same-day voter registration and up to 15 days of early voting. House Democrats also passed H.R.4 that would require the Justice Department or D.C. district court to approve election-law changes in states and localities with a putative history of voting-rights violations. The Attorney General would have broad discretion, and you can bet GOP states will be the main targets as they were under Eric Holder before the Supreme Court voided pre-clearance in Shelby County v. Holder (2013),” wrote the Journal’s op-ed board, threatening democracy lovers with a good time. The board then continued with pants-pissing about increased corporate taxes, climate-focused legislation, and overriding Red State “right-to-work” laws.

“There’s much more we could include here, but you get the idea. If Democrats add seats in the Senate and hold the House, there won’t be much of a check on progressive ambitions. If they accomplish this with inflation at 8%, they will be even more emboldened. That is what’s really on the ballot in November,” the Journal concluded and by God may they be 100% right to panic.

A human trafficker named Perla lied to asylum seekers in Texas to get them on one of two planes flying to Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts paid for by taxpayers of Florida at the direction of Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, documents provided by the non-profit advocacy group Lawyers for Civil Rights shows.

As the pamphlet shown above depicts, the asylum seekers were told they would be given “refugee cash assistance,” “refugee employment services,” and various relocation services available to refugees once they reached Massachusetts.  These were all false promises primarily because the humans being trafficked by Perla, DeSantis and Republican Texas Governor Greg Abbott are not refugees; they’re asylum seekers.

1st case of monkeypox was registered in Ukraine. In patient’s own words, he didn’t contact anyone affected by disease & he didn’t travel abroad. So when & where did he manage to get monkeypox? Questions & concerns should arise as some US biolabs are still operational in Ukraine pic.twitter.com/PJvlugjQ1v

— Russian Embassy in South Africa 🇷🇺 (@EmbassyofRussia) September 19, 2022

“I’m a country boy. I’m not that smart. He’s a preacher. (Warnock) is smart and wears these nice suits. So, he is going to show up and embarrass me at the debate October 14th, and I’m just waiting to show up and I will do my best,” said brain-damaged Republican Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker at a press conference on Friday, acknowledging the grim expectations for how he’ll fare against the tenacious Dem incumbent. Give him points for trying the old “I’m just a hayseed and he’s this high-fallutin’ big fancy master’s degree-holdin’ sum’bitch.”

Would’ve been better to just not set a bar at all rather than setting a low one which he’ll still fail to clear. The only real question is how much damage Walker’s going to do to himself against Warnock and how much airtime the lowlights of his performance will will get. Georgia Democrats have a recent history of some pretty entertaining beatdowns during debates.

Rather than trying for some excuse like “they were Nazis and they deserved it” or “those people are actually Russians massacred by the Nazi Ukrainians,” the Kremlin on Monday simply went with “it’s a hoax” when addressing the discovery of mass graves of civilians massacred by the Russian army near the recently recaptured Northeastern Ukrainian city of Izium, the Moscow Times reports.

“It’s a lie and of course we’ll stand up for the truth in this entire story,” Kremlin spokesworm Dmitry Peskov told reporters Monday. “Kyiv is pushing the same scenario in Izyum as it did with the provocation in Bucha,” he continued referring to a massacre in the small village near Kyiv where in late March as many as 1,300 civilians were slaughtered by a Moscow-loyal Chechen militia.

Jury selection will begin Monday in the trial of Trump minion Tom Barrack on charges he illegally lobbied the Donald’s misadministration on behalf of the UAE, Reuters reports.

This is Linda Paulson, a Republican candidate for the 12 state senate district in Utah, and she’s got her fingers on the musical taste of her proposed constituency with this… um… rap (?) video.

The island commonwealth of Puerto Rico is without power after Hurricane Fiona made landfall, nearly five years to the day that Hurricane Maria slammed the island killing nearly 3,000 people, NBC News reports.

Fiona hit Puerto Rico with 85 mile per hour winds, knocking out electricity service to 1.5 million customers because the power grid wasn’t significantly improved after Maria hit in 2017. Democratic Governor Pedro Pierluisi said up to 13 inches of rain fell on the island in a five-hour period, causing significant urban flooding as well as flash flooding and landslides in the countryside.

President Joe Biden declared a state of emergency for the island Sunday, releasing federal funds to help the island recover.  The White House has not released plans for Biden to throw paper towels at islanders who need supplies, like his predecessor did, and it likely won’t.

It’s not totally clear from the video who that is on stage telling Republican Pennsylvania governor candidate and QAnon freak Doug Mastriano fans to “Put your right hand in the air… America will have a new birth of liberty,” but it’s undeniable that things got reich-y here.

“But is it a firm decision, that I will run again?  That remains to be seen,” President Joe Biden says during a “60 Minutes” interview.

Officials with to the Elkhart County, Indiana Sheriff’s Department have determined that the fatal head-on collision which last month killed Republican Congresswoman Jackie Walorski – one of the 139 House members who voted against certifying Joe Biden’s win in the 2020 election – was the fault of her aide Zach Potts, who was driving the Toyota RAV4, NPR reports.

Potts was trying to pass a slow-moving truck from the left, crossing into the opposite lane and gunning the engine up to 84 MPH when he collided with a car driven by Edith Schmucker. Potts, Walorski, communications director Emma Thomson, and Schmucker were all killed instantly. Walorski is the third Republican House member who voted against certifying fat former President Trump’s humiliating defeat to die in office since January 6, 2021, following Texas Congressman Ron Wright (COVID-19) and Minnesota Congressman Jim Hagedorn (brain cancer). We’re not going to say they somehow deserved to die for what they did, but it’s hard not think that way.

They were simply bad people and a disgrace to American democracy. The country is a better place without them. We feel bad for their families (and especially bad for the innocent woman who was just minding her own business and got killed probably because Walorski told the kid to speed up and pass the truck since she was running late for an event), sure, but really we’re not sad they and anyone else who would try to nullify the will of the American people are no longer among the living.