Category: Uncategorized

HOLY SHIT! South Carolina Senator Tim Scott OFFICIALLY FILED THE PAPERWORK with the FEC to run for president on Friday! There’s no going back now! Signed, sealed, delivered baby! Watch out Nimrata, the Palmetto State has a new single-digit candidate in Republican 2024 primary-town!

Fresh from his five month bid at Rikers Island, former Trump Org CFO Allen Weaselberg is in hot water with Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s office again as prosecutors are threatening Weaselberg with perjury charges over false statements made to state AG Leticia James if he doesn’t flip on his fat former boss in the Stormy Daniels hush money case, the New York Times reports.

Worse for Trump and Weaselberg is that the cooperation reportedly sought isn’t just in regard to the 2016 Stormy Daniels hush money payments for which Donald was indicted this spring, but with falsifying the Trump Org’s financial statements and other tax-related fuckery. Bragg had dropped a grand jury investigation into those crimes in early 2022, believing he didn’t have enough evidence to convince a jury, but it appears that could change if Weaselberg spills on the Orange Warlord.

Non-Correction: The current version of this article and headline misspelled Allen Weisselberg’s last name as ‘Weaselberg.’ National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

Putting it in all caps and framing it as some sort of appeal to “patriotism” certainly amps up the urgency in comparison to Jim Jordan begging for more “whistleblowers” in his interim committee report on FBI “bias” published on Thursday. So maybe this transparently desperate plea will work better than Jordan’s. But we think Trump’s pitch should include details about how much money these would-be “whistleblowers” can expect to be paid by his minion Kash Patel and/or get free advertisement for their “tell-all” books if they “expose” the “ELECTION INTERFERENCE” by the “THE CORRUPT FBI & DOJ” After all, what’s the point in flushing a career in federal law enforcement down the toilet over bullshit conspiracy theories if you can’t at least make a few bucks doing it?

Speaking with G7 leaders and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the international summit in Hiroshima, Japan, President Biden on Friday endorsed a plan to begin training Ukrainian pilots on how to pew-pew Russian shitboxes with F-16 fighter jets, with additional decisions on who will provide the hardware to Kyiv to be made in the coming months, the Associated Press reports.

“A District of Columbia Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) Lieutenant was arrested today on an indictment charging that he obstructed an investigation into the December 12, 2020 destruction of a Black Lives Matter (BLM) Banner and made false and misleading statements to federal law enforcement about having done so, including that he leaked to Enrique Tarrio, the leader of ‘The Proud Boys,’ the fact that law enforcement had an arrest warrant for him related to that offense.”

“Shane Lamond, 47, of Stafford, Va, was indicted by a grand jury in the US District Court for the District of Columbia on one count of obstruction of justice and three counts of making false statements. Lamond will be arraigned today before the Honorable Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui in the US District Court for the District of Columbia. The announcement was made by US Attorney Matthew M Graves and Special Agent in Charge Wayne A Jacobs of the FBI Washington Field Office’s Criminal and Cyber Division,” says a DC Metro Police press release on the arrest of traitor cop Shane Lamond, who was already suspended in February 2022 for his betrayal of democracy.

House Oversight Chairman James Comer, a leader in the crusade to expose private citizen Hunter Biden’s finances to find some sort of malfeasance, has requested and received a 90 day extension on disclosing his own personal financial records to the Clerk of the House of Representatives.

It’s not clear if Comer made a similar request for an extension to find his “whistleblower” who was supposed to expose a pro-Biden conspiracy inside the FBI, but such a filing would have to be made with Fox Business News host Maria Bartiromo rather than any Congressional records official.

Hold on to your butts ladies and gents! The Washington Post reports Republican North Dakota Governor DOUG BURGUM is making moves to absolutely shake up the 2024 GOP presidential field!

That’s right! BURGUMANIA 2024 is almost here! Iowa and New Hampshire won’t know what hit them when Doug comes and tries to BURGLE the nomination! Millions and millions of Americans could theoretically have their political lives rocked to the core when BURGUMANIA hits ahead of 2024!

Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis has announced remote work days for her staff between July 31 and August 18 and wrote “I respectfully request that judges not schedule trials and in-person hearings during the weeks beginning Monday, Aug 7 and Monday, Aug 14,” in a recent letter to county officials and judges, in yet another very strong indicator of the timetable in which she will finally indict fat former President Trump and his minions for their late-2020, early-2021 coup attempt in the state following his humiliating defeat to Joe Biden, the New York Times reports.

“On 18 May 2023, a train derailed near Simferopol, blocking the only rail line into the port of Sevastopol, the base of Russia’s Black Sea Fleet (BSF). The railway authorities said it was a result of ‘interference by outsiders.’ Russia will move to repair the line quickly, but the incident will disrupt deliveries of supplies and potentially also weaponry, such as Kalibr cruise missiles, to the BSF. Any sabotage in this sensitive area will further increase the Kremlin’s concerns about its ability to protect other key infrastructure in Crimea. The peninsula retains a vital psychological and logistical role in enabling Russia’s war in Ukraine” says a UK Ministry of Defense Intelligence update.

Okay, so stay with me on this one:  Jeffrey Epstein, Peter Thiel and Woody Allen walk into a restaurant… which is exactly what apparently happened on Sunday, September 24th, 2014 at some restaurant in New York,  the New York Times found in a review of records of Epstein’s schedule.  The now-dead disgusting sex trafficker met at least three times with the Silicon Valley libertarian, according to the review of reminder emails sent to Epstein by his assistant.

So for the first time in my life, I’m beginning to think that whole cabal of billionaires funding child traffickers to supply the rich, powerful and influential in politics and entertainment might actually be true.  But the pizza place?  Nah. …and don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

“The political rot extends far beyond the former President of the United States that probe abortion activists, traditional Catholics.  People–moms and dads–who merely attend a Trump rally. Even angry parents; how dare they speak out about age-appropriate material being taught their kids or CRT.  How about we stick to reading, writing, math, science and computers?  But if they speak out at a school board meeting–guess what?–you speak out against Critical Race Theory, you could be scrutinized by your weaponized FBI.”

We know Sean Hannity lies; we saw the texts.  But this is a different type of irresponsible and dangerous.  The FBI investigated anti-abortion activists who bombed health clinics.  The Catholics?  Given the sex abuse scandal, maybe more investigation was needed.  Moms and dads who attend a Trump rally?  Only if they invaded the Capitol.  And feel free to voice your opinion at a school board meeting, but you step over the line when you threaten people.  That’s the kinds of terrorism and crime the FBI invests:  the kind conservatives try to excuse.

The conservative boycott of Bud Light for marketing their product to the LGBTQ community by reaching out to a transgender activist was as flat as, well, a three day old Bud Light, with parent company Anheuser-Busch InBev’s CEO saying it barely made a dent in sales.

As reported by TheStreet, CEO Michael Doukeris said on an investor call the total impact of the conservative boycott was minimal: “With respect to the current situation and the impact of Bud Light sales, it is too early to have a full view — Bud Light’s volume decline … would represent around 1% of our overall global volumes for that period.”

AB InBev‘s first quarter overall sales were up 13% in the first quarter, generating a profit of $1.3 billion, or 65¢ per share.  A one percent loss of sales would equate to a–(carry the one, calculate the square root of negative pi)–roughly 60¢ per share quarterly profit, before expected growth.

Poor, downtrodden CEO of Truck Slinky Tooth Decal Truth Social Devin Nunes just gave some unintentional happiness to the people of the second largest city in the United States as he says: “I won’t even enter Los Angeles County anymore.”

After a employee review board cleared him of wrongdoing, a Florida middle school teacher who showed his class a homemade video celebrating Confederate History Month has filed a complaint with the school saying the investigation into his action have caused tension in the workplace.

Jonathan Papanikolaou, an English arts teacher at Manatee Middle School in Collier County, showed his self-produced and -narrated video which begins, “Good morning, hurricanes. This is Mr. Papanikolaou. If you didn’t know, April is an officially celebrated month here in the State of Florida named Confederate History Month.  Every year our state celebrates and memorializes that valiant, brave fight and the countless sacrifices by our men and women during that known as the Civil War, but may be more correctly titled the War To Prevent Southern Independence.”

After the review board dismissed the complaints against him, Papanikolaou filed a complaint with the inquest “has caused [him] grief and awkwardness in classroom and school exchanges” noting “This situation has created emotional turmoil for myself.”

Democratic California Senator Dianne Feinstein suffered serious complications in her battle against shingles that kept her away from the Senate for two months, the New York Times reports.  The 89-year-old suffered from encephalitis, a swelling of the brain, a condition suffered by some shingles patients that can lead to memory loss, confusion, insomnia, and other issues–perhaps evident in Feinstein’s recent interactions with reporters where she insisted she had been active in the Senate when she had been under medical care in California.  Feinstein also contracted Ramsay Hunt Syndrome which impacts the nerves around the ears and can cause twitches, numbness and hearing loss.

Service on a line in Mexico City’s Metro system was halted Sunday when a chicken ran on the tracks at a station near the city’s center, sending workers chasing after the sneaky little clucker and attempting to catch it with a broom and a trash bag, the Associated Press reports.

Finally a worker was able to apprehend the chicken by tossing a jacket over it. Service was then quickly restored. It’s not clear if the bird was beheaded and consumed for trespassing on the tracks.

The conservative Supreme Court has put a stake in efforts to kill one of the earliest boogeymen for the MAGA conspiracy caucus, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act which protects social media companies from liability claims stemming from content posted by users, CNN reports.

In a decision released today, SCOTUS unanimously ruled social media platforms are not liable for posts users made on the site that aided terrorists, while in another, the Court declined to hear a case that would have specifically overturned Section 230 protections–an odd outcome given corrupt Justice Clarence Thomas declaring publicly last year that he sought a case that would allow conservatives to “review” (cough, cough overturn) the regulation.

Conservatives want to negate the law because it gives social media platforms wide authority to moderate content such as users’ posts, something rightwing conspiracy theorists equate to being censored by the government.  Both Republican Georgia Congresswoman and dwarf sasquatch Marjorie Taylor Greene and Republican South Carolina Senator and Trump lapdog Lindsey Graham introduced legislation to completely revoke the entire section of the Act.

Texas Senator John Cornhole tells the Dallas Morning News he’s not really feeling disgraced former President Trump’s comeback bid. It’s not because of the whole criminal indictments thing or being found liable as a sexual abuser thing or the whole racism and fascism things, but more the whole possibly going to lose badly and drag down a whole shit ton of other GOP candidates thing.

“We need to come up with an alternative. I think President Trump’s time has passed him by and what’s the most important thing to me is we have a candidate who can actually win,” said Cornhole, adding “I don’t think President Trump understands that when you run in a general election, you have to appeal to voters beyond your base. There’s no question that President Trump has some enthusiastic supporters as part of his base. That works well for him in a Republican primary, but not well when you need to expand your appeal in a general election.”

Non-Correction: The current version of this article misspelled Senator John Cornyn’s name as ‘Cornhole’ several times. National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

In more Disney World news, the company announced on Thursday that their Star Wars-themed “immersive experience” hotel, which costs $4,809 for the two-night stay for just two guests, will be closing in September after just about two years in business, CNBC reports. DeSantis probably can’t take credit for this one considering the place opened before the whole shitshow started.

“Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser is one of our most creative projects ever and has been praised by our guests and recognized for setting a new bar for innovation and immersive entertainment. This premium, boutique experience gave us the opportunity to try new things on a smaller scale of 100 rooms, and as we prepare for its final voyage, we will take what we’ve learned to create future experiences that can reach more of our guests and fans,” the company said in a statement.