Category: Uncategorized

It is not here! It is risen! Or it will be pretty soon! Rejoice! Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza, which died for your sins in September 2020 will be resurrected on May 19th! Halle-fuckin-lujah bros!

According to data compiled by Quorum Research, Republicans in Congress have mentioned inflation in 8,158 times in their official tweets, Facebook posts, press releases, in floor speeches, and in email newsletters since January 1st. Which is totally cool since it makes for a potent line of attack. After all, who wants to pay more for the same shit than they did last year?

But when the Reverend Jefferson Davis Goebbels of the Stormfront Baptist Church in Antebellum County, Mississippi says “Send me to Washington to represent you and I’ll take on inflation like I took on that colored boy who looked at me funny at the gas station and got the murder charges dropped by my cousin District Attorney Bobby James Davis Goebbels last July” what is he actually proposing to do for his voters? It’s not like a GOP House majority with a Speaker Kevin McCarthy can unilaterally order gas and food prices to go down – and even if they could it’s not very conservative to implement price controls. It’s more like a Venezuela or Zimbabwe thing.

Florida’s Lt. Governor Jeanette Nunez has a difficult job:  she’s got to go on television and justify the batshit insanity of her boss, Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.  With the help of reality TeeVee personality and baby mill Rachel Campos Duffy–who helpfully notes that textbook publishers put CRT in math textbooks to try to sneak around the Florida ban.

“And you’re right,” Nunez proclaims.  “What we’ve seen is a systematic attempt by these publishers to infiltrate our children’s education by embedding topics such as critical race theory.  Things that have nothing to do with math.”

Note that Florida has yet to produce one snippet from any of the 53 banned math books that demonstrate anything relating to critical race theory–likely because they don’t know what CRT actually is and would be laughed out of a room when they declare they “canceled” a text book because of a sketch of two children of different races playing together.

Super patriotic President Biden, who loves America and Real American workers, is set to announce an “America First” policy in which only American manufacturers will supply the iron and steel for projects in his America First Infrastructure Plan, reports White House Deputy Press Secretary Andrew Bates. America haters and socialists who wanted the steel and iron sourced from countries like Belarus, Hungary, and other anti-freedom countries will be screaming at the sky over this big win for US manufacturing. It’s almost like Biden is making America great again or something.

They are however having an “EMERGENCY BLOWOUT SALE” at the Infowars store. It does not say what the “emergency” is, but there’s always an “emergency” when Soros, the Deep State, FEMA, the Jews, etc are perpetually mere hours away from declaring martial law and subjugating the United States and turning it into a woke socialist dictatorship with no freedom of religion or speech.

On Sunday Infowars filed for bankruptcy protection in Texas after a number of lawsuits from families of the victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary massacre of schoolchildren and teachers over founder Alex Jones’s conspiracy rants calling the atrocity a “false flag” by shadowy government agencies who staged the killings to provide an impetus for increased gun control measures. Judgements in the lawsuits – in which the losses have continued to pile up for Jones – threatened to actually bankrupt him and his bullshit far right conspiracy media empire.

French prosecutors announced Sunday they were opening an investigation into far-right presidential candidate Marine Le Pen over an European Union anti-fraud agency report accusing the Nazi hell witch of embezzlement, just a week before the final round of the election in which she’ll face off against incumbent President Emmanuel Macron, Reuters reports. OLAF, the EU financial crimes office, issued a report last month accusing Le Pen of misappropriating 140,000 euros of public money disbursed by the EU for campaign activities.

A man who suffers from a panic disorder has been awarded a $450,000 award from his company by the court because the company held a birthday party for him although he told them not to, NBC News reports.

Kevin Berling of Kentucky told his office manager at Gravity Diagnostics that he did not want a birthday party because it would trigger a panic attack, but his coworkers threw a surprise birthday party for him at lunchtime in the office on August 7, 2019, causing him to get upset and leave the building, finishing his lunch in his car.

After lunch, Berling was called into a supervisor’s office, where he was confronted and berated about his behavior, causing another panic attack.  Three days later, he was fired with the company claiming he violated “workplace violence” policies. 

This holiday needs a better rodent mascot. Capybaras are the only choice.

Melrose, Massachusetts Police Department: “Chief Michael L. Lyle reports that the Melrose Police Department responded to a crash at a cemetery on Saturday afternoon. On Saturday, April 16, at approximately 2:30 p.m., Melrose Police were dispatched to Wyoming Cemetery, 205 Sylvan St., for a report of a motor vehicle crash. Upon arrival, police learned that the vehicle – an older model Range Rover – crashed into headstones at the cemetery. The driver, a 53-year-old Melrose woman with her learner’s permit, was practicing driving at the time of the crash, accompanied by a relative who is a licensed operator. The two occupants of the vehicle were uninjured.”

“A total of eight headstones were knocked over. Several sustained damage, but all were successfully uprighted by members of the Department of Public Works, who responded to the scene. A preliminary investigation indicates that the woman lost control of the vehicle, causing it to strike the headstones. The crash remains under investigation by the Melrose Police Department.”

Put aside the various snake venom pitched by Alex Jones on Infowars that he claims increased his IQ and will let him live forever.  Tucker Carlson is now in the “bromeopathy” business, promoting “testicle tanning” as the method to increase testosterone levels, which Carlson is very concerned about.

Editor’s note:  there’s no evidence to believe anything Tucker Carlson features on his show.

Want to join an “exclusive” club where you can “stay close to the magic for decades to come” and “make vacation memories to last a lifetime” and participate in “complimentary events” that “provide Members access to a select theme park after the park has closed to the general public! Enjoy shorter-than-usual attraction wait times, Character sightings, great entertainment and more” etc?

A Christian nationalist far-right group in Sweden decided Holy Week would be the right time to ignore Christ’s lesson to treat others the way you would wish to be treated, and they burned a Koran, setting off four days of protests and counterprotests around the nation, leaving a bus and cars burned, the BBC reports.

The Danish-Swedish Christian national group Stram Kurs, or Hard Line held an event Thursday in which its leader, Rasmus Paludan, burned a Koran.  (And a disclaimer:  at the risk of unfairly characterizing all member of the group Stram Kurs–because some may not feel this way or do these things–I’m going to refer to them as a single entity, even though some Stram Kurs defenders may find that bigoted.). Paludan said the he would repeat the act in the city of Norrköping.

Muslims obviously reacted to the provocation by Stram Kurs, with hundreds taking to the streets in Stockholm, surrounding suburbs and in the cities of Linköping and Norrköping. 

“I believe in the Constitution. I believe in the way our Founding Fathers believed in country:  life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” declares Clark County School Board candidate John Carlo, before making a significant leap:  “That means homosexuals cannot procreate.  This goes against our Constitution and this goes against what parents want in the school district, and this is one book our of thousands.  This is disgusting.”

Spoiler alert:  I’ll risk being labeled a bigot because I’m anti-bigot, and an anti-evangelical because I’m going to lambast this individual’s hypocrisy.

There’s nothing in the Constitution about procreation, mandated or otherwise.  Contrary to Carlo’s claim, I believe parents would actually want children to learn that LGBTQ people exist, rather than have them ignorant about the world the way Carlo is.  And believe it or not, homosexuals *can* actually procreate, through the assistance of surrogates and donors; reproductive organs don’t stop working because of one’s sexual orientation.  But what do you expect from a man who urged the school district to teach the story of a fictional Confederate soldier named “Hulk Lawyer” to celebrate Black History Month.

He is not here. He is risen!

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) April 17, 2022

After the removal of almost 500 containers from its deck in a tricky operation, the 1,051-foot long container ship the Ever Forward was finally freed from the bottom of Chesapeake Bay and is floating on its own, the Baltimore Sun reports.

Mired in the bay mud for more than a month, the Ever Forward drifted out of the deep channel in the bay and got stuck, with efforts to push and pull it out, as well as dredging mud around it, unsuccessful to refloating the massive vessel.

Teams have worked around the clock for the last two weeks to remove containers from the ship to lighten the load.  In a delicate operation, a floating crane would remove a container and place it on a waiting barge.  A tug would then take the container to Baltimore ports.

“Happy Easter to all including the Radical Left Maniacs who are doing everything possible to destroy our Country. May they not succeed, but let them, nevertheless, be happy, healthy, wealthy, and well!” says the Orange God Emperor in a special Easter message from Mar-a-Lago.

Jesus did not comply with lockdowns.

Happy Easter!

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) April 17, 2022

Fighting broke out over the weekend in cities across Sweden between the Muslim community and a group of Danish white nationalists after members of a Danish far right white nationalist group attempted to stage a Koran burning in the city of Malmo, the Associated Press reports.

In the central city of Orebro on Friday at least four police vehicles were torched and 12 cops injured as counterprotestors raged over the white supremacist group Stram Kurs’ (“Hard Line” in English) plan to publicly burn a Koran there. On Saturday Stram Kurs’ leader Rasmus Paludan – a Dane with Swedish citizenship – was hit with a rock as he addressed a crowd in the city of Malmo – which is just across a strait from the Danish capital Copenhagen. Related unrest was also reported in the Swedish capital Stockholm and in the cities of Linkoping and Norrkoping since Thursday.

Tucker Carlson’s coming out with two of his propaganda films that he calls “documentaries” on the Fox streaming channel.  One is the (ahem) dangerous! reduction in testosterone levels in men which has a very homoerotic promotion circulating online.  (There are many medical theories for lowering testosterone rates; Carlson likely won’t discuss any of them and say it’s a lib scandal to emasculate good ol’ ‘Murican Budweiser-drinkin’, pickup-truck drivin’, cow-punchin’ Real Men… like the bowtied prep school alum Tucker Carlson, a man who’s never played a contact sport in his life unless you consider fencing a contact sport.)

As ridiculous as that topic is, Carlson’s other “doc” is dangerous.  Carlson takes on the “controversy” of transgenderism–meaning he’ll bring out every outlier doctor and patient to show how “fake” transgenderism is and how it’s a scam by libs to get counselors and doctors and schools and (probably) unions and antifa money.  It’s Carlson:  you know he’ll spew bullshit.