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This is a National Zero Special Bulletin. The following Americans have been identified as “groomers” as in persons who have knowingly engaged in sexual relations with underage or near-underage persons and/or have been caught in possession of child pornography. Avoid them at all costs.

JOSH DUGGAR
Conservative Christian. Wanted to run for office as a Republican before arrest and conviction on federal charges of possession of child pornography. Incarcerated until we don’t know but it’ll be a shit ton of time in the tombs.

MARK FOLEY
Conservative former Florida Congressman, resigned in disgrace in 2006 after he was caught drunkenly trying to break into a dorm housing underage boys who worked as congressional pages and sending them sexually explicit texts. Still donates to GOP-aligned causes and Republican candidates in Florida.

DENNIS HASTERT
Republican former Speaker of the US House of Representatives, served from 1999 to 2007. Pleaded guilty in 2015 of molesting four high school boys he had coached on a wrestling team in the 1970s.

JOHN ROSE
Current Republican Tennessee Congressman who allegedly started dating his now-wife Chelsea when she was 16 and he was about 40 or 41. Definitely married her while she was still in college. They met when Rose was the Vice Chairman of the Future Farmers of America youth organizations Tennessee chapter and Chelsea was a participant. Rose voted against certifying the 2020 election and also voted against awarding the Congressional Gold Medal to the US Capitol Police after the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection.

JIM JORDAN
Notorious fucking prick Republican Congressman from Ohio, unaffectionately nicknamed “Gym Jordan” over credible accusations of purposely ignoring sexual abuse of wrestlers by the team doctor on the Ohio State University wrestling program, on which Jordan was an assistant coach in the late 1980s/early 1990s.

Read More ▶ “National Zero Special Report: Groomers on the loose!!!”

The bride and the caterer she hired for her celebration have been arrested and charged with two felonies after getting the guests at the bride’s wedding stoned by serving them cannabis-infused food at the reception, the New York Times reports.

After the meal celebrating Andrew and Danya Svoboda’s nuptials, the guests started feeling various things:  an uncle of the groom started feeling his heart racing.  Others felt nauseated; one woman thought her heart was stopping.

When asked by a guest if she had spiked the olive oil put on guests tables to dip bread, Danya Svoboda nodded and giggled.  But the laughing (mostly) stopped when one of the guests needed an ambulance.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy was so livid with Donald Trump in the wake of the January 6th domestic terrorist attack at the Capitol that he was going to confront Trump and recommend he resign from office.

And according to the New York Times, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell voiced his displeasure with Trump, but was happy the Democrats were in charge and would impeach him.  “The Democrats are going to take care of the son of a bitch for us,” McConnell said to two close friends while eating Chik-fil-A in a friend’s Kentucky office.

The complete report by the Times lays out the anger–and patriotism–of Republican leaders who would act in the interest of the nation.  But they are now going to ride his coattails–his angry, angry coattails.

A federal judge blocked from going into effect a new Kentucky state law that was so obtrusive it effectively banned all abortions in the state, the Associated Press reports.

U.S. District Judge Rebecca Grady Jennings ruled that the state had not issued clear guidelines on what was needed to constitute a legal abortion or about new paperwork the law required.  Because of that, the law made it impossible to comply with itself, so the law could only be in force when the state issues those cited guidelines.  Jennings, who was a Trump appointee, did not block the law from being enacted after guidelines are issued.

In the meantime, the two abortion clinics in the state will reopen their doors when the rules go through the state legislative process and future legal challenges.  “This is a win, but it is only the first step,” said Rebecca Gibron, the CEO for Planned Parenthood in Kentucky, where its clinic is immediately resuming abortion services. “We’re prepared to fight for our patients’ right to basic health in court and to continue doing everything in our power in ensure abortion access is permanently secured in Kentucky.”

“Were they thinkin’ about an Article [sic] 25.  They don’t think about it now, the 25th Amendment.  They don’t think about that now at all, right?” says renowned golf cheat and adulterer Donald Trump.  “They never mention the 25th, but they would mention, anytime I have a great idea, 25th Amendment, there’s somethin’ wrong with him.  That’s why I took the aptitude test and I aced it according to Doc Ronny and a whole group of doctors.  I aced that aptitude test.  And that’s a test that even some geniuses in this room will not do that well on, I will tell ya.  It’s not that easy of a test.  They show the first one or two questions, they’re pretty easy, they show the first ones.  When you get up to question 28 and 29 and 30, you gotta be okay, believe me.”

Well, first, it’s not Article 25.  Nuking a hurricane is not a “great idea.”  And the Montreal Cognitive Test isn’t an “aptitude test”; it’s a test to check for signs of senility.  Oh, and there are only 15 questions on it.

“These are the very people who are destroying democracy and here’s what they’re trying to do, Brian,” protohuman and very scared Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Ga.) tells Newsmax’s Johnny Bravo cosplayer.  “They are literally, ah, using, uh, uh, like a loophole in our, in our laws and they’re challenging my candidacy.  Erm, they’re challenging my qualifications to run for office um, er qualifications for candidacy are usually thinks, or they, they only should be things like, ah, do you live in the state?  Ah, are you old enough to run?  Those are qualifications for candidacy and of course, I me, I meet all of those easily.”

Section Three of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution bars anyone who had previously taken an oath to the Constitution but later took up efforts to undermine the nation from holding elected office in the future.  Hardly a loophole.

Despite an enclave of around 2,000 Ukrainian fighters holed up in the middle of the city, Russian President Vladimir Putin has declared a victory in Mariupol, a city in eastern Ukraine that has been under siege for weeks, the Associated Press reports.

Two months into the invasion, few of Russia’s anticipated goals have been achieved, and in the last couple weeks, Russian military resources have been shifted to the eastern part of Ukraine, where they have established support from the troops that invaded the Donbas region.

Ukrainians remain defiant in the face of Russian forces.  “The city was, is and remains Ukrainian,” Mariupol Mayor Vadym Boychenko declared. “Today our brave warriors, our heroes, are defending our city.”

Obviously, Madison Cawthorn is being targeted by Deep State police officer because he’s a politician who’s dedicated to bringing down The Swamp, not because he famously has a suspended license, but continues to drive, swerving as he drives down the road speeding.

In this clip, taken by North Carolina state trooper’s dash cam on March 8th, Cawthorn gets pulled over driving a pick-up truck which was swerving in the road.  The officer informs Cawthorn that he must confiscate his drivers license, and the passenger in the vehicle, a comely young brunette, gets out of the passenger side, adjusts her top, puts on her high heels, and helps the trooper get Cawthorn’s wheelchair from the bed of the pickup so he can move to the passenger side.

Less than three months before the traffic stop, Cawthorn announced he and his wife of eight months were going to divorce; some people are saying his wife was a Russian asset introduced to Cawthorn by another Russian asset.  The identify of the woman in the dashcam footage is unknown.  Cawthorn faces up to 20 days in jail for driving on a suspended license.  He has another court hearing May 6th for another driving violation.

pic.twitter.com/IYLSVKAf7W

— Rep Andy Biggs (@RepAndyBiggsAZ) April 21, 2022

The Florida Secretary of Agriculture and Consumer Services Nikki Fried, who is also a Democratic candidate for governor, announced Thursday a new initiative that would make the state’s power supply come from 100% renewable resources by 2050, the Associated Press reports.

“This is one of the most urgent issues of our time,” Fried said at a Miami news conference. “We can’t afford to deny this reality and the urgency of what is happening to our state.”  Fried’s plan sets interim goals to incrementally move Florida away from fossil fuels and to renewables:  40% by 2030, 63% by 2035 and 82% by 2040.

The program seeks to address an ongoing court case brought by dozens of young people in Florida who claim the state government is violating their Constitutional rights by promoting fossil fuel usage in the face of damage from climate change.  Florida has experiences fires, floods, hurricanes and other natural disasters experts attribute to changing climate, and the lawsuit would require government policy to address future concerns about climate change instead of immediate political initiatives.

The former President has been taken into custody, the Washington Post reports, giving National Zero a hilarious opportunity to once again troll readers by leaving out of the headline that it’s the former president of Honduras, Juan Orlando Hernández, who’s in big trouble with the DEA for drug trafficking. Hernández was extradited to the US on Thursday to face the charges he took millions in bribes to allow cocaine to be trafficked north through his country.

Truth Social may fucking suck, but the one thing that does nothing to make it any more interesting is the presence of an “@Q” who may not or definitely is not the same assclown who wrote the original legendary “Q drops” of yore. You can’t find Q on your lamestream social media apps, libs!

The Biden Administration announced that all Russian commercial and personal ships and boats will be barred from entry into US ports as a further sanction against the Russian government for its invasion of Ukraine, Politico reports.

“This is yet another critical step we are taking in concert with our partners in the European Union, United Kingdom and Canada in further to deny Russia the benefits of the international economic system that they so enjoyed in the past,” President Joe Biden said.

The move is largely symbolic given that less than 1% of all shipping activity in the US is conducted by Russian-flagged vessels, but it will make it more difficult for Russia to obtain US made products from US distributors.

FBI agents arrested Florida Proud Boy Barry Bennett Ramey on Thursday, hitting him with an array of felony charges related to his assault on cops during the Capitol riot, NBC News reports. The arrest comes a day after Ryan Nougaret, the FBI agent in charge of investigating Ramey, filed an affidavit to the court describing Ramey’s attempts to intimidate him earlier this month (Nougaret refers to himself as “Your affiant” in the affidavit, which makes it a little stilted, but nevertheless):

“On February 11, 2022, your affiant left his business card with a close associate of RAMEY during an attempted interview. Your affiant’s business card contained your affiant’s work cell phone number and identified him as an FBI Special Agent. Subsequent to the attempted interview, on February 12, 2022, your affiant received a phone call from an individual who claimed to be RAMEY’s attorney and who said that RAMEY contacted him because RAMEY had been informed that the FBI was asking about him. On April 8, 2022, your affiant received a phone call on his work cell phone from telephone number 1-305-317-4040. When your affiant answered the call, your affiant recognized the voice of the male individual on the phone as consistent with the voice of BARRY BENNETT RAMEY. Your affiant had recently listened to RAMEY speak at length on a YouTube video.”

“‘Is this Mr. Nougaret? And you still live at [your affiant’s home address].’ Your affiant replied, ‘Who is this?’ The caller then immediately terminated the phone call. Shortly thereafter, your affiant received a text message from the same number (1-305-317-4040) which included the VIN number for a vehicle previously owned by your affiant without any other text. Your affiant replied via text message, ‘????’ Your affiant then received the following text message from the same number, ‘Check that VIN number.;)’. FBI Miami ran telephone number 1-305-317-4040 to determine the carrier and the number came back to Onvoy, LLC d/b/a Inteliquent. Inteliquent and its subsidiaries primarily provide wholesale telecommunications services to other telecommunications carriers, re-sellers and service providers,” wrote Nougaret before going into the details of the VOIP service and how Ramey used it to mask his number. Ramey has been hit with additional felony charges for the intimidation attempt. This one’s pretty high up on the list of best Capitol riot arrests.

Cokehead idiot Donald Trump Jr used a Thursday appearance on a St Louis right wing talk radio show to endorse disgraced former Missouri Governor and wife and child abuser Eric Greitens’ bid for the GOP nomination to replace retiring Senator Roy Blunt. Don Jr did not mention his upcoming testimony to the House January 6th Select Committee in the interview.

“The Governor of Georgia, Brian Kemp, and Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, perhaps in collusion with the Radical Left Democrats, have allowed a horrible thing to happen to a very popular Republican, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. She is now going through hell in their attempt to unseat her, just more of an election mess in Georgia, including the fact that they will still allow easily corruptible Ballot Boxes for all to cheat with, and have not been able to get a little thing called ‘Signature Verification’ approved. Unlike other Republicans, this Governor does everything possible to hurt the voting process in Georgia including his approval of a disastrous Consent Decree, and not calling a Special Session that was requested by Georgia’s Republicans Senators.”

“He absolutely refused. Both of those failures were a disaster for the Republican Party, and for our Country. Even the ‘True the Vote’ people, great patriots, who will soon announce massive Ballot Harvesting in Georgia and other States, said Kemp was the worst of all Governors to deal with – he didn’t want to do anything to help with finding this massive Ballot Harvesting fraud. Brian Kemp should be voted out of office – vote for David Perdue. REMEMBER, Brian Kemp will never be able to win the General Election against Stacey ‘The Hoax’ Abrams because a large number of Republicans just will not vote for him” said the Orange Fatass in a statement.

Florida Republicans are wrong to retaliate against Disney for exercising constitutionally protected speech.

This will not end well.

Tune in today at 4pm ET to https://t.co/32PbIq6hfe where I’ll break down why the legal principle at stake here matters.

— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) April 21, 2022

Wow. Holy shit. Someone famous for losing over 60 cases trying to get the 2020 election overturned is actually cognizant of the potential blowback of the MAGA war on free speech. Color us impressed at this idiot coming around for once, even at the risk of being called a “groomer”.

Popular.info was able to review eight of the 54 math textbooks banned from Florida public schools over short little bastard Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s crusade against “critical race theory” and other “prohibited concepts” but could not figure out anything in the books that might have been offensive to the cunty sensibilities of MAGA people in the books for younger grades. The team at Popular Info guessed questions like “How can you show that you value the ideas of others?” and “What helps you understand your partner’s ideas?” appearing in a 1st Grade math textbook might qualify as “social-emotional learning”, but were otherwise unable to figure out what the issue was.

At the eighth grade level, a banned math textbook titled “M/J Grade 8 Mathematics: Pre-Algebra” contained two short biographical sidebars about Black mathematicians Elbert Frank Cox, the first Black American PhD in math, and Dorothy Johnson Vaughan, a Black NASA mathematician, which they guess qualifies as critical race theory for acknowledging their contributions to the field. Popular Info found that they were the only two out of a number of bios included in the book.

The Florida House of Representative passed a bill revoke the Walt Disney Company’s special jurisdictional status in the state of Florida, sending the bill to Republican Governor Ron DeSantis, who wants to punish the company for disagreeing with his “Don’t Say Gay” anti-civil rights dictum, the Associated Press reports.

The move would strip special debt load provisions for Disney, as well as take away the ability to run their 27,000 acres as independent business operations in which they determine operational hours and conditions, zoning issues and environmental issues.

Enacting the bill would likely bring significant development in Florida by Disney to a halt.  The $2 billion in debt carried by Disney relating to property taxes that were not collected would be assessed to the people in the surrounding county, coming to a $1,200 tax bill per family, according to people who have analyzed the bill.

Warner Brothers Discovery will inform employees Thursday that the CNN+ online streaming service will shut down at the end of the month, just one month after the service went live with great fanfare, CNBC reports.

The decision to quickly shut down CNN+ was done largely at the recommendation of new CNN president Chris Licht, who feels the service and the rollout were not compatible with the network’s brand.  Although he does not official start until May 1st, Licht was scheduled to address CNN+ employees midday Thursday.

The existing program will either be shifted to HBO Max or CNN’s standard website.  Many of CNN+’s employees will be shifted to those operations.  CNN invested hundreds of millions of dollars in the streaming service, including bringing on top-dollar talent like former Fox host Chris Wallace, but the service only attracted about 10,000 regular daily visitors.