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Original Report:  A report from Nicholas Wu at Politico that a member of Congress was carjacked at the DC Navy Yard Monday evening, with Jake Sherman/Heather Scope co-reporting that the member was Texas Democrat Henry Cuellar.  There are no reports on the status of Cuellar or if he was hurt.

Update:  10:43 p.m. ET:  Sarah Ferris of Politico confirmed with the Congressman’s office that Cueller is unharmed.

Update:  12:02 a.m. ET:  The Associated Press reports that Cueller was driving in the Navy Yard neighborhood when he was confronted by three men.  His office released a statement:  “As Congressman Cuellar was parking his car this evening, 3 armed assailants approached the Congressman and stole his vehicle. Luckily, he was not harmed and is working with local law enforcement.”

It takes a special person to claim that a 6,600% value discrepancy is just “details,” but that’s what defendant desperately trying to get the approval of a co-conspirator Eric Trump calls the difference between what the company he runs listed as the value of Mar-a-Lago in 2020 versus what he claims it’s valued at now.

But then curiously, the unloved Trump… wait, the unloved Trump named Eric (to be precise) goes on a rant about his hometown, denigrating the city where he and his wife live with a Gish gallop of lies and hyperbole.  And more curiously, after asserting the innocence of his political idol, Eric doesn’t assert his innocence.  Maybe someone’s volunteered to take the fall in a fleeting attempt to win paternal recognition, if not love.  [sniff]

The House Republicans’ overt effort to do… something… to politically damage President Joe Biden’s reelection effort will bring in the US Attorney for Washington, DC, Matt Graves, who declined to team with Delaware US Attorney David Weiss to pursue charges in DC federal court against Hunter Biden, Politico reports.

Two IRS agents earlier told the Republican House performance art troupe that Graves refused Weiss’s request, which would have required Weiss to seek Special Counsel status to file charges in a district other than his own on his own.  A US Attorney can refuse to team on an indictment for a number of reasons, including a disagreement on the law,  or because a case can take up too many of the local offices resources for a less-than-worthy charge.  But Republicans claim that it was a cover-up to help Biden.

New York Democratic Congressman Dan Goldman asserted on MSNBC that if Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy wants to remain Speaker, he will have to accept a coalition leadership in the House. Saying that a “deal” to stay in office will have to be a long-term relationship to avoid repeated far-right efforts to oust him to be effective, Goldman pushed a very weak McCarthy.  A deal, Goldman notes, “that may resolve his Speakership right now, but he is going to have to legislate for another year.  Every single time a rule comes up, he’s going to need Democrats to pass a rule.  So he will then have to enter into some form of coalition government.”

Such a prospect is intriguing given that to enter into a coalition with Democrats means McCarthy would have to concede certain issues to Democrats.  Democrats could demand the closure of the impeachment inquiry or better, force a floor vote to authorize the inquiry which would show many Republicans do not support the political effort.

Just did. https://t.co/zdQk3GblbV

— Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) October 2, 2023

Earlier on Monday our story titled “Defendant says judge should be charged with election interference” featured a video clip of the moment that was accompanied by a description which reads “Fat former President Trump lost his shit during the lunch break on day one of his civil fraud trial in New York State on Monday, screaming that Judge Arthur Engoron ‘should be disbarred. This is a judge that should be out of office. This is a judge that some people say could be charged criminally for what he’s doing. He’s interfering with an election’ before [Trump] went to McDonald’s.”

The last part was baseless speculation, for which we apologize to our readers. According to TMZ what actually happened was that Trump sent his bodyguards to pick up at least six large bags of McDonald’s food for him to consume on-site at the courthouse. National Zero regrets the error.

Credibly suspected sex trafficker and statutory rapist Congressman Matt Gaetz on Monday finally followed through on his threats to initiate a motion to vacate against titular Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, throwing the no confidence vote to the chamber, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, adding that “The Democratic side of the House erupted in laughter as Gaetz left the floor.”

Separate reporting indicates that Gaetz may actually have the numbers to vacate and trigger another vote for the Speakership. It’s extremely unlikely McCarthy will actually be removed, but any need for Democratic support means they can extract concessions from the GOP’s weak figurehead.

The Chachi Arcola of the House, Florida Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz is now accusing Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy of having a secret-squirrel agreement with Democrats to fund the defense of Ukraine after Democrats passed the continuing resolution to keep the government open, the Washington Post reports.

It’s not out of the possibility that Gaetz is right:  a desperate McCarthy, needing to pass this legislation to try to salvage any legitimacy of his leadership, may have approached Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries with a plan to pass a CR with Ukraine funding to secure some GOP votes, but then McCarthy would allow a separate bill to fund Ukraine that would get different Republicans to join Democrats to pass it.  A Ukraine funding bill would find little difficulty passing the Senate.

Former Trump White House Chief of Staff John Kelly on Monday went on record and confirmed to CNN in a statement that Mark Milley’s description of his fat former boss’s attitude toward veterans, specifically one that was severely wounded in combat, as described in a recent Atlantic piece and another one in September 2020, was indeed accurate, ripping the Orange Slob for his disrespect.

“What can I add that has not already been said? A person that thinks those who defend their country in uniform, or are shot down or seriously wounded in combat, or spend years being tortured as POWs are all ‘suckers’ because ‘there is nothing in it for them.’ A person that did not want to be seen in the presence of military amputees because ‘it doesn’t look good for me.’ A person who demonstrated open contempt for a Gold Star family – for all Gold Star families – on TV during the 2016 campaign, and rants that our most precious heroes who gave their lives in America’s defense are ‘losers’ and wouldn’t visit their graves in France,” Kelly, a former Marine Corps general, wrote.

“A person who is not truthful regarding his position on the protection of unborn life, on women, on minorities, on evangelical Christians, on Jews, on working men and women. A person that has no idea what America stands for and has no idea what America is all about. A person who cavalierly suggests that a selfless warrior who has served his country for 40 years in peacetime and war should lose his life for treason in expectation that someone will take action. A person who admires autocrats and murderous dictators. A person that has nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions, our Constitution, the rule of law. There is nothing more that can be said. God help us.”

A grizzly bear was “euthanized” by Parks Canada officials after two campers in the Red Deer River Valley area of Banff National Park in Alberta sent a GPS alert saying the bear was getting too close to them at around 8 PM on Friday, the CBC reports. Poor weather hampered the response but the bear was still on scene when officials arrived at approximately 1 AM. Faced with the bear’s “aggressive behavior,” responders made the decision on the spot to put it down, per a statement.

The incident was not caught on body camera so it’s not clear if the rangers fired a warning shot or anything to try to get the bear to leave the campsite. However it should be standard protocol in these sort of situations. They’re just animals, they don’t fucking walk walk around with pistols concealed in their fur. Now a bear is dead and this goddamned Dudley Do-Right is unlikely to face any legal or professional consequences for it. This isn’t conservation, it’s cold-blooded murder.

Oh yeah, the campers were both dead by the time the rangers got there. That was the real lede.

Exiting the court after the first day of the $250 million civil trial brought by New York Attorney General Leticia James against his corrupt business empire on Monday, fat former President Trump complained that it’s “very unfair” that he’s stuck with a bench trial. The problem with that is, as it’s been reported extensively, that his lawyers didn’t request one. This was confirmed by Judge Arthur Engoron, who said specifically that “nobody asked for” a jury to be seated, so he didn’t seat one.

Merrick Garland gets emotional about democracy during '60 Minutes' interview https://t.co/eaZZQLO0YL

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 2, 2023

A federal judge on Monday set a May 6, 2024 start date for corrupt DINO New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez’s trial on extremely credible, open-and-shut charges he accepted bribes, CNBC reports.

California man Barack Obama Mandela has jumped into the race for the Republican nomination for the late Senator Dianne Feinstein’s Senate seat, according to a listing on Ballotpedia.

Ummm, yeah this is real, or at least real enough. There’s a Barack Obama Mandela listed as an “inactive” member of the California State Bar. It would appear from some apparently self-published books that his real name is “Mark Charles Hardie,” and in 2014 the Times of Israel reported that Hardie, a Black convert to Judiasm, had legally changed his name in Israel to “Barack Obama,” writing that “his lawyer in the United States is working to have his name legally changed in the US to Barack Obama as well.” However “Mark Charles Hardie” still ran for president as a Democrat in 2016 under his original name, so we guess he finally got the paperwork done and added the “Mandela” after that. Republicans might as well try to nominate him. It could end up working out.

Fat former President Trump lost his shit during the lunch break on day one of his civil fraud trial in New York State on Monday, screaming that Judge Arthur Engoron “should be disbarred. This is a judge that should be out of office. This is a judge that some people say could be charged criminally for what he’s doing. He’s interfering with an election” before he went to McDonald’s.

Fresh off talking a big game of “It is going to be difficult for my Republican friends to keep calling President Biden feeble while he continues to take Speaker McCarthy’s lunch money in every negotiation” to a largely empty chamber and then not introducing a motion to vacate against the weak House leader, credibly suspected sex trafficker and statutory rapist Congressman Matt Gaetz told reporters he didn’t go through with it because “no one is in town. It’s Monday on a fly in day at noon. We’ll have more folks later today.” Sounds like bullshit because there’s an at least 48-hour period until the motion goes to the floor after it’s introduced. He could have done it if he wanted to.

Gaetz was coy about whether Trump was for or against the motion, only acknowledging that he had spoken to the Orange Allah, who was somewhat indisposed in NYC at the time of Gaetz’s speech.

A 22 year-old California man who suffered harassment, threats, and doxxing after falsely accused by far-right websites and Twitter users of being an undercover “fed” infiltrating a Neo-Nazi group on has filed a $1 million defamation lawsuit against LSD-brained billionaire edgelord Elon Musk for amplifying the claims in replies to the tweets, the Huffington Post reports.

The shitshow started earlier this year when the Portland-area Rose City Nationalists got into a brawl with the local Proud Boys while both were protesting an LGBT event, supposedly because the Proud Boys think the hardcore Neo-Nazi RCN were federal agents (and so do Republicans in Congress). During the fight a Proud Boy ripped the mask off of one of the RCN stormtroopers and a still of the footage made the rounds on Twitter. Some asshole then “identified” the RCN Nazi as California man Ben Brody, promptly making Brody’s life a living hell, despite the fact that he’s a Jewish college kid and produced his debit card statements showing he was in California on the day in question.

Of course Musk weighed in, writing that Brody was part of a “false flag situation,” earning him the complaint from Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who repped Sandy Hook families against Alex Jones. “Musk made these ridiculously false and damaging accusations based on a tweet he had seen from an anonymous far-right extremist Twitter account… After amplifying the claim for two days, Musk personally leveled these accusations against Ben Brody, and it has led to severe personal harassment and permanent damage to his reputation,” Bankston wrote.

Phil Waldron, a Trump-supporting former US Army colonel living in Texas who promoted a plan to declare a national emergency to halt the certification of ballots in the presidential election on January 6th, was in direct contact with Republicans in the Arizona state senate as they formed their plot to undermine the voters of the state, pushing senators to issue subpoenas to seize voting machines to perform an “audit,” the Arizona Republic reports.

Along with senate Republicans, Waldron also worked with Trump’s legal team and the Cyber Ninjas, the unqualified now-shuttered group the state GOP ultimately selected to undertake a hand recount, telling them what data they should seek information on absentee ballots, Dominion voting machines, computer server security logs and any associated domain names to try to throw doubt onto the final results.

Waldron’s text messages, obtained by the outlet, show that he was regularly in touch with Republican then-Senate President Karen Fann, urging her to push through legislation to seize the machines.  Waldron also exchanged hundreds of messages with Cyber Ninjas CEO Doug Logan.  For example:  “Hey, Phil, when you helped them with that subpoena, did you include the absentee ballot envelopes,” Logan asked in a March 5th, 2021, text. A July 14th, 2021 text read from Logan:  “I asked the Senate where that subpoena item came from and they said from you ;-).”

It doesn’t take a telepath to sense the agony within Trump lawyer Chris Kise’s mind as his demented client rambles endlessly about how his “brand” should’ve been included on the financial statement because that’s what makes Mar-a-Lago worth “50 to 100 times” more than what Palm Beach County, Florida tax officials had valued it at… which Trump thinks the judge simply made up.

Minutes earlier, just before entering the courthouse, the fat bastard continued his rant in a Truth Social post, writing “JUST ARRIVED AT THE COURTHOUSE TO FIGHT A CORRUPT & RACIST ATTORNEY GENERAL, AND A ROGUE, OUT OF CONTROL, TRUMP HATING JUDGE, WHO REFUSES TO FOLLOW THE APPELLATE COURT DECISION WHICH KNOKS OUT 80% OF THIS SHAM CASE. THIS IS THE CONTINUATION OF THE GREATEST WITCH HUNT OF ALL TIME. ELECTION INTERFERENCE!” Let’s hope for an uncontrolled outburst from him in the courtroom today.

In a stunning development, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas did something ethical:  he recused himself from a case in which he had an obvious conflict of interest.  The Supreme Court just issued a notice that it was denying an effort by Trump lawyer John Eastman to suppress information taken from Eastman’s phone to be used in prosecutions against him, Kyle Cheney of Politico reports.

This is landmark:  not the decision, but the recusal.  This is the first case involving a January 6th defendant in which Thomas recused, something legal experts had urged Thomas to do because his corrupt wife Ginni was a key player in the effort to disenfranchise American voters in 2020 and reinstall Trump in the White House.

Ginni Thomas spent months trying to get Republicans on state and federal levels to throw out the results, citing conspiracy theories and promoting ideas like Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton and others she disliked were going to be imprisoned at Gitmo on prison barges.  Legal pundits have said it’s unethical for Clarence Thomas to hear any January 6th cases given the fact that his wife was involved in the plot, including texting Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows to get his help.