Category: Uncategorized

Pour out a bottle of piss for MAGA “news” site WeLoveTrump.com as it appears that the propaganda outlet posted its valedictory article, “EXPOSED: Dr. Peter McCullough On How Nattokinase Could Counteract Spike Protein Damage!” on March 31st – whatever the fuck “Nattokinase” means.

Definitely in the lower tier of the MAGAverse, WeLoveTrump first came on our radar when, in our cut-and-paste content days, we picked up their December 29, 2020 article about a hotel frequented by the Proud Boys closing temporarily ahead of the electoral college vote just a week later (which did not deter the ‘Boys from participating the the subsequent riot). But they were forgotten about until the next summer when hilariously they thought we were serious and copied verbatim from our originally and very sarcastically composed August 13, 2021 article playing on that old “hidden ankle monitor” QAnon trope when First Lady Jill Biden was spotted wearing a medical boot.

Despite the weak production value and obvious polar opposite political bent, it’s hard not to feel at least a modicum of sympathy to the publishers of WeLoveTrump. This is a tough line of work and it has to be devastating to have to give up on doing something you love, even if it’s quite literally by name and URL expressing a love for the fat former President. That being said, it’s so much fucking easier to be a right wing site unmoored to any semblance of journalistic integrity and factual reporting these days. If you can’t hack it with that audience maybe you do simply fucking suck.

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott plans to not shake up the GOP 2024 presidential field with an announcement of an ineffectual and ultimately failed campaign on May 22nd, the AP reports.

If the idea is actually to become disgraced former President Trump’s running mate then we guess it would be smart to launch a pointless bid, however it would seem likely that Donald would probably try to pick a woman to act like he’s negating Vice President Kamala Harris on the Dem ticket.

“We respectfully submit this letter, on behalf of Defendant Donald J. Trump, to request that the Court grant a mistrial based upon pervasive unfair and prejudicial rulings by the Court; or in the alternative, (1) correct the record for each and every instance in which the Court has mischaracterized the facts of this case to the Jury and (2) allow[ed] Defendant’s counsel to have greater latitude to cross-examine Plaintiff and her witnesses.”

“A mistrial should be granted because the Court has: (1) mischaracterized the evidence in favor of Plaintiff; (2) bolstered the testimony of Plaintiff; (3) allowed Plaintiff to testify that Defendant has two tables of lawyers at trial while prohibiting Defendant from fairly clarifying the record by showing that Plaintiff has a comparable amount of lawyers; (4) continuously sustained improper ‘argumentative’ objections of Plaintiff’s counsel as to questions using a well-established and accepted looping method of cross-examination; (5) permitted the testimony of the Natasha Stoynoff, without any voir dire of the witness, when it is clear that her testimony does not fit within the requirements of Fed. R. Evid. 413(d)(2&5) and should be excluded under Fed. R. Evid. 403; (6) alluded to the potential use of relevant United States statutes as a form of remedy beyond that which might be available from the Court based on Defendant’s son, Eric Trump, making completely truthful and non-prejudicial statements about Reid Hoffman’s financing of Plaintiff’s litigation; and (7) expressed distress with Defendant’s counsel for bringing to its attention that someone from plaintiff’s side violated the court’s protective order, which led to the world-wide publication of plaintiff’s mock jury results,” writes Trump lawyer Joe Tacopina in a letter to Judge Lewis Kaplan.

The governor of a region of Russia bordering Ukraine on Monday said a freight train had been derailed by an improvised explosive device by Ukrainian saboteurs, CNN reports.

Bryansk Gov Alex Bogomaz wrote on Telegram that a remotely detonated explosive knocked off the train on a stretch of railway about 50 miles from Ukraine’s northern border. No one was injured.

While in the bullpen during a game against the University of Houston–Victoria, an 18-year-old Texas A&M-Texarkana baseball player was struck Saturday evening by a stray bullet fired during an incident that happened in a neighborhood bordering the Texarkana ballpark, NBC News reports.

The player, who was not identified, was taken to the hospital where he’s listed in stable condition, and officials for both schools halted the game, declaring it “no contest.”  The incident caused the regional Boy Scouts to cancel an event they were holding in another part of the park.

“Governor Greg Abbott today announced a $50,000 reward for a Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) top 10 fugitive who is in the country illegally and killed five illegal immigrants in a shooting Friday night in Cleveland, Texas. ‘Our hearts go out to the families and loved ones of the five victims that were taken in this senseless act of violence,’ said Governor Abbott. ‘I continue working with state and local officials to ensure they have all available resources to respond to this horrific crime. I thank the men and women in law enforcement who are tirelessly working to ensure this criminal is caught and brought to justice.’ The Governor also directed DPS Director Steve McCraw and Texas Military Department (TMD) Adjutant General Thomas Suelzer to alert Operation Lone Star soldiers and troopers to be on the lookout for the criminal and any attempts to flee the country after taking the lives of five people,” says Texas Gov Greg Abbott in a statement about Francisco Oropeza.

Sunday afternoon marks 30 days since fat former President Trump was indicted in Manhattan on 34 felony counts of falsification of business records in connection to his hush money payoff to porn star Stormy Daniels just days before the 2016 election to cover up his 45 second sexual encounter with her that occurred at some point in 2006… while Melania had just given birth to their son, Barron.

Hilariously, their Orange Allah finally facing the justice system for the first time wasn’t even the worst thing that happened to MAGA this month. Follow us on a brief trip down recent memory lane:

“Of the 10 people living there 5 are dead, migrate with a rifle. Translation. 5 illegal aliens killed by 1 illegal alien with a firearm he can’t own by law. People died because laws were not enforced!”

– The current top comment on the Breitbart article “Texas Manhunt Underway for Mexican Migrant Wanted in Alleged Killing of 5 Honduran Neighbors,” posted Saturday. There’s no information now on whether the suspect and/or the victims are illegal immigrants. Either way, of fucking course that’s where Breitbart readers finally draw the line on who can own a gun and who can’t. Bonus points for the implication that law enforcement are supposed to be checking gun owners’ immigration status.

We could picture those sort of conversations between cops and white rural conservatives suspected of secretly being Canadians or Australians faking an Alabama twang going over very well.

Now we’ve picked up this same rant before but it’s worth revisiting it to note that where the fat bastard says “none of the many lawyers or others on the Call, hung up in disgust or reprimanded me,” misses the whole point: That they didn’t hang up or “reprimand” him because Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger was recording it and wanted to get Trump to incriminate himself. Which Donald doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge since it would kind of imply that it actually wasn’t so perfect and he was in fact violating Georgia state law by attempting to intimidate a public official into illegally changing the results of a free and fair election.

We have to preface this clip with a recap of Justice Clarence Thomas’s most recent scumbaggery: The free luxury trips from Texas MAGA billionaire Harland Crow – a Hitler fan whose brother is credibly accused of being a sex trafficker, owns Clarence’s mom’s house which he bought for $133,000 and where she continues to live rent-free. Clarence also believes the COVID vaccine is made from aborted fetuses and his wife is a batshit evil insurrectionist who tried to get Republican lawmakers at both the state and federal level to overturn the result of the 2020 election. All that’s just within the last few years. We could go back further on Clarence’s evil ways.

And here’s Ted Cruz cheaply and lazily calling Democrats “racists” for calling the sick asshole out for being a corrupt Nazi. For people who complain about the race card they’re awfully quick to play it when it’s their dude on the hot seat for being bought off by a scumbag billionaire.

The Cleveland, Texas patriot who defended his God-given Second Amendment freedoms by killing five neighbors, including an 8 year-old boy, in a Friday night dispute over his right to bear arms at 11:30 pm is still on the loose as of Sunday morning, the Associated Press reports.

Patriot Francisco Oropeza “could be anywhere now,” said San Jacinto County Sheriff Greg Capers, saying that a tracking dog lost the scent of the freedom lover in a patch of nearby forest.

“Socialist” Dem New York City Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won’t be mounting a primary challenge to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand in 2024, an AOC spokeswoman told Politico.

Sure, it could be a conspiracy by Big Flour to drive sales, but…  An unknown amount of Gold Medal flour from General Mills has been recalled for possible salmonella contamination, according to NBC News.  The recall is for all Gold Medal 2-, 5- and 10-pound bags of unbleached and bleached all-purpose flour stamped with a “better if used by” date of March 27, 2024, and March 28, 2024.

If you have products covered by the recall, call General Mills Consumer Relations at 1-800-230-8103 to confirm a refund.  Or, if you’re like me, you can wonder if the flour in the container in the pantry is Gold Medal flour and whether it might be within the recall window because who holds onto the paper flour packaging?

The Daily Show correspondent Roy Wood Jr. hosts the 2023 White House Correspondents’ Associati0n Dinner, affectionately known as “Nerd Prom,” with President Joe Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden in attendance.

Remember Curtis Sliwa, the founder of street justice group the Guardian Angels, a conservative radio provocateur and one-time Republican candidate for mayor of New York City?  Well, according to the Daily Beast, Sliwa’s third wife, Mary Paterson (who’s now married to former New York Governor David Paterson, with whom Sliwa once hosted a radio show) sued Sliwa for more than $550,000 in unpaid child support.

Sliwa made an ideal GOP candidate to be Hizzoner, given the precedent set by his cousin-marrying predecessor, Rudy Giuliani.  After divorcing in 2012 after a dozen years of marriage, Sliwa agreed to pay about $13,000 per month in support for the couple’s son; at the time, it was reported he was making more than $400,000 per year from his radio gig.   In December 2012, his salary was cut to $200,000, and without court permission, Sliwa unilaterally cut payment to $2,500 per month.  By 2014, his salary was restored, but according to Paterson, he refused to pay the agreed amount of child support.

All this was going on as Sliwa, whom Paterson describes as a “an inveterate, world-class liar” in the lawsuit, was having an affair with the Queens District Attorney Melinda Katz, with whom he had two children via invitro fertilization… again, while still married to Paterson.

Buried deep in an analysis of President Biden’s 2024 prospects published this week by the New York Times election data egghead Nate Cohn – not to be confused with FiveThirtyEight election data egghead Nate Silver, who got fired in a round of layoffs – was a really solid point we wish he would’ve expanded upon about the swing states: “At the moment, there’s a case the Electoral College will be less favorable to Mr Trump, relative to the national vote, than it was in 2020…”

“‘Democracy’ may also play well as an issue in the battlegrounds, as these are the very states where the stop-the-steal movement threatened to overturn the results of the last election,” Cohn wrote. And though we wish he hadn’t put “Democracy” in those goddamned scare quotes it was definitely an interesting insight into the lasting damage wrought to the MAGA brand by the 2020 election.

Sources tell Rolling Stone that Fox News hosts Maria “QAnon freak” Bartiromo and Jeannine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro are worried they’re next on the chopping block at Fox News. Which makes total sense because if their top ratings draw – a guy who spewed a lot of hateful shit but wasn’t really big on the Dominion conspiracy theories himself – wasn’t safe then why the hell would those two idiots be? Especially Bartiromo, who’s still currently a defendant in suits from Dominion and Smartmatic.

Officials with the British Transport Police on Friday released images of a female suspect wanted in connection with a heinous sexual assault on a male victim at the Euston Underground station in East London on April 14th. “At around 9pm, a man was traveling on the escalator when a woman tried to link arms with him. When he pulled his arm away, she sexually assaulted him,” says the BTP’s report.

CCTV image of the sexual predator

“The woman, who was traveling with a friend, then left the escalator and boarded a tube. Officers would like to speak to the woman in these images, as they believe she has information which may assist the investigation. Anyone with information can contact BTP by calling 0800 40 50 40 or texting 61016 with reference 450 of 15 April,” the report continued, carrying with it an obvious urgency that the suspect must be apprehended before she strikes again.