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Federal prosecutors on Friday unsealed charges against four members of a Philadelphia-area truck robbery crew who on April 13 made off with more than 2 million dimes being shipped from the US mint in Philly for Miami while the tractor trailer driver was sleeping in a parking lot, the AP reports.

Shut up libs! Nobody cares that President Trump said Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban is the leader of Turkey? Obama said there were 57 states once! Remember when he did that? And OH, don’t get us started on Joe Biden! He’s so old and he messes up all the time, like when he said “Corn Pop was a bad dude.” Remember that? No, because your lamestream media covered it up! It doesn’t matter that President Trump mixed up Turkey and Hungary. He was being sarcastic. It was a 12D chess move to get you leftist homos all riled up. LMAO! He’s got you libtards chasing your tails! LOL!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after offering our MAGA readers this helpful guide on how to spin the gaffe experienced by their Orange Savior in New Hampshire on Monday.

Republican Nebraska Congressman Mike Flood tells CNN’s Manu Raju he’s been circulating a loyalty pledge reading “House Republicans need to elect a Speaker as soon as possible in order to return to work on behalf of the American people. It is time to put politics and personalities aside and unite behind the next Republican Conference choice for Speaker. I, [name of member], hereby pledge to support the Speaker Designate duly elected by the House Republican Conference-regardless of who that candidate is-when their election proceeds to the House Floor. Further, I pledge to vote for the Speaker Designate on the House Floor for as long as they remain the Speaker Designate,” and so far has gotten eight of the nine candidates to sign it, expecting the last one to be on board too soon.

The candidates themselves probably aren’t going to be the actual problem so much as the rank-and-file, whom Flood is going to start trying to get them to sign on before Tuesday’s internal nomination votes. The actual problem, what this is meant to address, is that Steve Scalise would be Speaker of the House right now if these assholes had just abided by the rules of every House majority conference, both Republican and Democratic, going back however many goddamned years, that say that you vote on the floor the way your conference voted. That’s it. You don’t fuck around on that and vote for someone else. Or maybe you do to lodge a protest vote like Nancy Pelosi encouraged a few front line Dems to do just to make a show of it, but the rest vote as they’re told.

On top of all that they could just sign it and then not honor it. That’ll probably happen too.

Police officials in Detroit on Monday said they were close to naming a suspect in the brutal stabbing murder of Isaac Agree Synagogue President Samantha Woll, who was found outside of her home on Saturday morning, and they’re “confident” her death was not a hate crime, the Messenger reports.

Pretty fucked up that we’re marginally relieved that the horrific murder of a 40 year-old faith leader appears to have been what appears to be some personal crime of passion (no signs of forced entry, per cops), but given the similarly horrific stabbing murder of a 6 year-old Palestinian-American boy by some MAGA scumbag in Illinois last week coming amid major tensions stirred by the Israel-Hamas war, it was on our minds based on the initial reporting. Still awful, less awful than it could’ve been.

Losing attorney-client privilege for your defense is no big deal when there’s Joe Biden secretly behind all the indictments and the impeachments and holy shit this fat bastard is so fucked legally.

Other lowlights from the Trump signing up for the New Hampshire primary ceremony include him declining to endorse any of the House Republicans running for Speaker, saying Jesus is the only person who could get elected, and libs yelling “LOCK HIM UP!” outside as he left the building.

Biden campaign spokesman Ammar Moussa tells the Washington Examiner what everyone’s already thinking about disgraced former President Trump’s plans to withdraw from NATO should he return to power, saying in a statement that “Donald Trump’s threats to weaken NATO and side with Vladimir Putin undermine America’s strength on the global stage and threaten our national security. As president, Donald Trump spent four years cozying up to dictators and making our country less safe.”

“The idea that he would abandon our allies if he doesn’t get his way underscores what we already know to be true about Donald Trump: The only person he cares about is himself. And, it’s exactly why Donald Trump shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office,” Moussa continued in what the Examiner bills as an “exclusive” statement to them. Taking this to a right wing outlet rather than a lefty or mainstream one is pretty smart and we hope the Biden campaign keeps doing it.

So far in this MLB postseason the Houston Astros are 0 for 4 at home with punchably-faced Senator Ted Cruz in attendance, LoseCruz PAC Senior Advisor Sawyer Hackett reports, adding that Astros fans are “begging” him not to show up to Monday night’s ALCS Game 7 vs the Texas Rangers.

🇮🇱 FACT: Israel is BEHEADING Palestinian babies.

— Jackson Hinkle 🇺🇸 (@jacksonhinklle) October 23, 2023

This was going to be a piece about this guy’s Twitter profile. It’s actually pretty notable that a former Tucker Carlson guest/outspoken MAGA influencer with a blue check and 1.4 million followers is going further than Rashida Tlaib with his pro-Palestinian, anti-Israeli rhetoric. Just like the “mainstream” of the Trump right wing is only “pro-Israel” because they’re anti-Muslim, this guy is pretty obviously pro-Palestine because he’s an antisemite, as most MAGA hatters are – honest about it or not.

You don’t want to see the rest of Hinkle’s profile. It’s rife with images of death and suffering being inflicted upon babies and children in Gaza over the last two weeks. You will feel a lot of pain and sorrow, especially if you’re the parent of a young child. All of it is the collateral damage from indiscriminate bombing taken to avenge the horrors inflicted upon Israelis – babies and young children among them – after Hamas terrorists invaded southern Israel on that bloody Sabbath.

“The fight in GAZA is ‘coming home’ to the USA. The tens of thousands of strong young men from the Middle East, that have already ‘invaded’ our Country, and are continuing to come, totally unchecked, will become a problem the likes of which we have never seen before. Crooked Joe Biden is a very ignorant (STUPID!) man, who has NEVER been right on a foreign policy issue in his life. CLOSE OUR BORDER, NOW. STOP THE ONSLAUGHT, STOP THE INVASION!” writes disgraced former President Trump as he spirals ever deeper into a vortex of racist rage and insanity.

The Indonesian Constitution Court on Monday handed down an 8 to 1 decision rejecting a petition to ban any candidate over the age of 70 or accused of human rights abuses from the presidency, clearing the way for current Defense Minister and former General Prabowo Subianto, age 72, and accused of human rights abuses to run in next February’s election, the Associated Press reports.

It was probably the human right abuses thing more than age thing that the anti-Subianto libs were concerned with, seeing as how he was a big deal former dictator Suharto’s regime until 1998.

“As Members of the Select Committee on the Strategic Competition between the United States and the Chinese Communist Party (‘CCP’), we are deeply concerned that the CCP and other foreign adversaries of the United States are working to capitalize on our vacant Speaker position in the US House of Representatives and constant threat of government shutdowns to discredit democracy globally and promote authoritarian governance models abroad. Following the removal of Kevin McCarthy as Speaker of the US House of Representatives on October 3rd, Global Times – a CCP propaganda tabloid – published an opinion article on its English-language website, that stated that the United States ‘had long presented itself as a ‘beacon of democracy,’ but ‘with its domestic political turmoil, this myth has been shattered.’ The article states ‘the failure of the American democratic system domestically has raised questions about American values on the international stage.’ Continued coverage of the Speaker race from Global Times and other People’s Republic of China (PRC) media outlets similarly focuses on the chaos of the US political system.”

“This is the CCP’s message targeting international audiences in the English language, and it’s part of a broader global propaganda campaign to sow doubt about the strength of the United States and our democratic values. Therefore, we respectfully request a classified briefing from the US Intelligence Community (‘IC’) on how the CCP and our foreign adversaries are leveraging current political dysfunction in the US House of Representatives to discredit democracy globally in their efforts to promote an alternative authoritarian model of governance internationally, enhance their ability to form economic and national security alliances, and harm our standing with strategic partners,” writes Congressman Raja Krishnamoorthi in a letter signed by 10 other Dems to CIA Director William Burns and Director of National Intelligence Avril Haynes.

A new survey by Public Policy Polling sponsored by the Democratic Governor’s Association shows incumbent scandal-plagued doofus Republican Gov Tate Reeves leading Dem challenger Brandon Presley 46 to 45 with 10 days to go before the first round election, Mississippi Today reports.

The liberal non-profit news outlet cautions that it’s a Dem-sponsored poll by a Dem-leaning pollster (albeit a reputable one) but the disapproval ratings for Reeves are consistent with other surveys’ findings. There’s also that Presley might see a boost from independent candidate Gwendolyn Gray dropping out and endorsing the Dem earlier this month (though too late for her name to be removed from the first-round ballot). In any case, it’s extremely unlikely either Reeves or Presley will win outright on election day and are nearly certain will be set for a runoff on November 28th.

Family Matters: Biggest developments in the Biden finances story this year | Just The News https://t.co/b2iQ7Aan8D

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) October 23, 2023

An Israeli military spokesman said they will screen to a group of foreign journalists footage recovered from bodycams worn by Hamas terrorists killed during the October 7th attack on towns and villages in the vicinity of Gaza in order to remove all lingering doubts about the severity of the horrors inflicted upon Israeli civilians in the massacres, the Wall Street Journal reports.

“We are witnessing Holocaust-denial-like phenomenon evolving in real time as people are casting doubt on the magnitude of the atrocities that Hamas committed against our people and, in fact, recorded in order to glorify that violence,” said government spokesman Eylon Levy.

ChiCom authorities are investigating after a worker at the Tsingtao brewery in Pingdu was caught on video taking a piss in a tank containing ingredients for the swill, the BBC reports. It’s unclear if the worker himself had been sampling the product and was merely returning it from whence it came.

A court in Pakistan on Monday indicted former Prime Minister Imran Khan on charges of revealing state secrets, a capital offense, a dramatic change to the legal situation for the rabble rouser who’s had a rough go since he was removed from office by Parliament last spring, the AP reports.

“The Failing New York Times story, leaked by Deranged Jack Smith and the Biden ‘Political Opponent Abuser’ DOJ, about a red haired weirdo from Australia, named Anthony Pratt, is Fake News. I never spoke to him about Submarines, but I did speak to him about creating jobs in Ohio and Pennsylvania, because that’s what I’m all about – JOBS, A GREAT ECONOMY, LOW TAXES, NO INFLATION, ENERGY DOMINANCE, STRONG BORDERS, NO ENDLESS WARS, LOW INTEREST RATES, and much more! Maggie Hagerman and the Misfits never called me for a comment. Why would they, they just write anything they want. Whether it’s correct or not is of ZERO importance to them. ‘All the News That’s Unfit To Print.’ That’s why we call it the Fake News!” writes disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social, responding to the Times’s Sunday reporting on Pratt’s texts about Donald.

The part where he calls Jack Smith “deranged” is kosher for now as Judge Tanya Chutkan on Friday stayed the gag order she had imposed earlier last week while the fat fuck’s lawyers appeal it. And Pratt too, for that matter, since he’s a witness in the Mar-a-Lago case. Donald’s also largely lying on the “never called me for a comment” part, as the article says “Mr Trump’s company, the Trump Organization, did not respond to requests for comment.” Maybe they could’ve called him directly.

Preliminary results in the first round of Argentina’s presidential election on Sunday appear to show center-leftist Economy Minister Serio Massa leading at 36 percent to unhinged Bolsonaro-endorsed populist Javier Milei’s 31 percent, and Peronist Patricia Bullrich at 24 percent, likely teeing up a runoff between the Massa and Millei in November, Bloomberg reports.

This isn’t actually good news for Argentina so much as less bad news politically since Milei is a fucking maniac who has proposed legalizing the sale of children and organs – and of course an outspoken admirer of disgraced former US President Trump. Massa on the other hand… How the hell does the “Economic Minister” of Argentina actually use his job title as a selling point? That’s like saying you were the Trump White House Ethics Lawyer on a job application.

Economically however, it is bad news in a country where the reality manages to be even worse that even the most cunty, histrionic exaggerations of “Bidenflation” in America from Trump fanboys, as Bloomberg economist Adriana Dupita says “Massa first, Milei second is possibly the worst-case scenario for markets. It prolongs already-high uncertainty for another four weeks, with neither likely to provide granular detail on their policy plans. Massa could now double down on his populist approach of an artificially strong peso, interventionism and fiscally costly measures.”

“He’s only served one term in the US House of Representatives,” New York Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez says of the run for House Speaker by her foil, Florida Republican Man Byron Donalds, whom she caught lying to the face of the American public in a House hearing.  “He–the last thing that he did in the Oversight Committee was attempt to submit falsified evidence to an impeachment hearing.  I think it helps to know where all the bathrooms are before you run for the [Speaker of] the US House of Representatives, personally, and I think it helps to have some real experience in one of the most complex legislative bodies in the world before you try to run it.”

Nineteen adults and three juveniles were arrested Saturday night after some of the thousands of demonstrators at a pro-Palestinian rally in an enclave of Middle Eastern immigrants in Brooklyn turned on groups of New York Police officers, throwing “eggs, fireworks, and bottles.” the New York Daily News reported.

A video posted on social media appeared to show at least one officer striking protestors, an incident an NYPD statement said resulted from officers trying to take people into custody.  “In the course of doing so, the officer seen in the video is reacting to active resistance by criminals within the crowd,” the statement reads. “The NYPD encourages peaceful protests but will not condone our officers being subjected to any form of violence.”