“Republicans are in disarray on immigration. It’s not a sentence your Playbook author expected to be writing, a year into this presidency – and certainly not after Trump’s clampdown on the border. But four days on from the deadly shooting of Alex Pretti, this is suddenly where we’re at,” writes your Politico Playbook author on Wednesday morning. Fuuuuuuuuck these people are so fucking awful.

Seriously does this asshole blog anonymously about Love Island on Netflix? Is it some kind of trollish social experiment to just see if anyone’s going to make note of the insipidity and douchery of their grating “takes”? What the fuck goes through someone’s head, “OMG this is SO clever, let me invert a cliche we in the political media have established as conventional wisdom and then remark about how novel and unexpected it is for me to be writing it during this BIG plot twist!!! ZING!”

The “domestic terrorist” movement known as “No Kings” will hold its third round of nationwide protests against the Orange God Emperor’s regime in Saturday, March 28, the AP reports.

NEW ANGLE: A man sitting in the front row of Rep. Ilhan Omar's town hall was tackled after he appeared to spray her with an unknown substance. pic.twitter.com/rqKbOUp1Do

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 28, 2026

Is it newsworthy when it’s one of the Republicans who voted to convict Trump in his second impeachment trial and another who quit because he knew the fat fuck would endorse some primary challenger? Can’t even tell anymore, but Lisa Murkowski and Thom Tillis did vote to confirm dog-murdering idiot Kristi Noem to be Homeland Security Secretary and they are calling on him not not literally murder her now but fire her instead, per freelancer Jamie Dupree and CNN’s Annie Grayer.

In a section of a Monday corporate blog post headlined “Prioritizing our investments” Amazon writes that “While we’ve seen encouraging signals in our Amazon-branded physical grocery stores, we haven’t yet created a truly distinctive customer experience with the right economic model needed for large-scale expansion. After a careful evaluation of the business and how we can best serve customers, we’ve made the difficult decision to close our Amazon Go and Amazon Fresh physical stores, converting various locations into Whole Foods stores. Customers can continue to shop Amazon Fresh online in available areas for fast and convenient delivery. We’re grateful to our team members for their many contributions over the years and are working whenever possible to help them find roles elsewhere in Amazon, including across our vast operations network.”

Whatever. No reason to doubt that they can shuffle workers elsewhere or retrain them as Whole Foods staff for the rebranded stores. Whether they can do so without screwing them out of current salary or advancement opportunities is another question. Still better than axing them altogether.

It’s the “prioritizing our investments” part that rings a tad hollow given that the announcement comes as the global megacorporation also paid $40 million to produce the soon-to-launch Melania Trump “documentary” and another $35 million to market it. Maybe, just maybe, that grand total of $75 million that could have gone to some kind of all-hands effort toward salvaging the sunk cost of developing 21st century convenience stores that calculate your tab without a cashier.

Semi-regular GOP mouthpiece Axios reports that ghoulish white nationalist Stephen Miller was behind the batshit stupid claim that murder victim Alex Pretti was intent on “massacring” Border Patrol agents in Minneapolis on Saturday, with sources telling the bullet-point factory that “Stephen heard ‘gun’ and knew what the narrative would be: Pretti came to ‘massacre’ cops,” and ordered DHS to run it just over two hours after the shooting, causing chaos and infighting on Team Orange.

“Others within the White House attempted to clean up the DHS statement prior to it being sent but it had already been disseminated,” another source said and it’s hard to tell exactly whose agenda this piece serves… It’s definitely someone‘s. It’s not Kristi Noem because it says “Noem has complained to others that she feels she’s being hung out to dry over the episode and has made sure to emphasize she took direction from Miller and the president” and also mentions how she stupidly lied and claimed Pretti had been “brandishing” the pistol that he’d had holstered until he was killed.

Then there’s that Miller was shut out of a two-hour meeting between Trump, Noem, and her sidepiece Corey Lewandowski. The one person Axios paints as most “adult in the room,” and not that he was ever the target of a $50,000 FBI bribery sting operation is “border czar” Tom Homan.

So yeah, most likely some Homanosexual at Axios wrote this and printed it at his behest.

“I’m hearing that the Great Country of Iraq might make a very bad choice by reinstalling Nouri al-Maliki as Prime Minister. Last time Maliki was in power, the Country descended into poverty and total chaos. That should not be allowed to happen again. Because of his insane policies and ideologies, if elected, the United States of America will no longer help Iraq and, if we are not there to help, Iraq has ZERO chance of Success, Prosperity, or Freedom” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday. Wonder how close he came to ordering them not to elect Saddam Hussein again.

The Texas chapter of the national Young Republicans on Tuesday issued an open letter to convicted felon President Trump, writing “In 2024, American voters overwhelmingly elected you with a popular mandate: mass deportations. For decades, our country has been swarmed by illegal aliens who have brought crime and fraud to our cities and towns. Ten million new illegals were ushered in by cartel smugglers during the Biden Administration alone, bringing the crisis to a boiling point.”

“The story about industrial scale fraud by Somali immigrants in Minnesota, with the complicity of Governor Walz, only scratches the surface of the hundreds of billions of dollars being stolen from Americans by criminal aliens. We knew from the beginning that historic mass deportations would be a major effort, and that the Left would fight back viciously against this existential threat to their fraud and human trafficking institutions. Dangerous street thugs are now collaborating with the globalist media conglomerates to turn public opinion against the interior enforcement agenda that the majority of Americans elected you to execute. The Mayor of Minneapolis has ordered the police to stand down as Antifa terrorists riot and assault DHS officers investigating fraud,” they continued and honestly it’s impossible to tell whether they’re lying or they actually believe that shit that DHS in on the ground in Minnesota “investigate fraud.” They really might truly be that fucking deluded.

“Our message to you, Mr President: do not back down,” and blah blah blah, skipping a few sentences of their fascist fapping… “Mr President, we applaud you and your administration for taking the bold steps necessary to restore our great nation and bring us the justice we so badly need.”

You will not be surprised to learn that, per MS Now, convicted felon President Trump’s Justice Department will not open a civil rights investigation into the murder of Minnesota nurse Alex Pretti by Border Patrol agents on Saturday, instead leaving it to the CBP’s internal affairs and ICE’s Homeland Security Investigations division to cover up not even pretend to seek accountability.

“Hi Brad. I am sending you a post on socials regarding the trump walz conversation, this has been approved by staff. Will be using the picture attached and caption for all three platforms.”

“Thank you, President Trump and Gov Walz. I am pleased to see these recent developments. The only way to a resolution is through productive conversations. Public safety shouldn’t be partisan, and cooperation is how we deliver real results for our communities. Real leadership means putting law and order above politics,” says the first version of Republican Minnesota Congressman Brad Finstad’s Monday Facebook post applauding and sharing a screenshot convicted felon President Trump’s Truth Social post from hours earlier in which someone, probably not Trump himself, had wrote “Governor Tim Walz called me with the request to work together with respect to Minnesota. It was a very good call, and we, actually, seemed to be on a similar wavelength,” and blah blah blah.

Within three minutes one of Finstad’s staffers removed the “Hi Brad” part. But since Facebook allows you to see the edit history (click on the three dots in the upper right-hand corner) maybe they should’ve just deleted it and started a fresh one without the goddamned instructions from the White House or whoever told “Finstad” to paste in the “approved” talking point on the Walz Trump call.

NTSB chair Jennifer Homendy on Tuesday kicked off a daylong public meeting on the conclusions from the agency’s investigation into the tragic January 29, 2025 collision of an Army Black Hawk helicopter and American Eagle Flight 5342 that took 67 lives, Politico reports. Completely absent from their story is anything about the “DEI policies” left over from the Biden Administration that the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex immediately assigned blame to, minus evidence.

“Today, you will hear how deep, underlying, systemic failures – system flaws – aligned to create the conditions that led to this devastating tragedy,” Homendy said in her opening remarks that were long on technical vagaries about the intense, low-error-margin choreography of congested urban flightpaths and short on absolute fucking nonsense like the “problematic and likely illegal decisions during the Obama and Biden Administrations that minimized merit and competence in the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). The Obama Administration implemented a biographical questionnaire at the FAA to shift the hiring focus away from objective aptitude. During my first term, my Administration raised standards to achieve the highest standards of safety and excellence. But the Biden Administration egregiously rejected merit-based hiring, requiring all executive departments and agencies to implement dangerous ‘diversity equity and inclusion’ tactics, and specifically recruiting individuals with ‘severe intellectual’ disabilities in the FAA,” that convicted felon President Trump ranted about in an executive order is team cooked up less than 24 hours after the tragedy.

The omissions from Homedy’s remarks raise the possibility she will not be fired for failing to so much as even nod at the DEI circlejerk because the goldfish brains of MAGAmerica had already forgotten about the plane crash by like the second week of February anyway so who gives a shit anymore.

The whistles should be banned. https://t.co/sX01E6KDp3

— Megyn Kelly (@megynkelly) January 27, 2026

In their monthly report headlined “Confidence collapsed to lowest point since 2014, surpassing pandemic depths” the Conference Board writes that “Consumer Confidence Index® fell by 9.7 points in January to 84.5 (1985=100), from an upwardly revised 94.2 in December. A 5.1-point upward revision to December’s reading of the Index resulted in a slight increase last month, reversing the initially reported decline. However, January’s preliminary results showed confidence resumed declining after a one-month uptick. The Present Situation Index – based on consumers’ assessment of current business and labor market conditions – dropped by 9.9 points to 113.7 in January.”

“The Expectations Index – based on consumers’ short-term outlook for income, business, and labor market conditions – fell by 9.5 points to 65.1, well below the threshold of 80 that usually signals a recession ahead. The cutoff for preliminary results was January 16, 2026,” the report continued.

Something something fake biased, open an investigation, somebody’s wife’s brother used to work for a PAC that supported Adam Schiff’s 2024 Senate campaign, it’s all garbage anyway because this Trafalgar poll says only 23 percent of Americans approve of Jerome Powell, and Ilhan Omar is in big trouble because she’s connected to the $29 billion Somali fraud scheme in Minnesota.

Republican Florida Congressman Vern Buchanan on Tuesday became the 22nd House Republican of the 2026 cycle to ditch Washington by resigning, retiring, or running for governor/attorney general back in their home state, a bit short of the 28 who had already tapped out as of January 27, 2018.

Another eight Republicans are running for Senate rather than reelection to their seats but the running count excludes those since they’re obviously intent on staying in DC. Still if you want to get in the weeds you can add one since Georgia Congressman Mike Collins threw in to the Peach State’s Senate GOP primary two months after delegation-mate Buddy Carter did. And maybe a 24th exit in Texan Wesley Hunt since there’s essentially no freaking way he’s winning that primary.

Visa overstayer First Lady Melania “I really don’t care, Do U?” Trump had to suffer though about 58 seconds of “unity” pablum on Tuesday before getting to what she thinks really matters to the American people: Her sex-pest-directed “documentary” that cost Amazon like $75 million to produce and market whose Saturday night premiere was marred by ICE’s brutality in Minneapolis.

In a failure by their fact-checking team, the Detroit Free Press on Monday reported that former auto industry executive/business consultant Perry Johnson had launched his second bid for the governor’s mansion in the Great Lakes State. Everything else about the story was correct, but they fucked up on the ordinal aspect of it as Johnson’s alleged first campaign in 2022 technically never actually happened because he – along with four other hopefuls in the ten-candidate GOP primary field that year – was disqualified when the canvassing firms they used for gathering their ballot access petition signatures turned out to have submitted thousands of falsified names.

So really it’s Johnson’s first governor campaign, and one in which the pitch is “We can deliver better services at lower cost by running state government with the same efficiency, accountability, and a results-driven mindset we used to help save the auto industry and businesses across the country.”

Sounds great, especially when you ignore the fact that Johnson pissed away $27 million of his own money on that nascent pre-campaign, all of it gone because he couldn’t be bothered to apply anything resembling efficiency, accountability, or a results-driven mindset to his political ambitions.

In a guest op-ed printed by the New York Times on Tuesday morning, “moderate” Republican New York Congressman Mike Lawler writes “The deaths of Renee Good and Alex Pretti in Minneapolis this month were tragic and preventable. No matter where you stand on immigration enforcement, the shootings show that what the country has been doing is not working,” in the opening paragraph.

“The loudest voices on each extreme have retreated to their usual corners. They have an interest in keeping our immigration problems unsolved and politically divisive. Everyone else must see that Congress and the president need to embrace a new comprehensive national immigration policy that acknowledges Americans’ many legitimate concerns about how the government has conducted immigration policy,” Lawler continued in the second paragraph and again it’s worth noting that his Orange Allah purposely bricked the previous administration’s attempts at bolstering border security.

Lawler’s third paragraph: “That starts with reviewing how we got here. During President Joe Biden’s term, lenient border policies and foolish state and local laws offering shelter and benefits to illegal immigrants resulted in millions of migrants entering the United States, overwhelming our cities, our legal and public education systems, and our social safety net,” and THERE IT IS. The freaking worm who as a teenager got kicked out of the courtroom during Michael Jackson’s 2005 child molestation trial for audibly cursing at the mother of Jacko’s cancer-stricken accuser is pointing the finger at Amtrak Joe for Trump’s DHS agents summarily executing two American citizens in broad daylight.

.@POTUS @realDonaldTrump: I make a direct appeal to immediately fire @Sec_Noem.

Americans have died.

She is betraying DHS’s core mission and trashing your border security legacy.

DO NOT make the mistake President Biden made for not firing a grossly incompetent DHS Secretary.

— U.S. Senator John Fetterman (@SenFettermanPA) January 27, 2026