Category: Uncategorized

Georgia Governor Brian “Ku Klux” Kemp leads Trump-endorsed former Senator David “Chickenshit” Perdue by a staggering 32 points in a Fox News poll of the GOP electorate in the Peach State, the latest sign that the Orange God Emperor is headed for his most crushing defeat on his little endorsement checkerboard yet. Maybe next time don’t endorse some cowardly dipshit who didn’t even show up to a debate against his 33 year old opponent in his last statewide election.

The situation is reversed on the Senate side however, as the Fox News survey finds fucking maniac idiot former NFL player Herschel Walker (who we’re pretty sure actually lives in Texas), ahead of his nearest opponent, Gary Black, in that GOP primary race by a staggering 66 to 8.

UK Ministry of Defence Intel Bulletin: “In recent weeks, Russia has fired senior commanders who are considered to have performed poorly during the opening stages of its invasion of Ukraine… Lieutenant General Serhiy Kisel, who commanded the elite 1st Guards Tank Army, has been suspended for his failure to capture Kharkiv… Vice Admiral Igor Osipov, who commanded Russia’s Black Sea Fleet, has also likely been suspended following the sinking of the cruiser Moskva in April… Russian Chief of the General Staff Valeriy Gerasimov likely remains in post, but it is unclear whether he retains the confidence of President Putin… A culture of cover-ups and scape-goating is probably prevalent within the Russian military and security system.”

“Many officials involved in the invasion of Ukraine will likely be increasingly distracted by efforts to avoid personal culpability for operational set-backs… This will likely place further strain on Russia’s centralised model of command and control, as officers increasingly seek to defer key decisions to their superiors. It will be difficult for Russia to regain the initiative under these conditions.”

I can confirm I am at home self-isolating after testing positive for COVID.

I thank all of those people who have sent their well wishes, and I look forward to disappointing all of those who hope that I drop dead. -PH pic.twitter.com/ZmVpCyBjUk

— Pauline Hanson 🇦🇺 (@PaulineHansonOz) May 19, 2022

You experienced it tonight:  the bunch of lonely, basement-dwelling boys who frequent a Trump-loving website called ch00ch00-news which seems to be a place where about eleven people regularly frequent.  On one of their threads, they decided to do what one of them called a “troll bomb” on NatZero.

What’s so cute about it is that they think they’re a bunch of bad asses because they use the f-word, and that using it is some big fucking badge of honor, like the little fuckers aren’t allowed to use the fucking thing.  They’re rolling over themselves cracking up about bad behavior and worse jokes.

Apparently, this ch00ch00 person thinks she’s some kind of rebel because FUCK YEAH!  Seriously, it’s like they’re the Little Rascals thinking they’re the funniest people on Earth because they put a bag of dog poop on Old Man Schultz’s porch… ‘cause nobody’s ever done that before!  Hardy Har Har!

The group who successfully got Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani disbarred for spreading disinformation is now targeting Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) for his effort to undermine the results of the 2020 election, the New York Times reports.

“Mr. Cruz played a leading role in the effort to overturn the 2020 elections. And while the same can be said about several other elected officials, Mr. Cruz’s involvement was manifestly different,” the complaint filed by The 65 Project asserts.

The complaint goes on to cite Cruz’s support and signing on to two lawsuits related to negating the results of the election in Pennsylvania, including agreeing to represent Donald Trump and the Pennsylvania GOP in suits before the Supreme Court.  Cruz’s clients lost both cases.

“In contrast, Russian elections are rigged.  Political opponents are imprisoned or otherwise eliminated from participating in the electoral process.  The result is an absence of checks and balances and the decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq. I mean of Ukraine.  Iraq, too.  Anyway.  [audience laughter]. 75.”

Yes, W did say “75” for some reason at the end.  And why is the audience laughing at the fact that this man just joshed about unilaterally decided to invade a country, costing thousands of American lives, tens of thousands of our soldiers’ time and blood, and hundreds of thousands of innocent lives.

The usual crew of assholes – Lauren Boebert, Marjie Greene, Pedo Gaetz, Chip Roy, Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, Louie Gohmert, Tom Massie, and Something Higgins – voted against a bill to fund speeding up production of baby formula, per CNN Congressional reporter Kristin Wilson.

A New York state court will decide if an elephant in the Bronx Zoo has rights as a person as is advocated by an animal rights group in a lawsuit concerning the elephant’s enclosure, the Washington Post reports.

The Nonhuman Rights Project has argued that Happy the Elephant is an autonomous, intelligent being that is being confined illegally at the zoo.  They argue that the enclosure is essentially a prison and Happy has been illegally jailed.

“What we’re saying is that she has a right to bodily liberty and that that makes her no longer a thing,” Steven Wise, president of the Nonhuman Rights Project, said in an interview. “She’s a person.”

The Democratic-led Kansas Supreme Court removed a lower court injunction putting a hold on implementing a 2022 Congressional redistricting map that would eliminate the single Democratic representing the state in Congress, Roll Call reports.

In a short notice of finding, the court said the plaintiffs in the case did not prove their case that the map violates the Kansas constitution, which prohibits intentionally weakening minority representation as well as partisan gerrymandering.

The new map splits the Third Congressional District, removing the northern section of Kansas City and replaces it with overwhelmingly white areas to the southeast.  Currently in the House for Kansas, there are three Republicans with Democratic Congresswoman Sharice Davids, the Third’s representative.

President Joe Biden has invoked the Defense Production Act that will allow him to take direct action to speed the importation and manufacture of baby formula in the United States to alleviate the shortage caused by the shutdown of a plant in Michigan due to concerns about a bacterial infection, the Associated Press reports.

The Food and Drug Administration has enacted a streamlined review process that would allow it to approve foreign-made formula to be imported, and the Biden administration is removing tariffs and other financial penalties instituted by the previous administration during its trade war to make the products affordable.

Biden can also order commercial flights by US-based airlines to carry shipments of baby formula from foreign ports to speed delivery, bypassing traditional shipping routes.

The return of the “People’s Convoy” to Washington DC has so far been going just as ineffectively as the first attempt to shut down the nation’s capital as the Clustertruckers found themselves once again stuck in afternoon traffic, circling the Beltway once without exiting the highway onto DC surface roads, and returning to their forward base at an abandoned racetrack in Hagerstown, Maryland 70 miles northwest of the city, the Daily Beast’s Zach Petrizzo reports.

The second try at causing chaos on the scale of their Canadian brethren in Ottawa last winter has also been marred by defections with top streamer “Sansak” departing for home and leader Dave Riddell claiming DC Metro Police threatening to seize his commercial driver’s license.

National Zero was unable to confirm any of this information as the Telegram channel for the People’s Convoy is swamped with unrelated MAGA bullshit like “Several clerks working inside the Supreme Court have confirmed that the Justices will be hearing the case to reinstate President Trump to his rightful place in the White House,” and a pirated copy of Dinesh D’Souza’s fake 2020 election documentary, “2000 Mules” available in an embedded video feed, no download required.

The South Dakota state Senate’s Government Operations and Audit Committee released a report Tuesday finding that former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski’s ex-girlfriend’s daughter got preferential treatment in acquiring her real estate appraisal license after her mom intervened, despite having failed the exam twice, Dakota News Now reports.

“For 10 years I have been working to fix the broken appraiser program in South Dakota,” Corey Lewandowski’s ex-girlfriend said in a statement to Dakota News Now. “I introduced legislation when I was in Congress, and I continued to address our appraiser shortage issue as Governor. Kassidy followed the same process as other applicants did to obtain her license. She did not receive preferential treatment. And the legislature found no wrongdoing in their review, which concluded in December.” Corey Lewandowski’s ex-girlfriend’s daughter quit the real estate appraisal business shortly after the scandal erupted, which kind of shows a consciousness of guilt. Sort of like when Corey Lewandowski’s ex-girlfriend denied dating him and claimed she loves her husband instead of ignoring the scurrilous gossip that trashy sites like National Zero traffic in.

I’m sure it’s a hard day for Chip Roy, the Republican Texas Congressman who rolled in many of the same circles as lame duck North Carolina Republican Madison Cawthorn, who lost his primary yesterday and won’t be seated in the next Congress.  And just like a good white “christian” conservative male would do, he takes his frustrations out on women, interrupting them and making it impossible for them to answer the questions he’s asking.  (It’s also a bonus for him that he can do this to women of color in public.)  But in this case, one of them doesn’t take his dismissive attitude and insists on Roy addressing her by her proper title:  Doctor.

And Roy doesn’t let facts get in the way of a good narrative:  four million people have not migrated to Texas in the last ten years, as he claims.  The actual stat is, Texas has experienced a net growth in population in the last decade, about a 16% growth, versus the US’s 7% growth over the same time.  Most of that growth is due to a higher birth rate than the rest of the country, largely within the Hispanic community.  The actual figure, according to Texas Realtors, is Texas gained a migratory net 100,000 people per year over that time, with half a million people moving into Texas each year, and 400,000 moving out.

The Department of Homeland Security’s planned anti-misinformation board has been mothballed pending a 75 day review by former DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff and former Deputy AG Jamie Gorelick, the Wall Street Journal reports. The MAGA kids freaked out about it a few weeks ago, calling it the “Ministry of Truth” and acting like it had operational power to enforce nonexistent laws against lying pieces of shit like Jim Jordan and Lauren Boebert, when in reality it was just meant as body to fact check specifc lies being broadcast by right wing media and Russian propagandists with regard to vital interests like elections and border security. “It is deeply disappointing that mischaracterizations of the board became a distraction from the department’s vital work, and indeed, along with recent events globally and nationally, embodies why it is necessary. I maintain my commitment to building awareness of disinformation’s threats and trust the department will do the same,” said disinfo researcher Nina Jancowicz, who had been brough in to lead the effort.

Iconic American human trafficking organization Ringling Bros and Barnum and Bailey Circus will make its return in 2023 as a traveling destination for children who ran away from home to join them after a six year hiatus, NBC Bay Area reports. The official story is that animal rights organizations had chased them out of business – and indeed the new retooled version will feature human performers only, no more clowns getting bitten in the neck by angry lions or stomped by elephants – but to keep our right wing readers engaged we have to allude to some QAnon conspiracy in the headline and then hope they miss this part. Something something the circus kidnaps children and forces them to become acrobats which rhymes with Democrats and then adrenochrome something something… Anyway the Ringling Bros and Barnum and Bailey circus is coming back next year.

Barbaric white nationalist hell pig Congressowman Elise Stefanik announced Wednesday she’s joining fanboy Oklahoma Congressman Mark Wayne “Markwayne” Mullin’s batshit stupid effort to “expunge” the historic second impeachment of fat former President Trump, Fox News reports.

“The American people know Democrats weaponized the power of impeachment against President Donald Trump to advance their own extreme political agenda,” Stefanik told Fox News, adding, “From the beginning of this sham process, I stood up against Nancy Pelosi’s blatant attempt to shred the Constitution as House Democrats ignored precedent and failed to follow the legislative process. But President Donald Trump was rightfully acquitted, and it is past time to expunge Democrats’ sham smear against not only President Trump’s name, but against millions of patriots across the country,” her attention obviously having moved on from demanding that brown babies starve and how she’s the real victim of the MAGA terrorist attack that killed 10 innocent people.

A Henderson, Nevada patriot identified only as “Chris” claims his homeowners association bylaws written by and for non-Hispanic Caucasians are now violating his free speech, KVVU reports. Chris was shocked to learn from a Central Park Estates HOA attorney that the bylaws written for those queer rainbow flags – and probably the ones with the blue Jew stars on them too – also applied to his “Let’s Go Brandon” flags and bumper sticker. “They said I had to take it down because it was a sign or a billboard. It makes me feel upset. I am a veteran. I did take an oath to this country. I believe freedom of speech should be everywhere,” said the man who by all available information did freely and willingly choose to live in a place likely designed to prevent Blacks from moving in.

“It doesn’t matter what your opinion is. Everyone should be able to express it without somebody getting upset,” added the man who probably gets visibly enraged at the mere suggestion that Critical Race Theory isn’t actually being taught in public K-12 schools. “I am hoping they understand it is freedom of speech and they let me put it back on,” Chris said wistfully.

Declaring victory in Pennsylvania on the Wednesday after election day definitely worked out great for Trump. He didn’t actually win the state but it helped him at least temporarily feel like he was in control of the situation – when he most certainly was not. Part of winning is telling yourself and everyone else that you did win, whether or not it is true. That in itself is kind of a victory, and an important building block for later denying the reality that you in fact lost. Denial is an extremely valuable skill for coping with loss and preserving one’s self-esteem.

Citing their support for Kurds, Turkey has blocked fast-tracking NATO membership votes for Finland and Sweden, who seek to join the alliance to protect against potential aggression from Russia, the New York Times reports.

Turkey has accused Finland and Sweden of supporting Kurdish “terrorists” who seek autonomy for their traditional lands, which encompasses parts of Turkey, Iraq, Syria and Iran.  The independence of the Kurds has been an issue in the region for centuries.

“It wouldn’t be wrong to say that we are bittersweet watching the solidarity and cooperation in the region, the sources used, the arms opened, the tolerance shown,” President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said in address to the Turkish parliament. “Because we, as a NATO ally who struggled with terror for years, whose borders were harassed, big conflicts occurred just next door, have never seen such a picture.”