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Dr. Oz misspells name of Pennsylvania town he claims as home

New Jersey resident Mehmet Oz made a couple minor mistakes regarding his filing for candidacy with the Federal Election Commission.  First, the town he claims he lives in–Huntington Valley–doesn’t actually exist, but Huntingdon Valley does.  Second, the street address he claims as his residence–2771 Philmont Ave. in Huntingdon Valley–is actually a strip mall.

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Florida Man first reported limb loser this Independence Day

A Florida man had his hand blown off while he was playing with fireworks at 1 a.m. Saturday, perhaps making him the first Patriotic Holiday Amputee, Fox News reports.  By the time Broward County sheriff’s deputies reached the scene, the man and his hand had been taken to a local hospital by a bystander, but it was not possible to reattached the hand.

A witness said the accident happened suddenly.  “It wasn’t even like five minutes, ’cause as soon as he lights it, it exploded,” said the person, apparently surprised that a lit explosive is going to eventually, y’know, explode.

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Committee member promises more blockbuster info in July

Republican Ohio Congressman Adam Kinzinger, a member of the House Select Committee investigating the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress, said the committee will have some additional shocking details in the July hearings, the Associated Press reports.

“There will be way more information and stay tuned,” Kinzinger said during a Sunday interview.  Committee members have stated that they have received an overwhelming amount of information from tip lines and witnesses that have disclosed critical material.

“There’s information I can’t say yet,” Kinzinger said. “We certainly would say that Cassidy Hutchinson has testified under oath, we find her credible, and anybody that wants to cast disparagements on that, who were firsthand present, should also testify under oath and not through anonymous sources.”

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Poor Jon Voight. No one wants to listen to his ramblings

“Well, I, I, e, ye, ye, ya’know, mm, mm, many people, er, are upset with me and the Hollywood group, right, and the family, too,” one-time actor and Trump sychophant Jon Voight claims in the Perpetual Self-Victimization Zone that is Tucker Carlson’s program on Fox.  “But, ah, ah, n-, no one really confronts me because they don’t have the answers.  They, ah, they feel my knowledge, in a certain sense, like yourself.  You, you got too many facts, too much information and you’re too eloquent to be argued with.”

Well, Jon, it could be that no one in your family talks to you because you’re unreachable and you are impervious to reality.  See, like many Trumpians, you’ve proceeded to alienate anyone near you by repeatedly calling people communists, being pushy to the point of being obnoxious with your talking points, and failing to admit facts are not on your side.

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Falling iceberg kills six in Italian Alps

At least six hikers are dead, eight more injured, and as many as 10 are missing after an iceberg calved off a glacier Sunday near Trento in Italy’s northern Alpine region, the AP reports. Officials were working into the night to determine exactly how many may still be out there but were wary of approaching the site for risk of further collapse, resorting to checking the license plates of cars in the hiking trail’s parking lot to ascertain who still might be on the mountain.

Icebergs are a deadly hazard, even far away from glaciers. An iceberg from Greenland that floating hundreds of miles south sinking some boat was reportedly the inspiration for the 1997 James Cameron epic Titanic and its spiritual sequel Titanic II which was produced by “The Asylum”, the studio behind Transmorphers, Atlantic Rim, Triassic World, and AVH: Alien vs. Hunter.

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White trash gunman opens fire in Copenhagen mall

An almost certainly non-Muslim gunman opened fire injuring several people in a mall in Copenhagen, Denmark on Sunday, CBS News reports. Cops arrested the white trash-looking terrorist at the scene. No word on how many were injured. Video captured during the rampage shows the more likely than not right-winger carrying what appears to be a hunting rifle – rather than an AR-15 or similar – screaming while chasing shoppers.

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Not clear why Trump self-edits “bullshit” from Truth Social posts

Avatar

Donald J. TrumpVerified Account

@realDonaldTrump
So Cassidy Hutchinson was all set and ready to go to Florida with the Trump Team long after January 6th. She knew I did nothing wrong. She was a big Trump fan – but my people didn’t want her. What happened? Why did she so dramatically change? All lies. I guess even she didn’t believe her own bull…!

9,303 2,283 Jul 03, 2022, 08:22

For the second time since the Tuesday House January 6th Select Committee hearing, fat former President Trump on Sunday used “bull…” in place of the word “bullshit” while screaming about former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson on Truth Social. We had been under the mistaken impression that all profanity had been prohibited from the MAGA Twitter clone – mainly because Devin Nunes fucking said they would do it before it launched, silly us for taking him seriously there – however a search just now of the term “bullshit” reveals that is in fact not the case and the word is far from verboten. And this article would’ve been funnier if it were. The original headline was going to be “Trump not exempted from Truth Social profanity filter” before we double checked.

More curious is that fat Donald was unafraid to write “bullshit” on Twitter, even while he was president. It was not an especially common occurrence, happening only twice while he was in office – both in 2019, (as well as at least a dozen times in speeches) but to our knowledge that’s still twice more than he ever has on Truth Social. Jiminy Cricket, what the heck kind of bullpuckey is this? Doesn’t he realize that the selective application of uncensored profanity is an effective method of emphasis in communication? Trump should stop being such a total female dog and just swear a little. It is that silly rear-end hole’s own gosh darn social network after all.

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More allegations of male sexual harassment surface against British Conservative Member of Parliament Chris “Pinchy” Pincher

British MP Chris “Pinchy” Pincher, having already resigned from his chamber post as deputy whip after a a drunken Thursday incident where he groped two men and been suspended from the party, found himself in even more of a pinch this weekend as multiple further incidents of sexual harassment even against fellow male lawmakers surfaced, the BBC reports.

“The stresses of the last few days, coming on top of those over the last several months, have made me accept that I will benefit from professional medical support, I am in the process of seeking that now, and I hope to be able to return to my constituency duties as soon as possible,” Pinchy said in a statement, which means he’s probably screwed and will not actually be returning, ever.

The row marks the latest in a shitshow of 2022 for the Tories following the conviction of MP Imran Khan on charges of sexually assaulting a teenage boy, the resignation of MP Neil Parish after he was twice caught watching porn on his phone in the fucking Parliament chamber, in session, the suspension of MP David Warburton for US Republican-style coke orgying, a recent report alleging a direct line of cash from some Russian scumbag to the party’s coffers, a still publicly-unnamed Conservative MP being arrested for rape in May, and Prime Minister Boris Johnson only somewhat comfortably surviving a no-confidence vote for holding parties during COVID lockdowns. Oh and some lib put a traffic cone on the former party leader’s head, but that happened last year.

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Lukashenko accuses Ukraine of attack on Belarus

Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko on Saturday said it was super lucky those Russian missile defense systems shot down all those missiles from Ukraine that didn’t hit any targets inside his country, CNN reports. “Thank God [Putin], the Pantsir anti-aircraft systems managed to intercept all the missiles launched by the Armed Forces of Ukraine,” Lukashenko said.

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Dozens of white supremacists march through Boston

Well, they made it out of the van this time.  Dozens of Patriot Front members, the Shemp of the white nationalist groups, marched through the streets of Boston Saturday evening in an apparent attempt to be the most obnoxious white guys in Boston.

CBS News Boston reports that there didn’t seem to be a specific theme or order to the Proud Boys march.  Instead, they wandered the streets of Boston wearing masks like a convention group looking for a bar, and seemed to disappear after boarding the city’s subway system.

“To the white supremacists who ran through downtown today: When we march, we don’t hide our faces,” Boston Mayor Michelle Wu tweeted. “Your hate is as cowardly as it is disgusting, and it goes against all that Boston stands for.”

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Akron, Ohio preps for police release of video showing police shooting fleeing Black man dozens of times after car chase

Officials in Akron, Ohio are preparing for demonstrations and unrest Sunday, the day the city’s police department is scheduled to release bodycam footage of the killing of Jayland Walker, a 25-year-old Black man who was shot dozens of times while fleeing after a car chase, the Akron Beacon reports.

A lawyer for Walker’s family said the man was hit by at least 60 bullets or bullet fragments after he leaped out of a car when he was being chased by police.  Police said Walker fired a gun at them as the car chase progressed, but they will not say if Walker fired at officers when fleeing.  Walker was shot in the face, abdomen, arms, and legs by Akron police officers after a short chase early Monday morning.

City officials have canceled a weekend barbeque festival but will continue to hold the scheduled fireworks for Independence Day on Monday.

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Florida terrorist with flamethrower burns African group’s flag

A terrorist in Florida using a flamethrower attacked the headquarters of the Uhuru Movement, a Black international socialist group, in St. Petersburg, managing only to set the flag of the organization on fire.  The man stopped when confronted with a worker who was inside the building, not a good guy with a flame thrower.

The security video shows the man driving a white vehicle into the parking lot, unloading the flamethrower from the trunk of his car and strapping it on before shooting a flame 30 feet in the air.  Police are investigating but a suspect has not yet been identified.

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Supreme Court asks Maryland to protect justices’ privacy

Due to their revoking Americans’ right to privacy, the justices of the Supreme Court require the state of Maryland to restrict others’ ability to protest at their residences, the Marshal responsible for the safety of the justices said in a letter to Republican Maryland Governor Larry Hogan.

According to Reuters, Supreme Court Marshal Gail Curley sent a letter to Hogan claiming that demonstrators outside the Maryland homes of Supreme Court justices were violating the law and Maryland officials need to do more to secure the privacy of the justices, claiming people have a “right to tranquility in the person’s home.”

The court officials say the justices’ privacy have been violated by demonstrators who have been appearing periodically outside the Maryland homes of Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Brett Kavanaugh since the May leak of the draft of the decision revoking the Roe v. Wade decision acknowledging a woman’s right to privacy for medical care.

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Florida bribing teachers to attend course to indoctrinate teachers in DeSantis-approved whitewashed lessons

The Florida Department of Education is bribing teachers $700 to attend a voluntary three-day seminar on how Republican Governor Ron DeSantis wants civics taught in the state, with lessons on how the Founders didn’t actually endorse a separation of Church and state, the Washington Post reports.

The seminars–which come with an opportunity to earn a $3,000 bonus from their home school districts as well as a “Civics Seal of Endorsement” for their cirrcula–are designed to groom teachers to repeat false conservative talking points, like that the Founding Fathers roundly opposed slavery, when in fact many of the Founders were slave owners themselves.

“My takeaway from the training is that civics education in the state of Florida right now is geared toward pushing some particular points of view,” said Broward County teacher Richard Judd, who attended the three-day training. “The thesis they ran with is that there is no real separation of church and state.”

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Uvalde police chief steps down from city council

The embattled chief of the Uvalde School District Police, who botched the response to a gunman at Robb Elementary School in May who killed 19 students and two teachers, has resigned from the Uvalde city council, Forbes reports.

Pete Arredondo was elected to the council before the mass murder but wasn’t sworn in until weeks after the shooting; the mayor chose to hold the swearing-in in secret after announcing that Arredondo would not be seated until weeks later.

Even still, Arredondo did not attend the first public meeting of the council and requested a leave of absence, which the council refused to grant, forcing Arredondo to attend meetings to be expelled.  Arredondo remains chief of the schools’ police force, but he is on leave pending investigation.

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God spoke to preacher to inspire Roger Stone, tape “shows”

There’s a lot creepy about this video.  First, anything with Roger Stone in it is particularly creepy, and he doesn’t get better in a Zoom conference call.  Second, that Trump face behind Stone is cringeworthy.  Next, what’s with the Christian Criss Angel wannabe’s assortment of stone artifacts?  Finally, the preacher says God talked to him while Stone was speaking, saying, “I am the wind behind the stone that is in flight right now” and various other claptrap.

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Democrats, pro-choice groups raise $80 million after Roe ruling

Democratic candidates at all levels of office and PACs supporting abortion rights have raised more than $80 million in donations since the Supreme Court released its opinion reversing the Roe v. Wade decision, the Associated Press reports.

Most of the money is going to national and statewide races, a trend that worries some Democratic leaders who want to push for offices in local and state legislative districts where local laws can be made, a similar strategy Republicans took in previous decades to control legislation on the state level.

“We can no longer afford Democrats’ systemic neglect of down-ballot races — not when Republicans are eager to intrude on our health care decisions, bedrooms, and marriages,” said Gabrielle Chew, a spokesperson for the Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, which helps finance state legislative races. “This should be a wake-up call.”

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Loser Nevada GOP gov candidate demands recount, still loses

Super badass America First patriot Joey Gilbert, a true Nevadan who stands up for election integrity against the evil freedom-hating socialist Soros upscale elite Rothschild financial globalist cabal and who had so much enthusiasm behind him in the state Republican governor primary race there’s no way he could have lost fairly to Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo, did actually lose by 28,000 votes, a recount confirmed this week, the Washington Post reports.

Gilbert’s campaign shelled out nearly $200,000 to recount all 17 of Nevada’s counties and while only Clark and Washoe Counties reported the recanvassed results as of Friday afternoon, those two account for over 75% of the statewide vote and did not find any significant error in the tabulations, meaning Gilbert definitely failed to Stop the Steal. What a sky screaming loser.

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South Carolina sheriff says she won’t comply with law requiring investigations of women who had abortions after rape or incest

Charleston County, South Carolina Sheriff Kristin Graziano said Friday she has no intention of following the state law requiring her to forward offices reports of women who were impregnated by rape or incest and are trying to terminate the pregnancy to the state legislature, WCIV reports.

“I want the public to know that while these providers are now mandated by law to send us these reports regardless of the will of their patients, we will not contact the patient if she doesn’t want us to. We will offer our support and investigative services only if they request it. I know all too well the pain and heartache that comes from sexual assault, as a family member to a victim and as someone who has worked with them as a law enforcement officer. It is traumatizing, and my agency will do everything we can to offer care, solace and respect to these women who are seeking health care.”

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