A Florida pastor was arrested in Kissimmee, Florida for masturbating on the patio of a local Starbucks cafe, the second time the man had been arrested for exposing himself at the same location, WESH NBC-2 in Orlando reports.

Officials say Enginio Muniz-Colon, 39, was attempting to turn his demi into a grande in plain view of customers walking into and out of the store.  It was the second time he had been arrested at the same location for frothing the latte.

Muniz-Colon was charged with exposure of sexual organs and held at the county jail on $1,000 bond.

President Biden on Wednesday told the NATO Security summit the United States is readying the deployment of more troops, fighters jets, and weapons to defend Europe from Ivan, Politico reports.

“I said Putin’s looking for the Finlandization of Europe,” Biden said. “He’s going to get the NATOization of Europe. And that is exactly what he didn’t want, but exactly what needs to be done to guarantee security for Europe. And I think it’s necessary.” Next year will mark eight decades of continuous United States military presence in Europe, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. There are still troops in Italy nearly 80 years after the first American soldiers stormed the beach to take on the Germans at Salerno in September 1943.

MAGA coup attempt lawyer John Eastman on Tuesday dropped his lawsuit against Verizon trying to block them from complying with a House January 6th Select Committee subpoena for his phone records, Politico reports. The suit became moot when the FBI seized Eastman’s phone last week.

Continuing their practice of avoiding any news that is detrimental to Republican causes–like the devastating testimony by a White House insider about Donald Trump and his chief of staff Mark Meadows knew about the armed domestic terrorists at Trump’s January 6th public screeching–Fox and its vapid hosts glom on to anything they think can enrage their audience.

In this case, it’s the fact that the Muppets (seen above on the left) have filmed a PSA to encourage children to get the coronavirus vaccine, which has the moron (seen above on the right) and her colleagues upset that the child edu-tainment characters support public health.

Let’s get this out of the way first: National Zero’s Twitter account is shit compared to that of real news outlets. We rarely use it to tweet out our stories and it serves no real purpose other than simply serving as a newsfeed to find stuff to report. Its old name was simply “SpartanWarrior” (which is why it says “Joined August 2014”, long before National Zero was founded). This is something on the long list of things that need to be corrected about our social media presence.

During the typical day-to-day, we will tweet or retweet items of note simply to pin them for use in later material – which is why if you follow National Zero on Twitter you’ll often see tweets we politically would never agree with, and to our followers/readers’ credit, none of you have ever replied to this with something to the effect of “Why the fuck would you retweet Lauren Boebert?” because you know us. You know we’re not propagating the dumb shit or other Republicans tweet.

Fox News fans, determined to ignore the liberal leftist kangaroo court witch hunt trial whatever at the House January 6th Select Committee hearings, tuned out en masse during the two daytime editions last week, averaging 727,000 viewers for each compared to 3.09 million watching them via MSNBC and 2.21 million via CNN, the AP reports. This compares to 1.33 million watching Fox News beforehand and 2.76 million watching the hours before and after the hearing on Thursday.

Fox commenter and man who often hears people say, “I didn’t know humans could make that sound,” Mark Levin screeches about how he wouldn’t have permitted the Pentagon to participate in the transition to the Biden Administration in 2021 if he were Donald Trump.  He then goes on to… ramble (?)… about how the House Select Committee has “come up with nothing!” and “it’s all one way!”  He then goes on to say that the federal prosecutors who are now legal pundits “know nothing about the Constitution,” even though that’s kind of mandatory for federal prosecutors.

Still calculating the mileage report she needs to submit to her campaign to pay the back rent on her failing restaurant (allegedly),  abortion test dummy and the former rentgirl from Rifle (allegedly) Lauren Boebert (Q-Colo) actually won her primary taking about 65% of the vote.

The New York Times reports Steven Palazzo, the six-term Trump-endorsed Republican Congressman from Mississippi 4th Congressional District lost his primary run-off to Mike Ezell, a “strong Christian conservative” who had a career in law enforcement.  As reported here at NatZero, Palazzo has been under investigation for funneling campaign funds to his family-owned businesses.

Low-rent Don Jr wannabe Andrew Giuliani has been defeated by Long Island MAGA asshole Congressman Lee Zeldin in the New York Republican governor primary. Any hopes for a sympathy vote after Sunday’s harrowing assassination attempt on his father Rudy by a libtard supermarket employee apparently did not materialize as the returns currently sit at 42.8% for Zeldin, 23.9 for Giuliani, and even more abysmal numbers for the two other dipshits not worth mentioning here.

According to election results reported by the New York Times, incumbent Democratic Illinois Governor J.D. Pritzker will swat away an inconvenient challenge from a Republican candidate who once suggested expelling the city of Chicago from the state because “downstate” people were tired of the city’s liberals controlling state politics.

Darren Bailey continued his Trump-inspired performance art term in the state senate by staging self-promotion opportunities, like the time he was thrown out of the chamber for refusing to wear a mask during the pandemic and the time he sued Pritzker for implementing public health guidelines to keep residents safe.

Bailey is taking the election so seriously, he selected as his running mate Stephanie Trussel, a Black female conservative who used to host a radio program and has no political or governmental experience.

QAnon freak Mesa County, Colorado clerk Tina Peters came in third in Tuesday’s Colorado Republican Secretary of State primary, one in which many, if not most, of the ballots were tabulated by equipment manufactured by her sworn enemy, Denver-based Dominion Voting Systems.

Like we could just be obnoxious here and make up some line like “Dominion employees may or may not have celebrated successfully rigging the election against Peters,” in our usual tedious way of fictionalizing elements of a story, but why bother when they’re probably celebrating her losing fair and square anyway? They should crack open a few Coors Heavy tall boys and savor the moment. And then get even more drunk in the likely event Peters is convicted of the 13 felonies she was indicted on for helping to steal and leak their tabulation software’s source code to Mike Lindell.

Oh, my bad… that headline could apply to most Republican primaries.  In this case, we’re talking about Congresswoman Mary Miller, who topped her competition in the GOP primary for the Illinois 15th Congressional District, where she took on another Republican Congressman, Rodney Davis, due to redistricting.  Dave Wasserman, the Cook Political Report elections expert, has called the race.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams suggested former mayor and cousin lover Rudy Giuliani should be investigated for filing a false police report for his excessively exaggerated claim that he was assaulted by a grocery store worker last weekend, the Associated Press reports.

“Someone needs to remind former Mayor Giuliani that falsely reporting a crime is a crime,” Adams told reporters, adding, “When you look at the video, the guy basically walked by and patted him on the back.  It was clear that he was not punched in the head. It was clear that it didn’t feel like a bullet. It was clear that he wasn’t about to fall to the ground.”

A former NYPD and NY Transit cop, Adams suggested that the Staten Island district attorney should dismiss charges against the grocery store worker who faces three misdemeanor counts and spent 24 hours in jail before being released on his own recognicance.

Ginni Thomas’s lawyer sent a letter to the House January 6th Select Committee on Tuesday indicating his evil cow client’s shit talk about wanting to testify was just that, the New York Times reports. “Mrs. Thomas has expressed a willingness to try to come before the committee as a means of clearing her name. But, based on my understanding of the facts the committee has in its possession, I do not believe there is currently a sufficient basis to speak with Mrs. Thomas,” said Mark Paoletta, who’s such a fanboy he actually wrote a fucking book about Ginni and Clarence.

A “source close to the Secret Service” tells NBC’s Peter Alexander both agent Bobby Engel, who Trump allegedly tried to choke, and the driver of the Suburban when he tried to grab the steering wheel on January 6th, 2021 are prepared to testify under oath that it didn’t happen.

Obviously it’s their word against Cassidy Hutchinson’s and hers was second-hand hearsay. However also noted in the hearing were attempts by Trump minions to influence witnesses. It’s not clear if Engel and the driver still work on Trump’s post-presidential detail – as a number of agents were reported to have transferred from the White House to Mar-a-Lago out of personal loyalty to the fat bastard. If Engel and the driver remain in contact with Trump now their testimony could be considered suspect to say the least, especially if there was no one else riding in the vehicle.

Cassidy Hutchinson, Mark Meadows’ chief aide when he was White House Chief of Staff at the time of the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress, told the House Select Committee looking into the event a number of jaw-dropping details coming from inside the White House.  Some of the fun ones:

Hutchinson was reportedly pushed to testify because of threats made against her.  Last night, after Hutchinson was disclosed to be the witness, Spartan and I had a brief exchange about her motivations for testifying live:

Turns out, we were both in the ballpark.  As the committee showed, Trump and his minions were going all 1930s gangster with a baseball bat to a witness.  “I hope nuthin’ happens to that nice family of yours.” 

A Conservative veteran who served his country during its fight against violent anti-fascists was sentenced to five years in prison Monday – officially the charge was for having helped maintain law and order at a government facility – but really it was for having a different opinion than the globalists who seized power after his party was defeated, CNN reports.

Cassidy Hutchinson lied and the @January6thCmte held a special hearing today to broadcast her lies.

In ‘23, every single one of them need to be held accountable for what they are putting Pres Trump, his admin, & Republicans through on the people’s dime.

Enough of this. https://t.co/8h5LRSZLLm

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) June 28, 2022

If this dumb sow had been paying attention she might’ve picked up that Trump was not riding in “The Beast” Cadillac limo pictured above but a Chevy Suburban – there’s actual photographic proof of him riding in that vehicle that was played in the hearing today AND if you look very closely you can see there is no barrier between where Trump was sitting in the rear passenger side seat and the driver’s seat. Not convinced? Well here’s a better angle, when the fat bastard was a walking vat of Coronavirus, forcing his Secret Service detail to wear masks while driving him up and down the street in front of Walter Reed Medical Center in October 2020. There is nothing separating them visible in that footage either. No it’s not definitely the same Suburban he was riding both times – it could theoretically be two different SUVs, but need we keep digging to prove this when these fucking morons Greene and Posobiec didn’t even have the right vehicle in the first place?

Jeffrey Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison on Tuesday following her conviction in December on five of six counts related to her recruiting teenage girls for Epstein’s scumbaggery, the AP reports. Trump wishes her well.