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Been saying it for years – when it comes to Trump … the Democrats will cheat and the Republicans will let them. https://t.co/UgyndMH8jn

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) April 22, 2024

The US Supreme Court on Monday tossed crazy asshole Republican Arizona Senate candidate Kari Lake’s case against Secretary of State Adrian Fontes over voting machines. Totally rigged.

Disgraced former President Trump’s first criminal trial begins for real on Monday – even if last week’s jury selection was technically part of it – with opening statements from the prosecution and defense before the state begins their case, starting with former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker, the supermarket tabloid hustler who brokered the hush payoff from Trump to Stormy Daniels.

An unidentified man was arrested after breaking into the Getty House, the official residence of the Mayor of Los Angeles Karen Bass, as the Mayor and her family were home, the Los Angeles Times reports.  The man got into the house by breaking a window around 6:40 a.m. and was in the house for several minutes before police arrived and arrested him without incident.  For some reason, the home of the Mayor of Los Angeles is not under police protection.  No one was injured during the arrest, but the suspect was taken to the hospital to treat a cut on his arm from the broken window.

Russian television hosts rave over “demonstrated heterosexual” Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Moscow) who they praise for wearing “white coats with a fur collar” like a strong Russian woman would.

Aware that Arizona’s reinstatement of an 1864 anti-abortion law will drive patients across the border, Democratic California Governor Gavin Newsom said a bill will be introduced in his state to streamline the licensing and permitting of abortion providers leaving Arizona, the Washington Post reports.

Newsom’s using his state authority and his PAC to press the point that Republicans are pushing for revocation of body autonomy.  Newsom’s PAC, Campaign for Democracy, is buying ad time in Alabama targeting GOP-proposed legislation that would criminalize helping minors get an abortion.

“We’re now doing that as it relates to being a good neighbor, not just to those that seek reproductive care and reproductive freedom, but also to our neighbors, particularly in Arizona,” Newsom said on an appearance on MSNBC Sunday. “We’ve got some ideas to help those that seek to get their care in California to have their back as well.”

Loser former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy nailed a short list of grievances to the airwaves of Fox News on Sunday, bitching to Howie Kurtz about Trump being on trial and falsely claiming that Hillary Clinton never conceded her defeat to the Orange God Emperor in the 2016 election.

“How do so-called ‘non-profits’ get away with spending all of their time and money on ‘getting Donald Trump.’ That’s not the deal. We are watching these thugs and sleazebags closely!” posted disgraced former President Trump on Sunday, almost certainly in response to Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW)’s recent complaint to the FBI about a possible $50 million tax evasion scam raised by court-appointed monitor former Judge Barbara Jones in the New York Attorney General’s already won case against the fat fuck’s corrupt business empire.

When these same “sleazebags” had fought Trump all the way to the Supreme Court over whether he was still eligible for the ballot in Colorado after inciting an insurrection against the federal government, the orange slob was pissed but not actually that worried (and correctly so given the court’s MAGA-heavy bench) and as such he made it a political thing, falsely claiming Joe Biden was somehow behind it. That he’s skipping that particular line of bullshit in this post seems to indicate that he’s aware of CREW’s complaint to the FBI and is starting to get worried accordingly.

If it is in fact about CREW’s complaint. Can’t really think of what other non-profit he might be talking about here. Trump also posted “REMOVE THE GAG ORDER!!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE???” and, although he’s subject to no less than three of them from Judges Tanya Chutkan, Arthur Engoron, and Juan Merchan at present, we’re pretty confident he’s talking about Merchan’s in that post.

Supermarket tabloid hustler David Pecker will take the witness stand for the prosecution Monday in fat former President Trump’s 2016 election interference/pornstar hush money payoff trial to tell the jury about how he brokered the whole thing, the New York Times reports.

A new national survey of registered voters by NBC News finds disgraced former President Trump leading President Joe Biden 46 to 44 percent in a head-to-head matchup, which is not great but an improvement over their last national sample in January which found Trump up 47 to 42 percent, thus continuing the “narrative” that “the polls are tightening” and libs should believe them again.

However the real dickpunch to the “horserace” assholes comes with the five-way test of the presidential race when Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Jill Stein, and Cornel West are included in the field, finding Biden leading at 39 percent to Trump’s 37 percent, RFK Jr’s 13 percent, Stein 3 percent, and West 2 percent. Quite a damning result to those who have told us over and over and over again that Bobby Jr is a bigger threat to Biden than he is to Trump despite the observable reality that an anti-vax conspiracy dipshit would have far more appeal to that demographic than most Dem constituencies. Even NBC seems kind of flustered over it, writing “Notably, the poll shows a greater share of Trump voters from the head-to-head matchup supporting Kennedy in the expanded ballot compared with Biden voters, different than the results of some other surveys.”

So keep an eye on the multi-candidate numbers (also there’s still no Libertarian being included in these, who the hell knows what’s going on with those assclowns this year) while also operating under the assumption that most of these early registered voter polls are horseshit and we’re only picking this up as a “fuck you” to those that do take them seriously… Oh wait, there’s one other finding you might like: NBC says respondents’ interest in voting is at its lowest level in April of the last five presidential election years, down to 64 percent from 77 percent in April 2020.

Having slept on it and then deciding that she’s still fucking out of her mind with rage no matter what after the House approved the long-delayed aid package to Ukraine on Saturday, white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Sunday insisted that letting Putin conquer a democratic neighbor was the popular position, despite poll after poll finding on questions about aid finding respondents in favor of increasing US support for a besieged ally running low on ammo.

Setting aside the not-insignificant possibility she’s literally getting paid by Russia vs the maybe slightly more realistic one of her simply freelancing for them, it’s still insane to see Greene and her ilk riffing on Michael Moore and other anti-war libs circa 2005. But even that shit they get wrong. This isn’t Vietnam or Iraq where the “imperial crusade” was launched on the American side. It’s the actually evil empire in Moscow that created the “quagmire.” This is a just cause – especially when no American troops are being put at risk – and it’s utterly demented to be appropriating the other side’s old rhetoric about a military-industrial complex unresponsive to the popular position among voters. If anything taking six fucking months longer than it was supposed to is what was unresponsive.

“Moderate” Republican Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales on Sunday told CNN he serves “with some real scumbags. Look, Matt Gaetz, he paid minors to have sex with him at drug parties, Bob Good endorsed my opponent, a known Neo-Nazi,” referring to far right psychopath primary challenger Brandon Herrera, whose campaign is all about punishing Gonzales for flirting with gun control after the Robb Elementary School massacre in their district. “These people used to walk around with white hoods at night, now they are walking around with white hoods in the daytime.”

Host Dana Bash pushed back a little bit on Gaetz, noting for the record “that the federal government did look into Matt Gaetz and those allegations and they decided not to prosecute,” ignoring the House Ethics Committee’s ongoing investigation into Gaetz for said scumbaggery.

Herrera and three other primary challengers forced Gonzales into a runoff on Super Tuesday last month, keeping Gonzales at 45.1 percent to Herrera’s 24.6 percent second-place finish.

The governor banned from 15 percent of her own state did pretty well on CNN on Sunday, telling Dana Bash that Mike Pence ought to be ashamed of himself for not supporting fat former President Trump after the fat bastard tried to get him lynched, opposing any and every exception in cases of rape and incest for abortion, and refusing to address the evidence against Trump in Manhattan.

On Monday, we’ll see the prelude of a historic confrontation.  On one side, a performer who looks directly into the camera and becomes what you want–a diplomat, an executive, a devoted parent, a clown–for your enjoyment and gratification.  On the other, Stormy Daniels.  On one side, a witness who has been consistent in testimony throughout various legal tribulations, proving a reliable witness.  On the other, a former President of the United States.

This isn’t a sex scandal.  No one is scandalized that Donald Trump had a sexual encounter with a porn star.  Nor is anyone shocked that he had an extramarital affair with a Playboy model.  Trump’s infidelity was known thanks to multiple media reports over the last three decades. This isn’t even a scandal about the women being paid to stay quiet; paying someone for signing a non-disclosure agreement isn’t illegal.

The trial will center on a corrupt relationship between a politician and a national media outlet to produce favorable stories to help a campaign.  Simply put:  this is about election interference.  Donald Trump (allegedly) used his money and connections to illegally pay former lovers, using his company’s money, his lawyer, and his media friends to launder illegal campaign contributions to protect his election prospects.

The Committee of Unsecured Creditors, the group of companies and individuals to whom Rudy Giuliani owes tens of millions of dollars, served more than a dozen subpoenas to Giuliani’s former business partners and associates to determine if Donald Trump, the adjudicated rapist and presumptive Republican presidential nominee, owes Giuliani money and if they can pursue it, the Independent reports.

Giuliani has listed “possible unpaid legal fees from Donald Trump” in an inventory of his assets for a January bankruptcy filing, but failed to provide more specific information until the following month when he listed $2 million in unpaid fees from the campaign or Trump’s SuperPAC, not Trump himself.

In what’s all too easy of a joke because “stormy” and it was his first rally since the trial began, disgraced former President Trump announced via audio to his cult just minutes before he was set to speak in Wilmington, North Carolina that he’s canceling due to, well, stormy weather rolling in.

Too bad. He’s been pretty fucking unhinged lately and was probably going to say something legally and/or politically damaging. Well at least his campaign pissed away a lot of money they don’t have.

The 35 writers who literally put the words in the mouths of Big Bird, Elmo, and the eternal “good friends” Bert and Ernie agreed to a new five-year contract, averting a picket line on “Sesame Street,” NBC News reports.  The Writers Guild of America reported the members approved the deal unanimously in a Friday vote.

The deal includes provisions about improving pay for social media posts, animated segments, and other creative uses of content.  It also provides protections against the use of artificial intelligence, improves royalty payments for streaming use, and increases parental leave benefits.

“We are so proud to work for an organization that values its writers, and we believe this new contract will positively impact writers throughout the children’s media landscape. ‘S’ truly is for Solidarity. We are glad to have a contract in place that allows Sesame to do what it does best — lead,” the union’s unit that negotiated the deal said in a statement.

After the House passed a $60.8 billion aid bill for Ukraine by an overwhelming 311-112 vote, those 112 did not take the outcome well.  Breaking into cheers after the vote closed, a bill supporter passed out Ukrainian flags.  Colorado consort Lauren Boebert went to the well of the House demanding people put the flags away.  Missing link Marjorie Taylor Greene was opening booing members holding Ukrainian flags.  Maxim model and one-time “server” at a strip club Anna Paula Luna grabbed a mike to demand, “Put those damn flags away!”

Fat former President Trump on Saturday complained that his ongoing 2016 election interference/hush money payoff trial is now happening too fast, posting “THIS SCAM ‘RUSHED’ TRIAL TAKING PLACE IN A 95% DEMOCRAT AREA IS A PLANNED AND COORDINATED WITCH HUNT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BROUGHT 8 YEARS AGO, BUT EVERYBODY PASSED. INSTEAD THEY WAITED AND BROUGHT IT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE WORST AND MOST INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT EVER, CROOKED JOE BIDEN. IT IS BEING PRESIDED OVER BY POSSIBLY THE MOST CONFLICTED JUDGE IN JUDICIAL HISTORY, WHO MUST BE REMOVED FROM THIS HOAX IMMEDIATELY. I DID NOTHING WRONG!” on Truth Social.

Weird how he writes that after also complaining that he should be on the campaign trail instead of stuck in court. Almost like he’s not happy with the jury that got picked and doesn’t think he’s going to be “vindicated.” The orange slob also posted “IF IMMUNITY IS NOT GRANTED TO A PRESIDENT, EVERY PRESIDENT THAT LEAVES OFFICE WILL BE IMMEDIATELY INDICTED BY THE OPPOSING PARTY. WITHOUT COMPLETE IMMUNITY, A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PROPERLY FUNCTION!” which could possibly indicate that he’s concerned about how the Thursday arguments at the Supreme Court in US v Trump may not go so well for him.

NYPD officials on Saturday confirmed that St Augustine, Florida conspiracy freak Max Azzarello died early in the morning at the New York Presbyterian-Cornell Burn Unit just hours after torching himself in Collect Pond Park across the street from the courthouse in which fat former President Trump was sitting through jury selection in his 2016 election interference/hush money trial, 1010 WINS reports.

Azzarello, 37, had tossed out a bunch of pamphlets alleging mafia control of educational institutions before lighting himself up. Tragically, it’s hard to see how this would have happened if not for US Air Force serviceman Aaron Bushnell’s fatal self-immolation outside the Israeli embassy in DC on March 25th. Indeed, while no major news organizations have verified them, there are supposedly quite a few posts by Azzarello praising Bushnell’s act. Either way, people have a habit of inspiring each other to commit such acts, so unfortunately these self-arson suicides may continue happening.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline in the United States is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-273-8255 or 988. Please call or text if you need to talk to someone.