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Hard to really figure out exactly what the hell Texas MAGA Congressman Pete Sessions is saying here but it seems like he wants to investigate everyone in the now-infamous Epstein birthday book but convicted felon President Trump while also acknowledging in the most ass-backward way that he doesn’t actually believe the fat bastard’s claim that the letter he wrote was somehow fabricated.

“The ANIMAL who so violently killed the beautiful young lady from Ukraine, who came to America searching for peace and safety, should be given a ‘Quick’ (there is no doubt!) Trial, and only awarded THE DEATH PENALTY. There can be no other option!!! PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP” posted the Orange God Emperor on Wednesday, 19 days after the murder of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska by criminally insane scumbag Decarlos Brown, something that only became politically useful once the video of the murder was made public and quickly got traction on the MAGA internet this week.

Again, had she lived, it would have been EXTREMELY unlikely that Zarutska would have still been legally permitted to live and work in the US given the fat bastard’s coming revocation of TPS.

ICE and CBP agents were forced to flee from a raid on a roofing job site in the Park Avenue neighborhood of Rochester, New York on Tuesday and left with only one detainee after more than 100 locals descended on the scene and slashed the tires of at least one SUV, WXXI reports.

The Border Patrol were detailed as backup to ICE, who arrested a reportedly legally permitted roofer named Chino on the street or front lawn of the home and then laid an idle siege to the several other men still on the roof. “They already admitted they are here illegally, and I can make a warrantless arrest… We’re waiting for them to come down,” an ICE agent told an immigrant advocate during the four-plus hour long standoff. The crowd continued to grow and began screaming “shame” and “Gestapo,” forcing the eventual capitulation and the escape in an SUV running on flat tires.

Roofing contractor Clayton Baker said Chino has been in the US for about 25 years and had legal documentation to work. “They took my best worker that’s been working with me for 5 years, and just basically, ‘See you later,’ you know? He’s a family guy, and he’s got a baby on the way. He’s never even had a speeding ticket that I know of. He goes to church every Sunday, and he pays his taxes but you want to come get him off of a hard-working job. It’s bullshit, and it’s inhumane and it’s sad.”

Did someone leak the President’s location to the organization that showed up to protest him? Was this code pink? How are they allowed that close to him?

Where was Secret Service and was there someone in Secret Service that leaked his location? This needs to be looked into. pic.twitter.com/kLvmOCOZ2P

— Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (@RepLuna) September 10, 2025

Speaking to Politico, three House Republicans bravely anonymously ripped into Federal Housing Finance Agency chief Bill “Fannie Man” Pulte and cheered on Treasury Suckretary Scott Bessent’s threat to beat the shit out of him, with one calling Pulte “just a little too big for his britches. I’ve got great respect for Bessent for taking him on.” Another called Pulte a “nut” while a third House GOP member said he “would have done the same,” as in almost kick the shit out of Pulte.

That “almost” being said, Pulte is reportedly 5’7 to Bessent’s 6’2 or 6’3, a reach advantage on the body of a very likely well-toned wealthy gay man who wasn’t afraid to shove Elon Musk in the White House. So yeah, Bessent probably would’ve won pretty quickly and easily.

Puerto Rico man Jey Xander Omar Gonzalez Diaz was in a pickle when the Royal Caribbean vessel Rhapsody of the Seas was returning to port in San Juan on Sunday after a seven day turn to Barbados: per NotiCentro, Diaz owed the cruise line $16,710.24 that he had pissed away in the ship’s casino and faced being confronted with the bill when he was to disembark the regular way.

His solution? Disembark the not-regular way by jumping overboard and retrieved by someone on a jet ski. It’s not clear whether he had called friends to pick him up or if they were just Good Samaritans. Problem was that CBP were already patrolling in the area and pretty much immediately stopped Diaz for questioning – and found that he was carrying $14,600 in cash that he’d been hoping to avoid declaring at the port – plus multiple phones and IDs with different names.

Non-human aerial objects don’t have invisible force fields just in the movies, they have them in real life too. See? The hellfire missile just bounced right off of that fucker during this October 30, 2024 engagement between US Navy aircraft and the orb thing off the coast of Yemen.

“Many people want to spin up a narrative of some big conspiracy at the White House to hide Joe Biden’s infirmity. Here is the truth as I lived it. Joe Biden was a smart guy with long experience and deep conviction, able to discharge the duties of president. On his worst day, he was more deeply knowledgeable, more capable of exercising judgment, and far more compassionate than Donald Trump on his best. But at 81, Joe got tired. That’s when his age showed in physical and verbal stumbles. I don’t think it’s any surprise that the debate debacle happened right after two back-to-back trips to Europe and a flight to the West Coast for a Hollywood fundraiser. I don’t believe it was incapacity. If I believed that, I would have said so. As loyal as I am to President Biden, I am more loyal to my country,” writes former Vice President Kamala Harris in an excerpt of her upcoming campaign memoir “107 Days,” printed by the Atlantic on Wednesday and ohhhhhhh man.

That’s kind of just the tip of the iceberg of the recrimination in the excerpt, which is going to DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION on Politico Playbook and Axios for at least a week or two.

DC Circuit Judge Jia Cobb on Tuesday put a temporary restraining order against convicted felon President Trump’s attempt to fire Fed Board of Governors member Lisa Cook.

Epstein victim Haley Robson on Tuesday told CNN’s Erin Burnett she was “disgusted” and “tired” of convicted felon President Trump – who she voted for – calling her story a “hoax” and reiterated her demand for full transparency from his regime on who else partied with Jeff back in their heyday.

Democrat James Walkinshaw on Tuesday defeated some Republican scrub to win the Virginia 11th District special election to succeed the late Gerry Connolly, per Political HQ. Walkinshaw looks like a bookish geek and while there’s nothing wrong with that in a D+30 district it would be cool to get like a surly fireman or Hooters waitress with a neck tattoo to mix things up a little bit.

At least six Russian drones crossed into Poland late Tuesday/early Wednesday local time, Sky News reports on an intrusion with an unknown purpose but obviously a serious provocation by Moscow against NATO. Various sources are reporting that Polish military personnel have already shot down two of the UAVs whose presence forced the shutdown of traffic at a major airport.

MAGA conspiracy theorist Alex Jones on Tuesday petitioned the Supreme Court to overturn the $1.4 billion judgment a Connecticut jury awarded to the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook massacre after years of Jones claiming the shooting was a hoax, the AP reports.

On a related note, the fat bastard just posted “This morning, the Trump Administration was notified by the United States Military that Israel was attacking Hamas which, very unfortunately, was located in a section of Doha, the Capital of Qatar. This was a decision made by Prime Minister Netanyahu, it was not a decision made by me. Unilaterally bombing inside Qatar, a Sovereign Nation and close Ally of the United States, that is working very hard and bravely taking risks with us to broker Peace, does not advance Israel or America’s goals. However, eliminating Hamas, who have profited off the misery of those living in Gaza, is a worthy goal. I immediately directed Special Envoy Steve Witkoff to inform the Qataris of the impending attack, which he did, however, unfortunately, too late to stop the attack. I view Qatar as a strong Ally and friend of the U.S., and feel very badly about the location of the attack. I want ALL of the Hostages, and bodies of the dead, released, and this War to END, NOW!” and blah blah blah he’s obviously upset at Netanyahu for jeopardizing the relationship that got him a free $400 million luxury 747 and bought Allah knows how much worth of $TRUMP shitcoin.

Asked by CNN’s Manu Raju on Tuesday what he thinks of the drawing of the torso of a nude teenage girl that convicted felon President Trump sent to his former best bud Jeffrey Epstein for his 50th birthday in 2003, House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer told Raju that Trump “says he did not sign it so I take the president at his word.” Given the value of Trump’s word these days it takes a guy who decades ago beat up his girlfriend for not having an abortion like Comer to shell out whatever he thinks resembles “integrity” in exchange for it. Fair enough transaction.

Comer then said he doesn’t “think the Oversight Committee is going to invest in looking up something from 22 years ago” and, despite the obvious incongruence of the “🚨🚨🚨” jackass’s long string of stupid, stupid failures in his Hunter Biden investigation, he’s not wrong to point that way.

Seriously, what else is there to investigate about this letter? It’s out there. Either you believe Trump signed it or you don’t. And even if you do want to know more it will in all likelihood come out sooner in Trump’s suicidally stupid case against the Wall Street Journal. The more tantalizing questions are about how the Democrats on the committee got their hands on it and put it out their without Comer being able to stop them. Trump’s gotta be fucking PISSED at this stupid hick for not doing anything to block Ranking Member Robert Garcia from rushing the letter out as soon as they got the copy from Epstein’s estate. Might be some good insider reporting on that angle soon.

Indonesia President Prabowo Subianto on Monday canned the, per Reuters, “well-regarded” longtime Finance Minister Sri Mulyani Indrawati – who served from 2005 to 2010 and then again since 2016 – with Purbaya Yudhi Sadewa, an economist who promises 8 percent growth and no new taxes for a vast nation plagued by recent unrest over the cost of living and inequality.

“I will create economic growth of 6 percent to 7 percent – that will make protesters disappear automatically. They will be busy looking for work and eating well, rather than protesting,” said Purbaya after he was sworn into the post. Lol. Fadhil Hasan of the Institute for Development of Economics and Finance in Jakarta said Purbaya is a good enough economist but doesn’t have the chops to directly manage fiscal policy and the economy at large, making him “not the best choice.”

BREAKING: Decarlos Brown Jr., the man accused of stabbing Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska to death while she was riding a train in Charlotte, NC, is now facing federal charges.

Brown is charged with one count of committing an act causing death on a mass transportation system.… pic.twitter.com/nEFTyO8UkC

— Fox News (@FoxNews) September 9, 2025

On Monday Axios reported that the MAGA GOP establishment were fapping about the murder of 23 year-old Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska at the knife of a Black ex-convict whose mom attempted repeatedly to have him locked up in a psychiatric ward. “This is exactly what he’s talking about, and it’s going to be an issue he’s going to highlight. This is not just about North Carolina. Other campaigns will deal with this,” said a “Trump adviser,” salivating over the imagery.

Yet the above is what you’re going to hear from the MAGA Reich, even as the asshole’s own mom said – two weeks ago – that he should never have been out on the streets. They found some pretext to charge him federally because it was on a transportation system – 17 days after it happened and 12 days after he was hit with state-level first degree murder charges – now that the video is public.

“White Castle, the iconic family-owned fast food business, is expanding its menu with three brand-new limited-time-only additions — The BBQ Pulled Pork Slider, Triple Cheese Tots and Pumpkin Latte Cheesecake dessert-on-a-stick, all crafted to satisfy both savory and sweet cravings. The new BBQ Pulled Pork Slider features slow roasted pulled pork, smoked with all-natural hickory wood and blended with just the right amount of specially seasoned, sweet BBQ sauce,” says a deeply hubristic press release from White Castle, challenging the might of all of Olympus to a reckoning.

“‘The BBQ Pulled Pork Slider is everything Cravers love about White Castle, including one-of-a kind flavor, high-quality ingredients and unbeatable value, all in one handheld masterpiece,’ said Jamie Richardson, vice president at White Castle. ‘The slow-roasted, sweet, smoky and savory profile is a celebration of flavor that brings something entirely new to the Castle while staying true to what we do best: satisfying the Crave.’ This delectable Slider is the highlight of the new $4.99 Combo Meal, demonstrating quality and quantity can coexist. The budget-friendly combo features two BBQ Pulled Pork Sliders with a small fry and soft drink,” the Promethean declaration continued.

Even if White Castle were this paragon of respect for the intestinal health of their customer base it would be questionable to introduce such a product at scale. But for these guys it’s… Like just the amount of surface area on the meat in one of these “sliders” alone with low-paid wage slaves not really all that concerned about safety. May God have mercy on the souls of those who would dare.

In a clip too brief to air here… Well two seconds briefer than the one earlier, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Tuesday was asked by CNN’s Ellis Kim if he believes the Trump-to-Epstein birthday note is real to which Johnson said only “I don’t. They say it’s not.”

This one’s going to be, um, challenging for the White House Press Secretary, given her insistence that “it’s very clear President Trump did not draw” the body of a teenage girl “and he did not sign it” her fat orange boss but if there’s anyone who can snap angrily at reporters and look like a complete asshole while doing so then it’s America’s top official kommunicator, the one and only Karoline.