Category: Uncategorized

A registered Republican Oregon man turned himself in to cops Thursday after he was hit with nine felony charges stemming from an incident last August in which he drugged three 12 year-old girls who had been staying over with his daughter for a slumber party, People.com reports.

Michael Meyden, 57, who probably voted for Trump, was “unusually” involved in the girls’ sleepover plans and continually checked in on them throughout the night before giving them “mango smoothies with white chunks in them” that later turned out to be benzodiazepine. The MAGA pedophile’s plans for sick enjoyment were foiled when one of the girls dumped the drink and pretended to be asleep. She then watched as Meyden crept up and touched another one’s nose as if checking if she was knocked out by the date rape drug. That girl then texted her mom, begging her to “please pick me up and say I had a family emergency. I don’t feel safe. I might not respond but please come get me 😭, Please. Please pick up. Please. PLEASE!!” at 1:43 AM that night.

Luckily the mom got the message and called the other parents to the house, finding Meyden insisting that the parents come back in the morning and telling her the girls were still asleep. They ignored him and grabbed the girls, taking the other two to the hospital. One of them “walked slowly and used the assistance of her mother for balance, her eyelids were heavy, and she spoke slowly,” per the arrest warrant for Meyden, who’s now out on $50,000 bail as he awaits trial.

Scumbag New Jersey businessman Jose Uribe pleaded guilty Friday to seven charges, including conspiracy to commit bribery, honest services wire fraud, obstruction of justice and tax evasion, months after getting indicted alongside scumbag Dem Senator Bob Menendez for bribing him with a Mercedes Uribe gave to Menendez’s wife, the Associated Press reports. Uribe has agreed to testify against the Menendezes so yeah, they’re probably pretty fucked.

Fat former President Trump and his minions’ lawyers make their closing arguments in their case within a case attempting to disqualify Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis ahead of the trial over their failed post-2020 election coup attempt in the Peach State.

“On February 14, 2024, Special Counsel David Weiss indicted Alexander Smirnov – a longtime confidential human source (CHS) for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) – on allegations of making false statements to federal authorities. Prior to the indictment, the FBI allowed Mr. Smirnov to serve as a CHS for over 14 years and earn a six-figure income, while maintaining ‘extensive and extremely recent’ foreign intelligence contacts. Until very recently, the FBI held Mr Smirnov out as a ‘highly credible’ source whose outing could endanger national security. Only after Mr Smirnov reported that President Joe Biden accepted a bribe from a Ukrainian energy company in exchange for using his official position to oust the Ukrainian Prosecutor General did the FBI apparently take a hard look at this CHS. The Judiciary Committee has been examining the FBI’s CHS program in the wake of recent high-profile blunders, but this new information raises even greater concerns about abuse and mismanagement in the FBI’s CHS program,” writes spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan and his dumbass yokel buddy James Comer in a letter to FBI Director Chris Wray.

During a Friday scheduling hearing to determine when fat former President Trump’s trial on charges stemming from his theft of classified documents from the White House and defiance of a lawful subpoena for their return from the Mar-a-Lago bathroom, MAGA federal Judge Aileen Cannon called Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s proposed July 8th start date “unrealistic,” but did not otherwise hint at when she would like jury selection to start, Lawfare’s Anna Bower reports.

The orange asshole’s legal team asked for it to be pushed back until after the election, which at this point why the hell not. There’s no way a verdict could be reached before November 5th and the calendar should be kept clear for either the DC or, less likely, the Atlanta trial. The hearing will continue into the afternoon but it’s unclear if Cannon will set a new date or leave it TBD.

For those who keep asking this question: Jack Smith’s team explicitly took the position that the so-called “60 day rule” on political cases does NOT apply when a crime’s already been charged.

“House Republicans again commend Subcommittee Chairman Loudermilk and the entire Committee on House Administration for their ongoing commitment to ensuring that there is full transparency surrounding the events of January 6. This ongoing work is especially necessary considering the deeply flawed prior investigation conducted by the partisan January 6 select committee, which instead of delivering transparency, has contributed to defendants, public interest groups, and the media having to rely upon the interpretation of a small group of government officials.”

“Additionally, upon extensive further consultation with the Committee, and at my direction, the Committee will no longer plan to blur the faces of individuals in the footage given the significant logistic hurdles involved and the importance of getting this work completed as responsibly and efficiently as possible,” says Jesus dork Speaker of The House Mike Johnson in a statement.

So yeah just ignore all that shit he said a few months ago about how he didn’t want to make it easier for any of the remaining still-unidentified insurrectionists to be prosecuted.

https://twitter.com/KariLake/status/1763600289792446906

“On Tuesday, March 5, Senator Rick Scott will be joined by members of Florida’s Congressional Delegation for a major announcement,” says a press release from white collar criminal Rick Scott’s campaign, not his office, so who knows what this squidward-looking assclown is up to.

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki “Birdbrain” Haley’s campaign and joint fundraising committee hauled in a combined $12 million last month, lower than the $16.5 million they pulled in January but enough to keep things going at least for another couple of weeks, USA Today reports.

And when she says “election interference” she really just means government efforts to register people to vote. The best part might be when she demands answers from Mike Waltz and gets none.

Florida Governor and failed 2024 presidential primary candidate Ron DeSantis’s frenemy status in the Trump Regime-in-exile is sinking further and further after his passive-aggressive whacks at Donald, sources tell the Daily Beast of the fallout over DeSantis’s private call complaining about “identity politics” in Trump’s VP nominee search and his viability in the general election, as well as his tweet rejecting that batshit plan to use Florida taxpayers’ money to pay Donald’s legal bills.

“People have made very clear in Trump world that if he opens his mouth again or makes those types of comments, I think they’re going to bury him And that’s that,” one source in “Trump world” said. It’s annoying enough when the media uses “Trump world” as a sobriquet for the Orange God Emperor’s court but it’s just on a whole new level when they themselves use it.

The 62 year-old live-in son of a couple residing in the Village of Santo Domingo section of The Villages, Florida was arrested Wednesday on a charge of voter fraud over his casting a ballot in the 2022 midterms while being ineligible to do so due to prior felony convictions in three separate incidents of domestic abuse and probation violations, Villages-News.com reports.

David Robert Morgan, who registered as a member of the Independent Party of Florida in 2020 and then cast a mail-in ballot in October 2022, was flagged by the Sumter County Supervisor of Elections William Keen’s office as still owing $3,000 in fees, thus barring him from voting under the proscriptions of the DeSantis Regime. Morgan’s first arrest on Villages-News’s record was in 2019 when he walked out on his waiter job at Red Lobster and took $179.85 that should’ve been cashed in with his manager at the end of the shift. The manager called him several times to get the money back but got no answer, prompting them to call the cops to Morgan’s parents’ home.

Seattle comedian uninvited by progressive club predicts anger against cancel culture may affect 2024 election https://t.co/4qXascGna7

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 1, 2024

Fox News on Friday implied in a headline that a conservative comedian says his canceled booking will affect the 2024 election because something something regular Americans will turn out to reject such blatant examples of cancel culture. “Jim Florentine, one of the four comedians who was canceled by a Seattle comedy club for being out of alignment with ‘progressive values,’ said that the country is moving away from cancel culture in a trend that may have an impact on the 2024 election,” they wrote in the lead to instill a sense of foreboding in left-leaning readers.

The actual quote from Florentine, a grown man who is apparently a fan of weird early-2000s heavy metal band Slipknot: “You really had to lie and couldn’t tell people who you were voting for. You’re not going to be called a racist if you don’t like the current administration. I really feel like people are having those conversations, whereas before you had to keep your mouth shut on who you were going to vote for. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the election, but I really feel like people are more open about talking about [politics],” he said in response to a question on “the effect that the declining power of cancel culture would have on the 2024 election,” whatever that means.

The article itself was devoid of any jokes or humor, which might have been more of a feature than a bug. Like if Florentine’s political bit is of a “Joe Biden’s so old he keeps talking about how sad he is that his pet dinosaur bit too many Secret Service agents!” caliber then maybe it wasn’t because the jokes are “right wing.” If it’s more of a “So I took her home and then I saw the package under her skirt and I’m like ‘Whoa!’ that was not in your Match.com profile!’ and then he went bananas and screamed ‘YOU’RE A TRANSPHOBE!’ and I’m like ‘WHAT? SERIOUSLY?!? YOU’RE OFFENDED?'” type of bit then well… Yeah he probably wouldn’t be welcome in the “CHAZ” part of Seattle.

Coming off his State of The Union speech on Tuesday, President Joe Biden will make campaign stops in Philadelphia on Friday and Atlanta on Saturday to capitalize on whatever momentum he might have from the extremely important primetime address, Politico Playbook reports.

Thousands of Russians and foreign dignitaries have gathered Friday in and around an Orthodox in Moscow’s southeastern Maryino district, US Ambassador Lynne Tracy for a funeral service honoring murdered dissident Alexei Navalny, two weeks after his death at an Arctic gulag, Sky News reports.

Sky correspondent Diana Magnay says this is not at all what the Putin Regime wanted. “They didn’t want to see tens of thousands of people come out to pay their respects for Alexei Navalny, a man who they didn’t even show on their television screens, who they would like to suggest was simply a Western stooge,” said Magnay, adding the scene proves “thousands of people in this country – as we saw with all the demonstrations that [Navalny] held over the years – who do support him.”

This Donner Party is on! The AP reports that parts of the Sierra Nevada range of Northern California are looking at as much as 10 feet in accumulations of snow this weekend and that, per the National Weather Service in Reno the “safe travel window is over in the Sierra,” and “Best to hunker down where you are.” At least one Lake Tahoe-area ski resort is closed down because of too many flakes.

“This will be a legitimate blizzard,” UCLA climate scientist Daniel Swain said Thursday. “Really true blizzard conditions with multiple feet of snow and very strong winds, the potential for power outages and the fact that roads probably aren’t going to be cleared as quickly or as effectively as they normally would be even during a significant winter storm.”

Trump advisor Sean Hannity gave his boss an hour-long ad on February 29th without any challenging questions or live fact checking–although it should be noted the video was filmed early in the day and edited by Fox “News” so they may have cut the most damning comments.  And we know you don’t want to watch the full hour, so here are the… highlights (?)… boiled down to 71 seconds.

Rambling on in fact-free bliss, Trump casually acknowledges that his trip to the border was a pre-planned stunt with Hannity’s team, arranged a month and a half ago, more evidence that Trump sabotaged a border deal to pump up his campaign while he battles civil and criminal charges.

During closed-door testimony Thursday, prolific tweeter but ineffective legislator Ohio Republican Congressman Jim Jordan tried to corner Hunter Biden with a Columbo-like “I’ve got one final question” at the end of a round.  Jordan demanded to know what the reference to “the Big Guy” was in a memo written by Joe Biden’s uncle about a proposed business deal, but Hunter brought the receipts.

I think that it was pie in the sky. Like Joe Biden’s out of the office. Maybe we’ll be able to get him involved. Remember, again, is that Joe Biden, for first time in 48 years, is not an elected official and is not seeking office.

And so James is probably, like, wow, wouldn’t be great if a former Vice President could be in our business together? And I say you’re out of your mind. My dad knows less about doing cross-border blah, blah, blah, than he does about — I mean, it’s just ridiculous. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

And so I shut it down, and the evidence of me shutting it down is the actual things you have as evidence. Remember that. The agreement, the executed agreement, the executed agreement to create a company that was never operated, that’s what happened. That’s the evidence you have. You have the evidence of the executed agreement between Hudson West Three, me, and Mr. Ye. You have that. Nothing to do with my dad, zero.

But perhaps the best interchange happened when Florida Man Matt Gaetz, who himself has been implicated in drug-fueled sex parties, but with underage prostitutes he allegedly paid using Venmo, questioned Hunter about drug use:

Disgraced former President Trump in Thursday told Sean Hannity that President Joe Biden had visited an area of the border “where the governor and myself have done a good job on, and essentially nobody is coming through. So you are not seeing it,” which would mean that the area that Trump and his Low Energy pal had done a bad job securing the border in Eagle Pass, right?

The fat bastard also bragged about acing a “very tough” cognitive tests that asked him to choose between pictures of a lion, a giraffe, a whale, and a shark to identify which one’s a lion. Then he called for a national abortion ban, even though he kind of isn’t supposed to be saying that.

Special Counsel Jack Smith proposed a July 8th start for Donald Trump’s Florida federal trial for allegedly illegally possessing classified documents, while Trump’s team submitted a schedule that would start the trial on August 12th, less than two months before the November presidential election.

The schedule will give the Supreme Court time to hear the April 22nd performance art piece where it will either reject the idea of absolute presidential immunity or it will destroy the Constitution.  Of course, the Department of Justice has an unofficial policy of not starting any public investigations that could impact politics within two months of an election, which could be considered depending on the length of trial; however, this is out of DOJ’s hands and completely controlled by the Court.