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First son and acclaimed paint artist Hunter Biden’s legal team on Monday demanded Fox News remove all their nude images of him and apologize for all the bullshit stories about “bribery” or face a defamation lawsuit, CNN reports on Hunter smelling blood after that whole Dominion thing.

Commie Karen thinks she’s above the law. https://t.co/J0njbgI4LE

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) April 29, 2024

Twitter’s leading conservative thinker probably should’ve read up on Monroe County DA Sandra Doorley, who’s actually about as MAGA as they come, before he called her a “Commie Karen” over her refusing to pull over and then cursing out a local cop after she was caught speeding.

Just hours before the deadline on Friday, Aaron Dimmick, former naval aviator backed by vengeful loser former Speaker Kevin McCarthy filed the paperwork to enter a Republican primary challenge to credibly suspected statutory rapist Matt Gaetz in Florida’s 1st District, PNJ.com reports.

The US Supreme Court on Monday issued a unanimous ruling in former White House Economic Dickbag and shitty board game entrepreneur Peter Navarro’s petition to be released from jail, freeing the addled 70-something conspiracy theorist from federal prison… when his four month sentence for criminal contempt of Congress ends in July. And yes that was a lame bait and switch but it would be pretty fucking funny if that was the way his lawyers told him that Los Supremos denied cert.

The court on Monday also validated Elon Musk’s claim that his First Amendment free speech rights are being violated… by declining to hear his complaint claiming that a settlement he agreed to with the Securities and Exchange Commission violated his First Amendment free speech rights.

Never trust a junkie pic.twitter.com/f2ZxDmWJg5

— Ramble_Rants (@ramble_rants) April 29, 2024

The “Dilley Meme Team,” which previously brought you hits like “Trikki Nikki,” depicting former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley as a street hooker and “God made Trump,” depicting former President Trump as the Third Revelation, has now turned their fire on Robert F Kennedy Jr, almost certainly on orders from the highest echelons of the Trump Campaign following a panicked reversal by the fat orange fuck over a small handful of national polls finding the recovered heroin addict taking more Trump than Biden votes. Again, just last month Trump posted triumphantly that Kennedy “is going to be taking votes from Crooked Joe Biden, which would be a great service to America… He is Crooked Joe Biden’s Political Opponent, not mine. I love that he is running!”

Sources tell the Washington Post that Disgraced former President Trump is tired of Kari Lake’s presence at Mar-a-Lago and is starting to worry that her rubbing elbows with her fellow MAGA royalty at their gilded redoubt/active federal crime scene rather than actually on the campaign trail in the Grand Canyon State to the point where he worries it could affect his chances there up-ballot.

The fat bastard was possibly even worried about what Lake’s wire has picked up after she brought down now-former Arizona GOP chair Jeff DeWit by recording an attempt to bribe her out of the race for the Senate seat currently occupied by useless lame-duck “independent” Kyrsten Sinema. “She tapes everything?” he asked his minions during a meeting in New Hampshire “That’s good to know.”

“She’s the candidate we have,” a person involved in GOP Senate campaigns tolf the Post, even though that’s not technically true given that the primary election isn’t until June 30th. “They keep saying she’s a team player and doing all this travel,” the person said, adding “our position is, if you want to help the team, go home and win the seat,” rather than going to goddamned Mar-a-Lago and MAGA rallies outside the state. Presumptive Dem Senate nominee Ruben Gallego has even visited the southern border more times than Lake, per the Post. Even beyond that others see Lake as falling into the same self-created traps that doomed her in the 2022 gubernatorial race.

“She needs to get away from this idea that the Trump wing of the party is going to be enough to get her across the finish line in a general election. Especially when it comes to general elections here, you have to start talking about things that the broader electorate cares about, and Kari didn’t do that two years ago,” said Arizona GOP consultant Chad Willems. Good luck with that bro.

Israel is concerned ICC could issue arrest warrants against Netanyahu, senior officials: report https://t.co/vV0ZVKhS0O

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 29, 2024

With Jesus dork Speaker Mike Johnson having crossed a shit ton of what should have been red lines for white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene by blocking FISA “reform,” then extending the surveillance power for two years, and getting a $95 billion foreign aid package – a big chunk of it headed to Ukraine – passed, Politico Playbook openly questions whether and when Sporkfoot will actually put her motion to vacate Johnson – introed on March 22 – up for a vote.

Playbook waited five days to get an answer from Greene what the story is with that, even as she angrily tweets stuff like “Johnson will do whatever Biden/Schumer want in order to keep the Speaker’s gavel in his hand, but he has completely sold out the Republican voters who gave us the majority. His days as Speaker are numbered,” telling Team Greene that other House GOP believe she’s full of shit and will wait until after election day to do it if she ever does.

“That’s absurd,” Greene’s deputy chief of staff Nick Dyer told them, adding that they’re “not going to tell the press” her timeline, even though the last time this happened Matt Gaetz moved fairly quickly, taking less than a day to follow though on his threats to vacate McCarthy. “Anyone who is saying she is backing down is high, drunk, or simply out of their mind,” Dyer continued.

“Why did Junior’s family go so bonkers at the thought of him running against Crooked Joe Biden? Because they are Radical Left Lunatics, and they can’t conceive of their even more Liberal brother running as anything else???? MAGA2024 Don’t waste your Vote on Kennedy!” posted fat former President Trump on Sunday night, still panicking over Robert F Kennedy Jr after just a handful of polls showing the antivax freak’s presence in the race boomeranging on him.

Four weeks after seven of their colleagues were killed in a controversial missile strike, the World Central Kitchen will restart its humanitarian food aid delivery in Gaza, with more than 275 filled trucks ready to cross the border, CBS News reports.

Chef José Andrés’s Nobel Peace Prize-nominated organization suspended operations in Gaza after the April 1st attack, in which the Israeli military targeted two cars marked with the organization’s logo carrying Palestinian, British, Polish and Australian nationals as well as a dual US-Canadian citizen.  The Netanyahu administration called the attack “a grave mistake.”

“The humanitarian situation in Gaza remains dire.  We are restarting our operation with the same energy, dignity, and focus on feeding as many people as possible,” World Central Kitchen said in a statement, noting that it’s already delivered two tons of food and has another eight million meals ready to distribute.

In a meeting set up by allies of the two men, the presumptive Republican nominee, adjudicated rapist Donald Trump, met with the man once considered his chief rival before sputtering out to gain his support and more importantly, his donors’ support.

ABC News reports Ron DeSantis asked for the meeting with Trump to “bury the hatchet” after his weak showing in the primaries.  DeSantis and Trump had breakfast while Trump was playing golf apparently before his Manhattan trial started last week.

Trump significantly trails Democratic opponent Joe Biden in fundraising:  as of the end of March, Biden’s campaign had $192 million in cash versus Trump’s $93 million.  Many of DeSantis’s major donors are still shying away from funding Trump’s legal fees and some political activities.

HOLY SHIT! Politico reports that President Joe Biden’s brother Jim tried to get money from Qatari government officials to help bail out that Americore Health outfit that had loaned him cash to pay for his house renovations or something. The details don’t matter because never has a presidential relative ever taken money from shady Middle East billionaires under questionable circumstances.

A new CNN/SSRS survey of registered voters finds disgraced former President Trump leading President Joe Biden 40 to 35 percent among women voters in a five-way race that includes Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Jill Stein, and Cornel West. Trump also leads Biden 36 to 30 percent in the 18 to 34 demographic, which should tell you to take this poll – which finds Trump leading Biden 42 to 33 percent among all respondents in the five-way race – extra seriously.

Bringing up Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tiger Woods’s “catch-and-kill” deals was about the best excuse Lindsey Graham could come up with to defend his Orange Allah on Sunday. The best he could come up with after Dana Bash reminded him that Tiger Woods never ran for president and thus never committed a crime by hiding it as a presidential campaign expenditure was “this is BS.”

In a political campaign, candidates leverage what they have available, and for the Furious Fulvous Felon, that means exploiting the shrinking fanbase you have.  On Sunday morning, adjudicated rapist and presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump did just that, reposting about a dozen glowing comments about himself from Truth Social.

The sad part:  only a few of the accounts he posted had more than 500 followers on the unpopular platform.  Trump reposted a week-old story about the Arizona fake electors indictments from the now-bankrupt Gateway Pundit originally posted by an account named simply “Greg” (@DOJ_Reform_Needed) with just 265 followers.  Trump also reposted a reply from “Jere Smith” (@Stella_Bella), an account with just 65 followers, to a Stephen Miller statement.

This is what happens when Trump’s aides comb through his site to find cogent responses to his policies and comments to show him, which he then has his staff repost.  The volume of the praiseful posts overshadows the lack of credibility of the posters–which is particularly sad given the only people posting on Trump’s site are MAGA sycophants.

BONUS by Spartan: It appears one of these re-“Truths” is almost certainly yet another gag order violation to add to Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan’s inbox. “Who is doing the heavy lifting in this ‘trial’? Surely not the half-wit NY locals. It is a DOJ plant sent by this administration (that wants you to believe he was hired by the Manhattan DA),” the user, “misterbill300,” wrote in reply to Miller’s bitching about the trial. Aaaaand we’re pretty sure that’s yet another clear violation, which plainly says he’s prohibited from “Making or directing others to make public statements about (1) counsel in the case other than the District Attorney.” Think we’ll just give the DA’s office a heads-up.

A man who makes his money grifting in religion and politics, anti-abortion activist and perennial losing candidate Randall Terry has been named to the top of the ticket for the Constitution Party, one of those groups that manages to get on ballots around the country, no one ever learns about, but still manages to pull in hundreds of thousands of voters.

Per Politico, the founder of Operation Rescue thinks jumping into the Presidential race at a time when voters overwhelming support wider access to reproductive care will benefit his chances. “We are running for President in the effort to make child killing by abortion the number one voter issue in America,” his 1990s-era design campaign website says. “We will show the horror of aborted children to the American people, and call on Christians to REPENT for having voted for Joe Biden.”  Incidentally, Terry’s Operation Rescue changed its name in 1993 to “Operation Save America,” a brand closely resembling a slogan of a Petulent Persimmon also running for office.

For his running mate, Terry selected Rev. Stephen Broden, founder of the Fair Park Bible Fellowship in Dallas Texas and also a political novice.  An early adopter of the Tea Party movement, Broden founded Ebony Berean, an organization that coaches Black ministers and preachers how to avoid becoming “woke” and how to win conservative “culture wars.”

Getting called to the Big Leagues of Election Fraud, one of the seventeen people indicted by an Arizona grand jury on conspiracy charges for trying to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election in the state has been appointed to spot on the national committee, the Arizona Republic reports.

Days after state senator Jake Hoffman was indicted as one of the fake electors, the Republican Party of Arizona elected him to be a national committeeman at the state’s convention.  The group also elected, Republican Liz Harris, a former state representative expelled from the Legislature for spreading disinformation about the election during committee meetings, to be a committeewoman.

Convention attendees said the new committee members’ election conspiracy were part of their appeal:  “It would be great to see Jake just carry that torch and continue to be the productive pro-Trump fighter.  We’re trying to take over the Republican Party.  By we, I mean pro-Trump, America first, grassroots, ultra– call us whatever you want,” one said.

Thankfully we have a President with a sense of humor who can participate in the light-hearted comedy of Saturday Night Live head writer and co-host of Weekend Update Colin Jost, who will emcee this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner without the fear of capital punishment for making a joke about the guy who says he’s going to be Dictator of the United States, but just for a day.