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“Michael Waltz has learned a lesson, and he’s a good man,” convicted felon President Trump told NBC in a “brief interview on Tuesday,” per the New York Post, the fat bastard Susan Collinsing away whatever concerns he had with his National Security Advisor after Waltz got his lesson.

“The only glitch in two months,” Trump said, “and it turned out not to be a serious one.” Lol.

The orange slob did not address anything about Vice President Jaydee Vance questioning his infinite wisdom in ordering the strikes on the Iranian-backed Yemeni minority’s terrorist militia, especially noteworthy given that those assholes had attacked a US Navy vessel first, so why the fuck would our military not want to respond to a threat on American sailors? Trump was right to do it, even if he was full of shit about such provocations only occurring while Joe Biden was president.

Senate Intel Committee Chair @SenTomCotton: "The Biden Administration authorized Signal as a means of communication that was consistent with presidential recordkeeping requirements for its administration — and that continued into the Trump Administration." pic.twitter.com/7kgz4O1seO

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) March 25, 2025

This is great stuff. Fucking world class. It’s like Trump’s team have a talking point memo ready on why Roosevelt and Truman are to blame for authorizing the Manhattan Project if Pete Hegseth drunkenly ordered the Air Force to drop a nuke on Disney World. They’re so friggin creative, right?

“Some Republicans in Congress are pushing to enact tax cuts quickly before a potential recession, according to three GOP tax advisers, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations,” says the second sentence of the Washington Post’s Tuesday morning article headlined “Clock ticks on Trump and GOP’s ‘big, beautiful’ bill on taxes,” detailing the urgency.

Copied that piece of reportage verbatim as it very wonderfully captures where the MAGA party’s heads are at right now, that they know they won’t be able to justify the handouts politically when millions find themselves unemployed and their businesses hurting, so they’re trying to charge ahead with it now as fast as they can. They know few if any of the hapless dipshit swing voters who bought into Trump’s sweet nothings about lowering gas and grocery prices are going to be reading the Post’s article so they can just go ahead and say it without fear of nearer-term consequence.

“Bro, what’s a signal app and who gives a shit? Yo all the politicians all the same anyway, they all crooks. I voted for Trump and I do it again because he out there telling Canada they ain’t shit which is what the president fuckin do, ain’t it? I seen him on TikTok making moves like that. Now he say he gonna lower taxes and I ain’t gonna have to pay as much. How that a bad thing?”

MAGA former Minnesota state Senator Justin Eichorn, who just eight days ago was having fun sponsoring a bill that would add “trump Derangement Syndrome” to the state’s mental health statutes, is now single again as his wife Brittany filed for divorce on Monday due to infidelity issues made worse by being caught in an underage prostitute sex sting, Northern News Now reports.

Which has to be heartbreaking for him that Brit’s unwilling to patch things up, but it’s best for him to move on and enjoy his freedom to have as much sex as he wants over the next decade or longer.

Fucking Politico Playbook already headlined their section “The Last Waltz?” Really wanted that for the headline here. Goddamned pricks. Anyway they point out that convicted felon President Trump hasn’t made any public show of support for his jackass National Security Advisor for inviting Atlantic Editor-in-Chief Jeffrey Goldberg to a chat group he and his fellow morons in charge of protecting the United States shouldn’t have even been having the first place on that goddamned app. The Wall Street Journal meanwhile reports that it’s not clear yet if Waltz will be fired and it could go either way but the Orange Pharaoh was asking his minions how the assclown could’ve been so sloppy.

In not that related but still fitting news from Waltz’s old district, Florida’s 6th, set to hold a special election to replace him next Tuesday: NBC News reports complete fucking asshole Republican candidate state Senator Randy Fine is not doing so fine and it’s making dipshit NRCC chair Dick Hudson nervous. Not like rip his hair out nervous over a Trump +30 district but nervous enough considering that Fine’s been outraised by Dem opponent Josh Weil by nearly 15-to-1.

“I would have preferred if our candidate had raised money at a faster rate and gotten on TV quicker,” Hudson said Monday. “But he’s doing what he needs to do. He’s on TV now. We’re going to win the seat. I’m not concerned at all.” Hudson this month also said “We’re on the side of the angels. We’re doing what the American people asked us to do, what 77 million people voted for Donald Trump to get. We’re going to pick up seats” in 2026 soooooooo… We’ll see how it goes. At least expect significant Dem improvement because it’s a special and Ds overperform in all of them these days.

So hated is Fine that other Florida Republicans are secretly kind of rooting for Weil, with one telling NBC “there would be no tears shed for Fine if he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.”

20-year-old smut peddler Sophie Rain said her Christian faith has been a guiding light for her, and she still has a fruitful relationship with her church — though she admitted to only attending virtual services via her phone and rarely attending in person. https://t.co/bMBlnl2qFB

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) March 25, 2025

FINALLY Breitbart grows some balls and decides to be honest about a so-called “Christian” on the hypocrisy of her ways. Better late than never for them to tell it like it is about some influential Caucasian constantly suckering incels out of their money while preaching faith and virtue only to turn around and promote sin. What a savage takedown. Welcome to the Resistance, Breitbart!

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime have sent over 60 colleges and universities demands for the names and “national origin/ethnicity/shared ancestry,” of any students involved in incidents of harassing Jewish classmates “on the basis of their Jewish ancestry,” with the pretty obvious intent of identifying those who could be subject to deportation, the Washington Post reports.

On top of Mahmoud Khalil, who the regime on Monday claimed to have lied about working with UN relief agency UNRWA that the MAGA kids purport to be a terrorist front organization, Trump’s stormtroopers are also trying to apprehend a Columbia junior who is a legal permanent resident since she was 7 years old, a British-Gambian dual national Cornell grad student on a visa, and an Indian-born Georgetown postdoctoral fellow green carder married to a US citizen from Gaza whose father formerly served as a political advisor to Hamas leadership. Happy days for white nationalists.

Dem Michigan state Senator Mallory McMorrow, already being marketed in Politico as the presumptive nominee for the seat being vacated by retiring Senator Gary Peters, tells the outlet she would not be voting for Chuck Schumer as the leader of the party’s caucus in the chamber.

“I think it is” time for Schumer to hang it up, McMorrow said, adding “There’s still this idea that Democrats and Republicans are still abiding by the same rules and still believe in the same norms and systems and structure. There seems to be a lack of recognition that this is no longer the Republican Party. This is a MAGA party. And the same approach is not going to work.”

Reporter: Can you share how your information about war plans was shared with a journalist?

Hegseth: So you are talking about a deceitful and highly discredited so-called journalist who has made a profession of peddling hoaxes pic.twitter.com/JXegFXbdpP

— Acyn (@Acyn) March 24, 2025

A court in Japan on Tuesday ordered the local branch of the Church of the Unification, aka the Moonies, dissolved and its tax-exempt status revoked, capping a rough three years for the South Korea-based far right extremist sect that began with the assassination of former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe by a man aggrieved over his mother’s indoctrination into the cult, the AP reports. The church can appeal to higher courts but it’s going to be a steep climb to overturn it.

Abe, like other conservative politicians worldwide, including convicted felon President Trump and near-lynching-victim former Vice President Mike Pence, have had ties to the Unification Church. Nicknamed for their founder, the late Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who thought he was Jesus and that Korean people were the master race (a belief that the church’s non-Korean membership willingly agrees with), the Moonies are a serious financial suck on their adherents, and the shooter, 42 year-old Tetsuya Yamagami, believed his mother was bankrupted by her devotion to the Unification Church and took it out on Abe, blasting him in the back with a homemade shotgun.

The Moonies have deep links to the American Conservatives, roping in Pence to speak at their 2022 global forum in Seoul (with Trump also addressing them via video), and owning the UPI wire service, the Washington Times, and other media outlets, not to mention the New Yorker hotel.

Following Abe’s assassination, the Moonies put out a statement saying “guns have no place in our religious beliefs or practices,” which might be technically correct about their mainline branch. It’s also a flat out lie when you consider the Pennsylvania sub-sect called the “Church of the Iron Rod,” founded by one of Moon’s sons, and whose religious beliefs and practices often feature a golden, jewel-encrusted AK-47. Republican Pennsylvania state Senator Doug Mastriano considers himself a friend of the Iron Rod crew, as do traitor Mike Flynn and alcoholic degenerate Steve Bannon.

The whole lamestream media is going crazy over the text message thing with the Jeffrey Goldbrick guy and the Houthis and it’s hard to escape the feeling of why is this such a big deal when Hillary Clinton deleted all of those emails? What about that? Where was the media when then?

How come she never faced any consequences for that or the uranium thing? Libs say this new story with the patriots Pete Hegseth, JD Vance, Tulsi Gabbard, and Mike Waltz is a major breach of national security but they never got mad when Hillary acid-washed her secret bathroom server. She used some kind of acid that could melt the hard drives and vaporize them but CNN has refused to report on it for 10 years and NOW they want to do wall-to-wall coverage of the Houthi attack chat?

No wonder nobody wants to watch them. Plus Jeffrey Goldbutt has been completely discredited over his losers and suckers hoax because Jim Jordan said that Trump never said those things. The text chat that he was a part of showed that the Trump Administration is a really strong team that collaborates positively and even uses cool emojis to affirm each other. You can bet that Kamala’s national security and Defense Department team never would’ve worked that well together.

In fact it would’ve been so much worse. They probably would’ve texted nuclear secrets to the Ayatollah or Tren de Aragua or even Bill Gates. America is so lucky she didn’t win. This sill Atlantic story is nothing compared to what could have happened in the nightmare of a Harris Administration.

In conclusion, we never got the bottom of what happened with Hillary’s emails and Congress should open up an investigation into her server and acid-washing practices immediately.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this woefully insufficient attempt to color within the lines of Poe’s Law on how to message 👊🇺🇸🔥-gate. Actually 👊🇺🇸🔥-ghazi probably works better.

In an article that demonstrates them being actually useful, printed on the same day as their incredibly fucking insufferable “Dems in disarray” circlejerk, Axios reports that the White House has ordered the Social Security Administration to begin their planned gutting of phone-based services vital to seniors and disabled folks unable or unwilling to use the internet, a de facto reduction in recipients by creating unnecessary barriers to apply for and accessing benefits.

Incel administrator Leland Dudek is pursuing an expedited schedule for the cuts, saying what would normally take two years is being done in two weeks. Move fast and break things faster.

An unnamed Seattle pedophile made an unforced error when he threw out a shit ton binders full of child porn along with some personal files containing his name, making it real easy for cops to track him down after two homeless people found the binders and alerted police earlier this month, KIRO reports. Scroll down for a comment section filled with suggestions on who should hire him.

Florida gas prices drop to ‘lows not seen in more than a year’ https://t.co/wE1Z4jZ2Ei

— GOP (@GOP) March 24, 2025

Great of them to be pretending to stay on top of this. But just click “like” and not the article itself, otherwise you’d have to read the part where the AAA guy says “Low oil prices and strong gasoline production numbers have helped push gas prices to lows not seen in more than a year. However, it’s not clear how much lower prices will go. Springtime factors like refinery maintenance, strong demand, and the switch to summer gasoline typically keep upward pressure on prices at the pump.”

And it’s down to $2.97 a gallon now, still pretty freaking far from the $1.87 promised.

Convicted felon President Trump on Monday ordered the Secret Service to pull its protection detail for former Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, the Post Millennial reports.

“If this was the Biden administration would we ever know about it? Of course not. It would be completely covered up with help by the Atlantic. At least the transparency is real here” – The top comment on the New York Post story “Trump national security team messaged plans for Yemen strikes to Atlantic editor in chief in stunning breach,” posted Monday and that right there ladies and gents is an all-time great. Holy freaking shit, lol. The 110 percent ironclad unfalsifiability seems to be trending big these days. Also, what the hell kind of feckless chickenshit cope is “At least the transparency is real here”? Wow. It was the Atlantic being transparent about it, most certainly after some lengthy conversations with national security lawyers so Goldberg was playing it safe.

“If our government is using non secure app to conduct government business that is a problem unless the whole exercise is to get the information out as a deliberate leak” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s article. Love how this asshole starts out principled and inflexible and then keeps the out handy that you know he’s going to end up using. The article itself is a riot, picking up where Jaydee questioned the Orange God Emperor’s judgment, with Jim “Pundit” Hoft writing “The chat itself, as recounted by Goldberg, is a masterclass in leadership. Vance raised legit concerns about timing and messaging—proving he’s a thinker, not a yes-man—while Hegseth laid out the stakes: restoring freedom of navigation and reestablishing deterrence that Biden let crumble.” Hahaha, holy fuck.

“Looks like a pretty well thought out discussion and decision making. I see nothing wrong in the conversation. The real question is, were they trying to trap him or was someone trying to set up a leak from within the admin?” – Top comment on the Daily Wire story and Jesus Christ these people with their “5D chess” shit always having to QAnon-ify it everytime their heroes fuck up and fail.

Dickhead US Postmaster General Louis DeJoy tendered his resignation on Monday, five years after he was hired to fuck up the mail system so private sector competitors could take over, freelancer Dave Shepardson reports. It’s not clear why Joe Biden never fired the asshole

Former Media Matters reporter Kat Abugazaleh on Monday announced she’ll be taking on 80 year-old Chicago Dem Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky in a primary – or just running for the seat without even waiting for a retirement announcement from the octogenarian, Axios reports.

Abugazaleh, 26, is the genius behind a satirical bit titled “Conservative Comedy,” with zingers such as “My pronouns are not/vaccinated” and “Cancel culture is ruining comedy… I mean you’re telling me the n-word isn’t funny anymore?” Congress needs more such acerbic mockery of MAGA.