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A report from the Interior Department’s Inspector General released Wednesday revealed former Trump Interior Secretary and current Republican Montana Congressional candidate Ryan Zinke lied to investigators when questioned in 2018 about his handling of a deal between two Native American tribes to build a casino in Connecticut, the Washington Post reports. The Department of Justice already declined to go after Zinke for the lies last year, leaving them free to drop this report and try to fuck him over in the middle of a campaign to win back his old House seat.

Following the recount which he pissed away nearly $120,000 in credit card debt to pay for it, only to net a few dozen more votes in favor of banning abortion in the state on the August 2nd ballot measure in Kansas’s nine most populous counties, MAGA activist Mark Geitzen and pals are now going door-to-door to ask voters which side they picked, Bloomberg reports. It’s a tall order considering they lost by over 165,000 fucking votes, but that’s not stopping Team Geitzen from looking even more foolish and potentially finding themselves on the business end of a shotgun wielded by some unemployed libertarian who could mistake them for government agents.

That would be tragic – and ironic if this hypothetical armed and unmedicated hermit isn’t even registered to vote and wasn’t aware of the referendum. Even worse if the local district attorney declined to prosecute because Geitzen was technically trespassing when he approached the dilapidated trailer with no electricity or plumbing. Like at worst the hermit would get stuck with would be a summons for the weed plants the sheriff’s deputies saw when they came to escort the coroner to collect Geitzen’s remains after hours of negotiations. American Express and/or the other credit card companies would be out over $100,000 on Geitzen’s unpaid bill.

??? NATIONAL ZERO EXCLUSIVE – THEY WERE CAUGHT ??? EXPLOSIVE new revelations in a Monday Villages-News.com story about SEVENTEEN different gates being removed on Monday so non-Villages resident voters would be able to access polling locations reveals a RINO FRAUD against Laura Loomer! SHE DIDN’T LOSE IT WAS STOLEN! The Villages management KNEW non-residents would vote against Loomer because she speaks the TRUTH about the RINOS like woke loser DAN WEBSTER! They sent their MULES to remove the gates and lower the quality of the GOP primary voters! People who don’t pay as much attention to the real issues were allowed in to vote!

It’s the crime of the century! It’s GATEGATE! They hate Jews! Loomer is Jewish so the Villages management is ANTI-SEMITIC! They made it easy to vote and easier to cheat! FUCK!

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage now that we’ve tossed some red meat to our right wing readers. We hope they enjoyed this Gateway Pundit-style article.

This is news because on Wednesday President Dark Brandon will finally, officially use his scary glowing red laser eyes to vaporize $10,000 in student loan debt for borrowers earning less than $125,000 per year and extend the repayment freeze another four months, Bloomberg reports.

MAGA Pennsylvania Congressman Scott Perry on Wednesday sued to block the Department of Justice from accessing the content of his phone which was seized by FBI agents two weeks ago, Politico reports. It’s not clear why this dipshit waited 15 days to sue, as for all we know prosecutors have everything they need to nail him over his involvement in the failed Trump coup attempt.

Last night, I was swatted just after 1 am.

I can’t express enough gratitude to my local law enforcement here in Rome, Floyd County.

More details to come.

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) August 24, 2022

Swatting, which refers to the practice of calling the cops to someone’s home saying there’s a hostage situation or similar, is a common troll terrorism tactic, most frequently directed between gamers and at video game streamers, some have turned deadly. In 2017, Wichita, Kansas man Andrew Finch was shot and killed by police after Shane Gaskill, the teenage target of a swatting plot taunted his rival Casey Viner, of Ohio, by giving Viner his former address – Finch’s mother’s home. Viner then asked Los Angeles man Tyler Rai Barriss to place the call, telling Wichita cops and said there was hostage situation at the Finch house. Barriss later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. Viner and Gaskill also pleaded guilty, with Viner receiving 15 months in prison, while Gaskill is still awaiting sentencing. He faces up to 20 years in federal prison.

Fear not readers, for we possess the tools and the talent to make a photo of the Trump ladies safe for work and you may view this formerly lurid image of the ex-presidential daughters-in-law after voting in an excessively air conditioned precinct in the presence of coworkers. You’re welcome.

“On behalf of all Americans, I congratulate the people of Ukraine on their Independence Day. Over the past six months, Ukrainians have inspired the world with their extraordinary courage and dedication to freedom. They have stood resolute and strong in the face of Russia’s full scale invasion of Ukraine. And today is not only a celebration of the past, but a resounding affirmation that Ukraine proudly remains – and will remain – a sovereign and independent nation.”

“The United States of America is committed to supporting the people of Ukraine as they continue the fight to defend their sovereignty. As part of that commitment, I am proud to announce our biggest tranche of security assistance to date: approximately $2.98 billion of weapons and equipment to be provided through the Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative. This will allow Ukraine to acquire air defense systems, artillery systems and munitions, counter-unmanned aerial systems, and radars to ensure it can continue to defend itself over the long term,” says President Biden in a statement of solidarity with the glorious defenders of Ukraine against the savvy genius.

According to a tally by Media Matters’ Alex Kaplan, of the nine Florida Republican US House primary candidates he and the team at the lefty non-profit news org identified as QAnon fans, only one – Carla Spalding in FL-25 – advanced to the general election on Tuesday, with the rest being defeated by “RINO” Republicans. We guess this is good news for the GOP amid an overall increasingly less assured path to the majority in the House given the surprise Dem win in NY-19, but then again it’s Florida and most if not all of the freaks probably would’ve won anyway.

Tonight the Swamp won (with a $1.6 million dollar influx of fake news pieces in the last 14 days)

Yet—I will never stop fighting for the America First movement

Proud of the work Team Sabatini put into this & my family for their support!

This is just the beginning—stay tuned 🇺🇸

— Anthony Sabatini (@AnthonySabatini) August 24, 2022

Thailand’s highest court took Prime Minister Prayut Chan-O-Cha out behind the woodshed on Wednesday, disciplining him for fucking around and trying to stay in office past his eight year maximum term, the AFP reports. Prayut is suspended from office until he behaves.

“I’d feel a lot better if people like Lauren Boebert were able to carry a firearm inside the Capitol.  Maybe that would keep us all more secure even than the Capitol Police,” Max Headroom cosplayer and accused child sex trafficker Matt Gaetz says without an iota of self-awareness that his scrawny white ass was saved by those Capitol Police officers.  “Back the Blue” my Aunt Fanny.

The Democratic candidate triumphed in a much-watched special election for a bellwether New York Congressional seat, signaling that Republican plans to take over Congress in the midterms might just be a pipe dream.

In the special election for the New York 19th seat, Democrat Pat Ryan defeated Republican Marc Molinaro by a two percentage point margin.  The race is the last special election pitting the two Parties against one another, and pundits saw this swing district as an omen for the upcoming midterms.

With Democrat Ryan taking the race, pundits will now question the long-accepted narrative that Republicans will make major pick-ups in the midterms.

You may remember Tina Forte, a social media phenomenon known for her foul mouth and over-the-top New Yawk accent who propagates QAnon conspiracy theories?  Well now, she’s been legitimized by the GOP by winning the Republican nomination for New York’s 14th Congressional District.

Her opponent?  Highly-popular incumbent Democrat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who has more than just a massive social media presence; she also has policies people like, so it’s not really at risk.  But can you imagine the candidates’ debate?

We know Donald Trump is having a hard time finding lawyers, but hiring one because he shows up on a conference call you’re participating in seems to be a bit dodgy.  The snippet above, from a lengthy Washington Post piece outlining the extraordinary efforts federal officials took to reacquire government documents from Trump–virtually bending over backwards to accommodate his quirks–before turning to the court to get a search-and-seizure warrant to recover the information.

Shanty trash Democrat New York Congressman Sean Patrick Maloney defeated AOC-style lefty challenger Alessandra Biaggi in a semi-hyped primary in the state’s suburban-subrural-subsuburban Hudson Valley-area 17th district, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

Some of the other political sites are calling it a win for moderates over leftists, but we say its a win for a mick over an eye-tie broad. But second still ain’t bad – hell the Krauts and Polacks didn’t even field candidates. The other Maloney down in Manhattan lost her primary to a Tribesman though.

I’m never embarrassed to report facts. And I don’t really think I have to weigh the opinion of a lawyer who disrespectfully calls people “dude” and brags on his Twitter handle that he is “above the law” https://t.co/frKlEqbl30

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) August 24, 2022

Yeah, context is important and surely can be found by clicking through on this thread. But such moments can also be appreciated on their own, a man starting to crack under the immense pressure of maintaining his own warped sense of “integrity” while also pleasing a maniacal tyrant, an apparently accelerating breakdown playing out publicly for the enjoyment of all.

NBC News has called the Democratic primary for New York’s 12th Congressional District for one of two incumbents in the race:  Congressman Jerry Nadler.  He defeated Carolyn Maloney, who had represented the district since it was redrawn in 2012.  Maloney is the chair of the House Oversight Committee.

Total asshole Republican Oklahoma Congressman Mark Wayne “MarkWayne” Mullin on Tuesday won the runoff for the Senate seat being vacated by retiring Senator Old Conservative Bastard whatever his stupid name is. Can’t be any dumber than “MarkWayne” that’s for sure. Besides having an obnoxiously concatenated first name, Mullin is famous for his stupid bullshit resolutions to meaninglessly “expunge” both of Trump’s impeachments in the House.

White nationalist and conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer has lost her primary to incumbent Daniel Webster in a Republican primary race for Florida’s 11th Congressional District that turned out to be closer than many expected, as a late surge of votes from Orange County put Webster over the edge.

Loomer, who proudly calls herself an Islamophobe, has 44.5% of the vote with 95% of districts reporting.  Webster will finish with around 50.7% of the vote.  Loomer has no political experience except to be a performance artist who focuses on her personal self-aggrievements, so she would have fit in perfectly with the GOP House caucus.