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President Biden on Monday will preside over a ceremony in which two particularly stupid-looking and unintelligent dinosaur-like creatures will be spared from the slaughter that will see tens of millions of their kin consumed in a gruesome annual ritual. Other “traditions” commonly associated with “Thanks-Giving” include heavy alcohol consumption, throwing footballs, political arguments between racist Fox News-watching uncles and nose-pierced vegan lesbian nieces fueled by heavy alcohol consumption, political arguments between less-stereotypically arrayed combatants fueled by heavy alcohol consumption, and hand-traced turkey decorations cut from construction paper.

Cops in Paris on Friday arrested Senator Joel Guerriau, a member of the “center-right” Horizons Party, two days after fellow center-right lawmaker Sandrine Josso reported she had “felt unwell” after having a glass of champagne at Guerriau’s place – which it turned out to have been spiked with ecstasy because Monsieur Pepe LePew was trying to date rape her, Fox News reports.

The Philadelphia chapter of Ku Klux Karen group Moms for Liberty, an organization dedicated to protecting school kids from the malign influences of “groomers” and books with “Critical Race Theory” and all sorts of other shit either grossly exaggerated or simply made-up, has assigned their “faith outreach” efforts to Pastor Phillip Fisher Jr, a 36 year-old registered sex offender who in 2012 pleaded guilty to molesting a 14 year-old boy, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports.

Fisher claims he was railroaded into the guilty plea, which he supposedly did not tell the Moms for Liberty assholes about it – or so they said to the Inquirer. The chapter president Sheila Armstrong says she only found out when the state sent her a “child abuse history certification” so Fisher could participate in an upcoming Christmas party for a separate autism charity Armstrong runs.

You’d think a group whose whole organizing principle is paranoia, suspicion, and above all deep hostility to pederasty real or imagined would’ve done its homework. Pun maybe intended.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers and Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team will face off in front of a three-judge panel at the DC Circuit Court of Appeals on Monday to at least temporarily decide the ultimate champion of the legal universe in whether or not the fat fuck can be subjected to a gag order – stayed by the Appeals Court 17 days ago – ahead of his March 2024 trial on federal conspiracy charges for his failed post-2020 election coup attempt.

Several dozen MAGA Georgians showed up to the Reformation Brewery outside of Atlanta on Saturday to hear indicted former state Republican Party Chair David Shafer say if he “had to do it all over again, knowing the trouble that would come on me, I do not know that I would have done anything different. I can’t think of anything I would have done different,” as he implored them to buy raffle tickets and $30 lunch combos to help pay the legal bills for himself and his 14 remaining co-defendants in the Trump 2020 election conspiracy case, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

Photos of the “crowd” sitting in front of the stage appear almost as if they were taken in a bluer state during mandatory “social distancing” three years ago. Actually the Journal-Constitution’s politics guy Greg Bluestein’s description of a “few dozen” supporters showing up might be a charitable embellishment as the two pics do not show any more than nine fans watching. It’s quite possible that the Georgia GOP spent more money renting the venue and on the raffle prizes than they actually were able to collect from what Bluestein described as a “sparse crowd.”

“Why did [Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis] wait until August [to indict our Lord and Savior and his apostles]? You know it and I know it. It’s so she can drag this out in the middle of the election. You want to talk about election interference? That’s election interference,” Shafer’s successor, current Georgia GOP chair Josh McKoon told the possibly double-digit “audience.”

Argentina verified its election within hours of voting.

The counting never stopped. Cardboard wasn't put up to hide polling stations in Buenos Aires. The results didn't magically flip from red to blue in the dead of night. Amazing how that works. pic.twitter.com/oqvF9mGiAH

— Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) November 20, 2023

Left out of this “Citizen Free Press” post – showing a November 4, 2020 photo of the TCF Center in Detroit where election workers were covering up the windows to stop MAGA freaks from recording them counting the votes (obviously media were still allowed to take pics from inside) – are a number of key facts about Sunday’s presidential runoff in Argentina that don’t necessarily translate well to the “election integrity” fantasies the CFP and their ilk would want Americans on board with.

In their favor, the votes were cast by paper ballot, placed into a box, counted at local precincts, and reported directly to the national election authority. Well actually that last one is a non-starter for right wingers here because a federalized national popular vote election is like AIDS to them. So is voting on a weekend with nearly every school used for polling. And compulsory voting under pain of a fine, leading to an estimated 80 percent turnout. The same-day paper ballots they like though.

And the result too. Peronist Economy Minister Sergio Massa actually conceded before the votes were fully counted because the deranged populist Javier Milei’s 55.7 to 44.3 lead at 76 percent reporting made it pointless for him to have a screaming meltdown like a certain obese orange loser did here in 2020. There were two presidential candidates in one election in Argentina, not as many as nine in 50 separate elections sharing the ballot with dozens of state officials and legislators, county officials and legislators, municipal officials and legislators, school board members, probate judges, sanitation commissioners, sheriffs, so on and so forth. It was pretty fucking simple and easy when probably the vast majority of precincts in Argentina handled no more than a few hundred ballots with a single binary choice on them to tabulate and report. “Amazing how that works” indeed.

The National Republican Senate Committee have decided that painting useless “independent” Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema as too liberal for Arizona is the key to putting batshit Nazi 2022 gubernatorial loser Kari Lake ahead of the incumbent and Dem Congressman Ruben Gallego in the Grand Canyon State’s 2024 Senate race, Politico Playbook reports on the bizarro world strategy slapped together in response to polling repeatedly showing Sinema splitting votes off from Lake.

Sinema hasn’t even said whether she’s running again yet, but even she knows there’s almost zero chance she’ll still be a Senator come January 2025. If out of hubris or – far less likely – some secret sense of duty and desire to partially redeem herself she does knowing that she’ll help Gallego against Lake, the NRSC’s strategy sort of makes sense if this was the home stretch. Now they’re just telegraphing their weakness and maybe even encouraging Sinema to stick with it and fuck them.

Happy Joe Biden is too old day! On Monday, US media outlets far and wide will remind Americans that the 46th president is the oldest man ever elected to the nation’s highest office, with stories appearing in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Fox News, CNN, Reuters, NBC, Politico, ABC, Punchbowl, CBS, Bloomberg, the Associated Press, The Hill, USA Today, and others containing words like “gerontocracy” and sentences invariably saying something along the lines of “Although likely 2024 rival former President Donald Trump is just three and a half years younger at 77, polls show that many voters perceive him to project more vigor and energy than the incumbent.”

The stories will quote from Democratic experts expressing concern that Biden’s campaign hasn’t decided on a strategy for appealing to these voters going into this crucial election year, with lots of wallets feeling the pinch from stubborn inflation despite low unemployment and steady economic growth. Also two major overseas wars and a crisis at the southern border, can’t forget those.

The mainstream media outlets will also print a number of opinion and analysis pieces by political experts timed to mark the occasion, with takes ranging from “Joe Biden is too old” to “Joe Biden is way too old,” though a few will say “Joe Biden’s age brings the experience and wisdom needed to navigate today’s escalating crises,” or “Here’s how Joe Biden can turn the age issue around.”

President Joe Biden was born on November 20, 1942 in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He has spent nearly 47 of the previous 51 years of his life serving in federally elected office in Washington DC.

Fox and News Corporation Chairman Lachlan Murdoch went to Kyiv and met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky over the weekend, accompanying reporters Jerome Starkey from UK tabloid The Sun and Ben Hall from Fox News, Axios reports while adding that other specifics were unknown, particularly whether it somehow would signal a shift in Fox’s anti-Ukraine propaganda.

A French island territory off the northwestern coast of Madagascar with a population of more than 300,000 is a risk of running out of drinking water in the coming weeks as an unprecedented freshwater shortage has hit the region, CNN reports.

With an area of 144 square miles and 310,000 people, Mayotte is in the midst of its worst drought in nearly 30 years, but the island is also being impacted by a long-term lack of investment in infrastructure that would have provided rainwater collection and seawater desalination.

The situation is so dire most residents of the island only have access to freshwater for an 18-hour period every two or three days based on a schedule produced by the local government.  The two larges reservoirs on the island are both below 7% capacity.  The French government has shipped in 600,000 liters of bottled water since September, and they’ve ordered all water bills suspended.

Crazy fascist Libertarian freak and hardcore Trump fan Javier Milei on Sunday defeated Economy Minister Sergio Massa to win the presidency of the inflation-wracked South American country, winning as much as 56 percent of the vote to Massa’s 44 percent in a runoff, Bloomberg reports.

Rosalynn Carter, the First Lady of the United States from 1977 to 1981 and part of the longest-wed couple to have served in the White House, died on Sunday in Plains, Georgia at the age of 96, NBC News reports.  She had recently entered hospice care after fighting dementia.  She wed future president Jimmy Carter, then a new graduate of Annapolis, in 1946.

Fat former President Trump on Sunday will address his servant Low Energy Greg Abbott’s legions at his unfinished border wall in some town in Texas. Abbott just announced that after seeing polls with Trump leading rivals by upwards of 40 percent in GOP primary polls for like six months now, that he now supports Donald for the presidency in 2024, as if it was a tough call.

“I’m calling on Speaker Johnson to create a January 6th Select Committee. Releasing the tapes is not enough! There needs to be investigations and ACCOUNTABILITY for ALL of the lies, deceit, and lives ruined. Every member of the Jan 6th committee, Nancy Pelosi, FBI, DOJ, DC Police, Cap Police, Jan 6 witnesses who lied, all need to be subpoenaed. Criminal referrals must be written and prosecutions MUST happen under a Trump DOJ. I’ve said it all along, MAGA did not do this,” tweeted white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Sunday, melting down over who the fuck knows what “evidence” she thinks she found in the Capitol’s January 6th security “tapes.”

Citizens in central Pennsylvania are warned to be on the lookout for thousands of captives who escaped from a regional facility, officials said, with the breakout being assisted by someone who cut large holes in the facility’s fence Saturday, allowing the mass exodus.

According to WYOU CBS 22 in Joe Biden’s hometown Scranton, Pennsylvania, the escapees all match the same physical description:  6,000 to 8,000 individuals, brown hair, brown eyes, approximately 2-foot tall while standing on rear legs, supple fur and a tail about a third of the length of its body.  They are known to be aggressive.  The escapees fled the Richard H. Stahl Sons Incorporated facility in Rockefeller Township and disappeared into the surrounding forested lands.

Police and other local authorities advise local residents on to approach the escapees, because they can attack, although they have not launched a massive manhunt to recapture the escapees.  And under no circumstances should civilians consider taking one home with them because minks make horrible pets.

Later on the in the same interview Mickey Maoist claimed he “wouldn’t be running unless I thought that the Democrats would beat Trump if he were the nominee. They’re going very easy on him right now. They’re not saying much. If he were to be the nominee, you’re gonna see scorched Earth,” as the “electability” argument for himself against the Orange God Emperor.

“FoxNews worked hard today, and were able to find 3 representative voters to go on the show. One was for Crooked Joe, where the person found nothing mentally wrong with him. Another was for Birdbrain, and the 3rd for Ron DeSanctimonious. Considering that I’m leading Biden by 11 Points (WAPO), and leading the Republicans by over 50 Points, FoxNews must have worked very hard not to find a TRUMPER?” writes cable news critic Donald Trump on his highly regarded social network.

About two dozen members of the neo-Nazi group “Blood Tribe” marched on the grounds of the state capitol in Madison, Wisconsin, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.  Clad in their field trip uniforms of black pants and red sweatshirts, the group carried flags with swastikas on them.

The men who proclaimed their pride in their white race hid their identities behind balaclavas and sunglasses as they chanted “Israel is not our friend,” “There will be blood,” and other racist, homophobic, antisemitic and misogynist slogans.  While the sight of twenty-odd pathetic man-children anonymously marching around the capitol grounds like a third-grade outing likely made them chuckle, local politicians denounced the demonstration.

“To see neo-Nazis marching in our streets and neighborhoods and in the shadow of our State Capitol building spreading their disturbing, hateful messages is truly revolting,” Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers said in a statement Saturday. “Let us be clear: neo-Nazis, antisemitism, and white supremacy have no home in Wisconsin. We will not accept or normalize this rhetoric and hate. It’s repulsive and disgusting, and I join Wisconsinites in condemning and denouncing their presence in our state in the strongest terms possible.”

In an odd Saturday special election, voters elected the Republican candidates for the Secretary of State and Attorney General positions, with the elections resulting in the first two women elected to those positions–a foregone conclusion given that Democrats nominated women as well, according to the New York Times.

Nancy Landry, a relatively moderate Republican, beat Democrat Gwen Collins-Greenup for the Secretary of State position, while Trump-endorsed Liz Murrill beat Democrat Lindsey Cheek to become Attorney General.  Also, Trumpian former Congressman and lackey in the Trump administration John Fleming won the race for state treasurer.