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In a series of recordings taken surreptitiously during several private meetings with donors last year and provided to Axios by one of those donors to further some agenda, Canadian immigrant Senator Ted Cruz recounted how he and his fellow Republicans in the chamber held a lengthy late night April 2025 post-“Liberation Day” conference call in which they begged and pleaded with convicted felon President Trump to back down from the suicidally stupid tariffs which, per Cruz, “did not go well.”

“Trump was in a bad mood. I’ve been in conversations where he was very happy. This was not one of them,” Cruz said, then relaying what he told Trump: “Mr President, if we get to November 2026 and people’s 401(k)s are down 30 percent and prices are up 10–20 percent at the supermarket, we’re going to go into Election Day, face a bloodbath You’re going to lose the House, you’re going to lose the Senate, you’re going to spend the next two years being impeached every single week.”

“Fuck you, Ted,” Trump then responded, according to Cruz. The Axios article is actually mostly about Cruz privately shit-talking Trump and neckbearded Vice President JD Vance, and the tariff anecdote leads into how the audio caught Cruz telling a donor that he told his staff “if anyone uses [Trump’s stupid ‘Liberation Day’], they will be terminated on the spot. That is not language we use,” lol.

“Tucker created JD. JD is Tucker’s protege, and they are one and the same,” Cruz said in another moment, which Axios says is significant because, while Ted’s hatred of Tucker Carlson is no secret, he had previously refrained from publicly linking Tucker and Jaydee. Cruz blamed the two for Mike Waltz’s exile to the UN, because Waltz had “supported being vigorous against Iran and bombing Iran, and Tucker and JD took Mike out,” failing of course to mention the “Signalgate” shitshow but also hinting at Cruz by extension accusing Jaydee of being anti-Israel and thus antisemitic.

Alex Pretti, the 37 year-old Veterans Affairs ICU nurse murdered in Minneapolis this morning was shot at least 10 times by a Border Patrol agent about a second after another had pulled the gun that Pretti was legally carrying from his waistband, according to a video analysis by CNN.

So yeah, Pretti was murdered. They beat the shit out of him, took his gun that he never tried to use, and then executed him while he was still on his hands and knees. It was murder by a fascist regime led by an illegitimate autocrat who more likely than not raped underage sex trafficking victims.

“It is actually possible that the total amount of money stolen, over the years, by Corrupt Politicians and Fraudsters, from Minnesota, will exceed $100 Billion Dollars. In any event, whether it is or isn’t, the Theft, Incompetence, and Fraud is MASSIVE! Sadly, whatever numbers we find, California, and other Democrat run States, WILL BE WORSE. Stay tuned!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday, doing his absolute best to heal a nation riven by unrest after a deadly shooting.

Let’s all work together to support our President as he works to restore Law and Order, Peace and Prosperity, and safety to our streets as he sends his brave and dedicated law enforcement officers into Minneapolis to quell a culture of fraud and disrespect for authority. Nobody should question what’s going on here when a man is getting subdued on icy pavement in broad daylight and screaming “You’re gonna have to kill me! You’re gonna have to kill me! I’ve done nothing wrong! My name is Matthew James! I’m a US citizen! You’re gonna kill me! Is that what you want?” while his wife sobs and agents of the state fire chemical grenades at civilians hours after a man was shot dead.

If these people would just understand that ICE and CBP are there to help them and protect them from the millions of illegal criminals that Joe Biden unleashed into this country. Really when you think of it this is Biden and Kamala Harris’s fault for letting things get this bad and not sending militarized federal law enforcement into Minneapolis to fire chemical grenades at civilians in the street.

Remember that Laken Riley would be alive today if Biden had the guts to arrest toddlers and manhandle old men and shoot civilians in the streets. People should blame him, not Trump, who is Making America Great Again by ending the war between Thailand and Cambodia plus seven others.

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage after this important editorial message on the importance of supporting President Trump’s plan to renovate the Kennedy Center.

In a brief interview with the New York Post printed Saturday (or a longer one that the assclowns use to run seven different articles) convicted felon President Trump told the lame, Murdoch-owned tabloid that he’s skipping this year’s Super Bowl while pretending it isn’t because of anti-MAGA halftime acts Bad Bunny and Green Day. “I’m anti-them. I think it’s a terrible choice. All it does is sow hatred. Terrible,” said the fat bastard who then claimed that wasn’t the reason he won’t be attending the “Big Game” at the San Francisco 49ers’ home field in Santa Clara, California early next month.

“It’s just too far away. I would. I’ve [gotten] great hands [at] the Super Bowl,” and just gotta stop there because the sentence without the words the Post put in brackets is “I’ve great hands the Super Bowl,” and Jesus Christ. “They like me, I would go if, you know, it was a little bit shorter.”

Also on Saturday one of the elderly invalids aides wrote “The GREAT and very BRAVE soldiers of the United Kingdom will always be with the United States of America! In Afghanistan, 457 died, many were badly injured, and they were among the greatest of all warriors. It’s a bond too strong to ever be broken. The UK Military, with tremendous Heart and Soul, is second to none (except for the USA!). We love you all, and always will! President DONALD J TRUMP” and posted it to his Truth Social account under his name to TACO out of his disrespect for UK service members.

Literally the only piece of new information in a Saturday morning Fox News article headlined “Border Patrol-involved shooting reported in Minneapolis” is that DHS “told Fox News that the suspect was armed with a gun and two magazines” along with a pic of the supposed weapon.

Since they provided Fox News with that information and nothing else, simple deduction should tell you the following: (A) The man was a US citizen and not a target for immigration enforcement operations. They would have immediately tried to justify it by saying he’s an illegal. (B) He made no attempt to actually pull it out or fire it because that pretext for blasting him would also have been added to the Fox News article. (C) Neither of those facts are going to matter because the pic of the gun sitting on a car seat is the new “Jonathan Ross suffered internal bleeding.”

This happened just this morning near the corner of Nicolett and 24th in the south side of the city, the video being cautioned as unconfirmed by a number of Twitter users. However the city’s Metro Transit issued a “Rider Alert” at 9:20 AM local time saying specifically that bus “Route 18 detoured off Nicollet Ave from 24th St to 28th St until later today,” without saying why. Can’t really blame them for not wanting to say “Your bus has been rerouted because some sick fuck ICE agent repeatedly shot a guy who was lying face down on the snow this morning” in a message to riders.

“If Governor Carney thinks he is going to make Canada a ‘Drop Off Port’ for China to send goods and products into the United States, he is sorely mistaken. China will eat Canada alive, completely devour it, including the destruction of their businesses, social fabric, and general way of life.”

“If Canada makes a deal with China, it will immediately be hit with a 100 percent Tariff against all Canadian goods and products coming into the USA,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday because he has nothing better to do than increase Americans’ cost of living.

The fat bastard then posted “I have approved Emergency Declarations for the Historic Winter Storms headed to the Great State of South Carolina and the Commonwealth of Virginia. With the help of FEMA and our State partners, we will keep everyone safe, and make sure both States have the support they need. We will continue to monitor, and stay in touch with all States in the path of this storm. Stay Safe, and Stay Warm!” indicating he forgot Virginia no longer has a Republican governor.

Chinese dictator Xi Jingping’s goons have put Central Military Commission Vice Chair Zhang Youxia under investigation for some kind of misconduct that was either made up or real but ignored until now, a move that the AP reports is the latest in a series of purges of the People’s Liberation Army’s top leadership who’ve been suspected of disloyalty to Xinnie the Pooh, chair of the commission.

Another member of the commission, Liu Zhenli, was also placed under investigation for who the hell knows what pretext. General Zhang would be the equivalent of Pete Hegseth in rank but the commission itself is ostensibly a power structure separate from Xi’s direct command, so Xi putting him and Liu under investigation is more like the bullshit attempts to prosecute Fed Chairman Jerome Powell and Board of Governors member Lisa Cook – except more effective and without checks.

White House sources tell CNN that convicted felon President Trump and his minions are concerned about the “optics” of the brutality ICE has been inflicting on innocent people in Minneapolis but not enough to actually order the fascist stormtrooper korps to stand down so much as trying to spin up some bullshit narrative that they’re doing more good than harm. The best idea Trump had for this was to show reporters a bunch of mugshots of the relative handful of actual dangerous criminals ICE has supposedly rounded up – and none of the otherwise innocent regular people rounded up.

“He wanted to do that briefing in large part because he himself wanted to bring out the mugshots that we had printed for him. He wanted to remind the world of why ICE is doing what they’re doing,” a minion said. Another told the network that “There’s an effort underway to come up with new ideas and new ways to amplify the good work they are doing. There have not been discussions about toning down the rhetoric. In fact there have been discussions on how to remind people more aggressively of why this happened in the first place.” Recall that Trump sent ICE to Minnesota because that little wiener Nick Shirley tried to enter a daycare center that he claimed was a front for a massive international fraud operation, none of which has any real nexus to illegal immigration.

CNN writes that “some administration officials believe there is too much focus on the tensions between ICE agents – and therefore the administration – and protesters, and have discussed how to extricate themselves from that narrative,” as if the “lib-owning” isn’t fun now that the outrages they deliberately provoked are proving to be wildly unpopular with all but the most hardcore.

Embrace the penguin. pic.twitter.com/kKlzwd3Rx7

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 23, 2026

“A recent study by geophysicists at Washington State University offers insight into how nutrients may reach the subsurface ocean of Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons and a leading candidate for extraterrestrial life in the solar system. Scientists have long wondered how life-sustaining nutrients could make it from the surface into Europa’s ice-covered ocean, where microscopic life is believed to exist. Drawing from a process from Earth’s geology known as crustal delamination, the research team used computer modeling to show that dense, nutrient-rich ice can separate from the surrounding ice and descend into the ocean,” says a press release from Washington State.

Complicated story short, the shit that could sustain life under the very thick ice shell around Europa seeps into the volcanically-warmed liquid ocean underneath and feeds the “microscopic” organisms that may or may not exist. The “microscopic” part seems to be kind of gratuitous scientific conservatism, like what the hell makes them so sure that an ocean that’s existed for 4 billion years doesn’t contain an ecosystem just as complex as Earth’s oceanosphere or even more so.

Nobody’s ever really going to know what’s down there until astronauts with a lot of heavy-duty equipment land on the snowball and start drilling to send a probe down. And then that fucker better be sterilized to hell to ensure a virgin ocean isn’t destroyed by something stupid like botulism.

If you’re one of the as many as 200 million Americans facing a major winter weather advisory this weekend then it’s absolutely imperative that you immediately drop everything and drive to your nearest grocery store to buy at minimum three gallons of milk, five loaves of bread, three dozen eggs, fill up your tank with gasoline and then also fill up a red five gallon gas can.

Don’t ask questions, just do it. Even if you’re already good and especially if you live in a suburban community with a lot of older people who panic buy milk, eggs, bread, and gas as they can every time there’s some major weather event in the forecast. It’s a time-honored tradition to go to the supermarket and complain a lot about how “crazy” it is, oh my God this place is a zoo. You also absolutely have to say something “Why does everyone act like this when there’s a blizzard coming? I just came here to get some milk, eggs, and bread so I don’t have to go out when it’s all snowy. Oh for Pete’s sake they’re out of 2 percent low fat. That’s just great, all these f-wording people have to freak out and come here. I bet the Mobil is a madhouse now too! Every time it snows!”

This is a matter of life and death. You must have milk, eggs, bread, and gas to survive.

There’s always some fucking excuse, like that, according to Trump DOJ Assistant Attorney General Harmett Dhillon, the magistrate judge that refused to sign off on the charge against Don Lemon is married to some staffer for Minnesota AG Keith Ellison. Of course it wouldn’t be an ill-advised podcast interview with psychopath Megan Kelly if there wasn’t some plot hole, as Politico’s Josh Gerstein points out that Lemon was only one out of five other participants in the church “attack” that the regime failed to secure an arrest for. Dhillon says she’s going to try with a grand jury.

Oil town Odessa, Texas’s director of economic development Tom Manskey tells the Texas Tribune that his town and the Permian Basin region at large could take a beating if convicted felon President Trump’s seizure of Venezuela’s oil wealth ends up being a real thing and the market is flooded.

“I would imagine it would have a negative effect on our region with regards to jobs and everything else. We’re in a very unpredictable economic time, and I think that’s just adding to it. There’s no predictability right now in the marketplace,” said Manskey in response to Trump’s pledge to bring prices down to $50 a barrel when the industry needs a minimum of $62 to break even.

The Potomac River is filled with swampy raw sewage from the muck of DC… In other news the Daily Voice reports that a major sewer line just outside the District’s northwestern border ruptured and started spewing millions upon millions of gallons of waste into the waterway! Bwahahahahaha!

Crews are working hard to contain the leak and have been making progress – which is the opposite of Congress – but want the job finished before this weekend’s winter storm hits. It’ll be so cold you’ll see politicians with their hands in their own pockets! Seriously folks, let’s hear it for the DC Water utility’s workers! If they pull this job off there’s another godawful hole that constantly spews a massive torrent of foul-smelling waste they can plug next: It’s located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!

Just don’t walk too far fellas! If you make a wrong turn you might end up at the Supreme Court and get mistaken for the guys that Ginni called to fix the waste tank on the luxury RV parked out front!

Worse, you’ll get cowed into the job anyway. Then when you find the clog you’ll tell her she and her husband should use regular toilet paper instead of the US Constitution! Hahahahahaahaha!

“Remember everybody, it is Chuck Schumer, the under siege Senator from New York, who is holding up the Gateway Project!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

The full $6.9 billion of federal funding for the project was signed into law in 2021. There’s no legal authority for Trump to simply stop funding it but he does it anyway just because he can… And that’s a power he should be owning happily, lording it over Schumer. Instead this fat cunt is posting, um, something about how it’s Schumer’s fault without even explaining any of the internal logic to it.

Trump’s fanboys deserve better authoritarian overcompensating than this pussyfooting bullshit.

“Pizza Hut has just launched pasta. Yes, the same Pizza Hut that Italy frowns upon has now taken on another Italian classic. The kind that’s creamy, cheesy, loaded with sauce, and blatantly breaks every Italian rule in the book. So, before unveiling their new pasta, they dared to challenge an entire nation, defy centuries of tradition, and actually get approval for it. By Italians,” says a Pizza Hut press release that starts normal enough then quickly takes a sharp turn into very dicey territory.

“Kind of. But the brand knew what they were getting into. Traditional Italians would never agree to this culinary crime. Not the Giuseppes, not the Francescas, and definitely not their Nonnas. So, Pizza Hut did what they do best, they got creative. They turned to other Italians. Those who’ve been born and raised in countries like Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Japan and so on – who hold the Italian passport, but welcome contemporary twists on Italian food. It was the perfect setup for a social experiment disguised as a taste test, designed to test the limits of tradition,” the release continues.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck… Had to emphasize the “traditional” part above again because fuck. This entire marketing campaign sounds almost like it was designed in a lab to appeal to the Stephino Milleronis out there, but also kind of piss them off by referring to those “who hold the Italian passport” as Italians as well. This is freaking playing with fire and they better hope OANN doesn’t find out.