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Cheerio guvs! National Zero is covering our bloody first ever Limey Prime Minister’s Questions livestream whilst knackered clunge Boris Johnson faces some serious fucking wobbly from his own party for ignoring credible reports of that “poof” MP Chris Pincher getting all wankered on Scotch and sexually assaulting other blokes. Tis quite a row, so let’s crack on with the PMQs all right!

Process servers for Trump’s lawyers representing the disgraced fat former president in his moronic lawsuit against Hillary Clinton and dozens of other defendants over the 2016 election and the Russia probe have been unable to find former FBI officials Lisa Page and Peter Strzok, having failed six times since the lawsuit was filed in March to locate the two “lovers,” Insider reports.

Even dumber is the fact that the notoriously incompetent MAGA lawyers Alina Habba and Peter Ticktin know full well where the two of them live and work, having repeatedly failed to properly redact Strzok and Page’s home addresses in filings. “I don’t know why they haven’t served me. I don’t know if they’re not serious. I don’t know if it’s incompetence. I don’t know if they’re playing games. I just don’t know – but of course, with Trump, it could be all of those things,” Strzok told Insider, adding that he also works at CNN and can be regularly found at their DC studio.

Recognizing the damage it has wrought on their party and their Orange God Emperor, House Republicans are well into the planning stages of a time-wasting and pointless investigation of the investigation of the Capitol riot should they take majority in November, Axios reports. “When Republicans retake the majority, we will exercise our oversight responsibilities including subpoena authority to review all transcripts and information that the committee has access to in order to identify the truth,” said some anonymous GOP douchebag to Axios.

Remember Bill O’Reilly?  Yeah, I wish I didn’t either, but we all have our crosses to bear.  Retirement’s been good to him, it seems.  He’s got a new backdrop for his basement studio.  He had that moderately-attended tour with the most reviled former president in history.  That sign that tallies days since the last sexual harassment suit is all the way up to triple digits.  And those manufactured anger management classes seem to be working well, as we can see here:

But you, J.B., are not gonna stop loons, a-and you won’t stop crime, drug crime, drug gangs because they’re minority gangs.  That’s why you won’t stop ’em.  You phony.  You! aid and abet this murder in Chicago every blankin’ day.  You!  Don’t be sanctimonious with me

“You have free speech when you can say something that most people consider offensive or outrageous, a view that is held by very few people and not be punished for saying it,” Fox host and man who continues on his Tour du Tyrrants Tucker Carlson claims, wrongly.  “That’s what free speech is.”

No, Tuckums, that’s not what free speech is.  Free speech, in the Constitutional sense, is the ability to speak freely without censorship from the government.  You can still be punished for it if people, say, stop buying advertising on your show because protesters organized effective boycotts or you get harassed when you go out to dinner at a restaurant by people who think you’re a lying fascist determined to bring down the nation.

Many of the executive actions taken by Donald Trump and his administration to rollback the effectiveness of the Endangered Species Act and other wildlife protection laws were nullified by a federal court judge Tuesday, NBC News reports.

The Biden Administration has been reviewing the actions taken by Trump, moving to rescind particularly heinous ones first, but pulling Trump policies that sacrificed wildlife habitat for business interests.  The Biden Administration has identified 150 such regulations to target.

Many of the questionable regulations fall under the purview of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and National Marine Fisheries Service, relating to protected lands and waters for endangered and other protected species.  USFWS has already reinstated what’s known as the “blanket protection” rule, which automatically protects the lands of newly-designated protected species.

Hey, remember coronavirus, that pesky little infection that’s caused the death of 6.3 million worldwide, with the US of A leading the way with more than a million fatalities in the greatest freakin’ nation on EARTH?  (U-S-A!  U-S-A!)  Well, it’s still out there, and its latest remix has hit the top of the charts!

According to the Washington Post, the omicron subvariant BA.5 is now the dominant variant, accounting for 52% of the new infections in the US.  While the number of new cases reported daily has dropped significantly since the pandemic’s peak in January, the virus is still active and spreading.

The United States’ recent case numbers have plateaued in the last couple weeks at around 105,000 cases for a 7-day running average, about half that during the initial peak in December 2020.  The number of fatalities has also held steady at around 300 per day as the 7-day running average since mid-May.

Well guess his writers didn’t think the “too many doors” shit was going to fly this time. And that attempt to say Bobby Crimo is secretly Antifa already crashed and burned. So why not blame psychiatric drugs this time? Might as well get probably literally tens of thousands Fox News watching parents to flush all their kids’ prescribed meds down the toilet immediately and invite fuck knows what kind of unintended consequences upon families and communities nationwide. Anything to worsen the nationwide malaise Republicans said was to blame for the last slaughter of innocent people by an angry armed young man who had no business owning a gun.

At the halfway mark of the year, the United States recorded its 300th mass shooting of 2022, a lower pace than the previous year but still shockingly quick historically, according to data collected by the Washington Post.

The 300th mass shooting happened on Friday, July 1st, the first day of the July 4th holiday weekend, by the end of which the nation had risen to 314.  In 2021, the nation had 338 through July 4th, seventy-two more than the previous year.  Through July 4th this year, mass shootings have killed 334 and wounded another 1,391.

A mass shooting is defined as a shooting in which four or more, not including the shooter, are killed or wounded.  In 2014, the US saw 121 mass shooting through July 4th, but the pace has increased steadily since.

Former Trump White House Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Matthews will testify publicly next week to the House January 6th Select Committee, CNN reports. It’s not confirmed if she’ll be up during the Tuesday, July 12th hearing announced earlier this Tuesday, so this could mean a second hearing will happen next week – probably on Thursday, July 14th going by past patterns. Matthews resigned from her job amid a larger exodus on the night of January 6th, 2021, saying she “was deeply disturbed by what I saw” and “Our nation needs a peaceful transfer of power.”

Holy shit. The balls on this guy relative to American Republicans. Even more amazing is Boris Johnson hasn’t threatened to recruit some Neo-Nazi QAnon podcaster Evangelical preacher to primary him from the right for being a stone cold loser TINO and so disloyal to Britain First.

We have to admit this Pinchy scandal has been quite the surprise sleeper hit, having thought it was just another line on the growing list of degenerate criminal shit we’ve reported here for an occasional dark laugh at Perfidious Albion’s counterpart to the GOP. If it was going to be anything that could’ve actually toppled Boris Johnson’s premiership – and it’s apparently really fucking close to happening now – we definitely would’ve guessed it was the still-unidentified Tory MP arrested for rape in May. A “poof” getting shitfaced and groping other grown men seems relatively tame in comparison. But hey, if it sets back Conservative tossers anywhere we’ll take it.

NEXT HEARING: Tuesday, July 12th at 10:00am ET

— January 6th Committee (@January6thCmte) July 5, 2022

Highland Park MAGA incel and shitty white rapper Bobby Crimo had some past contact with law enforcement over his violent threats to himself and others, per Lake County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Chris Covelli, and still was able to purchase an AR-15 legally. In April 2019, cops visited Crimo a week after he attempted suicide, but did not take action as it was a mental health matter. In September of that year, a relative reported Crimo said “he was going to kill everyone.” Cops responded and confiscated his blade collection – taking 18 knives, a dagger and a sword from the home. There was no probable cause found to effect an arrest, Covelli told reporters Tuesday.

Separately, a local rabbi told USA Today that Crimo was escorted out of his synagogue’s Passover service by armed guards in April, not hard to imagine he was casing the place and shifted targets knowing he would be faced with actual good guys with guns. Also a seventh victim died Tuesday of wounds sustained in Crimo’s rampage with his patriotic self-defense weapon.

About 50,000 people in Sydney, Australia were evacuated from their homes over the weekend as a massive rainstorm, which was very wet in terms of water, dumped more than four inches of rain on the region in just two days, the BBC reports.

Areas around the capital have seen their roadways turned into rivers, with the only way to navigate the streets being by boat, not car.  It’s the second time since March that residents were evacuated; in February, Sydney got more than 10 inches of rainfall in three days.  The average annual rainfall in Sydney is about 36 inches.  This all happens about a year after massive wildfires swept through the nation.

.@EricSwalwell, give it up creep.

Did Fang Fang block you on WeChat?

You can't date me. https://t.co/ajBTJS3ZNm

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) July 5, 2022

The grand jury empaneled by Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis to investigate Trump and his minions’ 2020 coup attempt in the state has subpoenaed Senator Lindsey Graham, alcoholic moron Rudy Giuliani, and assclown MAGA lawyers Jenna Ellis, Kenny Chesebro, John Eastman, and Cleta Mitchell on Tuesday, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.

On Monday, Donald Trump was at it again, claiming that he was prevented from deploying the DC National Guard to protect the Capitol from the domestic terrorist attack on January 6th because some Democrat–House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer or even DC Mayor Muriel Bowser–blocked his order.

“How can I be guilty of a crime when I’m the one who wanted to stop the so-called ‘crime’ by strongly recommending 10,000 plus troops to D.C., and hence the surrounding of the Capitol, only to have this recommendation rejected by Pelosi and the Mayor of D.C., who are in charge of Capitol security?” Trump “truthed” to his thousands of followers on his failing privately-owned social media site.

As with the majority of Trump’s statements, this is a blatant lie.  Pelosi, Schumer and Bowser had no authority to call up the DC National Guard.  As a federal jurisdiction, DC is the only government that does not have a governmental executive that can activate the Guard; only the President has the authority to call up the DC National Guard.  In other states–and even US territories–the governor controls when the Guard gets called up, but DC has no governor–only a mayor–whose powers are limited by Congress, and those powers do not include commanding the National Guard unit from the District. (A curious quirk of DC organizational law prevents the DC Mayor from calling up the DC National Guard, but it doesn’t prevent the Mayor from asking for assistance from other states’ Guard units by asking their governors to activate them, hence Bowser requesting aid from Virginia and Maryland on January 6th.)

Two key allies of embattled UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson have resigned their posts in his Cabinet in an additional sign of unrest in the administration that could lead to a no-confidence vote in the coming weeks, CNN reports.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Rishi Sunak (effectively the UK’s version of the Treasury Secretary) and Health Secretary Sajid Javid announced Tuesday that they are resigning their positions in the government.  Johnson has been mired in a series of scandals from having lavish parties at his official residence and for covering up serious accusations against other high level members of his administration.

“To leave ministerial office is a serious matter at any time,” Sunak wrote in his resignation letter which he posted to Twitter.  “For me to step down as Chancellor while the world is suffering the economic consequences of the pandemic, the war in Ukraine and other serious challenges is a decision I have not taken lightly.  However, the public rightly expect government to be conducted properly, competently and seriously.  I recognise this may be my last ministerial job, but I believe these standards are worth fighting for and that is why I am resigning.”

Illinois law enforcement officials said at a Tuesday press conference that Highland Park MAGA terrorist and shitty white rapper Bobby Crimo used a legally purchased AR-15 assault rifle to kill six people and injure dozens more at the town’s 4th of July parade Monday, NBC’s Tom Winter reports. The Trump fan also dressed in women’s clothing to flee the scene of the attack, said Lake County Sheriff’s office spokesman Chris Covelli, who added that cops have not discerned a motive yet, but are continuing to examine his social media activity for clues.

The monthly Monmouth poll survey puts Democrats and Republicans tied at 47% on the “Would you rather see the Republicans or the Democrats in control of Congress, or this doesn’t matter to you?” question. Last month’s survey found Republicans ahead of Dems 48 to 44.

So it’s technically not a “generic ballot” question, rather a “Who do you prefer?” one. Don’t let that stop the “BuT tHeIrs No sUcH thINg aS a gEnerIc cAnDIdaTe” comments though. Those are really entertaining and an important part of the discourse of every article about the national polling for Congress, so please keep ’em coming. We love that kind of contribution here.

The fact that pretty much every other question on the poll was shit for Dems should lend it some credibility: Biden approval at 36%, inflation biggest concern at 33% – followed by gas prices (15%), the economy (9%), “Everyday bills, groceries, etc” (6%), 66% saying the nation is on the wrong track, so on and so forth and STILL the Dems and GOP are tied on the Congress question. So for all the “headwinds” both Democrat doomers and Trump fanboys alike harp on continually, here’s one with a shit ton of them only to see midterm preference break even. You can argue one pollster is more reliable than another, or even say one respondent sample might be a “blip” versus the another sample from the same pollster, but you’re going to need to put on your obtuse basement dweller hat and think extra hard to explain away how within the same sample the Dems and Republicans are tied for Congress while Biden’s approval is also 4 points worse than in fucking Rasmussen.