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Supreme Court spikes Alex Jones’s desperate pleas to save him

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday denied certiorari to both of conspiracy freak Alex Jones’s two desperate petitions to save InfoWars from being acquired by the Onion and to overturn the $1.4 billion defamation judgment against him over the Sandy Hook massacre conspiracy bullshit, dooming the raspy-voiced scumbag to having to go and find a real job, USA Today reports.

In related news, the New York Times on Monday confirmed the story about Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche cracking the whip at his feckless subordinate “Eagle Ed” Martin over the latter’s stupid attempt to intervene on Jones’s behalf by stirring up a fake investigation into former FBI agent William Aldenberg – who had responded to the scene of the 2012 massacre and later served as an advisor to the families in their case against Jones. “A ticked-off Mr Blanche asked Mr Martin: Why pick a pointless fight that would embarrass the administration on behalf of a fringe activist? He demanded that Mr Martin rescind the letter, according to three people briefed on a phone call between the two men,” the Times wrote of the misadventure that ended with Martin doing just that.

Worth raising is if Blanche might’ve been more willing to stick the regime’s necks out for the neckless gay frogs nutcase if he had behaved more compliantly about the Jeffrey Epstein matter.

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Shrill weenie Tom Emmer still caterwauling about No Kings rally

It’s almost as though all this cunty whining from House Majority Whip Tom Emmer is meant to demonstrate what NOT to do when you want to message to Americans that the planned protests against the Trump Regime are not actually that big of a deal and the participants are just a disgruntled minority who cannot do anything meaningful to dent the GOP’s confidence and bravado.

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Judge deals significant blow to already shitty case against Comey

Virginia federal Judge Michael S Nachmanoff handed the Trump Regime more bad news Monday in their already weak “case” against James Comey, siding with the former FBI director on the matter of access to the “evidence” against him, giving Comey much freer rein when the Justice Department had wanted to hamstring his defense with a maze of needless and opaque restrictions.

“The Court shares the government’s concern regarding the possibility of inappropriate dissemination of sensitive information as well as Defendant’s concern regarding his ability to defend himself, and both parties’ interest in a fair trial. In balancing these considerations, the Court finds that the circumstances of this case do not support the government’s proposed limitations on the sharing of ‘Protected Material’ with Defendant or prospective defense witnesses, which would unnecessarily hinder and delay Defendant’s ability to adequately prepare for trial. The Court further finds the government’s proposal does not sufficiently define information constituting ‘Protected Material,’ thereby making it overbroad,” the judge wrote, pulling another block from the Reich’s Jenga tower.

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Villages-area Trump fanboy arrested for skipping out on bar tab

A Villages, Florida-area Trump fanboy is currently being held at the Sumter County Jail on $150 bond after he was arrested on a theft charge over a $15.50 bar tab he was unable to pay Thursday night at Gator’s Dockside at Brownwood, Villages-News reports. According to a police report, 37 year-old Kyle James Horne, who likes posting men’s rights memes like “Keeping a MAN away from his KIDS because of a FAILED RELATIONSHIP is CHILD ABUSE in disguise,” on Facebook, first ran into trouble when he claimed he left his wallet at home upon being confronted over the unpaid tab.

Horne then attempted to effect the payment through a wallet app on his phone, but at some point the restaurant personnel saw on the screen that Horne had insufficient funds in his account and could not cover the $15.50 bill. It was at that point that Horne began profanely berating the staff and then fled. The manager called the cops, who apprehended Horne as he was walking nearby. Horne remains jailed, unable to pay the $150 bond, nearly 10 times the cost of the liquor he couldn’t afford.

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Orange Slob rages over Time Magazine making him look bald

“Time Magazine wrote a relatively good story about me, but the picture may be the Worst of All Time. They ‘disappeared’ my hair, and then had something floating on top of my head that looked like a floating crown, but an extremely small one. Really weird! I never liked taking pictures from underneath angles, but this is a super bad picture, and deserves to be called out. What are they doing, and why?” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday.

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Watters and Gutfeld content with their conclusions on why Tom Homan is not guilty of bribery or why it doesn’t matter if he is guilty

Date-rapey Fox Newsbro Jesse Watters and fey short kid Greg Gutfeld who Watters lets hang out with him to make him feel even more self-confident worked through their feelings about the Tom Homan bribery shitshow on Monday, assuring themselves and viewers that either it isn’t true. Or that it is true but it was some kind of entrapment scheme by the Biden DOJ. Or that if it is true it doesn’t matter because he’s a Republican and the pro-Democrat media have already disqualified the case against Homan because of all of their years of biased coverage so it’s completely fine.

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Texas Republicans to find way to blame Biden for flood deaths

“Lt Gov Dan Patrick and Speaker of the Texas House Dustin Burrows today announced the Senate and House General Investigating Committees on the July 2025 Flooding Events. Created by Senate Resolution 2 and House Resolution 177 from the second called special session of the 89th Legislature, these committees will meet jointly. Upon announcement, Lt Gov Patrick and Speaker Burrows named committee members and issued the following statements: ‘In July, Texans were deeply saddened by the deadly flooding on the Guadalupe River, where amongst many others, 27 vibrant young girls were lost from one camp, Camp Mystic,’ said Lt Gov Dan Patrick.”

“‘I was shocked to see Camp Mystic begin signing up campers for next year with so many questions unanswered about what happened that fateful morning. Today, I appointed the members of the Senate General Investigating Committee on the July 2025 Flooding Events to get to the bottom of exactly what occurred. This committee’s task is to examine the facts and circumstances surrounding the July flooding, including actions taken at youth summer camps. The families who lost their precious daughters deserve answers, as do all Texans, on exactly what happened on July 4th. Camp Mystic has not spoken publicly on the record as to what happened that morning. They will be invited to testify, as will others involved in this flooding event,'” says a joint press release from Texas Lt Governor Dannie Goeb, aka Dan Patrick, and Speaker of the state House Dustin Burrows.

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Apple TV+ undergoes rebrand, now known as Apple TV

Noticing that the “+” was abruptly minus-ed from the logo for the tech leviathan’s video streaming service, Variety looked into it and found a mention that “Apple TV+ is now simply Apple TV, with a vibrant new identity,” in the press release for the upcoming debut of Apple Studios’ blockbuster hit F1:The Movie in the now-nonplussed service’s catalog. The “vibrant” part is also pretty accurate as there will be a subtle rainbow spectrum gradient on the app icon in the next iOS update.

The rebrand follows that of HBO Max to just “Max” which then de-rebranded to HBO Max. Disney+, Paramount+, ESPN+, AMC+, BET+, MGM+, Hallmark+, NASA+, and Truth+ remain fully plussed.

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Republican voter rages at piece of shit house built by PulteGroup

Financial clickbait content mill site MoneyWise reports that a Henderson, Nevada registered Republican voter is freaking pissed after the $1.3 million house he bought from 55+ community chain Del Webb is crumbling steadily, all thanks to shitty construction by megabuilder PulteGroup.

“My house is tilting an inch and a half from the rear to the front… everything is unstable and uneven and I can’t afford to fall,” says 82 year-old Willie Barron, who in all likelihood voted to return to power the president who then hired the scion of Pulte Group, Bill Pulte, to run the Federal Housing Finance Agency and make fake criminal referrals for New York Attorney General Letitia James, Senator Adam Schiff, and Fed Governor Lisa Cook. It’s not PulteGroup’s first rodeo with shitty construction as MoneyWise writes they have “faced major legal consequences in Florida. In 2018, the company agreed to a $78.7 million judgment to resolve claims over stucco defects. It also reached a settlement with the Florida AG that required millions in restitution and repairs for homeowners.”

Norberto Cisneros, attorney for Barron and several of his neighbors, calls it one of the worst cases he’s ever seen and warns that repairing the soil underneath the houses to ensure their stability could cost up to half a million each – if they can get the work done in time before a major flash flood or even moderate earthquake strikes the area. “If it’s large enough… this house will go down and affect the houses below us,” said other registered Republican PulteGroup victim John Penn.

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“The fact that a private conference was marketed as a government-hosted event to unveil government policy startled ethics experts”

The above headline is a slight truncation of a line in a Monday Wall Street Journal article, printed under the headline “Trump Allies Sold Sponsorships to What Appeared to Be a Treasury Event. It Wasn’t.” The actual line in the article was “The fact that a private conference was marketed as a government-hosted event designed to unveil US government policy startled ethics experts,” worth noting because Jesus Christ, what the hell surprises anyone anymore, especially “ethics experts”?

It’s just a networking event for synergizing industrial-scale graft. Nothing to get freaked out about if you’re the type of person already freaked out about the boundless corruption of the MAGA swamp.

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British woman done dating ChatGPT-coached milquetoasts

Single British woman Rachel tells the Guardian her convos with a man she had connected with on dating app Hinge had been going very well. “From the beginning he was asking very open-ended questions, and that felt refreshing,” says Rachel. “I’ve been reading a bit about attachment styles lately, it’s helped me to understand myself – and the type of partner I should be looking for. Have you ever looked at yours? Do you know your attachment style?” was the man’s intro and lol.

Holy shit that overwritten nonsense should’ve been a giant red flag right there. Continuing: “It was like he was genuinely trying to get to know me on a deeper level. The questions felt a lot more thoughtful than the usual, ‘How’s your day going?'” Rachel said. “They were like things that you read in self-help books – really personal conversations about who we are and what we want for our lives.”

Then came the big night of their first IRL meeting at a pub. The man was boring and awkward, not charming or witty at all. “I felt like I was sitting opposite someone I’d never even spoken to. I tried to have the same sort of conversation as we’d been having online, but it was like, ‘Knock, knock, is anyone home?’ – like he knew basically nothing about me. That’s when I suspected he’d been using AI,” said Rachel, adding she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was nervous or not feeling well on that first date, so she met up with him again. No luck, so she ghosted on the man.

“I’d already been ChatGPT-ed into bed at least once. I didn’t want it to happen again,” she said, lol.

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Masshole pilot gets fuckin destroyed by naw’easta

A Masshole pilot got fuckin destroyed by this wicked fuckin naw’easta storm on Monday, with the plane fuckin crashin right in the middle of 195 in Dahtmuth, WCVB repawts. It’s not clear if the pilot said “Nawt listenin to the fuckin queahs sayin it’s too windy to fly” or similar before taking awf but the fuckin plane made like a half mile befaw it exploded on 195 killin the pilot and a passengah.

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Norwegian officials suspect cyberespionage in Nobel leak

Nobel Institute officials told local media on Monday that the assholes who correctly placed bets on Venezuelan activist Maria Corina Machado as the 2025 Peace Prize laureate had gained her identity by hacking rather than anyone with the committee having leaked it intentionally, CBS News reports.

“I don’t think there have ever been any leaks in the entire history of the prize. I can’t imagine that’s the case,” committee chairman Jorgen Frydnes told NTB news, adding that the hackers “could make it appear as if someone on the inside deliberately leaked information. That is not likely. It’s too certain to say for sure, but it’s no secret that the Nobel Institute is subject to espionage. It is obvious that the institution is of interest to actors who want to acquire information, both states and other organizations. The motives can be both political and economic. This has been going on for decades.”

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Sean Duffy just asking questions he’ll stop caring about in a week

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Mike Johnson still has “PTSD” from failing to repeal Obamacare

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson continued his self-inflicted misery in front of the press on Monday morning by being very open about the fact that there is no plan, none whatsoever, to replace Obamacare, and the GOP never had one when they failed to do so in 2017, something Johnson shared his hidden secret of having suffered psychological trauma through in those days.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Karoline vows to continue promising to take action against fraud

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Fat idiot selective in his propaganda, per usual

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Hissy catfight rages in front of amused gawkers

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Patriots WR charged with not as bad as Aaron Hernandez

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German thieves pull off pretty kickass bank vault heist

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Federal judge finds regime in violation of order in CFPB case

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Team Orange told of Homan bribery days before inauguration

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“My friends will get hurt”

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“He has a grand master plan most of us probably don’t understand”

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Steve would be enjoying Saturday night with his wife and kids…

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FBI agents told to ignore K$H if he shows up at major crime scene

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Movie Night Friday: Midway

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Jeff’s friend commands DOJ to “embarrass” Dems

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Loomer feeling better again

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