Category: Uncategorized

A new University of North Florida survey of the Republican electorate in the Sunshine and bath salts state finds good news and bad news for “Walmart Melania” Florida First Lady Casey DeSantis. The bad news is it’s now even less likely she’ll be the real First Lady anytime soon as the Orange God Emperor leads her heels-wearing husband Ron 60 to 21 percent in the state’s 2024 GOP presidential primary in the full field. Even in a Don vs Ron head-to-head it’s Trump 59 – DeSantis 29.

The good, if way too early, news is that she commands the field of potential 2026 Republican gubernatorial nominees at 22 percent of support, more than twice that of two high profile MAGA Congressmen, credibly suspected statutory rapist Matt Gaetz and convicted felon Byron Donalds, who tied for second at 9 percent. Dipshit Attorney General Ashley Moody came in third at 6 percent.

The survey also found 16 percent of respondents saying Trump “went so far that he threatened American democracy” to 71 percent saying the fat fuck “was just exercising his right to contest the election” on the question of “What comes closer to your view about Donald Trump’s actions after the 2020 election?” That’s not nothing, even if most of those respondents will probably ultimately end up voting for Trump in the general election anyway because muh economy or whatever.

Super exciting property management company WeWork, which is the future of work because if your startup is a tenant you get all these perks like ping pong tables and video game tournaments and an espresso machine in the coffee station where you’re encouraged to synergize with other Series A unicorns in the blockchain space, filed for bankruptcy late Monday night, CNN reports.

WeWork, said to be a holistic ecosystem of a vertical encouraging data-driven engagement and thought amplification within the ideation hack sectors, had a really shitty IPO back in 2019, gave way too much to douchebag founder Adam Neumann when they fired him, and was obviously the kind of business that was going to suffer immensely during the COVID-19 pandemic and afterward.

“Now is the time for us to pull the future forward by aggressively addressing our legacy leases and dramatically improving our balance sheet. We remain committed to investing in our products, services, and world-class team of employees to support our community.” said WeWork CEO David Tolley in a press release, making it clear they intend to limp along to the bitter end.

Exiting a court hearing on Monday which saw another setback in his quest to block a ballot measure enshrining the right to abortion in the Missouri state constitution, Secretary of State and declared GOP gubernatorial candidate Jay Ashcroft on Monday told reporters he wasn’t sure if he would actually serve in the office if he were required to defend such an amendment, KMOV reports

“Anytime a statewide official is sworn in, we swear an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States and of the state of Missouri. If I cannot do that, then I would have to leave my position. I cannot swear an oath and then refuse to do what I’d said I would do. We’re getting into real hypotheticals. What I’ve told you is that I would do what I said I would do. When I take an oath, I will follow it, and if it is incompatible with my moral beliefs, then I would have to quit,” Ashcroft said.

Flashback: Rapper Macklemore was accused of antisemitism years before speaking at ‘Free Palestine’ rally https://t.co/1Fmdl5sQWF

— Fox News (@FoxNews) November 7, 2023

Tomorrow’s not just another Tuesday:  it’s an Election Day for a lot of Americans, and there’s enough on the ballot to push higher participation than normal in many states.  Of course, we here at National Zero will do our darnedest to keep you up-to-date on the results.

In Ohio, a ballot measure for a Constitutional amendment enshrining a patient’s right to an abortion is on the ballot, something Republicans feared so much they tried to sneak a special election in to change the percentage needed to pass an amendment.  Voters will also vote on legalizing recreational use of marijuana.  Both measures were drawing support in the high 50s in recent polling, but the marijuana measure could still be in doubt because of voter couchlock.

In what many consider a bellwether for the GOP’s chances in 2024–and possibly a presidential run for the state’s Republican Governor Glen Youngkin to challenge Donald Trump–the entire purple-ish Virginia Legislature is up for grabs.  Democrats control the Senate while Republicans hold the House.  Should Republicans gain control of both chambers, pundits expect Youngkin to push through a far-right agenda on the state. 

Never have so few people been on edge to figure out who will finish second, but on Wednesday, five presidential candidates–none of whom are leading the field–will face off in Miami while the frontrunner tends to the potential dissolution of his family business.

Per the Washington Post, former New Jersey governor Chris Christie, Florida Governor and real heel Ron DeSantis, former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley, tech bro Vivek Ramaswamy and South Carolina Senator Tim Scott will address, well, nothing really because none of them will want to take on the question of what happens when an indicted felon facing hundreds of millions of dollars in court fines is nominated by their Party to the country’s highest elected office.

After failing to qualify for this debate, former Vice President Mike Pence hung it up.  Eugene Levy lookalike North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum and former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson are still campaigning despite not making polling and fundraising goals to qualify.

“You know, he was behind ISIS.  He didn’t do a darned thing to wipe ISIS off the planet.  He, he ignored the threat of ISIS and you could say he was behind the creation and actual elevation of ISIS, and thank god for President Trump to go in an wipe out ISIS and do it quickly. And Obama is responsible for terrorism around the globe with the funding of Israel…. And so to watch him, in such a weakened state–I look at this guy and I think, how on earth were so many people tricked by him. This is a guy who really should either keep his mouth shut over this because he is to blame for much of the problems, or he should apologize to embolden terrorist around the globe.”

Talk about lacking an ounce of self awareness…  That’s right, ladies and gents, Arizona conspiracy nutter, perpetual candidate-in-the-making, and perpetual losing candidate-in-the-making Kari Lake says the Commander-in-Chief at the time bin Laden was nothing did nothing to stop the rise of ISIS… except get al Qaeda out of the way.  (And ISIS is not wiped out, Kari.  It’s still operating.  He lied to you, like he did about finishing the Wall.)

An old axiom in the legal realm:  If you can’t win on the law, hit the facts.  If you can’t win on the facts, hit the law.  If you can’t win on the facts or the law, hit the table.  Not if you’re Sarah Palin, though.  Half-term governor and failed realty TeeVee star who also failed at her fallback career again Sarah Palin is attempting to revive her defamation lawsuit against the New York Times, which at one point mistakenly linked her campaign to the shooting of then-Democratic Arizona Senator Gabby Giffords, by claiming the required malice standard upheld by the courts doesn’t matter.

According to Politico, the goal is to bring a case–perhaps this one from Palin–to the Supreme Court to overturn the Sullivan standard for defamation in the media, a move that is meant to cripple establishment, mainstream media outlets by assaulting them with thousands of defamation suits in the age of social media, real-time posts by reporters.  A decision removing the requirement for the plaintiff to show the media outlet knew the information was incorrect but printed it to harm the plaintiff has been the cornerstone requirement for defamation suits by celebrities since the Sullivan decision.

While Palin’s lawyer argued the standard was now outdated, the judges from the Second Circuit Court of Appeals told the lawyer that the case is likely going nowhere because the lower court ruling was binding and lower courts are bound to adhere to precedent.  She’d have a better shot at arguing she was never really a person of any import.

California Dem Congresswoman Sara Jacobs on Monday introduced a resolution censuring bald asshole Florida MAGA Congressman Brian Mast for his speech to House last week in which he said “I think when we look at this, as a whole, I would encourage the other side to not so lightly throw around the idea of innocent Palestinian civilians. I don’t think we would so lightly throw around the term innocent Nazi civilians,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports.

Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders will officially endorse her former (but really current boss) Donald Trump at a rally in Florida on Wednesday, NBC’s Jonathan Allen reports.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith on Monday filed his team’s opposition to his bloated orange prey’s bullshit “presidential immunity” motion to dismiss the federal conspiracy charges against him for his post-2020 election coup attempt, with Smith writing in the intro:

“The defendant attempts to rewrite the indictment, claiming that it charges him with wholly innocuous, perhaps even admirable conduct – sharing his opinions about election fraud and seeking election integrity – when in fact it clearly describes the defendant’s fraudulent use of knowingly false statements as weapons in furtherance of his criminal plans. The defendant’s motions cite cases that, upon examination, undermine his arguments rather than support them, and he improperly challenges the Government’s anticipated trial evidence at this stage. The defendant also claims that he could not have known his actions were criminal because, in the past, others who have questioned, challenged, or protested election results were not prosecuted. But the defendant stands alone in American history for his alleged crimes. No other president has engaged in conspiracy and obstruction to overturn valid election results and illegitimately retain power. The indictment squarely charges the defendant for this conduct, and the defendant’s constitutional and statutory challenges to it are meritless. The defendant’s motions (ECF Nos 113 and 114) should be denied”

The Food and Drug Administration on Saturday announced a recall of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets made by Tyson Foods due to possible metal contamination, KTVB reports. The nuggets, composed of the shredded flesh of the evolutionary descendants of the monstrous reptiles who once ruled the planet eons ago, may have been sold by distributors in Alabama, California, Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee, Virginia and Wisconsin. Consumers who purchased the dino meat are urged to examine the packaging – mostly plastic, which is a petroleum product and thus made from the putrified remains of dinosaurs – to see if batch numbers 2483BRV02 07, 2483BRV02 08, 2483BRV02 09, or 2483BRV02 10 are present. If so then please discard them immediately.

Disgraced former President Trump continued melting down on the witness stand during his testimony Monday in the $250 million fraud lawsuit brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James against his corrupt business empire, crying specifically about Judge Arthur Engoron’s summary judgment against him before the trial, saying the judge “called me a fraud and he didn’t know anything about me… It’s a terrible thing you’ve done. You know nothing about me. You believe this political hack [AG Letitia James] back there, and this is unfortunate,” MSNBC reports.

Heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s failing presidential campaign on Monday sent fans an email asking them for $25 if they want the link to the livestream of the evening rally where he’ll be endorsed by fellow Republican Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds, Florida Politics reports.

“Right before Ron DeSantis heads to Miami to take the stage at the next GOP debate on Wednesday, we will be hosting one of our most exciting events yet (Monday) night. With your help, we are going to put on an incredible night. RUSH IN $25. We want you at this event. Chip in what you can now and we’ll send over your link to LIVE STREAM the rally tomorrow night! Get ready for something big.”

Actually the email didn’t say that DeSantis will be endorsed by Reynolds at the rally, just that it would be “something big.” A bunch of news outlets already scooped what it was on Sunday. Great job by Ron turning a somewhat legitimately big deal in Iowa into something sad and pathetic.

Republican former Michigan Congressman Peter Meijer on Monday launched for the Senate seat to be left open by retiring Democrat Senator Debbie Stabenow next year to a tepid response from the NRSC, worried that a guy ran out of Congress for voting to impeach fat former President Trump would split the “moderate” GOP primary vote and hand the nomination to former Detroit Police Chief James Craig rather than establishment-preferred candidate what’s-his-face, Politico reports.

“Peter Meijer isn’t viable in a primary election, and there’s worry that if Meijer were nominated, the base would not be enthused in the general election,” an NRSC memo says.

On a related note, the Detroit News’s Craig Mauger caught the Michigan GOP breaking their batshit QAnon freak chair Kristina Karamo’s promise not to get involved in the primary, tweeting “Peter Meijer voted to impeach President Trump. Remember that” only for the tweet to be quickly deleted after he pointed it out. Later the party put out a press release saying “The Michigan Republican Party remains neutral and supportive of all Republican Primary candidates. Unfortunately, an over-zealous intern posted a negative comment regarding a candidate that does not reflect the position of MIGOP. This matter has since been dealt with and the post removed. Our sincerest apologies.”

Disgraced former President Trump’s testimony to the court in the $250 million fraud lawsuit brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James against his corrupt business empire is going about as well as you would have expected, with Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron having to tell the fat fuck’s lawyer Chris Kise to control his client, multiple sources present in the courtroom report.

“Mr Kise, can you control your client? This is not a political rally… maybe you need to have a talk with him right now,” Engoron told Kise, per MSNBC’s Lisa Rubin. Ten minutes later, again it was: “I beseech you to control him if you can. If you can’t, I will. I will excuse him and draw every negative inference that I can,” meaning Engoron will increase the pain if the Orange Toddler won’t behave.

https://twitter.com/scrowder/status/1721545965402726734

Douchebag MAGA influencer Steven Crowder went all politically correct on Monday in sharing images supposedly leaked by members of the Nashville Police Department of Covenant School shooter Audrey Hale’s manifesto, using the “cr*ackers” in place of the anti-white “slur” cracker.

Now we were told by the fanboys that this manifesto was 100 percent guaranteed to be a trans person’s declaration of jihad against the cisgender world. Instead it’s just white-on-white class hatred. Hale, unambiguously a sick evil fuck, even used “faggots” to refer to the victims in this scribbled bullshit. This isn’t anywhere close to as damning for “the left” as we were promised.

A 21 year-old rural Connecticut man is facing probably at least a decade in prison after cops acting on a tip searched his home and found dozens and dozens of “dog food-sized bags” of psychedelic shrooms with an approximate street value of $8.5 million being stored there, Boston 25 reports.

Weston Soule, of Burlington, CT was charged last week with operating a drug factory and possession with intent to sell/distribute. Details about how the hell this guy was able to grow that much psilocybin, which we were to understand is only found sprouting on cow shit randomly – and thus doesn’t lend itself to such massive quantities – weren’t included in the report, nor was whether Soule was tripping balls when the cops raided. That would’ve sucked for him even more.

“Getting ready to head to the Downtown Lower Manhattan Courthouse to testify in one of the many cases that were instigated and brought by my POLITICAL OPPONENT, Crooked Joe Biden, through agencies and surrogates, for purposes of ELECTION INTERFERENCE. This is the first time this method of cheating in an election has been so blatantly used in the USA as a POLITICAL WEAPON!”

“Mostly done in Third World Countries. Got a really Biased, Nasty, Club controlled, but often overturned, Judge, a Racist, Evil, and Corrupt Attorney General, BUT A CASE THAT, ACCORDING TO ALMOST ALL LEGAL SCHOLARS, HAS ZERO MERIT. A dark day for our Country. WITCH HUNT!” says disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social, just about an hour or so before he has to take the stand on Monday to testify in his defense against the $250 million lawsuit brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James against his corrupt and benighted business empire.

Rolling Stone reports that Trump and his lawyers plan on “intentionally trying to provoke the judge into a nuclear-level overreaction” and get the fat fuck thrown in jail for a night, thinking it would be a good thing for him politically and legally. “When a defendant honestly believes he can’t possibly get a fair trial from the judge, one of the tactics is to antagonize the judge to a point of causing reversible errors,” Alan Dershowitz told Rolling Stone about the “strategy.” Should be fun.